>bf broke up with me after 15 months
>we reconnect a month later
>we both want to make things work
>the issue he broke up with me for can be worked through. I was really hurt but it is repairable.
>however, I slept with someone else from tinder while we were apart
>he accepts that I could do what I wanted, because we weren't together
>we talk about how we love each other still and want to be together, but he can't re-enter the relationship now
>says he could never move on so fast, because he has a strong bond with me and doesn't understand how I could do that, and that people break up and get back together all time and I shouldn't have slept with someone so fast
>he says the thought of me sleeping with someone else eats at him, and he would probably let it poison any attempts a relationship
>he says it wouldn't be fair to me and that I don't deserve that kind of treatment and more pain from the relationship not working
>he wants to go no contact so we can both sever our bond and heal
Am I just fucked here? Is there anything I can do to get him back? What can I say? We both still love each other. He acted very mature and civil throughout the whole thing.
What can I do to get him back?
Yeah, this is a bed you made and now you have to lie in it.
Not to sound the incel horn, but we do generally discourage sexual promiscuity. You're best to learn from this and honor his word-- he's got a damn good head on his shoulders to have said that.
He's right. Sever, move on, and heal.
Why did you sleep with other men if you still felt things for him?
I was hurt and didn't want to think about him. It was a coping mechanism I guess.
Is this bait?
He has a point, and he’s well within his right to break it off with you.
I don’t know if it’s a smart move for him to jump to conclusions like that or not. I know I’m sick of being played by thots who crave compulsive sex and external validation. If that describes you, consider reforming, or at least adapt your life so that it’s more congruent with what you want.
He's being calm about it because he knows he has you in a knot and under his "control." What he's really doing is being petty and most likely pursuing another romance, crush etc OR already fucking around.
Never, ever confess something like that. What happens after a break up needs to stay amidst a break up.
Honestly your only real chance lies in stalking him and finding out what he's been up to, figure out who the new crush is, or call him out on playing with your feelings then ghisting that motherfucker like the trash he is. GL
Not OP but why do men look at porn while claiming to love their partner? Same concept. People don't always act in line with their feelings and it's a very human thing to do.
I believe in truth and honesty. I wasn't going to hide that from him. If we were going to try to make things work, I believe we need a solid foundation, not one built on secrets and lies. And honestly, you sound more bitter than me. I don't think he has any other romantic interests.
Is this also bait? You can’t make someone as fucked up as you that easily.
Porn doesn't leave the pair-bond. Physical intimacy with another person is much different. There are chemical reactions at play that are bonding you to a new person.
Okay... but what is done is done. Even if I reform in the future, how do I get him back? Is this just a loss?
In what way does looking at porn indicate that someone doesn’t love their partner? Are you insinuating that watching porn is the same as having sex with someone? Women watch porn too, by the way.
This post is more bait, I guess.
I don't want to move on though. He is a great guy. I hate this.
The relationship looks like it’s not even surviving. I assume by how he left you over a red flag that you two weren’t engaged or anything. Maybe take this an opportunity to be independent and evaluate what you could do better next time.
I was in a relationship on life support before. It was pretty much an abomination and a waste of my time. What’s sad is that the relationship was very beautiful in many ways, but the two of us had our limitations and, like you said what was done couldn’t be undone.
I guess you can take this as an opportunity to prove him wrong. Your next relationship could be one that actually works and lasts. Of course, you’ll need to be capable of coping with being single for this to happen.
I wouldn’t go back to him even if he was knocking on my door, to be honest. I’ve had three dramatic relationships with people who hurt me, and that’s more than enough.
How is sleeping with someone else during a short break a red flag? Even if she was within her rights, for lots of guys that is a deal-breaker. It's not a flag, it's an action.
you did nothing wrong. if he truly loves you it shouldn't stop you two going back together.
