My bf refuses to communicate with me on our sex life issue

My bf and I have been dating for 8 months. About 4 months ago, he went from initiating sex twice a day/every day/every two days, to not being interested in fucking me more than once a week or less and preferring to jerk off when I am not there. I personally have a very high sex drive, so being rejected so much and given so much less sexual attention is starting to bother me.
I have brought it up several times. Each time I do, I try to be as caring and gentle in my wording as I possibly can to avoid triggering him and causing an argument. He changes topics, he ignores any questions, he has sent me several different extremely vague excuses without any explanation and not delivering one upon request, and he blatantly lies in an attempt to quickly sweep the conversation under the rug once again.
I tried fixing this on my own in the beginning, turning down my frequency of seeing him to 3-4 days a week in case his issue was seeing too much of me despite him begging me to come over literally every day. Of course this doesn't work, and the consecutive days I do come over I get nothing but rejection and he proceeds to jerk off the days that I am not over.
I am not sure how to proceed from here since he ignores my every attempt to figure out the issue and try to fix it. As time goes by, our frequency of sex gets lower.
Can anyone here give me some advice on getting him to communicate with me? Advice on what is wrong? Advice on how to fix this?
Apologies for the wall of text. I don't want anyone here wasting their time replying with something I could've mentioned in the beginning.

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Are you fat? Are you more bitchy? Did his schedule change? Is he working more? How is he doing in school?
Have you found out what kind of porn he faps to? Is it tranny porn?
Is sex satisfying to you, or do you take forever to get there, if you even get there at all? Did you say something stupid like admit your ex was bigger? Maybe he has low confidence. He he average size, or below average?

These questions will help you find the answer.

This is perfectly normal in your situation : monogamy creates sexual boredom.
You did not do anything wrong, it is just how human beings are wired. You accelerated the process by seeing him almost everyday of the week.
Now the games start : you can be a bit more distant, which will make him chase you etc.

Welcome to monogamy!

no it is not
ive been with my girlfriend for years and i still fuck her daily sometimes more than once a day, fuck off

Most humans are naturally monogamous, take your projecting somewhere else.

Could be something related to you (not saying you are unattractive, maybe he just doesn't find you attractive anymore). Maybe he's depressed or on medication. Tbh if the sex sucks and he's not willing to work with you on it just bail and find someone else. My ex never wanted sex which led to a lot of friction but I ended up finding a new girl where our sex drives match which is so much better

Not fat, no schedule change at the time the issues began, he's jobless, doing well is school even though school will always be stressful, I have no idea the porn, sex is satisfying and I try to compliment him as much as I can, and he's a little above average. He has always had a lot of self-confidence from what he shows me, so I highly doubt he is insecure about his performance or body.
Not gonna lie, though, I do get a bit bitter when I get rejected so many times. That probably stresses him out alongside school, so I'll keep that in mind. But these issues began during summer break when neither my bitterness or his school stress was there.

It could very possibly be me, but I can't confirm it or do anything about it unless he communicates with me. Highly doubt it's depression and I know he doesn't take any medication.

Well if he refuses to communicate it's time to get angry and show him you mean business. I'm all for having calm adult conversations to work through stuff but if he keeps dodging the issue stop seeing him altogether until he decides he wants to talk about and work through it

People enter relationships for a variety of reasons and your short relationship, for you, is based on sex from the start. Your sex partner is not a bf and your sex partner has realized that he provides nothing more than the dick. Your sex partner had different expectations and foolishly pursued a real relationship with someone that only wants to fuck.

projection
this is true you can't stay in a relationship with someone who lies

Sex addiction. Porn addiction.

any possibility that he's cheating on you?

MEN ARE ENTITLED TO SEX WITH WOMEN

BUT WOMEN GET FREE ACCESS TO DUDES DICKS?

HAHAHA FUCK OFF CUNT DIE ALONE

>monogamy creates sexual boredom.
It amazes me that in two generations we've completely wrapped back around to retarded boomer memes

Is he stressed the fuck out about something? Also...are you more experienced in sex than he is?

>projection
what the fuck are you talking about?

This is a case of two people with different expectations. The male wanted an emotional relationship reinforced with physical intimacy and OP out of the gate started fucking and now finds herself unable to emotionally connect enough for him to consider her demand serious.

She finds herself unable to connect because women are soulless vagi a machines

They need to be chained age regulated like cattle. They aren't people

This is bullshit. Sure, sexual desire does always decrease a little bit as time goes on. But in my experience it shouldn't be that much difference.

I was with my ex girlfriend for 2,5 years and even well into 2 years of our relationship i was still super horny for my girlfriend pretty much every single day of the week.

