For the past years I've been seeing things, people in my room at night...

For the past years I've been seeing things, people in my room at night. Sometimes it's just a single persone who is there in a corner of the room, not paying attention, other times they keep on staring at me with their red eyes, scaring me to death when I just want to sleep.
This got especially worse around February last year, when I was about to die from anorexia, they'd crawl closer and closer, like they were just waiting for me to die so they could eat me. When I was recovering I often woke up with my hands my neck, trying to choke myself to death.
I feel like my sanity is slipping further and further away, I'm so afraid.
The only time they weren't there was when I slept with my bf, but since we're in a LDR I just have to endure it until we can finally be together again. I talked to him about this, though, and now I'm afraid he might start seeing the same demons, I asked him to leave me if that were to happen but he refuses, saying he'll keep me safe no matter what but it's still so scary. Just yesterday he had a nightmare where I killed my flatmate and became a demon with yellow eyes after I told him, all while he was hugging me. The moment I told him about my own demons, he said he felt a chill and had to turn on all the lights in his house as he had a panic attack, too. Now I left him all vulnerable and I don't know what to do.
I want to be fine for him, I want to get all my issues sorted, but I just don't know what to do, recently I started visiting another psychologist hoping she won't send me to a psychiatrist, as I want to avoid medications and going to one would prevent me from getting my dream job forever. I'm also considering going to a neurologist, hoping it could help. What else can I do?

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What is your dream job that is preventing you from getting help? You've got some serious mental illness OP, you absolutely need to see a psychiatrist. I'm not a therapist but this is sounding like something that need medication to be regulated.its one thing to see stuff out the corner of your eye, but to look at the hallucinations head on and interact with them means something like schizophrenia.

You need to go get some actual, professional help. No one outside of a professional is going to be able to give you what you need.

Either judge or ambassador in a foreign country. I know that with my issues I will probably never make it anyway, but I just don't want to give up like this. If it helps, it seems I have genetic depression and suffer a lot from anxiety. My parents never really helped and are actually source of most of my problems, together with my ex who raped me for years
I know that, I just don't know where to go. I went to different psychologists in the past years, and they all just told me to go to a psychiatrist, I don't want that I just want to have no issues, marry my bf and live together in happiness

It's a curious question given all the stories, why Vampires and Werewolves don't exist/

Some asshole figured out how to strap dynamite to a hooked crossbow bolt with a short fuse, and made it stick until it went off. I fail to see how a Vampire or Werewolf could immortal themselves out of being turned into literal ground beef.

Are there still demons in the world? Well, there's certainly enough meat in disappeared persons to feed more than a few, that's for sure.

Some people hear only the voices of those speaking to them.
Some people hear the voices of those speaking to them from the past; parents, siblings, and they don't speak in tongues, they also speak in emotions, some good, some bad. Some people only know those voices.
And some people, they hear something from beyond.

Why do we do what we do? If you ask why enough times, you find out will itself needs to reason, no logic. Rationality is just a tool, nothing more; we can reason anything that we want. It's who you are, what you want, that makes choices, your soul or ghost if you want to call it that. If you're a real muck-luck, your a slave to your limbic system.

You can also make choices that lead to you do the things you do today; preperation is the key to success in every endeavour. And Finally, you can make choices in a viscious cycle, or a loop.

A demon is a voice that is an expert of forming that viscous loop. They do it to convince you that you are not really you, that you are them, that you are not in control, that they can make you do whatever is they want you to do.

Understand that, and understand you are always in control of yourself, and you win. Everything after that is just a discussion of relative firepower.

I find going down to the range, poking holes in paper zombies and cockroaches, then coming home and cleaning guns to zombie movies to be an amazingly relaxing experience. Puts life in perspective.

I Suggest you give it a try.

Why did this give me chills? Holy shit

Sleeping with a plush and a shirt bf gave me when we got together used to make me feel safer, but lately even that doesn't seem to work anymore

What is Evolution?

The single Celled Amoeba figured out how to work with it's bretheren, figured out how to see, to walk, to fly. Evolution, then, is the conquest of reality; to find an advantage in something not yet seen.

How convenient, then, is a soul, to carry on some part of the self to the next generation? To give an advantage? It only makes sense, right?

Does it make sense the soul of a predator, like a butterfly emerging from it's cocoon, might seek out and try to consume others? There's much of nature we do not see, and the scientific process, is really, no different than evolution; instead of evolving flesh, we evolve ideas.

There's a hell of a lot about the world we don't know, and there's not much time in our lives to be worried about it. If we needed to be worried, we'd know about it. We might, one day, invent goggles and lasers to see and kill the thespians sucking our very life force, but until that happens, prepare for the horrors you can see, and enjoy what you have in life. You don't get a lot of it.

Some of us have beaten the demons at their own games. You will find ultimately that, they are a very, very bored bunch. Ennui is a bitch.

You are welcome.

Don't know if it helps, but years ago I did go, not officially, to a psychiatrist, and the only thing he told me to do was to get 4mg Xanax every day, which I never did

Sleep paralysis?

No, while trying to fall asleep. I actually never suffered from sleep paralysis

Lol if you have demons just tell them to fuck off and act done with their immature bullshit

>while trying to fall asleep.
That's when sleep paralysis occurs, or while you're waking up.

Bf and I are always calling to help with the LDR, and we always sleep together like this. A few days ago it was very bad and the demons were all around me, and bf helped calm me down so I guess we can rule out sleep paralysis?

I've been trying for years, they just won't go away, together with a fucking voice telling me how useless I am and that I should just kill myself

Welcome to the crazy club OP. You seem like a nice addition.

Congrats you have late onset schitzephrenia. Your life is over user.

>Your life is over
No fucking way, I'm not giving up just like this

There could be so many things causing this that it’s a game of speculation on our part. Something is wrong though and you need help,

Where is your father?

In my hometown, probably making life hell for my sister now that I moved out

youtube.com/watch?v=_nMcXIoV1VM&t=1m27s

Alternatives to psychiatry for schizophrenia. I use these kinds of methods for treating myself and it has worked much better for me than antispsychotic drugs ever did.

I see, do you get along with him?

Better than I should, considering he used to beat him I still love him

>2 hours
Not to sound ungrateful, but do you happen to have anything shorter?

It's actually only about 30-40 minutes long. After that its just Q&A

I'll give it a watch as soon as I can, thanks user

Yeah hope you can get better