How come normies are able to find partners without having to change literally everything about themselves...

I think the real difference between anons and normies isn't autism but anxiety. Granted autism will definitely play a major role if you have it but anxiety/depression is what really fucks anons up.

Probably because they don't have boring personalities to most people like you do.

normies are boring, come on

If normies are "boring" but they can get friends and girls, I wonder what you and OP are?

not being boring is not a requirement to "get girls"

It is tho.
Cope with the fact that most girls find you boring. (to them)

No it's not. Girls want guys that are normal and safe. Even when they are "jerks" or "rebels" or whatever they are within the average standards of what's expected in a guy.

And guess what all those guys have in common? They can entertain the woman that you are with.
There are literal billions of women on the planet, if you can't land one woman after many attempts, then it's on you.

I never said it's not on me. Obviously it's on me. The problem is that I can't just go and become a normie. Besides that would go against the infamous "just be yourself" meme advice.

Never said you had to be a normie, just have to not be boring to the women you are trying to seek out. I'm far from a normie, but I can still get the attention of many women because I can actually have meaninigful engagements with them.

They do it by not belonging to the incel cult. Like you do.

How do I not be boring? Do I need to look at normies and copy them or something? They look very boring to me, to be honest. Are you sure you are not a normie?
>they are not incels because they are not incels
Nice advice there

You've way over simplified the experience of getting a girlfriend.
Even for a normies it's hard and rife with failure rejection humiliation rage and disappointment.

The difference is in the face of failure normies move on and try again and autists assume that if it didn't work once it will never work again. So they hide in their rooms and meet no one and wonder why they can't find anyone.

It makes sense if you think about it for a second. Being an incel is a choice. You chose to be an incel. Others didn't. You could choose to stop being an incel and be like the others.

It's only a choice if you mean you can pay a prostitute, or sleep with someone who's extremely ugly. Otherwise no, you can't stop being a incel just as easy as you say it.
If you disagree please explain how to stop being an incel. Otherwise your words have no meaning at all.

They didn't have traumatic childhoods and learned how to socialize properly from a young age

>How do I not be boring

Well Mr Satan trips, it's like this. It's highly highly subjective what boring is. If you're a stamp collector, some girl out there will find that fascinating.
You don't have to "copy others" unless you see someone else doing something that legit interests you. Then yeah go do that.

But the point is to build a life that's something. The only truly truly boring thing is Iif you do absolutely nothing at all. And even then there are girls who once you have them want to be boring ass homebodies.

>Even for a normies it's hard and rife with failure rejection humiliation rage and disappointment.
How come I very often hear normies talk about that girl they are so attracted to and want to ask out, and then they DO ask her out and they don't get rejected? I never heard a normie talk about being rejected.
>well duh, they wouldn't tell you
but they DO tell about the girl they like, before asking her out, so how do they guess that girl won't reject them? I feel like normies simply don't fail at asking a girl out, they don't get rejected. They break up after dating, of course, but they don't get stuck before, they always get that first date.

Stop being a whiny faggot and leave the basement. Get a job, clean yourself up, talk to girls, use dating sites. And there's nothing wrong with going to a prostitute.

Do you even talk to people in real life at all or do you spend all day inside playing vidya?

I don't understand because girls I know are dating guys that really don't do anything and aren't passionate about anything. They are awkward to hang out with, when you talk to those guys they act like they are always bored. I don't get how the girls enjoy hanging out with them.

Because you're being selective in what you're hearing and seeing.
Google confirmation bias. You want to be convinced it's easy for everyone. It's not.

Normies also don't talk about their failures publicly much. They're Egyptian historians that way, so you'll hear their successes more than not.

Leave the basement? I actually do have a job, study, do activities where I meet girls.
I go outside and do social activities. I don't even play videogames.

So firstly now you're acknowledging boring people can do fine.

Secondly you're again way oversimplifying people. There's something about these dudes you don't know passed your very surface observations peppered with your opinions and perspective.

