I'm almost 30 and just started dating my first gf. We get along pretty well. Have similar interests. Its been three months and the whole time I figured she wasn't a very sexual person. I was ok with this because I havent cared about sex in a long time. I'm also overweight and never pictured anyone wanting me physically. Last nught however we werw talking and she brought up that she wanted to start getting intimate. She also tried to give me a bj which I turned down. I don't really understand why she woukd want that from me when she could have it with anyone she wanted. After years of hearing how repulsive I am I have no clue how to even be sexy too someone. I don't know what to do about this besides maybe breakup. Seeing her later tonight.
> Inb4 loose the weight fatty
Been on a diet and hitting the gym for two years now. Progress is slow do to past back injury.
I'm almost 30 and just started dating my first gf. We get along pretty well. Have similar interests...
You just allowed your insecurities to be a barrier to the sexual relationship your girlfriend needs. Get ready for the single life. P.S. That shit had nothing to do with your weight.
She's going to ditch you. Women need sex just as much as men, and if you rejected her she's going to start feeling unattractive. And when a woman feels un-wanted.. she going to go craycray
user, if a 600lb man can fuck a 400lb woman so hard they literally bring the building down around them then you need to fucking step up.
That cant be real. Right?
Maybe for the best. Been single so long before I dont think it would be a big deal.
I just dont understand why now. She's been more affectionate too lately. I figured she just wasnt like that. Too old for sex and cutesy shit. Unless she has a fat fetish
Why are you sabotaging this relationship? If you don't want her, break up with her. You just gave an example of what I just accused you of. Use this as an opportunity, go see a therapist. Just because she wants to suck your cock doesn't mean she likes fat guys. Just because you are a sexual generalist (meaning you're too disgusting to be picky) doesn't mean she is. Your low self-esteem is palpable.
Sounds like your not ready for a real relationship or even fit to be in one, but I know how you feel and used to have the same problem.
>used to be overweight
>lose a ton of weight and sex drive shot up high
>30 now and learn women really care about sex
Not having a sex drive sucks because you learn to live with out it. In reality women sex drive are stronger then men.
If your not fucking her right she will find someone who will.
> I don't know what to do about this besides maybe breakup
Either smoothtalk her when you see her and say that you want to be sexual with her but didn't feel it was the right moment back then
or
say that you don't feel anything sexual and if she can't handle it, break up
>Too old for sex
Is she 70?
>That cant be real. Right?
It's totally real. To be fair tho, it was a 250 year old building that needed a pretty major overhaul. Since most tenants had already left because of the structural issues, nobody was below them when they crashed through the first 2 floors (they were on the third) and landed in the basement laundry. They only had a few minor scratches and stuff too.
Point being tho, if these two have figured out their shit, surely OP can and should.
She's 30. I was lead to believe people people get all the fucking out of the way in their early to mid 20s. Late 20s early 30s is when people start settling down. Part of the reason why I figured it wasn't going to come to this.
>>used to be overweight
>>lose a ton of weight and sex drive shot up high
How does that work?
Op not who you are replying to but I heard body fat traps in testosterone or something like that.
You are a fucking retard. People in their 30s have a lot of sex. As do people in their 40s and 50s.
Literally just cross the "I feel bad about myself" bridge. My girlfriend and I did it and it helped. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all that news.
and you need help with...?
People 30+ often have *more* sex than they ever did in their teen years. Not only can they now last longer and are more practiced, they're also into progressively weirder and weirder stuff to keep the experience fresh.
Okay OP. I see where your coming from and see the solution.
A lot of guys dont realize this one fucking fact about women. They are not as interested in your looks. That's what GUYS like. For women it's all about how you make them feel. Period.
They want to feel protected, secure, loved ect. This is why women get get with some house of a man and genuinely love them.
It's why she's with you. You make her feel some combination of those things. So stop worrying about your looks and just fuck her already. Make her feel loved.
As a man in his 30s I can confirm. Every year in my 30s I have had more sex with more girls than I did in my entire 20s.
Based off things I read here. It didn't hit me how retarded that sounds till just now. I have 0 dating experiance so I really have no clue whats going on. The closest I had was this one girl who I was seeing. She identified as an anti sexual and went out of her way to make me feel like shit for disagreeing with her.
It just weird that she never brought it up early. I do enjoy being with her don't get me wrong. Believing that she wasn't into sex though made it easier for me. If you havent figured it out by now I'm a virgin.
>anything x 0 = 0
sure i'm having more sex.
That's the math tho user. You gotta have some to have more and you've literally got a woman in the wings willing to help you with that. Get on her.
Brought up what? When you are 30 you expect to have sex in a relationship. You should have brought it up early on that you are asexual.
Not asexual. I just stopped caring. After hearing for years how ill never be wanted you just stop giving a fuck. Even read it on here how no one wants a fat guy. Up until recently she wasn't very affectionate and gave no hint of wanting anything sexual.
I literally have a young woman in my office whom exclusively dates fat guys user. Why are you still typing here, go fuck your girl. Don't answer that wasn't a question, it was a prefaced instruction.
Every girl and every guy wants sex unless they are asexual. Why is this so hard for you to understand?
Its just that I feel pressured now knowing she sees me this way. Before that i felt like this was just a settiling for companionship situation. Now I feel like now there's a possibility of disappointing her. And everything changed now.
Not seeing her till later tonight. So does she have a fetish then?
I know a feel people who aren't asexual that just are not into sex. I'm more comfortable beating it than be naked with anothet person.
>does she have a fetish then?
When it's not a weird sex thing, which it isn't in this case, it's called a "preference". She has a preference user. Some women simply prefer more squishy cuddly men.
I'm having such a hard time understanding that mindset. So many reasons why being fat is disgusting. Its such an obvious sign of poor health. How can someone find this attractive is beyond me. And personally feel incredibly insulted if my gf referred to me as cuddly or squishy. She's seen me shirtless before. It weird me out that she would still want me naked and flopping on top of her after that.
Well you find your own health disgusting because your body obviously needs you to long term do something about it to stay alive. That's just self preservation user.
But people generally can't help their preferences any more than you can help wanting to stay alive. I prefer asians. Not culturally, just specific face/body shapes. And generally I get accused of "yellow fever" or wanting a "submissive asian", but it's just a preference.
Just remember to take any weird preferential things she might say, like "cuddly" or "squishy" with the intent they're given rather than how they might sound to you in context with your own self preservation.
But also don't hesitate to improve your health. As your self disgust diminishes with the deterioration of your health, you'll probably discover she likes you regardless of your body type as preferences rarely withstand long term intimacy.
Just got back from gym. She called me a little while ago. She got mandated overtime at work. Told her we need to talk about some things after. Not sure what direction this is going to go in. Thank you for the advice. Ive had alot to think about.