Why can’t they just say no instead of leaving you hanging

Why can’t they just say no instead of leaving you hanging..

Attached: EACC2D59-4C3E-496E-B2A7-C1F9BA3FDC32.jpg (750x1334, 262K)

Because nobody is rolling dubs on /b/

Underrated

Because she wants you to feel anxiety... weakling.
If she doesnt respond, dont text her back for awhile, or at all

Because you didn't ask a question. Question marks are important.

Dunno, that's why I stopped trying to talk to women.
Though lately I've had tons of girl initiate conversation only to ignore my response after a few messages.
It's like they want me to remember my place.

Because you weren't direct, dont say things like "we should hang out sometime" or "I'll be in X place, maybe you should come if you can make it". Ask her to go out with you

retard

>waits for the inevitable 11:48pm text of “Heyyy sorry I was busy at work lol and then I had to go buy something. I can’t today but I definetaly will next time ;)”

Because saying no is impolite. So its easier for her to pretend she didn't see it.

LMAOOOO this is 100 fax. OP if she does this, don’t even respond.

Lol it’s exactly what I’m expecting. I had low expectations when I sent the text in the first place, but it’s still annoying as fuck.

She didn't say no because she doesnt want to look mean, that's it. They think ghosting is better because its mean to say no. Don't overthink it and move on, fuck her for ghosting you, if she ever text you days later it's up to you what to do.

Yeah because it's better to be polite than leaving a man feeling anxious right?

Please for the love of god women don't play these games with men. You complain men don't take you seriously or just want sex but you like to play these cat and mouse games, just politely say no and that's it. I'm a guy that will understand if a woman isn't interested in me. I won't even make a move unless she gives me reason to and I happen to be looking to ask someone compatible out.

Holy shit this is so ignorant I use to see my ex's politely reject guys all the time and they would call them bitches, cunt, whores, just a tease because she said hi to them at work or something. There are just as oblivious delusional idiotic guys as there is girls. It sucks throwing yourself out there and getting no response but it's gonna happen and it won't feel good

Well that I understand but this girl has told me numerous time to “not be a stranger”. Never tried to make plans with her before to avoid this happening, thought things would be different now but I guess that isn’t the case

I feel you.

I wholeheartedly agree BUT not responding at all is an asshole move, period. The least you can do is make up some excuse as to why you can't go.

OP here, officially passed 6pm and no response yet. Guess I need to stop giving these females the benefit of the doubt and my time completely. Not gonna let this ruin my day at all though still feeling good, gonna have a fun night with my boys regardless!

That's just a colloquial farewell you shithead it doesn't mean anything.
Fuck autism. Either cure it or kill everyone carrying the genes.

because you asked in a beta way

instead of saying "maybe we can grab a cofee" you should have said "i'll buy you a coffee"

Hey, at least you can do something else and forget about it, I had a girl who literally couldn't say "no" she'd always agree to go on dates with me but would cancel at the last minute everytime, so I was always left with nothing to do except call my mates and hope they weren't busy that night.

I disagree man. She was displaying many signs of interest. Doesn't really matter at this point anyway

>It's like they want me to remember my place.
Made me chuckle. I have had that happen so many times in my early 20s, now I'm intentionally the one that ignores them after replying once or twice to avoid it happening again.

Girls would often string me along from dating sites, putting off dates for the next week then the next week, then suddenly a month later they'd get a boyfriend. I remember having anxiety, feeling my stomach churning, looking at my phone every 10 minutes in the afternoon. Hearing beeps in my head, thinking I received a message, rushing towards my phone only to see no contacted me. Putting my phone in the drawer so I wouldn't look at it, only to succumb a half hour later. Date is at 6, but no response and it's 5:45. 6 rolls out and I'm pacing back and forth thinking it's not going to happen. Feeling sad, rejected, and depressed when no response. Could barely sleep, looking over my text messages seeing if I might have said something wrong to deserve this. The positive feelings and relief rushing through my body when they would message me the next day apologizing, with a faint promise of meeting real soon. And this would repeat again and again with different girls. And they were the one that messaged me first. I didn't get it. I still don't.

Fortunately I've turned into a schizoid from repeated social rejection as a coping mechanism so it doesn't bother me anymore.

Do every guy have to deal with this shit or just retards like you and me ?
Fuck you described my whole thought process so fucking well I feel like I owe you a drink.

