I just had another breakdown like 20 min's ago, I've always had this terrible social anxiety provlem all my life...

I just had another breakdown like 20 min's ago, I've always had this terrible social anxiety provlem all my life, it doesn't help the fact that I was sheltered as a child, My mother just dropped THE ultimate truth bomb on me about life is passing right by me and I'm doing NOTHING...my next college semester starts in two days and I'm so fucking terrified, why was I given life? why the fuck did this happen to me

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>I've always had this terrible social anxiety provlem all my life,

Try taking meds. They help me.

How old are you? I am in my early 30s and it is very hard to do this without medication or therapy. I'm doing it, because I'm a prideful moron, but it would be so much easier to be a shut in.

See a therapist and explore CBT. If the problems persist/become unbearable explore medication with a psychiatrist. Sounds like you attend college, most schools offer these services/counseling for free. Look into what is available to you. No one will fix your problems for you. At the end of the day you have to make a decision to to change for yourself. Anxiety is an awful condition, but it will only end once you're prepared to do the work to change your life and move on. Good luck user.

I'm 20

Get help now. Any way you can. I wasted an entire decade of good times because it's so much less painful to be a shut in.

Cbd with thc 1:1 ratio makes all the pain melt away

but it's so fucking hard...

I know it. View it like exercise. No one starts at lifting huge weights, you work up to it by pushing yourself a little.

We all know user. A lot of us (probably majority) here have been through what you're going through.

We are all begging you to not follow our path. You have to find support somewhere. I'm 24 and only just barely starting to get a little better, you're already ahead of me in some ways. I've never even been to college.

You can make it user, please find a therapist.

That's fine, you can stay the way you are, too. Just please don't make any more threads about 'missing out' except on Jow Forums, thanks.

Very few things worth doing in life are easy. If you buck up now and work to improve your life, you'll look back and be grateful for it. I'm assuming you're young, which means you are leagues ahead of a lot of us who took years to figure this stuff out. So many people out there are miserable with crippling anxiety and depression. The sooner you act on it, the sooner you can move on and live a life worth living.

OPOP You dont wanna ignore this, I used to let my life get dictated by fear. I was missing out of the good times with mates and girl.

DONT FUCKING IGNORE THIS

Bump

Bump

Just let it go, no amount t of panicking is gonna help and you can't do shit ehen you're hysterical.
No-one gives a shit, you don't have to be ashamed. Just stop doing it. Improving is hard, impossible even but you'll figure it out.

Do you know what the ultimate truth actually is?

It's living life at your own pace doing your own thing. It's getting control of what YOU want because YOU are the only on that's in control. You need to ultimately decide what YOU want and not let other people scare you into thinking you're so old. I'm assuming you're young, you have an entire life ahead of you, literally, chill out a bit and figure out what you want out of life.

not op

>be 6th grader
>have 3 regular bullies, 2 female
>angela would beat me up in stereotypical fashion
>joyce just made fun of me whenever she could
>live in constant fear of them

>for better or worse move clear across the country
>no one knows me, and people are much nicer for the most part
>make a few close friends
>many good memories playing four square

>moving on to high school it became apparent that I befriended future stoners while I was on the college prep course
>don't really make friends, except maybe michael
>instead make acquaintances
>do well in sports, especially running
>extremely luckily for me, cooper is the same grade as me, college prep, runner, same height/weight, equally competitive, pretty much equally matched in all aspects
>we push each other to do well in track and cross country
>even make it to state junior year
>cooper should have been there but he hurt himself pretty bad
>graduate and never hear from him again

>in college continue running
>same deal: few friends, many acquaintances with teammates and classmates
>except for maybe johann and a different michael

this is a multipart series if anyone gives a damn. just typing into the reply box

if the first part is about my friend making ability, this part is about my (lack of) adventures with the opposite sex