The key to captivating a woman, besides taking proper outward appearance of yourself (you don't have to be Adonis, just don't look like a bum off the street) is to entertain them. Unlike men, women mostly rely on others to entertain them. Most men could just jack off all day and be content. For example, if your type is the mousy bookworm kind of woman, you're gonna catch up on literature and be able to provide a bit of insight into the book, author, subject or whatever.
You also have to understand assertiveness. You have to be assertive, but not aggressive. Be sincere, but don't be a doormat. You can stand up for yourself without literally shouting over everyone too.
You have to also portray yourself in a way that if a girl turns you down, then it doesn't matter. People, especially women, can smell desperation. Of course most of them know you want to get into their pants, but you can't be Sir Reinhardt, the Whitest Knight or Paulie the Creeper either.

This all goes back to the first point, of being able to express yourself and provide valuable insight. If you can't do that, then people are going to find you boring. Also never do something for anothers recognition. Don't get fit because you think it will attract women, do it so you can maintain your health.

I still can't figure out what I'm supposed to do. I guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing because I don't know what I have to change about myself. I mean I have flaws that I need to fix but they are completely unrelated to what I assume is what I need to get a girlfriend.

You will never in your life accurately imagine how a future interaction will go. Think hard about that point.

Thanks for the advice but to be honest I feel like I AM doing all that. Girls at least act like they have fun with me, they just stop liking me when I ask them out. I guess I'm not boyfriend material.
I'm fit but not muscular. I don't act desperate. I don't act mad when I'm rejected. I think I'm in a good middle ground between white knight and the opposite.
I'm outgoing and have no problem talking to strangers. I'm good at being interested in what a girl is interested in.

>I don't act desperate
Gonna disagree here based on what you've posted.

Based on what exactly? And what does desperate mean in this case? Obviously I'm gonna have to ask out a number of girls to at least try to get a date with one.

Go kill yourself, incel. You're beyond help, got it? Leave women alone.

You first, triggered retard.

Normies get normies
Don't be jealous, be sad for them

Change your approach. Try different clothes, a different approach, talk less/more, or even lower your standards a bit.

Thing is getting a GF isn't going to change your life, personality, or habits, either. I mean having a healthy relationship is definitely a plus but it is absolutely not the be-all-end-all. It also requires a fair amount of effort from both parties to work.

Are you able to pick up on signals? That's a good place to start. It's where I started when I was like 18 trying to get it in. When you're hanging out with a girl, is she flipping her hair, smiling at you, laughing at your dumb jokes, facing you instead of facing away, not seeming like she wants to talk to someone else, etc? You have to be cognizant of these things.

I don't even get rejected very often anymore because I play it really safe and only ask girls out who are obviously interested in me. That's a terrible strategy, you should be asking more girls out, but the point is learn to pick up on social queues. Also, work on your posture and confidence. I've found that all of my success with women can be attributed to confidence.

Shoulders back, maintain eye contact, don't have body language that indicates you're submissive or deferring to them... When you act this confident, girls tend to pick up on that. I'm not saying be a ripped chad, I'm just saying live your life, get comfortable with who you are, and fix your body language and get better at picking up on social queues.

>being a white knight will finally get me laid!

Don't try to gauge a girl's interest by looking for "signals". You will get it wrong because you will see what you want to see.

>That's a big "except" since work and education can get you to a lot of places where you meet new people and increase the chances of finding a partner.
I don't know about that user. I have a degree and a good job but still no gf. There has to be something else about normies that enables them to get a gf.

Attached: 1507150280382.jpg (580x582, 68K)

I guess I could try changing my clothes.
I don't really agree with the last part because, despite what personal meaning it could have for me, being in a relatiionship is generally considered one of the default highest goals of being a human. People who don't are those who already were in a relationship and assume it's just so mundane that it doesn't matter. But not getting a relationship is on a basic level, like not getting a job.

i want to be a normie.... they seem to be so happy and troubleless. i wanna make them fit and strong, but i don't know how. i wanna lead a fitness revolution across america.

