>She "dated" other guys while we were broken up for a bit (like a month)
>Whatever, she was free to see other men
>She wants to get back together
>Told her I can't be with her if she had been with other men. I wouldn't be able to let it go. I would let it poison the relationship if we got back together.
>I was free to not take her back
>I ended things for good. I cried a lot that night by myself. Gotta let it out to move on.
>Fast forward a bit to the holidays. She told me she didn't actually sleep with anyone, only dating and nothing serious. Wants us to spend Christmas and New Years Eve together with her family.
>I agree because she wasn't intimate with anyone
>Things are really great. We both are happy. We thought we could be happy together again.
>She gets drunk on New Years Eve. In bed, I ask her again if she slept with anyone while we were apart.
>Yes
>WTF! I leave immediately.
>She lied to me and let me get emotionally attached again
>Tell her she is cruel for doing that and I am done. This time she broke my trust to boot. Things are unrepairable.
>Now I am processing my emotions again. Crying a lot.
Why can't women just be honest? And if they want to be with someone, why do they fuck other people like it is nothing when they get a chance?
Why do women do this?
Sounds like a real snake user. Cut all contact so she doesn't ever try to manipulate you again.
>Told her I can't be with her if she had been with other men. I wouldn't be able to let it go. I would let it poison the relationship if we got back together.
>I cried a lot that night by myself.
>Now I am processing my emotions again. Crying a lot.
You have issues, not her. Grow the fuck up faggot lol.
Women have strong minds and bodies. When they are determined they are powerful critters.
Regardless of the whys Im glad that you got rid of her.
Pay attention to the actions and not the words.
Whatever. I used to supress my emotions and ended up depressed as fuck in my early 20s. Now I just let them out and process them alone. Lets me move on fast and feel healthy, clear, and free of resentment.
>if they want to be with someone
Nothing in her behaviour suggests that she wanted to be with you. You were broken up, so clearly she didn't want a relationship with you, and she fucked other people, so sex with you specifically was not that interesting to her either. She went back to you probably because she was feeling lonely or some shit due to holidays. You deluded yourself thinking it was something more. Have some dignity and common sense and don't waste time on fishy exes. Take this as a learning experience.
Why does it matter so much that she's banged other dudes before? As long as she doesn't when you two are together it shouldn't matter.
Basically what said but a little nicer. You really should let go of that weird complex
It doesnt matter that she banged other dudes. I just wasnt going to get back together again after that.
I view sex as meaningful, bonding, inimate experiences. I know that is taboo in our current culture. Sorry.
She lied so shes trash. Anyone who says otherwise is a cuck
If that is the case why did you have sex with girls other than her?
I didn't during the short breakup. What the fuck? Are you a roastie?
So one of the anwers to the "why do x always y" questions is always going to be "they don't. It's just the ones you opt for."
You were an idiot for trusting her lie.
Gotta trust in a relationship, even if it makes you vulnerable, otherwise there is no point.
If it were as simple as she lied because she loved you then I'd understand, without approving.
But the more likely case is she slept with someone she had on the backburner while you two were together, regretted it (maybe), then went back to you because you were familiar and treated her well and she hadn't separated herself from those feelings far enough yet.
Either way I would say you were in the right to burn that bridge.
But you got back with her anyway lol. You are sending mixed signals here, and it seems like you care more about dating a virgin/girl that only you have fucked than the quality of personality a girl has. You broke up with her for some other reason(s) beyond sex, right?
You aren't telling us the full story.
She lied.
cuck
OP has issues. But that doesnt make it ok for the girl to lie to him.
Let me preface my answers with this. If you break up or have a "break" she will date, she will fuck other men, and in all probability the whole reason for a split was so she could date and fuck other men. The only reason she comes back; the other men fucked and dumped her or they weren't what she believed them to be. Therefore, OP, I don't blame you one bit for wanting nothing more to do with her.