I get it, he feels sad with that and all, but it's unfair blaming it on you -- specially since he was the one who broke up. He'd be selfish to keep telling you were in the wrong and honestly, it doesn't seem like he cares that much for your as a person
don't put up with trashy guys, value yourself
WTF? He didn't tell her she was wrong. He said he couldn't go back because he would let the thought poison the relationship. It was an admission of his limitations. How is that selfish?
It’s not a bad action, but it’s a sign that her head might not be in the right place. We call that a red flag.
I’ve witnessed some trifling shit in my time, though, so it’s not like I consider OP a bad person or anything. The fact she’s not malicious or breaking the rules puts her above a lot of people.
>trashy guys
Nothing in OPs description makes the guy sound trashy. God there are a lot of bitter roasties on this board.
You fuck, you get fucked :)
Move on cunt
>roasties
It’s an incel roleplaying as a girl. They make loads of threads like this when they’re allowed to. “Hey guys, I just started dating a black guy...” That could be another one. It’s a subhuman and extremely repetitive form of trolling, very pale to the type of fun that used to be on this site.
That’s nice sleeping with men while having feelings for another, huh? At least you have the minimal decency confessing your degenerate actions, facing consequences is something thots usually lack.
Dream on about returning to the relationship, you shot down your chance with a quality man who also isn’t beta enoug to get cucked by you. Move on.
Well he said he still loves me. I think there is a chance. I was just hoping for advice, because I am at a loss.
tough shit. he ended it gently. alot of men would have walked out and gone dark without ever speaking to you again.
My advice is to move on, he is too aware of how your actions during the break up will sabotage your attempts to rekindle. He loves you, because love isn’t a switch you turn on and off, it fades with time or not depending on various parameters. As he said, the poison was already set, and his trust is most likely broken after seeing how easily you gave your body to some man.
She had sex because she was coping. It was just sex. I don't see what the big deal is. Casual sex is just giving someone a handshake.
I'd feel the same as OPs boyfriend desu. It's devastating and shows how little the partner cares. If you're truly in love, the mere thought of having sex with another person will not occur without disgust. At least, this is how I feel, and it's not uncommon to feel this way. Also when I'm in love I don't even masturbate, because I'd much rather have sex with my partner. I can't wrap my head around how people feel so casual about sex. It feels like they're robots without feelings, and really distances oneself from those people.
That ship sailed away when you fucked some random.
Just a handshake... there’s something really crooked with being able to open up your legs for some casual “fun”. I am a woman who never participated in sex outside a relationship, and had only long-term ones. The fact I never opened up my legs like you do, gained me automatic respect in my relationships, and all the perks of being told straight up I am marriage-material. So close your legs, might save you the emotional crippling of justifying your degenerate actions.
Whatever. You guys arent helpful. That ship is coming back for me. Love will hold us together.
No it is not.
I feel as if no matter how I try to explain this to you, you either wont understand or you wont accept it as an answer.
Nutshell, you broke his trust and it’s not repairable.
Ultimately my advice is for him to stop talking to you and block you on all social media formats.
Why aren’t you dating the guy you fucked???
OP, he's trying to tell you that he doesn't want it you back and saying he still loves you is a different kind of love at this point. If he's suggesting no contact then he really thinks it won't work out in the end. You can try op but honestly sounds done in my eyes.
Also, what if you go no contact and you fuck more guys because you're "coping". You think he will take you back then too? Use your head and start realizing he isn't thinking about you romantically anymore. Because most likely he doesn't. You need to move on if that is the case.
Classic thot not getting what she wants. Wanna cry about it more? Cope by just hoeing around some more that'll help your case.
Love will tear us apart.
If we were doing no contact, I would be free to sleep with and date whoever I want. He can't control me without being exclusive. I think he may get jealous if he sees me with other men, and then come back for me.
Enjoy being a wrecked hole into your 30's and wondering why you can't get a decent relationship.
If you're not contact then how would he know you're fucking around. I can tell you're just thinking about yourself and not about the relationship. He won't take you back and I hope he never does.