Glad I ain’t the only one man sorry to hear that. I’m exactly the same way

Drinks to go around!

user get out of my head

Attached: 1533325671930.png (646x595, 280K)

Took me about 5 months talking to a chick to get this lesson in social queues. Chick would agree to hang out, only to bail at the last second. Hell, one time I ended up waiting 6 hours because she kept saying "hold on, I'll be free in a X minutes". Didnt eat my first meal that day until 6pm. The final nail in the coffin was when she bagged on our plans right in front of me (literally was standing next to her)

Though I didn't provide enough specifics for her to identify herself, if you're reading this person in question, fuck you.

It barely had any time to be rated, dingus.

NAYRT but
>"pls have coffee with me"
>no i have work
>"*insecure paranoia pops out* FINE YOU LYING WHORE, I KNOW YOU'RE TALKING TO OTHER GUYS"
>but i am getting ready for work
>"WHORE"

>"pls have coffee with me"
>*radio silence, getting ready for work*
>"*accepts radio silence and moves on with his life*"

You don't understand how common this is. Yes, it's rude but if being quiet is better than being accused of lying or other mean shit then it's better to just not reply than say no. Your anxiety over any response isn't as stressful as dealing with someone else's misplaced negativity.

Wow, well maybe I'm just not the kind of guy to accuse women of something just because I was rejected. It hurts but I'd rather get a sorry, I don't think it'll work out than silence and just feel ignored altogether.

I rejected girls in the past, some of them give me hints and I give back hints indicating I'm not available to them while others flat out ask me if I have a girlfriend to which I respond no. If they insist I'll just say something along the lines of you look like you're cool but I don't think we're compatible or I just don't feel it.

Are you me?

Attached: 1546233627045.png (499x513, 283K)

This whole thread was quite an interesting read. iGirl. I have had these things AND WORSE said to me when I simply say, "I'm sorry but I don't think we should be seeing each other anymore" or "sorry, I'm busy."

But I also agree that ghosting or just ignoring the text until it is conveniently "too late" is not the right thing to do either. So if I think the guy has the potential to be the kind of person to respond poorly, I'm gonna save myself the trauma. lol. I think everyone does that.

Lurker here.

I can understand that angle. I think there is also something to be said for girls seeking validation/gathering a harem by getting dates and never following through too.

I'm married now. I don't miss a lot of the games that are played in the dating game. But my experience has also been that most are fairly serious about seeing something turn into a relationship on first date. Not a sure thing, but they are pretty open to a relationship if they agree to a date.

Agreed. there's probably some section of girls livin' LARGE and just keeping guys on the line.

I think its really just a basic human nature thing. Women are also just generally better socialized than men, so they want to interact with everyone a lot more than men.

But seriously, when I was younger, I loved having options in the dating pool. Who wouldn't?

Just wanted to update y’all hahahah

Attached: 7D1B0CD9-BD63-4EE8-9A73-1945BBFA0A46.jpg (750x1243, 266K)

This.

they dumb

Because she doesn’t care for you. You are nothing to her and not even worth a reply. She should be worth the same to you and you should move on and find another bitch

that's rough, buddy

Attached: 1539670112832.jpg (500x693, 75K)

Yikes. Hang in there chief, it'll be all right.

Attached: 1518604589996.png (974x804, 474K)

I’ll be alright adv bros :) live and learn

You didn't actually ask her anything.

>Hey, I'll be in the area tonight and I was thinking about you. I'll be available around 6. Wanna get a coffee with me?

Also, don't invite to her coffee ffs. Pick something else, life isn't a movie.

Really? A normal person would be able to read between the lines ffs

Read between the lines what? That you've never actually asked someone out before? The only alternative is

>have sex with me plz

No one asks to just get coffee. Ask her to hang out first, and if she replies positively, tell her where you'd like to go with her.

I wasn’t asking this girl on a date. I was simply bringing up a possibility to casually grab coffee together. You’re making it seem much more complicated than it really is when it’s not at all. Just give a simple “I can’t today, sorry”

Silence is her answer. Send her a pic of your anus.

How could you let people you barely know affect you to such a degree?

>I was simply bringing up a possibility to casually grab coffee together.

You simply beat around the bush instead of actually saying what you wanted to say.

>Just give a simple “I can’t today, sorry”

Why do you think you deserve a direct answer when you yourself didn't ask a direct question?

>Why can’t they just say
>A normal person would be able to read between the lines ffs

It's okay for you to cover your ass by not spelling out what you mean, but it's not cool if she does the same? A bit of a double standard there, mate

Jesus fucking Christ

>Take a hint
>Stop being a pussy
>Stop making threads 'wahh a girl ignored me I h8 women!!!'

Girls ignore you, people you love die, etc. Life is tough, get over it. Y'all a bunch of snowflakes crying how women ignore you.

