Good Evening Anonymous! It's Sunday night again! Having a problem with sex and relationships...

Good Evening Anonymous! It's Sunday night again! Having a problem with sex and relationships? Your team lose horrifically in the playoffs? Your job an endless living hell? Maybe you'd just like to stop by and say hello! You can do all of that here!

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These are still going on? Surprised mildly

Yep.
How are you doing?

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Yep, I want to meet a good girl but I have no idea where to even start. I know online dating is a thing, but the last time I met a girl online it ended up being 4 years of my youth wasted. Just want a nice girl I can spend time with and be good to and make happy.

Does anyone here have experience with degradation in BDSM? I'm having difficulties opening up to my gf about wanting to be insulted during sex

People invite me to things. How do I reciprocate in such a way that doesn't seem desperate?

You already know how I'm doing.

But yea, I just haven't bothered with the threads recently

Tell me what happened in those 4 years.
You should be able to talk to her openly about sex. Is it always difficult to talk to her?
Just nod and say, ahhh, I guess I'll be there.

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Ok.
Nice to see you anyway. Have a good night!

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Not always, I'm just embarrassed. Wanting to be insulted about certain things during sex kind of means admitting they;re "true" to an extent. Right?

How do I improve my confidence after a breakup?

No. Not at all.
I suggest you and her sit down for a conversation. Just tell her, I'd like to talk about sex. And just lay it out for her.

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I'd say to take time for yourself and focus on healing. You just had a loss, let yourself mourn, and then find constructive things to take your mind off of it. Hobbies, exercise, and hanging with friends. It lets you heal and builds health and confidence

Let's look at why your confidence was shakenin the first place. In the end, it's really about just going out there, and talking to girls.

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The breakup was 4 months ago, relationship was a year long. I dont feel that bad like it was in the first day, but I don't feel that confident since the days before I asked her out.

Lmao, I've got that bit. The next part is to invite them to something. It's probably just nerves, but it is shredding mine.

How about inviting them to a sporting event?
You'll be ok. That girl was with you. Another one will want to be with you, too.

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Can I cry like a bitch in this thread? I'd like to cry like a bitch if nobody minds.
My mom has approximately 2 weeks to live before her mesothelioma wins. She put up a hell of a fight, lasted for 5 years, which is like an 8% chance, but there's only so much that can be done to that shitty cancer. I just got back to my place from visiting her to see how she's doing, she's barely conscious and can't walk. I feel like I swallowed a rock. Thinking about a world where she's gone makes me bawl like a fucking bitch, but that world will be a reality very soon. Hold me, bros. It feels so lonely in the world all of a sudden.

You're not alone, user. And you are welcome to cry here. I lost my own mother some years ago to breast cancer.

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Different guy, but gfs mom just got diagnosed with breast cancer today. Shit sucks, feel for you.

I can't quite put it into words, but I just can't seem to function as a sexual being. It's like I just shut down when faced anything sexual outside of the realm of masturbation. Sorry in advance for rambling. I was at this party last night and a female friend got a little handsy with me and other two girls responded positively when I made very weak advances on them. When the former happened I got really uncomfortable and froze up. With the latter, both seemed to be fine with talking to me, but I felt the need to immediately leave after we each exchanged maybe three lines of dialog. I know some of the big reasons for this behavior, but they aren't satisfying. Hell, I'm not even sure I want to change. I don't get it.

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I was depressed last semester since she broke up with me in the beginning of it, which prevented me from making friends and talking to girls. Next semester starts next week and I feel better. What should I do to make friends and talk to girls?

Either you are totally content with masturbation, or something happened to that makes you shy away from sexual contact. Did something bad happen to you somewhere down the line?

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It isn't really the event. I'm terrified at a deep level that everyone is just sort of tolerating me for some reason. Do I just push past dumbly trusting that it's just me lying to myself? That's what I'm doing now, or at least planning on doing.

How do I separate my self worth from my productivity?

I feel like I need to be constantly working, constantly doing something to validate my own existence. It's running me ragged. My muscles are starting to show signs of overuse, I'm tired and depressed all of the time. Everyone tells me I need a vacation, but I don't know how to relax without thinking that I'm being a waste of space.

When I was switching jobs, I specifically saved a good bit of money so I could take a two month long vacation. I was perfectly fine on funds, but I felt so useless and anxious the entire time. I want to be happy, but I feel like I don't deserve it unless I'm doing something to prove that I'm worth existing. Has anyone felt something similar? How do you overcome it?

