How should I approach this

If you ask someone out specifically with those words you're basically letting them know you like them in that way.
What is the difference between letting a person know you like them and confessing?

It's not weakness to ask someone out. It's weakness to try to hide that you like her. Why are you so afraid to show some interest? It's not like you're fully confessing to being in love or anything. You're potentially interested in seeing her and you're trying that out. That's all.

From reading this thread what you should do is 100% clear. Ask her out normally. "Hey x, (I'd like to get to know you better), do you want to y at time z?"

Showing interest is what I'm already doing, I mean, I added her on social media out of nowhere without even talking to her at all, I'm talking to her and I'm always the one changing the subject from school to more casual stuff. Can't I take a break?
Even this is nerve wrecking for me can't I do this last step slow and with her help?
If I ask and she rejects I will be broken and discouraged from ever trying something similar ever again. I wouldn't even be able to text with her anymore. I don't want that to happen.

> can't I do this last step slow and with her help?
If you want to get from talking to meeting there's not much else you can do. Perhaps if you have some shared interest you can use that to make it more about the interest and less about wanting to see her, but it's always going to be quite transparent what your real intentions are. That's just a hard truth you have to accept about getting from here to point B, or do you have a better idea? I'm not against the "speech" necessarily by the way, I just wouldn't say that it's awkward (I'm not the same guy as )

> If I ask and she rejects I will be broken and discouraged from ever trying something similar ever again. I wouldn't even be able to text with her anymore. I don't want that to happen.
I don't think you would be broken and discouraged. I think you'd find out that you can deal with the consequences and it's not such a big deal, after a week or 2.
I'm not gonna say that you'll still be able to text though that's possible. Here's the thing: You have to be willing to sacrifice the texting, friendly relationship for the dating, romantic relationship, or you won't get there. Any move you make towards the relationship you desire has the potential to destroy the relationship you have.

> Do I man up and go with the plan?
> Should I prepare myself for a rejection?
Yes, though if the conversation with her is not one-sided then I think there's a good chance she'll go out with you.

Finding that interest is hard man.. How long do I have before she starts losing interest, that is if she even has any, we've been talking on and off for 2+ months. How much time do I have left? Maybe I could try talking about movies and cinema or something but that's about it.

I think I would be extremely discouraged.
It's a school setting, there are people we mutually now and then, you know, girls like to gossip and then it goes around and suddenly everyone knows about it. If there was not a possibility of that I would try it probably.
>I'm not gonna say that you'll still be able to text though that's possible. Here's the thing: You have to be willing to sacrifice the texting, friendly relationship for the dating, romantic relationship, or you won't get there. Any move you make towards the relationship you desire has the potential to destroy the relationship you have.
That's just depressing man, I don't want that at all. Why is this so fucking hard.. I should've learned all of this at like 13 not now.

The conversation is not one sided at all, it's mutual and I think we write equally ( all though she does end the conversation a bit abruptly sometimes )

And now I've spent too much time writing this reply and you probably left.

Jesus dude it’s not rocket science. If you like her, ask her out. The more you put it off, the less interested she will be in you because you were too much of a pussy to show any romantic interest in her.
>now I’ve spent too much time writing this reply and you probably left.
You really need to learn to be more assertive. You can’t even show confidence in your own reply.

- ask her out bluntly and risk, with a not so low possibility, losing your friendship.

- ask her secretly and subtle so you can see where it leads once us 2 are alone.

That's literally the simplest way I can put it.

Nah I haven't left,
I've just recently started dating at 22, so you're doing fine.

In any case, I just said the thing about a shared interest as the one exception to the rule, but like I said it's hardly an improvement and I do not advise you to start looking for one, but to just do it with what you have.

The thing about not being able to text anymore is somewhat of a worst case scenario. If you've become somewhat close friends then maybe you can keep going. Though I wonder if you'd even want that if she were to make clear she isn't interested in you.

If the conversation is kind of 50/50 then, though I can't promise anything of course, I'd think that perhaps she's interested in you as well. Either she's hoping you make a move, or she finds you fun to talk to, or she wouldn't be doing it, right?

