How the fuck do people get over break-ups in long-term relationships? asking for a friend

how the fuck do people get over break-ups in long-term relationships? asking for a friend
>pic unrelated

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it just happens after awhile

it's going to suck and be heart-wrenching and horrible and painful for awhile

delete all your ex's shit, unfriend on all social media and/or delete social media, start hitting the gym and going out with friends and doing whatever you can to keep busy, and journal and/or meditate

your (friend's) life is gonna suck for awhile

By not getting attached in the first place.
You will break up with most girlfriends
Half of marriages end in divorce
You have a 50% chance of seeing your wife die
Attachment is not worth the gamble.

The same way people get over drug addiction. They get withdrawals, nausea, anxiety, depression...and then it gets better the longer they stay off it. Like said, it's best to cut communication and not follow one's ex on social media as it just prolongs the withdrawal, and may exacerbate the symptoms.

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it gets imperceptibly less every day and eventually you realize you're okay. Starting a new relationship also helps as does other distractions

People find another partner.

You don't just get over a breakup.

I was with someone for 6 years. It ended and I didn't fall inlove again for 3 years.

Your brain has to heal. Love is like a drug and it takes time for the chemicals in your brain to adjust without it.

not OP, gf kicked me out yesterday after 6 years. no clear signs either. whenever she came down with bad moods I asked for the reason and tried to fix everything but she always just blamed her job. then out of fucking nowhere BAM get out of here.

can't fucking deal with it
I get those pangs of sadness when I fall back into my head
I also get fucking unbridled anger for getting fucked over so badly
right now it's pure anger

when will this shit stop? I can't even bring myself to do things I always liked

You don't

I have never known a normalfag who anyhow dwelled on his broken relationships. In 99% of cases they find a new partner within few weeks. I've never known anyone who would be single for longer than a month.
Those who dwell are your usual Jow Forums visitors and other sensitive people (wgo get fucked over later on in life).

My bitterness is insane.

>it's going to suck and be heart-wrenching and horrible and painful for awhile

This is what I hate about relationships. I hate feeling as deeply as I do. During the happy times I just have anxiety that I’m going to lose what I have, and then I feeling absolutely awful during the bad times. Sometimes I question whether it’s worth it. But I want kids and a family so I guess I have to keep going

Hhahaha try getting over your ex when she lives next door from you and you made out a couple of days ago so you ask her out in hopes you will get back together and then she tells you during the date how its all your fault and you know she is right and that you cannot be back together and how she is is now open to other men and then on the ride home she hugs you and says she missed you and then she hugs you and says goodnight and you have to sleep alone again for one more night while only a wall seperates and you know one day soon you will listen to some other guy coming in and fucking her brains out like you used to

it's fucking hilarious hahaha

Why do you live so close to her?

>not accepting that someone broke up with you
>talking to your ex at all
>making out with your ex
>leaving yourself open to get mind fucked by her
>promptly accepting said mind fuck
you need to make less emotional, more rational decisions

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That's the most hilarious part, i work in an island and she hated it here, she met me and even extended her stay here so she could be with me, then she moved next door to me so we could be together more and then we broke up! Fucking A man

It would be easier to accept if she didn't on one day say she missed me and on the other how it could never work out

And now i hear from her friends 'oh she was so proud of you, wouldn't stop talking about you'

And thanks to my low self esteem i couldn't accept this super hot woman actually loved me and because i gave up on the gym so i could spend more time with her not doing anything fun of course, i gave up on everything and stopped caring and even started playing vidya again. Of course she stopped being attracted to me. Now i have my life and diet and work back on track but it's too late, i can never have her again. She is going to meet someone else who probably doesn't give a shit about her and that will turn her on and she will marry him and ill be the weird 50 year old gymrat who masturbates to trap porn or some shit

>been with her for over a year, broken up 4 months ago
>tfw I'm lucky enough to have used up all my emotions for her and have no leftover ones
>we still hang out occasionally and have fun
>i even got her to kiss me the last time
>nobody had their heart broken so we can be totally chill with each other

Ofc I still wish we were actually dating sometimes, but only out of comfort and habit, not bc of feelings. It won't ever happen but whatever, I can do better.

dude girls don't want a perfect guy. unless you were utterly inattentive you two may have just been incompatible.

how about doing something nice for YOURSELF? because you deserve it?
>tells you she misses you then shuts you down the next day
you wouldn't do that to someone else like that right? Fuck this girl man, she doesn't know what she wants. if you got to bang her, take it as a win and move on. key term is 'moving on'. life goes on, regardless if you accept you lost this person or not, the sun will rise and set so you might as well come to terms with it and do your best to crawl back to this person - this would be the opposite of moving on. and you have to use your rational thinking to stop yourself, even if you desire to contact her or get close to her to not do it. this is what I always did and it works good. It even made my future relationships better because I was way more self confident because I always know i'm going to be looking out for myself - and will always see the other person for what they really are, how they truly affect my life etc.