>having only one girlfriend
>not raping her into submission

Lol westerners are retarded

>not being interested in fucking me more than once a week or less and preferring to jerk off when I am not there
This is a big red flag to me OP. It's possible for people to have temporary lowered sex drive because of a wide range of causes. Stress, medication, bad sleep etc. can all cause low sex drive for a certain amount of time.

But the fact that he still very much enjoys jerking off but not fucking you is a big deal. It means there isn't much wrong with his sex drive. I think there are 3 possible causes for his lack of sexual desire for you.

>he is uncomfortable/anxious about having sex with you.
Does he come off as tense or anxious when having sex? Does he have certain insecurities that prevent him from truly opening up to you sexually? If so, it might be a psychological issue which can lead him to enjoy jerking off on his own more than having sex.

>your sex life is very boring
How do you guys have sex? Do you always resort to the same position and foreplay (if any) without putting much thought into it? To maintain a proper sex life you have to try and change things up every once in a while. Keep things fresh and exciting for each other.

>he is not attracted to you (anymore)
To be honest, i think this is the most likely cause for your problem. I know it sounds harsh, but it is the most sensible explanation. It's possible he simply doesn't find you attractive enough (anymore). He gets more turned on by jacking off to the girls he finds on pornhub than having sex with you. I know this is possible because i know for a fact that there are guys out there who date girls they don't find particularly attractive. Usually out of loneliness. They simply want a girlfriend and don't consider sexual attraction very important. To be clear though, i'm not saying you are an ugly girl, you might simply not be the type of girl that turns him on.

>not raping her into submission
What is the point you're trying to make? I don't get it.

Oh, I see, you're from Afghanistan

My girlfriend and I have seen each other daily for roughly the past three years and we still fuck on the reg.
I wish you misogynist morons would just stay on Jow Forums. Fucking Europeans.

Something wrong with that kuffir?

If Afghanistan and brown countries are so bad to women then why do western white girls come here "backpacking" all the time?

And we all know "backpacking" translates to getting chain fucked in a hostel by masculine brown men.

Maybe you are weak?

>devoid of empathy and will destroy a woman's life without a second thought
>sees nothing wrong with it yet finds fault with her for his actions
>calls women soulless and not people
i really really REALLY fucking miss being able to look up to men and have faith in them

Any sort of "freedom" you think you have has been granted and maintained by men, remember that men can collectively turn on women overnight.

You'll know what real rape culture is if you keep pushing buttons.

no shit sherlock and i've loved and appreciated them for it all my life. i'm not a button pusher. i discourage other gals from doing it. people have always come to me with their problems because i'm one of those easy-to-talk-to faggots and can suggest solutions in ways that folks apparently find palatable. i'm loyal to a fucking fault and must be legit retarded because if i love you it's unconditional.
>remember that men can collectively turn on women overnight.
every day is already a reminder

Nice trips but girls can't be faggots.

welp. the suspension of having my other half to be all gay af and disgusting with has severely hampered my ability to effectively faggot, i'll give you that much. man i don't even know what i did wrong or if it was even me or wtf happened and how a person could...this whole world just feels like a lie

So... why don't you initiate?

Why is sex so important to some people?

Because it's sex? It's the most intense thing humans are capable of experiencing, because it's the most important thing we have to do in our lives (reproduce). Sex a very, very important part of a healthy relationship

Just putting a backpack on a goat doesn't make it a white girl

I don't agree with any of that. But I guess that's what makes me different.

So you're asexual? I don't understand how people can downplay the importance of sex, it's so innate...

Call up chad to give you the best sex discussion you'll ever have. I'm sure he'll communicate all of desires to you.

Why is anything important to anyone? Why do people care about animals? Environment? Hobbies? Politics?

Because it's something they value. Jesus, dude, do you ever leave the house or are you just living in a bubble?

No, I have sex every now and then. Last time was quite some time ago. I just dont have the urge that often. I've only had two girlfriends, but I'd say I have an average social life, so I could have another one if I wanted to. I like focusing on self improvement and spending time with family and friends. I've always kind of regarded sex as something that doesn't matter that much (but when it's someone who I care about it can be very intimate)

Perhaps I just have a low sex drive but have been so accustomed to it that it's made a weird disconnection from people who prioritize it above many things... It's just kinda fascinating to see people obsess over something so... basic

> It's the most intense thing humans are capable of experiencing

Disagreed. Music is better than sex in my book.

Music cant make me nut. Nothing is above a good nut. Except maybe cocaine but I've never used it.