>Why can't women just be honest?
Well user you told her if she had been with someone else you wouldn't take her back. No incentive at all to confess so you can't blame her.
>And if they want to be with someone, why do they fuck other people like it is nothing when they get a chance?
When they are dating and fucking other men they want them not you. You aren't number one, they are, you are an obstacle in her path.
The distressing thing about your situation OP. Everyone of us has dealt with the same thing. Every relationship, at least once, the female has stepped outside the pair bond. Sometimes they hide it and cheat and sometimes they use a break up.
My ex gf did the same. She used to talk with me about her new boyfriends and ask me for advice in her new relationships after I had fucked her hahaha. We had broke up but she still wanted to be with me and having new boyfriends in another city at the same time hahaha. Many women are just dumb, don't have any sense of honor and are just trash. Be aware of that of a women will ruin your life.
Well, if someone loves you/cares enough to get back together with you they won't go on to bang a bunch of people. That is something you do where there are no feelings left. She's a cunt for leading him on and pretending that she actually cares about their relationship.
It's like those people that pretend cheating on someone is justified because they weren't always there while Chad/Stacy was.
not the user you responded to but why did you break up in the first place and if it was a reason bad enough to break up over why in hell would you get back together?
>I ended things for good.
>She told me she didn't actually sleep with anyone, only dating and nothing serious. Wants us to spend Christmas and New Years Eve together with her family.
>I agree because she wasn't intimate with anyone
You're a dumbass.
>pretending that she actually cares about their relationship
But they all do and we know it unless it is our gf doing the fucking around. We become stupid and blind and as in OP's case we know they are lying deep down but want to believe the lie so we do.
Bottom line. Women have crushes on men constantly and act on those crushes and it doesn't matter if they already have a partner or not. They have an uncanny ability to compartmentalize. They can have sex with a guy and the next hour give a heart felt plea to resume a relationship with another. They can fuck all week a coworker on a business trip, come home and have a romantic anniversary weekend with their spouse.
>You deluded yourself thinking it was something more
You put your finger right on the issue.
I don't blame you OP except you had to know deep down she fucked those guys.
If she was unwilling to work on your relationship to thwart a break up, why in the world did you believe she changed her mind and loves you enough to work on it after dating (and fucking) other men? Now thats stupid.
They broke up, was she supposed to just wait for them to get back together, even though that may have never happened?
Y'all got some weird ideas about how relationships work
Couples get back together all the time. If she wanted that opportunity, its not had to not fuck people for a bit.
>was she supposed to just wait for them to get back together
No. She was never supposed to try and get back together period is my point, because it's obvious she has no feelings left for him, or at least not enough to still be in a relationship.
If say after a month she realized she had no real desire to fuck someone else or tried to date and get over it but still felt something, because the underlying feelings of love, trust and caring was still there, then she should have tried to get back together.
But this was her free pass chance to get some new dick!
A month isn't long to wait before dating and fucking multiple men. If thats how relationships work I want no part.
And she took it but in all likelihood the lure of new dick caused the break up in the first place.
If she wants new dick occasionally, no problem, but she should remain single.
OP's first issue is that he likely has a virgin complex despite not being a virgin himself, the second is that this story is fishy just because he didn't say why they broke up the first time.
If fucking another guy while they weren't even dating was enough to break them up a second time then he obviously didn't really love her in the first place or wanted to make it work, he just wanted to start fucking her again as his selfish little toy lol. Everything else about "trust" is a fat load of shite to hide his insecurity problems because it wasn't cheating yet he's treating it like it is.
If you're not OP then bug off, otherwise you're gonna have to be more specific than that.
He is allowed to have expectations for whoever he wants to date. If they don't meet those expectations be has a right to not date them. If they don't want to meet those expectations they don't have to date him. If they lie about meeting the expectations they're wrong he isn't.
Stop bullying people and trying to act like you're a Chad.on Jow Forums to make yourself feel better about yourself.