This just leads to girls hating you for imposing upon their time.
If she's not interested she's not interested. Changing how you ask it irrelevant, what is relevant is reading the tea leaves for what they are.

The only sign of interest that matters is responding to your messages in a timely manner and asking to hang out with you. A girl who actually likes you will very quickly begin facilitating frequent face to face contact.

You're asking for a girl to be a decent person and not a sneaky bitch?

That's your first mistake.

Ayyyyyy

I'm a girl who does this. I cancel due to anxiety and fear of rejection / knowing the guy will think I'm ugly and boring.

>"pls have coffee with me"
>*radio silence, getting ready for work*
>FUCK YOU STOP IGNORING PEOPLE YOU WHORE
>ANSWER ME YOU WHORE
>BITCH

get over it, if someone's an insecure asshole he's going to show it regardless of the situation.

Come on dude, it's an anonymous imageboard, it's not like we're bothering anyone.
Life sucks, and sometimes it's good to vent a little, wouldn't you agree ?

The world.doesn't owe you anything and women don't owe you anything. you have to not take it personally because you have no idea what it is like to be this particular woman and her life circumstances.

just ask someone else and don't worry about it.

>I'm a girl who does this. I cancel due to anxiety and fear of rejection / knowing the guy will think I'm ugly and boring.
I've heard girls use social anxiety as an excuse, when I started calling them out on this behavior (pointless and a mistake). But then they'd get a boyfriend within a month or disappear off the website a week later. I really don't believe it.

My only theory as to why it kept happening was that someone better looking messaged them, and wanted to keep me around as a backup, or when it came to actually putting on their shoes and getting out of the house, they found something to nitpick about my profile and thinking up an excuse as to why dating me wouldn't work.

In fact, one girl who I went on a date with once kept telling me she was busy with school exams and such, and I was still in my understanding phase. We actually met up 6 weeks later and she told me about all the bad dates she went on in the meantime and how one guy was particularly abusive towards her when she didn't want to have sex yet. This was while I was trying to set up a SECOND date every week and she was texting me every other day. Lies, all of them.

Another user who used to feel the same way. It's the feeling of hope. The hope i'll meet someone who i'll click with. And someone takes this hope away from you in an instant.
It's different when i don't really like the girl, if we don't have things in common, i don't care, but if i sense some sort of cord resonating, i will be hit with that lack of hope.
I've had sex with only one girl from tinder, and it legitimately didn't work out because of circumstances. But it still hurt me.
I started using it because my relationship ended, and i no longer use it.
>august 18th, in 2 days it would have been my and my ex's 2nd anniversary
>single, and mourning over that short fling for months
>about to cry
>suddenly i hear a tinder message notification
>some chick matched and texted me first
>she's great and we hit it off
>make plans to go to a concert
>cancels on me
>SHE'S LITERALLY FRIENDS WITH MY EX ON FB
>absolutely crushed
>lost all hope in tinder
>never text women on tinder again
>piling up 30 matches that i never talked to
>eventually uninstall
Why would you do this, if the dude already swiped right, and talked to you long enough to ask for a date?

>How could you let people you barely know affect you to such a degree?
When you grow up as a polite considerate person and your interactions with your male friends have all been considerate, it is a shock to one's system when you suddenly get ignored, ghosted, or flaked on. That person is supposedly romantically interested in me, and I haven't had many girls interested, so maybe I have done something wrong that I'm not aware of. Their texts and promised dates are like a mirage in the desert. Maybe if I stay around longer and go forward, we will actually meet one day and fall in love.

lol

Sorry that's happened. In my case, it's really not that. I'd love to meet someone, I'm just caught in a vicious situation whereby when it comes to actually meeting up I talk myself out of it, I've had bad experiences so I now just presume anyone I meet will immediately see me as ugly and it'll make me feel worse. I'm not explaining it well.

I don't even speak to people on dating sites anymore because I don't want to let anyone down when if it comes to meeting I can't do it

I'm ashamed of myself for doing it and it just makes me more lonely. I can't speak for other girls, but this is the situation I find myself in.

Talking on a screen is nothing compared with meeting. I give myself a reality check that I am unappealing physically and biologically no one's going to fancy me so there's no point in meeting

I mean this shit kept happening, but that one thing was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Hopelessness is a disgusting feeling.

What a stupid fucking cunt you are.
>people want to talk to you and date you
>"oh no I'm too shy and ugly XD"
Fucking kill yourself. And I hope the next guy you meet will rape you or beat you up.