Sounds like you may be asexual but know communicating that is usually met with "FAKE SEXUALITY" or you've seen it happen enough.
I'd look at yourself through the lens of being asexual, IE just not inclined towards or interested in, sexual intimacy or advancement.

That's fine, in fact it's better for you in the long run.

Join in on school activities. Go to their sporting events. Go to their musical performances. Get yourself out there with people. The more you go out, the more comfortable you will be with people, in general.

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Thanks, user. I appreciate your kind words. Sorry to hear about your mother. I hope she rests easy.
Best of luck to your gfs mom, user. I hope she beats it.

Yes, push past this negativity. They include you because they like having you around.

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I had a couple of bad things happen in childhood and adolescence. Maybe having those as a baseline is why I only ever feel the need to masturbate
I don't think I'm asexual. I definitely think about sex frequently and want to have it. I also certainly feel sexual attraction toward women

You're very welcome.
We're here every Sunday, if you need a place to come.
This sounds a lot like OCD. Have you ever been diagnosed with something like that?

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Just got back from a family-friend's party. This party had 3 big families and we've all grown up together. I'm F 21yo now, and all the others in my age group are married and having kids. And I have no relationship to speak of. I have baby fever so bad, I can't stand to see babies because I just want to hold them and love them. I tried Tender in a fit of desperation, to try and find a guy, and ended up having a horrible time with a guy who was condescending and retarded. I don't know what to do because I can't even find a guy to date, let alone marry and have kids with. And I know 21yo is kind of young, but I'm afraid that if I let it go, I'll end up in my 30's with no prospects. :\

[holds you, bro] im sorry :(

life is flying past me faster than I realized and I don't know what to do about it. I devote all my time to work and some personal projects/goals, I would like a relationship that leads to marriage but I have no idea how I would even begin to start and maintain one when I basically have zero time to actually give another person

at least I actually kind of like my job i guess. /vent

What's your job??

It seems obvious, but I guess it has to be written for it to sink in. Thanks.

Have you ever had a steady bf?

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Sometimes, we need things spelled out. I know I do. You're welcome!

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I'd like to order a cup of coffee, ma'am. How much is that on the menu?

No :\ I feel like any guy I'm ever in contact with, I come off as either "one of the guys" or like I'm his mother. I can't see to get past that barrier, even at bars.

truck driver

Rather than trying to be something you're not, find a man who's into you for you and what you bring. That's basically what my girlfriend did.

Hmm. This is intriguing.
You might just have a really strong maternal instinct. So strong, that it carries into dating situations.

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Thanks, bro. I think I can kind of empathize with you on the kids and family front. I wanted to make Mom proud and have her at my wedding, eventually see her grandchildren, but I'm terrible with women and wasted my time and now that can never happen. I wish you the best of luck, Anonette. There are some nice guys out there, you can find one of your own! Maybe try Bumble. It seems slightly classier than Tinder.

I don't feel like there's a guy out there who'd like me. :\ I don't feel very lovable or attractive in any social group I'm in, no matter what I do. It's completely superficial of me to notice, but if there's another option, I'm just not anyone's first choice.

$2 to go for an extra large. If you eat in, it's a dollar. All the refills you want, too.

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it's probably because i come from a big family and half raised my 6 younger siblings. I loved it, even if I complained, and I'm really good with kids. I can't help but be motherly. :(

When you go out for a date, do you get all dressed up? Full makeup and hair?

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yeah :( wanting to give the parents grandkids is... a real motivation, and a real bummer if you can't. :( And thanks for your encouragement. I haven't heard of Bumble, maybe I'll give that a try??

Where do I meet and date Asian girl's at?

And there you have it. Your maternal instinct was triggered at an early age. This not a bad thing. Not at all. You just have to learn how to downshift it when your in a dating situation.

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Hell yes. Fuck yes. I love fashion and I wear things that look good on me. I'm good at make-up. My hair is okay, I'm not as good with it, but it doesn't look bad. I'm in the "overweight" range for BMI, but I don't thinks too bad. I mean, I'm not a 10, but I wouldn't count myself any lower than a 6.

I haven't been diagnosed with OCD, as far as I know. I went to therapy a few years ago, but it was a bad experience. My therapist was a hyper-religious old woman who kept trying to convince me to find peace through God.