I'm a woman.

Sounds like good advice, thanks

Yeah that's my problem now, I kinda wait until a girl makes it pretty obvious that she's into me these days. Like, some girls make it *very* obvious. My last girl I was hanging out with in a group of friends, she brought a guy out with us, and she literally pulled me aside and was like "I'm gonna get this guy to get us drinks lmao" and proceeded to do so.

Another girl I was with would randomly re-start conversations with me, play with her hair, look down and smile, etc, and then I just took some risks to test the waters like touching her leg a little, saying she's cute, etc. I never *really* know, but then I end up just getting their number and asking them out. That's the real test, just gotta see if they'll go out with them, then try to kiss them at some point.

So far this has worked but yeah there's definitely a lot of girls who don't even show interest who are interested and a lot of girls who are just flirts, but hey.

All you need to do is just stand there and choose what dick to suck next.

Kill yourself, roleplaying faggot.

pic related

Attached: imps.png (453x477, 57K)

>work, school
False, girls have no problem dating guys that don't study and have no job. A job and a career don't get you a gf.

This is not how logic works, fren.
Study moar.

What does logic have to do with this? Please explain. It's not a problem based on logic but on social studies.

Just being in a relationship period definitely isn't that impressive and I honestly wouldn't put it on a huge pedestal.

Being in a longtime-relationship and being married is significant, sure, but don't put the cart before the horse. Going on a few dates with the girl, hanging out, getting pussy, and having fun should be the only things you plan on this early with any girl.

social skills and a less damaged personality

No, normies get friends because they are extremely boring and all have the same interests. They can only enjoy things if everybody else does.

Lmao it's funny how delusional you are. I'm not even an incel and can tell you have been spoonfed everything in your life.

You are obviously a basement-dwelling virgin NEET. You don't know shit about how the world works.

>t. Triggered normie who cant comprehend someone having different life experiences than him

Yes but it is impressive to someone who could never get a relationship. It feels like failing at something basic and fundamental. Like failing to complete middle school.
>less damaged personality
damn it

You don't have to "entertain" women ime, most of the girls I take out, I just ask them about themselves and they do most of the talking. They do expect me to lead, which is easy. We're at a bar having a few drinks, "wanna go find a place to play pool" >> google maps, pool places, go play some pool or take that bitch bowling. Next thing you know I'm necking her in the car.

Guys who try too hard to entertain or make a girl have a good time are missing the point and don't always have good outcomes in these situations. Stop thinking of women as alien things you have to appease or some bullshit. Just have a fun time, learn about them because you should WANT to learn about them if you're dating them, let them talk as much as they want and soak it up, then go for a kiss at the end of the date.

If you're not even getting dates then work on getting dates lol. Ask girls out, engage them in conversation and ask them about themselves and shit. Figure out what works and what doesn't, what feels awkward and what doesn't. You don't have to be a fucking class clown type dude to get laid lmao what.

What are some questions you typical ask when meeting a girl for the first time?

I guess some people like me are simply unable to learn how to do that. I feel like some other guy can do the exact same thing as me and he will have different results.

I'm not even that good at it. It doesn't even matter what you get the conversation rolling with, you just gotta find that thing that gets her on a roll. Like, "you go to school?", "do you work?", then if they go to school, you want to slowly get into more personal territory in the follow up questions. "Why did you choose to go to school for that?", "did you always want to do that?"

The goal with that is to just get into more emotional territory so she feels like you're getting to know the real her. I still struggle with continually asking surface questions that doesn't get into the "why" and the feelings behind why a girl is living the way she is, which means it's harder for her to feel like I really know her or want to know her.

