How do I work towards self-improvement when I know that there is no happy ending in store for me?
My beliefs, my desires and many of my higher-level goals will never be met or actualized and I'm very depressed and have no motivation so how do I go on regardless?
How do you know nothing good will ever happen?
I didn't say that good will never happen. I said I know that there is no happy ending in store for me and that my beliefs, desires and a good chunk of my higher-level goals will never be met or actualized.
I know this because I know myself and I have a good assessment of general human nature but I see worth in self-improvement, not to make things good, but to ensure that they will be at least slightly less bad. It's just hard to do anything in that direction as I am.
How do you know there is no happy ending in store for you? How do you know your goals will never be realized? Did your crystal ball tell you this?
Every single life is a tragedy, especially at the very end. That doesn't mean it's not worthwhile or not "happy" until that moment.
Maybe your beliefs and goals are wrong? Before you say it's impossible, realize that we all had pretty stupid goals as kids and that those things change as we mature
If you knew what my goals were you'd understand why and mock me for having them in the first place. I'm unflinching in them none the less and I plan on dying without dropping the beliefs or the goals, both of which make meeting out and actualizing my desires almost impossible or highly unlikely.
Besides that, I do want to help my family, pay them back for being kind, maybe help people in my community(that I'm not really apart of) and make sure I do not suffer more than what's inevitable in my life but I can't get the motivation for any of that either.
I'm interested in your goals.
I myself wish I could live a happier life. I don't know what it comes down to really, but i'd guess my poor income and having 0 friends.
>My beliefs and goals are impossible to achieve
>I refuse to change my beliefs or goals
Okay? Well you created the exact intractable situation you wanted, why are you bitching about it?
You had unrealistic goals and that's why you are giving up on life?
I've had motivation problems before this, learning these beliefs and rationalizing them actually gave me a temporary boost in motivation until I realized how highly unlikely it is to actualize them and I fell back down.
I made this thread because I don't see why I can't be rewired, motivation-wise, everyone is going to die but a lot of people have motivation to do things regardless. I want to know what I need to be like that.
We feel good (and motivated) when we are making progress towards our goals. If you set unrealistic or impossible goals, you won't make progress towards them, and you won't feel good.
I don't have anything high besides these goals and beliefs that I would like to do. Should I satisfy myself with very low goals?
Break your big goals down into small goals that will lead you in that direction.
If your shit is legitimately impossible though, I dont know what to tell you, youre just going to be miserable forever.
>these goals
Just forget about these "goals" since they are obviously so retarded you don't even dare mention what they are.
I don't feel like having a 200 post dialogue about things I've explained before just because I need advice.
Thing is, I could break down a less-high sub-goal to make it conceivably achievable and that sub-goal would make me happy but just like the higher goals, it's so unlikely to ever happen, for the same reason why I'm not explicit about the goal.
Everyone has their own meaning but there's a most-popular super-meaning that most of the species and almost all people relevant to that sub-goal believe in religiously, to the point where they never need to justify believing in that super-meaning to actualize it. I diverge from that after rationalizing the divergence and it makes it impossible to do much because everything in society is based on that super-meaning.
Do you want to live a happy and fulfilling life or do you want to live with your head in the clouds and wank yourself off about your esoteric life philosophy?
It's your choice
I think I just need different things that would make me feel like life is worthwhile that aren't inconsistent with what I believe. It really isn't so crazy that it would entail me not getting a career or pursuing hobbies or helping people, I just don't feel motivation when I think of any of those as ends, which is how I know my beliefs are correct ironically.
You can't help your family or whatever unless you start setting realistic goals. Right now it sounds like you're creating an untenable mental situation just so you can justify being a lazy bitch.
What motivates you? What goals keep you going?
I don't know if I have the right frame of reference.
The pursuit of contentment.
>The pursuit of contentment.
What does that entail for you?
getting better at my job (software dev) so I can raise my earning potential and standard of living, hopefully becoming "free" of the rat race sooner than later
Improving people skills (good for career as well as personal life). Cultivating a more positive attitude and creating a life where I generally feel good as often as possible. Being good and reliable to the people in my life... And so on. The more "localized" you can make this stuff, the better. It's why "smash the patriarchy " people are so miserable, they live in a constant state of failing to achieve their goals.
Don’t try to “get better”. It will lead to more self hatred when a personality trait you detest shows itself, and if anything you’ll become even more misanthropic, nihilistic, and ultimately more depressed when a situation against your interest arises.
As gay as it sounds, just accept that you are the way you are, and be comfortable with who you are, no matter how shitty you view yourself. When there is a war going on outside, it is because there is a war going on inside.
Find new goals! Even if they seem inconsequential.
Go on a hundred different roller coasters is a goal you can work towards and enjoy working towards. Now of course roller coasters aren’t free so you might need a job and a budget. And it is more fun to go on coasters with friends, maybe even a girlfriend/wife or a son/daughter. And you can’t go on coasters when you have heart issues, so taking care of your health is important too.
Working towards a goal that may seem frivolous will give you the motivation to move towards a successful future.
>getting better at my job (software dev) so I can raise my earning potential and standard of living, hopefully becoming "free" of the rat race sooner than later
Why do you want to do any of that?
Increasing earning potential and standard of living and even becoming free of the rat race don't seem much like goals in of themselves, just means to an end or a better process/set of goals.
I don't know what you mean.
If I have more income I can do cool shit like travelling and having fun and interesting experiences. Do you not have any interesting things you aspire to experience? Why even live?
Also, if you want to have a family.. and/or help your family as you mentioned before, you need money. Do you not see any value on making the lives of everyone around you amazing?
>Motivates
Doing what I want to laugh at life and death both at once. Someday I'll have to get more serious about life but hopefully I and my loved ones are all dead by that point.
Really, just wanna cram as much fun before the heat-death of the world.
Doing things like that don't really appeal to me.
>help your family
I guess I need to hammer it in myself that I need to act to make this happen.
When I changed my mindset my goals started to change. A year ago if you talked to me about traveling or something I would have also said that it doesn't interest me, but as I cultivated a more positive mindset, worked on building my social circle, reconciled with friends and family, etc. I naturally started broadening my horizons.
I'll try different things to change my mindset then.
Stoicism. Learn about stoicism, and what made Marcus Aurelius so awesome. Thank me later.