It's not so much as this but her main complaint was that she had to wake up really early (4 am) to go to work and my daily schedule consisting of going to work-make food-go to gym would mean my free time was after 9 pm and she wanted to sleep at that time, and basically she said you just want to come here at night and fuck we don't do anything together. We would go to trips on weekends or places to eat but it wasn't enough. I also didn't care about organising anything fun because i'm not a fun person, i don't care about visiting new places or simply hanging out looking at the sea, i only want to workout. I even started playing vidya again when i was with her and when we broke up i got 1000 euro pc to sink the pain in vidya and now im too depressed to want to play anything. I don't even do anything, i just play with my dog, go to work and the only time i feel a bit alive is when i'm in pain from kickboxing

I can't accept we were incopatible. She is the first girl that actually loved me, she stayed in this place she hates for me and would actually do stuff for me and she was fucking hot everyone was and is hitting on her and i threw all that away for absolutely no reason

Doesn't help i didn't get accepted in the special forces school i wanted to go due to fucking bureacracy

I just don't have any goals right now, i have a job a house a car and basically survive on my own, i just don't want to be lonely, i was lonely for 25 fucking years and when i got my first girlfriend the first feel i felt was relief 'im finally normal i will have a family and kids and die as things are suppossed to be'

I wish i was a normalfag so fucking bad

How do they do it? How can they be happy just by existing?

DON'T check her Instagram or her social media

I checked my ex's about a month after we broke up -- she got with a nigger. Made me sick to my stomach, still does. I want to an hero. Fuck my life.

They don't. Assuming they're "mindless sheep", or so, "just by existing" is a faulty opinion. They just tend to be somewhat pleasurable to one another and could easily connect to each other. They are also much less sensitive about the world, unlike a median vietnamese basket-weaving forum visitor. I've seen NOBODY (but me) in real life blocking ex's, unfriend, etc. most people still either contact each other sooner or later.

It's still an impossible puzzle to me. When a woman breaks up, it's either she has already found someone else, or will find in a short period of time. She'll switch like nothing.
It also happens for men, but not that often. It sounds paradoxical, it's like they value their relationship but could easily let it go in a minute. I don't know how many times I did observe that.

>yesterday
First week is pure hell. You'll be in the gutter for three months. After that it's ten months of ups and downs, thinking about her daily but also taking interest in other women and other things again. I'd say by then you've been through the worst

Advice from an incel might not be the best idea.

PS. Anyone that's been attached can tell you that it's worth it.

Most people hide a lot of their emotions. I would know because I'm able to put on a smile for a while when dealing with those you call normies but as soon as I go home and be alone I start dwelling on the things that bother me and cry myself to sleep. The smile is what you see, but nobody sees the filth when I'm alone in my apartment.

Ι always wondred, do normies ever think they need to improve themselves?

Like , it's what i constantly think. She broke up with me, i can't dwell on it, i will pick more activities to become more interested and surely some girl will notice me

But with most people i don't see that, ever. They just keep doing what they are doing but they aren't alone.

It's what i tell my friends when they start the gym with me and quit after a month or so, they always ask if i can give them a workout program from me because im shredded , and i always tell them the same thing, ' You have a very beautiful woman who loves you and adores you. You are probably getting married too. You have a big circle of friends. You do all that while being the fat sack of shit you are, what reason is there for you to improve? You don't hate yourself nearly enough to stick with something'.

Am i wrong? I mean the only way normies will stick to working out is if they roid and become addicted.

Been 5 years and I still haven't moved on. There literally hasn't been a single day where I haven't thought about her. I stalk her online obsessively even though she hardly ever posts on social media. I have imaginary conversations with her all the time, in bed, when watching tv on the sofa etc. I jerk off thinking about her. It's never going to end...

This is what happens when you don't get a gf till your late 20s and have no early relationship experience. I have nothing going for me in life. I think I'm going to be living in purgatory until I die

You get over LTR break-ups by picking up the broken pieces of your life and becoming happy as a single man again. You spend more time on friends, hobby's, meeting new girls and becoming your own person again. This can take many months or sometimes even years depending on how difficult the break up was. I was in a LTR for 2,5 years and she dumped me all of a sudden. I'm now roughly 7 months post-breakup up and i can say i'm pretty much over her. But my ex still crosses my mind pretty often. Getting dumped out of a committed relationship always leaves a scar in your soul.

I think the only moment you TRULY get over an ex, is when you meet a new girl who is cooler/more attractive than your ex was. So basically, when you upgrade over your past relationship.