The other trick is, girls are good at conversations (some of them are anyway). If it feels like I'm pulling teeth the whole date she's probably not putting in as much interest / effort as I am and isn't as into it, so I probably won't go back out with her. But what girls who are good at conversation do, is they slip little things in when you ask them a question that allows you to ask them about the thing they slipped in.

Example:
"yeah I go to school for music"
"What made you choose music?"
>> Dives into why she likes music, maybe mentions something related along the way
>> I pick up on the related thing she said and comment on it.

Also a lot of guys fall into this thing where they're just "interviewing" the girl. Sometimes you have to give her room to ask about you, and make your own contributions to the conversation, but in general I don't talk about myself too much. Most guys will try to impress a girl by talking about themselves the whole time. That never goes over well.

this implies theres a woman that is willing to go out on a date with me.

I still fail to see how asking a girl questions eventually leads to getting physical.

>girls have no problem dating guys that don't study and have no job
>therefore, what you're trying to say is false
This is logic, that you (incorrectly) used when writing your post.

I cannot hold a meaningful argument with someone who can come up with baseless, illogical claims on a whim to refute whatever point I'm making.
Sorry.

Explain your point if you are so smart. Saying "i can not hold an argument with you" doesn't really make you inteligent, I could say the same about you.
Your graph btw has no source, it's just an asspull.

Honestly man, get a therapist. You're really going to have to change how you look at yourself first, that level of self hate is likely why girls aren't showing interest.

2 years ago I had a girl over, we were doing cocaine, she was making it fairly obvious she wanted to fuck (she was a promiscuous person), we had known each other and been hanging out for a while... I didn't make a move. She fucked my close friend.

Moral of the story, make a move. At the end of the date, go in for a kiss. If she likes you, she'll let you, if she doesn't, she'll politely turn away. It's fine. It sucks, but it's fine. You just gotta take that risk mang. It's terrifying. I did sleep with a prostitute to get more comfortable desu when I was a virgin before starting dating, though. Helped a bit.

Sometimes when I'm just hanging out with a girl I'll like touch my leg against hers while we're talking and see if she pulls away. When I first meet a girl I'll go for the hand shake to get the touch barrier out of the way. Some girls will even touch you first, like a playful slap on the chest or keep bumping their leg into yours. That's an invitation to touch them more. Just don't get too aggressive. If they pull away don't take it as a rejection right away, just a temporary road block. They need to know you'll stop if they want you to or they won't feel safe.

But yeah, at the end of the first or second date, you pretty much have to just go for it or risk getting strung along and friendzoned ime.

you can work on repairing your personality. if you take things personally all the time or scream at people, just random things I can think of, then try to cut back on it. it’s really nothing to pity yourself over. self-pity is actually one of the personality problems.

if thing bad, dont do. if thing good, do. ez.

I keep reaching the conclusion that it all comes down to this when you are a guy:
Just do your thing, forget about girls. Eventually a girl will show up (or never and you can't do anything about it), she will show interest in wanting to fuck you, you fuck her, and that's it. No sense in chasing girls, no sense in trying to get to know a girl, all that matters is what the girl chooses so all you can do is wait.

I dont think a therapist could help me. He would probably laugh about my problems.
also your advice cant really help someone who cant get dates. you imply that everybody is able to get 10 dates a week with girls.

It's hard when women act like they enjoy hanging out with me but don't want to go on a date when I ask them. Idk what part of my personality is wrong. I do have a job and a car so that part is covered too.

I don't get 10 dates a week lol. I've been studying for a new job and haven't been on a date in like a month and a half. A therapist isn't going to laugh at you. What you're doing is coming up with reasons why you can't get out of the place you're in. Thing is, in a year, you'll still be in the same place if you don't proactively try to get out of it. Your move.

Yeah I mean, this is an okay strategy for me right now because I already have a little experience so I know I can pull it off when someone comes along and shows interest. You *can* be more proactive to greatly increase your chances, though. It comes down to trying to put yourself into a bigger social circle (join clubs, get out more, make friends, meet more girls, ask more girls out). That's what you should be doing if you don't have experience, that way when someone does come along you'll have the confidence and tools to act on it.