You’re absolutely delusional. The man who wanta to go no contact will push you away if you make him jealous:
You're either larping or a disgusting ruined hole. This is exactly why he feels its poisoned the relationship, he fears that you are able to fuck other guys freely without having any regard for him. You obviously are a thot and I pray that he doesn't fall into the trap of getting back with you again just to waste a year in a toxic relationship.
>coping mechanism
son of a bitch, a new dick deep in your pussy to pound the love you have for him out of you.
bottom line OP you weren't in love and you aren't now
Its the same OP from several days ago but from the females perspective. Seriously same story
My advise, use your go to coping mechanism, fuck another guy like you did before but how about his best friend. That will show him whos boss
I've done this. It definitely made me feel better until he fucked my best friend.
No, that other guys dick tore a hole in the hull of that ship and its going down.
Your larp is getting way too obvious. You started somewhat believeable but now. 2/10 better luck nexz time.
Its not a surprise. Every gf I have had, all my friends gf's, well, every girl I have ever known will fuck someone else the same day there is a hint of trouble in a relationship and they all say the same thing. My "coping mechanism" isn't what it really is, its an implied threat to your partner that if you get pissed for any reason you get dick on the side and then force them to accept it after you do as proof of their love for you.
If i see you pair-bond faggot ever again im going to be irrationaly angry once more
Are women really such cunts to do this intentionally?
Of all the bait in this thread, this is the best. Thanks for the laughs.
I don't think all women but some women yes.
Cruel roasties
I wouldn't want you back if you had someone else inside of you while you still loved me. You're fucked I think. Used goods in his eyes perhaps.
Sex isn't related to love. Not always. At least for women.
Knowing a girl who wants you ran to another dick in her emotional despair just ruins everything, because you'd never know for sure if she'd do it again or not. She made her whore bed, now she can sleep in it.
I don't even get how some people can do this, unless of course, they weren't in love to begin with.
Ouch
Seems to be the case. If she values feeling a cock inside her more than being faithful to the man she supposedly loves, then she probably doesn't really love him and is just afraid of being alone.
What if she loved him so much, that she couldn't bear thinking about him, so she hooked up with another guy to completely eradicate thoughts about him?
There are other ways to cope that don't involve being a slut. I broke up with the woman I love months ago and haven't fucked anyone because I'm still in love with her. Does loyalty mean nothing to modern people?
The moment you fucked the other guy was the moment you ruined any chance of getting back with him.
The problem is women don't have any hobbies or activities to fall back on. All they like doing is drinking win, eating, traveling, and shopping. And of course getting strange on tinder. In other words, consuming. And consuming will never fill an inner void. The more you suck, the more you bleed.
It wasn't always like that. I wonder if modern media is the culprit behind this degenerate behavior.
And this is why I stopped caring about being an incel. If there was some reward beyond pussy in a relationship (I'd say children but women are all about muh career and muh cats) maybe it would be worth playing society's game but fuck this shit.
What caused the initial breakup? You said he initiated it, but what was the reason?
Regardless, it's ultimately not important because you're a whore who can't keep dick out of her drawers for a short period of time. It would be all the more hilarious if you got pregnant from the tinder fling. Rot in a ditch, bitch
Jeez /adv is full of some real virgins.
Honestly I've broken up and gotten back with a couple of girls over the years. I would be heartbroken to hear that my girlfriend slept with someone else during a short break off.
Like your guy said he gets it you guys were broke up but the thought would eat at me too.
After I break up with a girl who I say "I love you" to I wait 6 months before getting with anyone else because it takes about 6 months fo4 me to be ready to date again and sex isn't just a wet hole to me.
If my girl can just forget about me so easily and get over it so fast to have sex with someone else, what would stop them from doing other things during a bad argument.
I hope it works out for you. You got caught in a moment of weakness which happens but it's hard for us guys to cope with the person we say we love to give it to someone else so easily during a bad time.
Not that its right we think this way just that it really fucks us up sadly.
What did she do that was so wrong? They weren't together when she slept with the new guy.
