Is it wrong to be upset with my parents for me becoming an antisocial shut in who lacks empathy and hates the outside...

Not op but...

This might sound immature but I just want my parents to admit that their bad choices made my life much worse then it had to be. I don't expect them to do anything. I just want them to admit it.

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Admitting that you're wrong or you fucked up, particularly with something so massive as your children's upbringing, takes enormous amounts of self-awareness, willpower, maturity and compassion, along with a desire for reconciliation and amendment.

Do you think that your parents have these qualities? And do you think that it's possible that someone who does would manage to fuck it up so badly in the first place? Things to consider.

I would hate you if i was your mother

Yeah. You're exactly right. It's just so frustrating. I can't talk to, for example, my mother without putting on kid gloves. I just don't understand how someone can have 4 kids and not learn (I mean I can but still pisses me off).

That's exactly the problem though brainlet.

Sounds like a child with autism-- and unfortunately some people aren't cut out to raise that

Not even OP.
If you say people shouldn't be (reasonably) critical of their own upbringing so they can raise their own kids better there's only one autist here friend.

Why people on the internet use autism as a catch all for anyone with mental issues?

Imagine being this shit of a person.

Insult me all you want, all I'm saying is some people cannot raise a child with such a condition. Blame them all you want but it's not going to change anything and a critical perspective would recognize that such a condition is difficult for both parent and child alike

It's a problem that's poorly documented and people are largely contested on whether meds are an appropriate response to these problems, especially as parents. And getting information on 'what works for (my) kids?' is either trying it and hoping for your kids, or asking parents-- but that's a minefield in and of itself.

It's ugly but it's true. It's a situation few are prepared for, no matter how much you dislike that

If I had to recommend a path forward then confront parents directly and ask what happened. Because maybe they actually did constantly try to help OP integrate but then, a condition like autism would cause a total disconnect there and that would be a bridge to cross as two adults.

Sorry to have triggered (You)

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Well, first of all you are assuming autism is the root of the issue by guessing. We really don't know what most of these kinds of causes are caused by but lets just assume that a lot of these kids are autistic to some extent. That's not the issue though. Just saying that people are not cut out to raise a kid like that doesn't give them a get out of jail card. When you have a child, you assume responsibility as a parent. Not to mention that there are tests that will tell you if your kid will have issues like that early and abortion is an option in that case. Having a child that has issues and then just throwing your hands up i9n the air is not taking responsibility. Don't have the child if you are not prepared to raise them properly. I don't know where you come from but...This is one of the biggest issues America is facing right now. A fallout left from an entire generation of bad parenting.

>hating your own flesh and blood because of your own inadequate genes

Nice one dude

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Right but here's the caveat bud. If they're that bad at parenting then the damage is done. It's happened. In order to look at the situation and get further next time, we should be looking at how to get the damages controlled. Rather than blaming or being angry with people, find a way to meet in the middle or find closure another way. Blaming them or being angry won't provide anything. Admitting it wasn't your fault- admitting you're worth more than they gave you- taking initiative on making up for the time they lost you. These are all constructive steps.

These people need to be told they can be stronger. Autism doesn't mean they're helpless. They can still take their own life into their hands.
Being badly raised and recognizing that should lead you away from that past, not deeper into it. Your direction should be to constructive approaches to your life and any conditions if you have them.

I had to come to terms (and still do have to have a Big Talk or two) with my parents kinda fucking up and it was basically all of us admitting there wasn't exactly a fucking handbook and this was before the faggy time of available internet. So it sucked.
Dwelling on it was killing me, though. Getting the closure of hearing them admit they didn't really do the situation justice was helpful because I knew it wasn't some self-wrought pit of misery. Since then, I've been making milestones (that other people made years prior but there I am anyway).

No, no, no I fully agree with you. Once the damage is done the child has to just deal with it or lay down and die. From the sound of it you are a smart person because you moved on in life. I never disagreed with moving on and picking yourself up. I just want people that grossly fucked up with their parenting to fess up to it because it has a huge effect on someone else's life. People might say things like "they did the best they could" or "It was very hard for me" but they were under the illusion that society was great and safe and that they could just have kids left and right and that it would "just work out". Truly a product of the time that was previous generations. But this kind of thinking was extremely naive and honestly sickening. So to look at your boomer parents and have them tell you to just figure it out is really insulting considering that they had more opportunity than you do and they still managed to fuck up your upbringing.

Are they your birth parents? If so you can always blame them for giving you shit subhuman genetics that guarantee you to be shit.

Yes it’s wrong. Parents do help shape the people we become, but after a certain point you can’t blame them for you not working on your problems.

I have my mom and my step dad my birth dad left me when I was too young to remember

Well at least we got here in the end! Actual discussion on Jow Forums. Maybe the world's ending. Hell is freezing over.

It comes down to "who are the parents?" Very few types of people would justify the anger but at the same time, if they're really just shite people you're better off distancing yourself and moving on alone, hard as it may be-- it'll be worth it over the long-term.

In reality my opening statement was far more callous than intended but there is a level of difficulty we must accept about certain things. To have made a genuine attempt and to have fucked up does not necessarily warrant anger.

All of use are using Jow Forums so we are already fucked in our life's

I get this

If you refuse to take any personal responsibility for who you are then you can't blame your parents either. All your parents did when raising you was act according to who they were, which they had as little say in as you do.