By the way I don't think it's that bad when you're in a school setting, especially if you're not in one fixed group. I used to have this fear as well, and now I just regret not having made certain moves because of it. I'm in university myself and recently asked a girl out, and had one date after which she sadly wasn't interested anymore. Some of my friends know I dated her, one kind of knows her or at least sees her regularly, and we'll remain in the same uni for a year or two. Guess what? Nobody fucking cared. My life is just as before that. People date, people fall in love, people have crushes and infatuations. That's normal, it's not shameful. Only small kids and people behaving like them actually make fun of each other for it.

You should probably get used to it. Chances are you're going to have to ask out a lot of girls in your life, and some of them will be in your class, or a colleague of you, or someone you barely know, or someone all of your friends know, or whatever. There's never a perfect case. To not become a loser all you have to do is accept this and ask her out anyway.

>ask her secretly and subtle so you can see where it leads once us 2 are alone.
Mate you are so afraid of rejection from a girl you don’t even talk to irl, I can’t see you somehow getting the courage to make a move on her in person.

We're not so close... basically every conversation of ours starts with one asking the other about school stuff and then me slowly changing the subject to something casual so we can continue talking, that's all there is to it. I doubt that's enough to keep going and I doubt I would be able to myself.

I'd say it's 60 / 40 on my part. The biggest indication I have that she's into me is that she continues asking me stuff even though there are better options even in her own class who she's much closer too, that she's texting at 3AM where it's quite easy to just say "I'm going to sleep" and end it, that she most of the time writes lengthy messages or a lot of messages at once. The thing I have against it is that sometimes she just abruptly ends the conversation with an one line response and that if it weren't for me she wouldn't change the subject and just end it at answering / getting answered the school related question.

I'm kinda in a fixed group, I'm always with the same 3/4 or so friends of mine. It's the kinda thing where she's with her friends I'm with mine and we just pass by each others group sometimes. And that's a really sucky setting to be in.

>You should probably get used to it.
I probably should but I don't know user. Maybe I've just been fed up too many lies and perfect love stories where everything falls in it's place by movies, shows, books and anime.

Trust me, if it were just the 2 of us and we were taking a walk or something or in a cafe I'd try everything in the book from lightly touching her when talking / showing her something to smiling at her and talking about how much I enjoy it.

> I'm kinda in a fixed group, I'm always with the same 3/4 or so friends of mine. It's the kinda thing where she's with her friends I'm with mine and we just pass by each others group sometimes. And that's a really sucky setting to be in.
Seems like a good situation to me. You could've been in the same group of friends and then if things go nowhere you still have to see each other all the time.

But in any case I feel like most of your questions have been answered so I'm just wondering whether you've made your decision? Are you going to ask her out?

We still HAVE to see each other sometime. And if she starts the gossip and it gets around the school I would literally feel destroyed and betrayed.

>I'm just wondering whether you've made your decision? Are you going to ask her out?
I'm definitely going to ask her, direct or my way ( but I'm starting to see the direct way as a better option admittedly ) out but over text.
Should for a normal conversation about school stuff like always that's gonna occur in like a week AT MOST or do I just straight up go for it out of the blue?

> Should for a normal conversation about school stuff like always that's gonna occur in like a week AT MOST or do I just straight up go for it out of the blue?
Your call. It probably doesn't matter.

Oh by the way, if you end up doing it when this thread is still up then please let met know how it went.

me*

I want to wait it out just to not seem really needy, the last text of ours was 2 days ago where she wished me a happy new year and then I did my thing and continued the conversation.

I highly doubt it'll still be up, but we can make like a made up word I can put into title when I make an update with the same image so you can just continue checking the catalog daily and ctrl+f it for the word we make up.

It doesn't matter too much to me because I'm not browsing Jow Forums so often that I'm sure I'll see it but if you happen to make a new thread then go ahead. I'll leave the choice of word to you

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Aight, I'll post the picture you just posted and the for the word I'll just punch the keyboard.

kmhfp is the word, save it somewhere or something if you want to.

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