>claims to be in love with one guy
>fucks another
That wasn't too tough to figure out, now was it
Her love isn't worth shit, so the guy peaced. That's what she did wrong, proved her love was worth nothing to him
I don't understand. I am a woman and sex isn't the same thing as love. Sex is so common and can be got anywhere. Love is rare.
Go no contact like he said, avoid tinder and relationships
Try again a few months later and hopefully he's ready to try again.
Moment of weakness my ass.
>baiting me
Nuh-uh. I'm tougher'n that, sir. Nuh-uh!
Whether or not it's the same thing, he learned that she and he had different ideas of what sex meant and when it should be had and he left.
You're welcome to keep believing she's innocent but that's neither our choice, nor hers, nor yours-- the man decided well enough he was done, so... it's pretty irrelevant now anyway
fuckin' baiter
>same concept
"No!"
This is fake.. A guy posted this story a few days ago from his point of view, this is just bait
Eh maybe the person, male or female, is struggling with their feelings and looking for advice. Someone sleeping with another during a break seems like a fairly common relationship issue, regardless.
Hmm. All may not be lost. There is always a chance that you can change his mind or convince him otherwise.
My advice is this: let him know that you love him and only him. Let him know that you want to be exclusive to him. and only him. Do this in person if you can.
Telling the truth may not always be the best thing to do in some situations. Although noble, a white lie once in a blue moon will keep the peace in the long run.
Anyway, just take him somewhere special or plan a little date perhaps, and do as I said. You want to be his and only his, tell him to forget it, hug him while you do it, or anything. You have nothing to lose at this point.
What did she do wrong?
>can't keep her legs closed for one month despite still having feelings or whatever sob story she's concocted to make white Knights feel bad for her
>cries on an anonymous imageboard about how she wants him back after he (rightfully) wants nothing to do with the easy-access hole he wasted 15 months of his life on
Unfortunately for her, her ex bf doesn't sound like the whiteknight cuck type. She actually had a good one with self-respect and she blew it.
That's what I'm saying. She made up some story about how she's the victim, trying to fish for support, when the main takeaway is that she's a whore who blew her chance with a decent dude
How could he possibly believe this, if he knows she gave herself to another man so rapidly?
>slut shaming
Is sleeping with someone in a moment of weakness not a justifiable excuse?
>
Look you dumb fucking cunt
If the furries can be proud of what they are, so can sluts
Get the fuck over it. If you're ashamed of being a slut, don't be one. Even fucking furries don't care about being shamed anymore
Imagine being less confident than furries
>is a victim to their every moment of weakness
>expects handouts and consolation
Buddy
When you sleep with someone so soon that means you had no respect for said relationship.
dug your own grave with that one; move on
I would never rebang a chick after she fucked someone else.
You have to fight for the girl you love sometimes. I hope you learn that some day. Some of us are worth fighting for.
Not you lmao
get out of here with your sex as a coping mechanism ass
Different people process things in different ways.
you try to ask for advice on how to get a guy back that you're in love with but the fact is you slept with another guy to get back at him and you can never take that back
I hope revenge was worth ruining your future with this guy.
Were you a virgin before you first started dating? Did the fact that you slept with men before him make him sperg out on your first date? Maybe that argument, but with better tactics, might convince him to reconsider?
While his caution for getting back together is understandable, it doesn't make much practical sense. But I guess that's how emotions work.
I was having a lot of casual sex when we first met. I stopped when I met him. He didn't know it. When I told him about it, he said he never would have dated me in the first place if he had known. So I don't think that argument would work.
But he continued dating you even after he knew? Sounds like a pushover if he actually believed he would never have started dating you. Either way, he got over it and dated you so it didn't bother him THAT much.
We were already dating for a couple months before I let him know. He wasn't happy at about it all.
Sounds like he is in his own head too much.
stop being a little bitch and just get over it. he broke up with you, then he gets mad at you when you sleep with someone else? dude, it's his problem for breaking up with you in the first place. real men don't play those games.
I don't think he was playing games. But maybe he wasn't a real man like you.
I hope he meets someone better soon.
This cuck image is irritating.