Ah! Now you know how your own poison tastes like. Being dismissed without any meaningful argument.
Not nice, is it?

Of course that pic is an asspull, just as a written text saying the same thing would be.
I only made it in a form of graph so it was easier to understand.

Hopefully you'll be less inclined to dismiss my point on the spot this time, so I'll try to explain it in writing.
"Normies" whom do social activities (as observed by your initial post, assuming you're OP) such as: work, education, eating out and complaining about being fat, "find love".
Continuing your observations, activities such as: playing musical instruments, taking courses, learning languages and working out, seem to negatively affect peoples' chances of finding a partner.

All I did, was find the connection between the two groups of activities - one is generally social while the other is mostly solitary - and point out the obvious:
That people doing the former are subject to a vastly higher number of potentially relationship-forming situations, including, but not limited to, meeting more singles.

>tl;dr
You answered your own question in the OP; "normies" are able to find partners without much effort, because they participate in so many social activities that the odds of them NOT finding anyone are extremely slim.

It sounds like there are a lot of small things wrong with your personality, maybe stemming from one big thing like insecurity. For instance, let’s break down the set of thoughts you just shared.

>It's hard
What is your point? Existence is hard. Are you ready to make a change, or what?

>when women
This might be overly stereotyped. The statement you’re about to make most likely doesn’t apply to all women you know, and it certaintly doesn’t apply to all women you have the potential to meet.

>act like they enjoy hanging out with me
Maybe this statement is a way of saying you don’t think women like to be around you. Maybe some women really are just humoring you. I’ll give you that. That being said, this sounds charged with a little bit of paranoia.

People hang out with each other sometimes. Sometimes we enjoy it and sometimes we don’t. It’s not likely that a large percentage of people are going to say, “Jeez, I have to pretend I like hanging out with this guy.” Most commonly, people will just not hang out with you, and will make no effort to pretend. That doesn’t mean to stereotype every time a person doesn’t want to hang out with you as evidence that they don’t like you. People have their own limitations, desires, and needs, most of which have nothing to do with you.

>but don't want to go on a date when I ask them.
The goal is to find a woman who has a “crush” on you, “fancies you,” or whatever. Ideally, you ask out a woman who would be very happy (maybe hesitant due to nerves or whatever) to be with you. There’s no point in pressuring women who aren’t remotely interested into giving you a chance.

Heck, sometimes the best thing to do is peacock a little bit, socialize with others, and wait for one of the girls to say she likes you.

>Idk what part of my personality is wrong.
I don’t know. Maybe the same things that are wrong with a lot of people’s personalities. A tendecny to overcomplicate things, insecurity...

So much text and you are missing my point: job and school are not social activities. That's what's wrong in your graph. That's all I'm saying.

When I said it's hard I meant it's impossible, not "hard" in the sense of "i can work through it".
I'm just talking of course about the women I know, I haven't met every woman in the world. I say they "act" because I would definitely assume they genuinely like being with me but then they refuse to go out with me so I guess they were just acting?
The last girl I asked out I was 100% sure she liked me (complimented me, laughed at my jokes, took pics with me, wanted to do activities with me) but also rejected me when I asked her out.

>job and school are not social activities
They generally are. Especially for "normies".

But let's take a closer look. Maybe there's valuable information hiding here.
Why do you personally consider work and school to not be social activities?

Because everyone is supposed to go to work and school and because you don't necessarily meet people beyond a surface level there. Some people don't interact in work and school because they are actually social in other social places like clubs, bars, sports, etc.
And because having a job is not at all a requirement to get a girl. Having a career or going to college is not a requirement at all either.

I'm probably a normie, but I think the anawer is lack of angst. Lack of anger, resentment. Normies are more stoic, less afraid of a normal relationship. Non-normies dream of some weird arrangement, and are usually angry when they don't get it.