>remember angela and joyce?
>go through middle and high school terrified of girls because of them
>I really mean terror
>have difficulty making words and never make eye contact if one - much less a pretty one - walks into the group
>at some point, realize that I am pretty good at making people laugh
>I feel this really helped me become part of groups and teams
>if at least I only made acquaintances I wasn't completely ostracized like back in 6th grade

>develop crush on a girl
>fear and attraction at the same time (anxiety? who knows) are not fun
>barely manage to ask her out by leaving her a note on her desk as I walk out of the classroom
>I was dismissed early for a soccer game so I didn't have to deal with a possible rejection
>find out the next day she said yes
>still so damn scared of her I can't even manage to speak to her
>just open my mouth but words won't come out
>a week later she's with someone else who isn't pants on head retarded

She said yes. Hang onto that as you move forward and your second reaction will be better.

direct continuation

>a couple years later develop crush on a different girl
>we were both on the cross country team
>cooper comes up to me and says she has a crush on me
>shit my pants
>over the course of a few days work up the courage to ask her out in person
>big improvement for me
>she says yes
>maybe 2 weeks of the high schooler holding hands stuff during break
>I loved sports and homework so not much time to hang out otherwise
>have my first kiss with her
>she kissed me
>meanwhile I'm too scared to make a move on her
>she dumps me because I am a shit
>I feel terrible of course
>decide to never try again because I have no idea what I'm doing

another continuation

>fast forwards 4 years into college
>of course develop crush on another girl on the cross country team
>try my hardest to not let anyone know, least of all her
>teammates pressure me into going to a team party
>have my first taste of beer and its terrible
>keep sipping to fit in
>crush comes in
>almost do a 360 and walk away
>managed to distract myself with teammate's guitar
>shooting the breeze with one guy (he could actually recognize the bit of song I was playing), guitar in hand, and my crush has to sit right fucking next to me
>"you play guitar?"
>"well this is so and so's, I play electric, but there are clean parts that I can play on this one"
>genuinely don't remember if she asked me to show her something on the guitar or if I did
>attempt to teach her the power chord because that's all you need on an electric guitar
>conversation changes somehow to halo
>she had fun with her twin brother in the day playing halo 3
>mention I have it downloaded on my 360
>make our way back to my room to play some
>after a while we say goodbye and she dips out and I go to sleep because long run the next day

>teammates give me shit
>"so what did you and anonette do last night?"
>"yeah, heard you two went to your room together"
>"we just played halo"
>"you should make a move user!"
>fuck

>think long and hard about it because I still remember last time I tried
>the power of boners is great, and mine won out
>a different party we leave together again
>like a sperg, gush my feelings to her
>she says she'll think about it when she sobers up

how could I forget OP. you're 20. you're a wee lad. your life hasn't even properly started. get help

she did say yes, but I seem to like to hold on to the bad

>a couple days later I walk into my room
>there's a note on the floor
>"hey this is anonette. (pretend this is a number fourchannel thinks this is spam) text me :)"
>the fuzziest I've ever felt
>tl;dr it ends the same way it did 4 years ago, validating my pessimism of not trying
>that, physics, and a season ending injury send me into depression
>have my headphones on all the time
>quit running to not hurt myself again
>barely talk to anyone
>somehow get really good at guitar and lifting weights
>graduate and never hear from anyone again
fast forward a couple years
>finally lose virginity only because of craigslist
>it wasn't all that. didn't fix everything
fast forward some more
>I'm so smart I'm getting another degree, this time in nursing
>about 20 men in about 140 total

thank goodness everyone has a boyfriend or a husband. its as if well adjusted people get into nursing school and it makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing there sometimes. a couple male patients have been happy to be seen by a male student so that helps

not sure why I wrote this. maybe it'll help in some way. I'm 27 in a week and I'm still petrified of the other sex. I just feel like I missed out in middle and high school (and definitely college) to figure things out. the though of making a move at this point makes me so anxious I don't see how I will ever make one. even if I do they'll just be disappointed by the fact that in this department my development is equivalent to that of a 6th or 7th grader