Restaurant etiquette

met up with a long term friend who I feel recently doesn't have the time of day for me. decided to have dinner and met up at a restaurant I recommended that he has never been to before. he brought his girlfriend and I brought mine.
I got there at the expected time and parked in view of the front of the restaurant and door so I could see when my mate showed up. Because I have the feeling it's rude to enter a restaurant without your guest and not wait for them I waited in the car so my girlfriend and I could talk privately whilst being in clear view of the front door so we could get out when they had arrived. we wait for near 25 minutes past the expected meet up time and finally walk around the car park (night time) to see if their car has arrived yet. I see the girlfriend car that I think is hers so we make our way to the front of the restaurant and see them waiting inside. we cop a little bit of attitude for "being late" but the show goes on.

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Attached: table.jpg (800x533, 97K)

While you're typing the rest - personally when me and a friend meet up somewhere we usually write "already there, i'll be waiting inside" or something in our chat group. Especially when being early could mean getting better seats.

I've never gone into a restaurant when planning to getting lunch/dinner with someone before so I thought it was rude they also ordered entrees without us being there and notified us that they had ordered because they have been waiting (felt like a sly move). I know ordering the food is down right rude but shouldn't they have atleast sent a text message or called if they had been "waiting" in the restaurant and annoyed to the point of HAVING to order food without their guest? it's not like I knew they where in the restaurant waiting and I have always waited to be seated with my guest so I had never of thought to send a text and ask where they where I just thought they where running late because still weren't out the front. but I do know that If I was ever in the circumstance to be seriously inconvenienced I would atleast send a text or calling to check up on my guest to see what their ETA is before ever ORDERING a entree. I would also pass the inconvenience off when we have been seated not give abit of attitude to let the person aware that I'm annoyed.

I feel like it's just common sense to wait out the front and if you aren't waiting out the front to atleast send a text to alert the other person you're inside at the table since you're not in view. so I feel as if they did it on purpose to make my girlfriend and I feel uncomfortable.

I know it's not a first world problem but just like to see other peoples perspective on the situation. I never sent a text asking for their ETA because my girlfriend and I weren't inconvenienced by what we thought was a late arrival but apparently they where in the restuarant the whole time.

So this is what autism is

why does this relate to being autistic what's your stance on this?

You all sound like prats who would do well to never meet again if nobody involved thought to text the other to let them know "I'm in the parking lot" or "I'm inside."

didn't think it would be necessary as I expected the guest to wait outside the restaurant and I had clear and attentive view of the restaurant front. I had just thought they where running late and to not put pressure on them by sending them a text. I only thought it was odd that they gave attitude for WAITING for so long and had even ordered but didn't think to send a text. I know that if it was bothering me about a late appearance I would have sent a text but because I thought they where just finding the joint I thought nothing of it and to just be vigilant whilst waiting. If I was ever so inconvenienced I would at least give the other person a chance to explain where they are or how much longer they're going to be before giving attitude and ordering a entree.

also this person claims to hardly use his phone anymore because recent change of life events causing him to hardly be on his phone. I also was trying to plan the dinner during the day and after sending the message he viewed it 2 hours after sending it although he had been online short after sending the message. So I thought sending a message not only would put more pressure on them but also wouldn't be seen in time.

You stalked the entrance for half an hour and went late to the restaurant and you are angry at your friend for being on time and ordering after he figured you arent coming.

it's a pretty strange assumption to think I wasn't coming when there was no effort in sending a text message to see where I was. if you're waiting on a package and the eta is 2-4 days and it doesn't arrive do you just believe it's not coming or do you chase the package up and ask where it is?
like I said, I've never entered a restaurant without notifying the other person I'm inside. I've never entered a restaurant without my guest period. but if I had to for some reason I would notify the person straight away and let them know the reason why they wont be able to find me out the front

so when someone invites you to dinner at a restaurant you've never been to before you go ahead and sit down at the back out of sight from the person who invited you to the dinner and just expect the person who invited you to play a game of hide and seek till they find out where you are because you didn't want to notify them that you're inside and not waiting out the front?

or perhaps send a text like a normal person

like I said, he hardly uses his phone chances are he wouldn't have seen the text he only uses his phone when he needs it. so I expected him to contact me notifying that he's at the back of a restaurant sitting down out of sight under no reservation and couldn't wait out the front for me. I'm not sure what country you're from but it's etiquette to wait out the front of a venue for guest before going in to enjoy the venue.

OP is autistic. The whole point of going to a restaurant is so the party who is early can have a drink while they wait. I'm surprised your girlfriend didn't dump you yet.

girlfriend found it rude too and a entree is a really funny name for a drink. It was all confusion and was fine as they sipped on their drinks and then they told us they have already ordered entrees. this action speaks to me as if I'm now interrupting their dinner since it has already commenced. a drink is fine, entree .. no.