Go for it, Anonette. The concept is similar to Tinder, but the crowd was a little more relationship-focused the last time I tried to use it. I think there's also some app named Hinge? No experience with it, but you may want to check it out.

Tokyo, Japan.

Seriously tho, if you live in a big city, they should be easy to find. Korean Grocery stores are a thing here, for example. Youll find wuite a few girls in those places.

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I don't know how to do that tho. Like I figured out it was a problem interacting with guys when I was in middle school and couldn't fix it even through high school, no matter how weird and rebellious I tried to get. I don't want to date a guy who wants me to be his mother; I want to date a guy who wants me to be a mother to his kids. I don't know how to angle this aspect of myself so that comes off like that without it seeming, to be frank, a little creepy.

I know that feel, user, though I've never overcome. But I don't think I've had the courage to put in a real good faith effort towards trying to just be happy with myself.

The closest I came was after a breakup, when I had worked up the combination of depression-induced apathy and ennui to just try to enjoy myself - slacked off like a little shit in school. But even then, you don't feel much better. You just feel like it's all hanging over you. And you do fall behind.

But I did finally internalize a few lessons. First and foremost, that the contemporary world (through advertising and status competition) tries so hard to sell you the idea that you should be HAPPY: that happiness is a state where happy people do happy things, and if there ever is struggle, it's always heroic, and productive, and meaningful.

And so maybe the first thing to do is to make peace with the fact that you're like this, and that that's ok. It is --okay and normal-- to be that person who gets more ease and validation from cleaning their house than going out and partying or watching their expensive TV. It is --okay and normal-- to have this kind of tension between your expectations of yourself and your day-to-day motivation.

(1/2)

Ok good.
Anything that accentuates your femininity is good.

Just really hope there are people in my area using it. I'm from an average sized city, but the population is mostly meth heads and antisocial cynics.

I support the idea of going to a therapist. I feel bad that you got one who was unprofessional. I assure you, they are not all like that.

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Not that it seems to matter tho. I'm always "dude" and I can't help it, no matter what I'm wearing or what I look like. It's in my personality. So I've got this double whammy of "mommy" and "dude bro" that are just completely off-putting, but I can't make either go away.

What do I do if I go to those grocery stores?

You need one who accepts you just as you are. Then again, we all do.
What are some of the things you do that make you seem more motherly than girlfriend-ly?

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user, I've never heard it worded like that. Nobody has told me that I could try accepting myself for finding validation in accomplishment. I really, truly do appreciate it.

Thank you. I'm gonna try therapy again, but asking for help is a bit of a struggle for me. I was raised on the belief that I was supposed to support others, not the other way around. I basically started acting like the family therapist when I was about 10.

Shop.

Seriously, buy something there. A bag of rice, whatever. Keep your eyes open. Say hello to whoever catches your eye.

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(2/2)
You honestly sound uncannily similar to me, right down to the dissatisfaction with your physicality and having had a pseudo-pastor for a therapist (mine guilt tripped me through his child that he lost to cancer. fun times). You should keep looking for a counselor though. I know it feels like a massive waste of time, and it really takes your belief that it will work to work, which is a huge obstacle to overcome at first. But I think of it like I think of getting enough sleep or staying hydrated now: good for you, just in a way that's difficult to directly measure day-to-day.

I think you're gonna be a great mother someday. This maternal instinct of yours is a wonderful thing. But you might have to put up with being One of the Guys for a little while longer. Or at least until you learn how to unleash your Girlfriend Instinct.

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I'm not sure how to put it. The only date I've ever been on, I felt like I was babysitting him the whole time. I felt like I needed to be in complete control of the situation, and like I was asking him about school and encouraging him to get good grades and be social and, ughh, I just felt like I was his mom.

With other guys, it's like... I end up being emotional support for them, like I know a lot of them just use me for free therapy. I've been in contact with several men where my only interactions with them was them coming to me with their problems and me emotionally supporting them. And I'd have crushes on them, and I would try to flirt with them, but they weren't interested, obviously, because I wasn't acting like a potential girlfriend, I was acting like their mom.

How do unleash Girlfriend Instinct?? OTL

You mind if I ask what state?

You have to make them see you as a sex object. Just a little..

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>>>I wasn't acting like a potential girlfriend, I was acting like their mom

This.
You need to work on this.

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Possible OCD user here with an unrelated question. Is it possible for a guy with about average to slightly below average looks to find luck on a dating app? If so, which ones?