This actually sounds a lot like how I feel. Girls I've dated have been extremely unsatisfying because I'm trying to find someone on par with the girl I was attracted to when I was 18. It's disappointing how unremarkable most women are.

Are there any step for step guides for autists on how to date? How do i ask out someone step for step? a guide for dummies. pls help

PS, i have a non-normie friend who keeps talking how women are whores, he reads a lot of guru books, and keeps lecturing on how there are 2-3 types of women. He is having trouble with relationships, he has no gf, or comes by damaged, fucked up women. We talked for tens of hours on this topic. In the end, we agreed that the problem is that he is the opposite of a stoic. His demands are too high, he hates going out of his comfort zone, and he wants too much. I know it will sound ridiculous, but his thinking changed a lot when he read some books by stoics, like Marcus Aurelius (Meditations)

You think that if a girl likes being around you she ought to want to date you?

I made the post above yours. I'm a high functioning autist and actually getting a date isn't that hard if you're willing to be social. First you have to work at being the best version of yourself you can be; exercise, become more intelligent, and work on your confidence. You have to be able to say things that are whitty and make girls laugh, being funny is almost universally attractive to girls. You need to make a connection with a girl who shares a mutual interest, and she'll find you attractive if you show aptitude at that mutual interest. Also, whenever feasible, work at getting a good paying job (this part will take years of hard work and dedication) and prove you can be self-sufficient. Also don't forget that hygiene counts, always take time to bathe/shave every day.

My problem is, even when I get dates, they don't live up to the level of attraction I felt towards someone I knew once, and I quickly start to resent them for it. But if you don't have that problem then you should be good to go.

>opposite of a stoic
incel opposite of stocism

I think my second post (the one starting with PS) well describes the problem. You sound a lot like my friend. He is also more into flirting than the sex or relationship itself. I think it is more of an ego/self-worth issue.

Yes? Shouldn't I?

what are some funny things to say to girls? im finnish so the joke might be lost if i have to translate it from english to swedish or finnish

>Because everyone is supposed to go to work and school
Exactly. So people tend to have the "I'm here anyway, let's make the most of my time here" mentality.
For some it makes them tunnel-vision on the job. For most, however, it makes them socialize and make themselves comfy at work, among coworkers.

>because you don't necessarily meet people beyond a surface level there
No, this is a choice. You can run on absolute minimum social interaction or not.
Since OP focus is on "normies", it is worth noting that "normies" do socialize extensively both at work and at school.

>Some people don't interact in work and school because they are actually social in other social places
Yup. See how quickly you confirm that socializing at work/school is actually a choice?

>having a job is not at all a requirement to get a girl
>Having a career or going to college is not a requirement at all either
While true, both of these are completely unrelated to the point at hand. (nobody claimed otherwise)

So what did we learn? I'm gonna take a gamble and say you seem to be a social outcast at work/school.
Which is fine. It's not a negative thing, just another valid choice for life.

However, it comes with a package that you always have to keep in mind:
Things like general dislike for social activities, avoidance of social situations, etc.

What comes to "normies" effortlessly - socialization, requires effort on your part.
But this too, is fine, right? You don't mind putting the extra effort in for the right person?

It's no use crying over how hard it is for you.
Yes, it undeniably *IS* easier for others, but so what?
Does it make it not worth it? Hell no!

Life's unfair on so many different level this doesn't begin to scratch the surface. Yet people from all walks of life get to experience happiness.
It's certainly doable for you, too.

I see. Well I wish him the best, but he seems to have a different problem. I don't think women are whores (well, some are), I think they're unremarkable. And I am more interested in falling in love than I am sex, but I can't fall in love with most women because most do things that I find unattractive.

No, especially not if you’re talking about marriage and everything. Romantic attraction is very different than just chilling with someone.

also the cirteria for “guy id get lunch with and shoot the breeze with” are much lower than “guy id want to have a relationship with”, obviously.