Be me

>Be me
>Mexifuck who got raised in the US
>Be 27 year old man
>flunk out of University because no motivation
>get job as dishwasher during the week
>bus boy on weekends
>been at this for 8 months
>it's a shit job but w/e
>it pays the bill
>get paid under the table
>no motivation to change
>haven't been interested in a girl since I got my heart broken really badly when I was 18
>New girl comes in to work as waitress
>she's on the fat side of chubby
>Guatemalan-Irish-Lebanese mutt
>not traditionally attractive
>most would think her ugly
>but adorable eyes
>cute face
>great all around person on top of that
>flirts with me
>I flirt back
>for the first time in a decade I begin feeling something for a woman beyond sexual attraction
>Ask to get promoted to server since I would make more
>It would allow me to take this woman out
>get denied training or promotion
>no reason given
>w/e I want this girl
>spend next month training myself
>watching YT videos
>teach myself to use POS systems
>learn salsa dancing because I'm going to take her out
>lose weight
>go from size 50 pants to size 42
>ask for waiter position at a different place
>it's a Mexican restaurant
>get position because I'm exceedingly bilingual
>speak english and spanish perfectly
>been training for there for a week
>getting section to myself on monday
>ask girl out
>she's a lesbian
>not even lying to spare my feelings
>her girlfriend comes in that same night


God fucking damnit anons, I can never win and I'm so sick and tired of this crap. I just want someone to care about me as much as I care about them. I don't want to kill myself, I just want to hit the pause button.

Attached: Ruined Mah Day.png (400x392, 141K)

>Pause button

Meditation does this.

Also keep losing weight for yourself, not a girl, and reap the mental, emotional and physical benefits of it.

Sorry about your crush but it'll be okay user.

>>go from size 50 pants to size 42
>>ask for waiter position at a different place
>>it's a Mexican restaurant
>>get position because I'm exceedingly bilingual
>>speak english and spanish perfectly
>>been training for there for a week
>>getting section to myself on monday


YOU SHOULD BE FUCKING PROUD OF YOURSELF OP.

This. user what you have to realize is to be in a relationship means you have to be complete as an individual, don't rely on a girl to fill that empty space. That empty space is part of yourself and her presence won't fill it. We find a partner to have someone to talk to and raise a family with, otherwise we would be dealing with a friend here. Friends can have sexual relationships but be careful if you do this.

I've spent the last 12 weeks jacking off to an overweight guatemalan-irish-lebanese mutt girl and getting to know her and falling for her user. I cannot describe how much I was looking forward to making her squeel at everything I was prepared to do with/to her. After a decades long emotional dry spell.

I don't think think I can walk away from this.

I don't think I can get away from this unscathed.

Btw, can totally relate. I had poetry class and one day I wrote this poem and a girl liked it. I can tell because she tried to talk to me after but then I found out she was not straight, woe is me.

Getting a girl should be the last of your worries right now, get your shit together first then get the girls.

That's not how life works user. You get girls and partners at any stage and it can always work out. Millions of losers have girlfriends who are even bigger losers.

Sure it happens but it's not ideal. Hanging out with losers is just gonna make you more of a loser.

I took 2 shots of tequila before leaving and drove home drunk. I don't want to go into work tomorrow to bus her tables. I don't resent her, I just feel stupid.

Well, not drunk since home is only 5 minutes away, I left immediately after drinking them and it's just 2 shots but, you get the idea. Point is, this got me really down.

Keep losing weight dude, if you think you've improved to her level... improve beyond that. You want someone who cares more about you, than you do them. Make them work for you, be a catch for someone else. Instead of trolling for catfish. Watch Shia Labeouf

Physically most would agree that I'm above her league now desu. I'm 6' 5" and although I'm still "overweight" I have a wide body so the 42" waist is not bad at all. I tuck in a button up shirt, trim my beard tight, and I'm downright hot. As I said, she'd be considered ugly by traditional beauty standards, but I think she's gorgeous and would absolutely rock her world if given the opportunity. My problem has always been that I'm a social spazz. I can't talk for shit. I'm polite, I'm professional, I'm well mannered, but I am not charismatic, suave or smooth by any measure. I cannot hold a conversation by myself and I think the fact that I could talk to her specifically so easily is part of why I crushed on her.

I wanted to sit her in my Cadillac and drive her around to wherever she wanted to be and I'm now finding it difficult again to motivate myself to get up in the morning.

If your looks are killer try some of the apps for a little while. Ask out any many people as you can, within reason. Some will say no, some yes, some will agree to go out and then flake. You hit zero homeruns if you never swing. Too bad on the lesbo though, laugh it off... be friends.

I honestly don't even understand why people continue friendships with people they want but that don't want them. Isn't that the same as acquiescing to be in the friend zone?

Shouldn't I do the opposite and gain distance? Wouldn't seeing her frequently make things worse?

Actually, now that I think about it and remember past experiences. Yes, pursuing a friendship with her is an absolutely horrible idea and nothing good will come from lingering around an unrequited love. Since I cannot simply will my feelings away I think that If things go well at the other restaurant it would be best to quit this job outright.

Being friends with her can lead to her presenting you girls you might be interested in.

Putting all that aside, you should keep on improving yourself just for your own sake

Go user go. You fit your serving keep the momentum keep the gym. Keep on going. Sure you hit a speed bump but your afformentioned Cadillac still has gas.

>Try 2 times in life to get a girl
>WAHHHHHHHHHHHH I CAN NEVER WIN
Quit being such a fucking bitch

Yeah you can. All's you gotta do is walk away from it unscathed.

Sometimes things don't work out. It's not your fault she's a lesbian.

The only things within your control you already controlled.

Oh. There were others before i turned 18. They weren't as memorable though because I didn't get so emotionally invested.