Disagreed again. I have had euphonic orgasms (orgasms induced by sound) that were much more satisfying than sexual orgasms. Yes, the feeling is fundamentally different, but blowing up with tingles, washing over with chills and goosebumps, and exploding at the center of the universe like Mount Vesuvius feels much more three-dimensional and meaningful than
>oh yeah look at that chick's ass
>oh fuck imma...immma CUUUUMMMM
>FUK MOMMMAAA IMMMMAA CUMMMMIIINNNN!
>PAPA'S CUMMINNNNN!!!!
>OH BABY BABY DELICIOUS DOPAMINE
>OH OH OH OH..OH!
>oh...oh...ahh...
>ok, what?

It's an evolutionary trick designed to incentivize you to reproduce, and thus feels cheap and meaningless. It's something that just about every organism on the planet experiences. This is coming from someone who has had orgasms on a myriad of different substances, solo and with others, different no-fap time frames, etc. etc. etc. and STILL I think that it's an ultimately empty experience and not exactly worth the trouble.

Music (for example) was NOT designed to be pleasurable, but it is. It's an unintentional side effect of our physiology and I think there's real beauty in that, much like other activities that aren't directly hooked up to our pleasure centers (e.g. sex, food, and sleep). It's about taking advantage of the fact that you are in human form, a form that is so intelligent that it is self-aware, and because you have such a crazily complex brain you're able to extract enjoyment from stimuli that pretty much every other species on the planet are utterly tone deaf to.

Why spend so much time and resources on the ol' "in-n-out" when you could be exploring this wonderfully intricate aperture of experience, that is, being human? I'm not saying sex isn't important - it is - but to imply that it is the most intense or pleasurable thing one can experience...My friend, maybe "for you".

I used to be the man in this scenario. Would do this after being w/ a beautiful girl for over 8 years.
It's not just you. It's the guy too. He's not excited anymore. And it's probably both of your faults.
Fact is, he's either jerking off to the thoughts of who you used to be or he's thinking of something else in the past that he misses.
Show him you care. If he doesn't respond, you may have to leave him for him to see what he'll be missing.

Dump him. Same thing happened with my ex who I was with for 4 years living together for 2. Used to be 3-4 times a week, then gradually more infrequent until it was maybe once every two weeks and I practically had to throw myself on top of him. He confessed when I broke up with him that he was "masturbating too much." But someone doesn't just choose masturbating over fucking their girlfriend repeatedly unless they see an issue with the relationship. He's not telling you something else and if you've already tried to talk to him to no avail, the relationship is already dead.

You've never had great sex, that's the issue. You can only obtain that in a strong emotional relationship after time, its more than just physical.

Well, God intended for sex to be a sacred thing you do with the love of your life for a reason. This hyper-sexualized society is disgusting, really

You're trying to level my life experiences with yours, that's the issue. Again, "for you" great sex is the best thing you can experience.

I'd suggest breaking up with him and find another guy who will have sex with you. Why be with a cuck like that

Thouse who dont know the history are bound to repeat it.

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You are replying to a very obvious bait user...

Your bf is a Thrill of the Hunt guy. Now that he "has" you, he is getting bored.

You need to look for a Pleasure of Sex dude, on the other end of the spectrum.

Yes, these are puas acronyms, deal with it.

Because they're hedonists

when this happened to me, it was because my ex needed to back off a bit. she made sex seem like a chore, and to be honest i was getting kinda bored. just as i assume you do too, men can't have sex with the same person day in day out, for weeks, months, or years on end without feeling a little bored. i'm not saying cheat on him, that'd be a pretty fucking stupid and selfish move, but get yourself a good toy or two and have some fun while you let him recuperate and learn his hand is boring compared to women. women don't realize that being overbearing is a one-way ticket to losing a man. y'all need to seriously learn how to chill

nope

It is universal thing across almost all mammal species.
Males tend to drop of in sexual interest if they are mating with same partner for prolonged time. That is changed if he is introduced to new female but process repeats itself. I see that people are calling bullshit on it but it is fact.
I am not sure that what can be done. Him sticking with healthy lifestyle (eating well, exercising and sleeping enough) should keep his testosterone levels high so it might make things better

>he's never shot up heroin
Pleb.

15 years of monogamy and waifu n me fuck (and I mean fuck, not lackluster sex)
Your hot take is weak, you need to reevaluate

Maybe he's a cuck and is trying to push you into fucking other men.
That or he's fucked up in the head somehow, or tired. Sex takes up a lot of energy.

The relationship might be what he's not wanting? So many things and he doesn't seem to be communicating well. You seem to be trying to talk and figure this shit out, but he seems to be the one with the issue.

The problem this will lead to you resenting him, which is obvious you don't want, but that shit does build up over time. After that all it takes is another guy that makes you "feel special".

>fucking europeans
hwaet?

You can always find someone to fuck on tinder or some other app.