If she loved him in the first place she wouldn't have started dating other guys and fucking them immediately after the split and you ignore her selfishness in wanting her "boyfriend" around during Christmas and New Years with HER family. How convenient
All I see here is more faggot tears about muh soiled virgin gf. OP would probably shoot himself if he actually got cheated on.
>Women should be able to take every handsome dick in the world and still have bfs.
>I'm a shut-in and I don't get that men and women often cope with a breakup by immediately looking for other people.
>I also don't understand that sometimes you don't appreciate something until it's gone.
>it is, in fact, a coincidence that xmas and nye are right next to each other
it's ok to be a little retarded buddy but you gotta wise up. op is just straight up autistic and you are too if you really buy this "but it's not ~real love~ unless only my dick has ever touched her" bullshit.
>you believe she fucked every guy because you want to project that even though neither you nor OP can prove it, because it gives you more to BAWWW about
>Men and women often cope with a breakup by immediately looking for other people.
No mature adult does this, because it doesn't work. A breakup is a real loss, and requires real greiving before you can move on.
And again, OP said absolutely nothing about how long they dated or what caused them to break up. Hard to gauge if the loss was actually worth anything at all.
For roasties, it never feels like a loss because they have a cold, black heart.
Exactly. When I broke up with my girlfriend and was like almost a year or more without even trying anything with a girl because I just didn't felt good doing it so early and I still see her in every woman that I tried to talk.
But in her case she even had boyfriends when we were still dating just to fuck, in the final part of the relationship.
Many women don't know how to be alone so they get betas to be their boyfriends just to be with them and not be alone.
Lol I'm married and am only offering advice.thanks for posting a picture though. Does your mom know you have her camera in the basement?
This is why you never do 'breaks' in relationships. Your girlfriend asking you for a temporary 'break' is just a nice way of her asking you: ''i want to be single for a month or two so i'm allowed to have sex with other dudes to see if i can get an upgrade over you. If i fail to upgrade to a more attractive guy/girl i will come back to you because you'll be waiting for me :>''. Agreeing to a temporary break is basically giving your girlfriend a free pass to cuck you.
You're an idiot but I don't believe for a minute you believe your own argument. Nothing here said anything about a virgin, including from OP. It is natural to question how easy it is to date and be intimate with other men so soon and beg OP to get back together and profess her love for him. Is she really sincere about her feelings for him. It appears at best she is confused about them.
Calling people a virgin shut in is not an argument when it doesn't apply. I do understand the concept of not appreciating something fully until its gone but in some situations a do over isn't guaranteed nor deserved.
I don't know if OP's ex has a cold black heart but she does believe OP a fool.
I think you found your answer op. She lies because you break up with her. You are too senstive by the fact your relationship wasnt pure or soemthing.
Why do you expect her to go through the same process as you do? You are two seperate people with seperate lives. You expect too much from your partner and when she cant live up to your standards honestly she lies.
If she came back to you isnt that something to be happy with, that she chose you in the end? If you want your girl to be so pure then i got news for you, they dont exist.
>why don't express their emotions more?
>(expresses emotions)
>You have issues
>she chose you in the end
What a big pile of steaming shit
Lets see, she commits, then she isn't for a month but now she wants him to believe she's committed to him for real this time and that is something OP should be happy about? So, I guess this could happen again and again and again and each time OP should be overjoyed she came back?
It's (at least IMO) not that she did anything wrong apart from lying, just that OP had a dealbreaker for them getting back together, and that's it. Whether you agree with it or think hes a retard, it's his prerogative.
He has a right to have whatever expectations he wants of his partner as long as it has been communicated you spineless piece of shit.
In this case it clearly was communicated and the irresponsible whore went even as far as lying which resulted in him wasting his time and getting emotionally damaged.
Turns out nobody wants to hear man's problems. Those aren't so simple as woman's.