You should’ve just texted him that you were there and then walked in. This is on you for waiting for absolutely no reason. I can’t believe the thought never crossed your mind that he could’ve got there before you, and you wouldn’t have seen him arriving. And I don’t know what country you’re from, but in the US people go inside the restaurant to wait instead of hiding in a car.

OP what do you think the WAITING AREA is for

OP, this was your fault. You shouldn't have waited outside in your car in the first place, there was a chance they were inside already. Therefore, the whole posterior "rudeness" if on you, you caused it. I wouldn't think too much of it and let it go.

Normal people would send a text: we’re here, waiting at the bar (that’s why restaurants have a bar, it’s their waiting for the rest of the party waiting area).

See technology works both ways. You’re stupid for not texting your arrival. They’re stupid for not texting their arrival... a perfect match.

I just thought it would be a normal thing to atleast check up and ask where I was first before getting pissed off and ordering entree's just seemed very arrogant like they cbf asking where we are or what was happening but just continuing on with the meals by themselves. from all the other dinners I've ever been invited to or have invited with other guests I have always been told the whereabouts of the person who had invited me had they sat at the table before us or if I for somereason couldn't wait at the front of the restaurant notified the person straight away to let them aware I was inside. just seemed strange to not tell me this but then get angry that they where waiting and went ahead with ordering food seemed like they expected me to knew where they where in such a big restaurant without any idea or instinct they where here

You walk up and ask the host if [friends name]'s party has been seated yet you dumb fuck.

>all the other dinners I've ever been invited
but you said you recommended this restaurant, so it was - kinda - your invitation.
yes, they should have texted you asking what you wanted, but unpunctuality can be very off-putting too, so, like I said, you got that for yourself.
Thinks could have been organized better from both parties. Then, as Ockham said, in a line of causes, check the first one and look from consequences from there. You were the first cause: you got there late (I know you where outside, that does't matter, you ASUMED they where not there) and that is the first cause. Forget about it.
If anything, just don't go out with your friend anymore.

things could have been organized*

no reservation made and a non English speaking restaurant hard to communicate/identify who is who....

yeh I would have just thought the meeting spot would be outside the restaurant not inside at a table and then order entrees without the other parties having arrived. you're right it could have been organised a whole lot better but no matter how off putting punctuality is to me I would never order anything more than a light beverage without guest arriving. once food is ordered I feel it means the meal has commenced and any input in food requests go out the window, every man for themselves. still odd behaviour to wait and be so inconvenienced by someone you're waiting for but still not send a message before coming across that displeasure.

One never knows, the server could have asked if they were ready to order like four times already and they felt pressure to finally order.

>I would have just thought
My advice is, next time, don't make any assumptions.
>once food is ordered
an entree is technically "not food", is something to start, and in those cases yes, is every man for themselves.

easy to say we're waiting on guests to arrive but we will alert you when ready to order. anyway they where pretty abrupt when telling us they have already ordered entree's.

like I say above to last reply they where pretty abrupt when letting us know they have already ordered entree's it was definitely used to make my girlfriend and I feel uncomfortable so in their eyes they don't see any difference between entree and mains. and like you said it's something to start.. they started without us and that's something I would never do no matter how late someone was

Ok, then do go out with them anymore. You are entitled to have common social norms with your pairs, if they are not respecting them, don't repeat the scenario.

Easy enough that that’s considered very rude, you don’t treat a restaurant like your personal dinning-room.

Stop expecting other people to do things you would do. That's where you first fucked up, long before you even decided on the Meetup.

The lack of communication on both sides is why the things happened the way they did. Next time, just call or text the dude. This is why communication is important. It's literally a thing every living being on the planet does.

I think waiters would appreciate you communicating with them telling them you will alert them when ready so they're not pointlessly asking every 2 minutes. I think now you're just nit picking. why would I have a waiter come up to me every 2 minutes when I know I wont be ready for 10 when I could save them time by letting them know when I'm ready to order with a simple eye contact?

are Americans really this stupid and tasteless?
It’s like a disability damn

you talking about the replies I'm getting about the situation or thinking OP is stupid?
what you mean by tasteless

Proper etiquette is to go inside, get seated and wait for them at the table.

So this is what social autism looks like. Damn man, I feel bad for you op.

damn just let it go dude...

I’m talking about the OP.
What kind of savage wants to stand outside in a car park like a prosititute rather than going inside, getting a chance to peruse the wine menu, getting comfortable?

Have you ever, ever seen a film in which somebody meets somebody else for food or drink? Spoiler alert: they meet inside the restaurant. Where the food and warmth is.

It’s also normal to order something like olives to have with your drink whilst you wait. Dining should be a joyful experience!