>Should I hit on this bar server? If so how?
I frequent this bar near my house and this really cute server works there (she helps guest find there place in the bar because it's a big bar). I think she's stunning, I want to ask for her number but feel it's inappropriate since she's working. She's not busy mostly & it seems I could just chat her up, should I do it? If so is there another way that's smoother.
do not hit on service industry workers, they do not appreciate it. You are not unique or special. She probably gets hit on multiple times a week, and turning people away is a kind of job.
Dont be that guy.
I shouldn't do it at all then? How about I just keep going and to build a repertoire with her and the place because she already flirts with me as it is. Like it just feel it
I belive that when you want to chat a service industry worker up, it depends on whether she likes you or not instead of you seducing her... She probably gets hit on multiple times on the job by random strangers so just go for it, but try to be interesting instead of going for the usual normie chit chat. She might like the actual you instead of the countless randoms she meets talking about the weather... Of course you have to start with common ass small talk and im just a 22 yr old virgin with no social life and no social skills, but i try to give a measured response from time to time.
Tell me if im wrong, anons...
She has to give you her number.
I know how bad you want to. Trust me I get it. But you two just unfortunately met under the wrong circumstances. Anons said it best, turning down guys on the clock is a job for her.
You COULD do what you want to do anyway and ask for her number but if she says no just be ready to blacklist yourself from that place. Even if you can make light of it and move past it it might be weird for her.
Thanks for the advice anyway, your sort of right because they have to like you first or you'll just got shot down. It's like a point system to me, the more points you get by talking to her the higher chance you'll succeed.
My thoughts exactly, if I do it and don't succeed then it would be awkward after. My friend that works there says servers leave all the time so maybe I should do it even though the odds are against me. Thanks for the advice
>It's like a point system to me, the more points you get by talking to her the higher chance you'll succeed
That’s a bad attitude to have. That’s how guys stay friends with girls for years secretly loving them and hoping that one day they’ll realize they should love the guy back.
Chat to her. Hopefully you can bond over an interest. See what she does in her spare time. If you're alike you can ask her to go to something with you, like a new bar with new cocktails or a music gig or something.
Talk to her about what's happening in your life (not bad fucked up desperate shit obviously), she might tell you what's happening in hers if she's so inclined.
Don't get drunk at the bar. Stay classy. Go with friends on occasion so you don't look like a loner.
Do this over time not all at once. It's a process.
The odds are against you but good luck.
I know, that happened to me in highschool. The point system works because you can't just start from not knowing her (0 points) to a good amount (50 points). The more points the more likely she will be able to hangout with you. I've had girlfriends before, the only time your friend zoned is if you don't flirt with her or make moves
Thanks for this quality advice user. I know the odds are against me like others have said but I feel a chance with her because she's like 19 & I'm 21. Everyone that goes to this bar is well over 25+ I have a question though, how do I start talking to her even though she's working? I don't want to come off as random or werid. I will do it over time I just need to know how to start talking to her. Maybe "do you like to drink" etc ? Idk
It would be best to go at times when the bar isn't too busy. For most bars this is around 3-5pm (after lunch, before dinner) or just before closing (might not be too talkative, she might get annoyed too as she would most likely want to go home, not talking to a customer). But you will know the times of that bar better than I do.
Best time to initiate conversation is during first contact up until the time she has finished making your drink.
You could talk about the drink itself, how/why you like it.
You could ask her to make a recommendation or what drink you should get and ask her why she likes it.
Could do some research on drinks knowledge but don't go blurting out everything to her. Stay classy, and give a little bit of your knowledge every now and then.
If she isn't looking busy (polishing glasses casually, wiping down the bar in no rush), you could ask her a question. Maybe ask her for some advice about something you're thinking about you could compliment her at this point saying she looks like wise or something.
Music is a good one. If there is music at the bar you can talk about it, see if she likes it. If there's TV with something on you can ask her if she likes the show. Could go into more on what you/she likes to watch/listen to.
Thank you for responding, I have a friend that works there and he tells me she's new and only works on the weekends during the evening, so when it's the most busy. I believe him because I've went with friends during the week and she's not there. She's not a bartender but a person that sits you in the bar, so I only have contact when I enter the bar and sure down. (It's a classy bar I know). It's not a busy bar so she usually is at the door waiting for people with the bouncer not doing anything. What should I do? That's good advice about the music and asking a question etc. But it's harder I guess because she's not serving me drinks
I guess I could ask her a question when I'm sitting next to her "do you always work here"? Or is that too lame
-Where does a girl like you frequent?
- i guess this is your favorite place because i always see you here :))
- do you come here often?
Be the guy she wants to change numbers with.
Just ask her how shes doing 1st off, make a inital connection, so she knows "that guy", make banter "that funny guy". Then try to be more serious so u become "that attractive customer"
So it sounds like she's a host. Things have become a bit more difficult. The situation at the restaurant where I work at you only see the host for like 2 minutes the whole time you're there.
If that's the case for you you have to follow 20431211's advice and make a good (and/or funny) first impression every time. And eventually, probably sooner rather than later, tell her how you feel then ask her out.
Or don't tell her how you feel and ask her out, depends how confident you are.
Damn that's really good too, thanks! I'll probably be like "you always work when I come lmao " I'll tip her too so it's not random before talking to her
Yeah that is really good advice the other user gave but the thing is the bar is so big so the first bar is where she is at, I sit right next to her sometimes at the first bar so she's not out of reach! She is a host yeah, the bar doesn't get that busy because it's so big so she's usually not busy.
Oh I forgot to mention that she probably will leave when the spring semester starts, which is in 2 weeks
Well you better get on it quick OP. Good luck.
Shut up roastie
Thanks, I'm going to go today and see. If not this Friday. I live near by & I love going there anyway haha