>definetaly

Attached: 9b6.gif (250x200, 60K)

You can't ghost somebody you haven't had any contact with.
People not wanting to talk to you is not ghosting.
Ghosting is breaking off all communication suddenly and often seemingly without rhyme or reason.

why are you still dwelling on this?
I know it feels like opening a can of coke and then just leaving it on the table, but she basically said no.
Just pretend she answered "Ew no", if it helps, but this girl does not seem interested at all.
Move on.

Thanks. Why not tell guys that, instead of cancelling the date? That you're nervous they won't find you attractive? I would find it endearing, if anything. Had a girl do that before and she was the only one I ended up in a relationship with. Girls can get away with being so open about such insecurities.

Not really dwelling, just enjoy reading some of the other comments here from similar stories. There were many signs (and hints) she was interested, like pic related, which made me feel like she wanted to see me. Guess that wasn’t the case, but I’m all gucci about it no hard feelings

Attached: 4BF9EC3F-2FE9-45E8-882B-36CA60BFFDD3.jpg (740x289, 68K)

It's like that 6th grade behavior where girls professed their love for you to get any response from you and then run away laughing at what a sperg you are.

A girl asked me out through text yesterday, told her we should do it, asked what time and then no fucking response. Who even knows what goes through their heads.

oooof

This,

Especially when women freely vent about anything and everything, I remember that one guy here who had an internet gf who forbade him from hanging out with his friends after 6pm because she wanted to vent her feelings to him for the rest of the evening.

I give them 3 messages. If the third is not the charm, give up and go on with my life.

If they answer and they cancel the first date? 3 chances again, one already lost.

She could also just be at work or with friends

I always get " I have a boyfriend" which sends my bullshit detector to max. I think women are afraid to tell the truth because some men go apeshit.

Men should resort to escorts.

And yet, when WhatsApp tells me that she saw my message, no response. Time to ghost her.

I think 2 is the magic number, 3 is reserved for good friends. You are already stretching at 2, but there might be some extenuating circumstances (though unlikely). Anything past is kidding yourself.

3 as in 3 wishes: I want her to answer, I want us to meet, I want us to be together.

>Get ghosted
>"I'm gonna ghost HER"
That'll show her buddy.

The one I experience is
>I'll let you know

Actually, yes it will. In the past I stopped messaging a couple of girls and one day they contacted me saying they wanted to meet me. I guess they needed my attention?

How it usually works lol

God damn user, you brought back some bad memories. The dating scene is truly fucked and there's no hope for us

This happened to me once. When I tried setting up the meet, she stopped responding again. Dumbass thots

This user gets it. No such thing as social anxiety for women

Next time tell her you found someone.

"Chad" here, these women are using you for validation and won't care much if you quit texting them (which is in itself an incentive to stop). They usually don't realize the implications of their own actions because of their immature nature. Women only act nice to "nice guys" as they approach their early 30's.

Looking back on this, if you are a person with good virtues and a kind heart, find a loyal and kind hearted girl and marry her. Your existence will be less stressful and in the long haul, you'll have already won (family and stability vs partyyyy).
Whores (yes, people that don't show up to an appointment for no reason) aren't worth your time.

>Looking back on this, if you are a person with good virtues and a kind heart, find a loyal and kind hearted girl and marry her

>Chad here

You aren't even trying you larping fag

Attached: A0EED523-6398-4BC8-A033-D82AAC88D206.png (273x185, 8K)

Holy based and checked

Attached: 30AB3F11-917C-470F-8439-F44AC88704DD.gif (245x168, 795K)

>Looking back on this, if you are a person with good virtues and a kind heart, find a loyal and kind hearted girl and marry her.
That's all I've been trying to look for. I barely ever messaged anyone on those sites because they weren't what I was looking for, and my profile was very specific in that I'm looking for the kind, sweet, friendly, homebody type. My early 20s were like I've described. Things did get better. I improved my looks, lost weight, upgraded wardrobe. The more selective and mysterious I became in my profile, the better results I got. Dates happened, girls even brought me gifts to first dates, I just never got a second date.

I haven't bothered talking to women at all in 3 years and now I'm 30. When I was 27, I thought maybe next year, but figured I could still use some improvement. That way I won't have to go through the dating hell of constant rejection. Said the same at 28, 29, and probably will say the same this year.

I just want a 25 year old girl that likes to read, tend to a small garden, has a pet hamster, and doesn't use social media. I'm very familiar with so no way no how will I commit to a 32 year old who wants to settle down and get married within a year.

You are letting this shit affect you too much man.
You are insanely invested in people you don't even really know, and in most cases don't really care about either.
Stuff like Tinder is all trash, it's way to forced of a pretense in most cases, sheer luck in others.