Missouri

I don't know which siteswould be best. But it's more about what happens when you make contact. If you have a quiet, easy self confidence, if you are comfortable in your own skin, good things will happen.
And by self confidence, I don't mean arrogance. Being an asshole does not work, either.

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AH, I KNOW~~ I don't know how to stop it. T~T I just find myself small talking and then they get too comfy with me too quickly and then I'm hearing about their family and their grades and their dreams for the future etc etc and I give them advice and suddenly I'm their mom and I don't know how to stop that cycle.

Tank tops and heels in the spring and summer.
But yes. Try to dress sexy. It'll help you feel sexy, too.

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It will be weird for a non asian to shop there. What do I say and do if I catch them staring at me? Won't they get weirded out for a non asian being there and hitting on them?

I generally consider myself to be a good conversationalist, and I have no trouble making and keeping platonic relationships with women. Plenty of female coworkers invite me to hang out with them, ask me for advice, that sort of thing. I don't think I really have it in me to be much of an asshole without reason, either.

It's pretty much the initial contact that I have problems with. I don't know how to really flirt with people. I don't hate the way I look. I know I'm on the chubby side, but I'm tall, have decent features, and decent musculature on my arms and chest. I'm always being told I smell good, too.

I guess my question is more of, what is an acceptable way to approach a woman you have romantic interest in without coming off as creepy?

Maybe you act way too mature at least that's what i think since the same happens with me only that i'm a dude and most of the time girls treat me like a phycologist

Talk to me more please

Then do it like this: shop there a few times. Until it's natural and comfy for you to be there. Then you'll be ready to make a move.

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I'd have asked you to get coffee or something had you said Ohio. It was a stretch, but I figured I'd ask. You seem like a nice person who'd be cool to get to know. Best of luck, and thank you for your earlier kind words.

Okay.. but there aren't really any guys I'm trying to impress.. so I don't know who I'd be dressing sexy for... :(

Yeah, I think it tends to happen to people with high emotional intelligence.

Ah, them's the breaks. :\ Probably would've taken you up on it, too.

Alright, I'll do that. What about the ones in school? How do I hit on them?

That should be even easier. You have much more in common. You have a million conversation starters there. And you are operating well within your Comfy Zone.

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>>Sometimes a different shade of lipstick makes all the difference in the world.

A great lady told me that once. And she was right.

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Just ask them about the class right?

Sure. Or the library. Or the parking lot. Or the weather.

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Do interacial relationships last? I would like to know if they can be long and healthy

>it's another guy avatarfagging his waifu while giving shit advice thread
Oh boy, the exact same pictures and vague intellectual bullshit as last time

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Some last and some don't. It's really that simple. What are you looking for? Do you just want to have fun temporarily? Or are looking for something long term? And what does your partner say about that?

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I would like to have a long term relationship.

So i recently thought of chewing and spitting food but i cant find good info on it, i read that it is an eating disorder, but everyone online seems to talk about chewing and spitting a whole meal or something like that basically not wating. People seem to say that its bad because of stomach acid and when you have no food in your stomach its bad. Personally have done it two times as of now but i only spit out like one bite of a good meal portion, basically when i feel its too bad and too much

Example today i had a sandwich, that was a good meal but i also saw a slice of pizza and decided to eat it too, and before being done with it the last two bites i just didnt eat them, is that really bad? Doesnt seem like how people usually do it, i think it can help me while not affect me since i do have my stomach full, thoughts?

Do you also try to manipulate your weight? Do you go for long periods without eating at all?

Then that is what you discuss, eventually, with your significant other.

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Not really, i have certainly thought about it, but when i dont eat its usually because i have a real shitty sleep cycle so i wake up so late and skip breakfast, but everything sorta normal, id say im skinny fat, like im normal-ish, but have somewhat of a belly

Dont get me wrong, i know it is weight related, and im too lazy to work out, i was just contemplating it as a last resouce for whenever i binge eat, because i have proper meals but later go on to keep eating whatever i can find

Sounds like all you need is some light exercise to keep fit. A simple walk around the block might be a good place to start.

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Tell Roll he's a massive bitch

Op here.
It's Zero Dark Thirty here in Op City. This means time for me to get some shuteye. I'll be here if the thread is still up tomorrow. Otherwise, I'll see you next Sunday!
Goodnight Anonymous, wherever you are!

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