Why can't guys ask girls on dates, confess to them straight forwardly or ask them to be their girlfriend...

Why can't guys ask girls on dates, confess to them straight forwardly or ask them to be their girlfriend? Are guys really that afraid of rejection? How long are you able to go with just flirting and occasional dates without being with the person officially together?

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Confessing is a wicked beta move, imo. You're supposed to start with an attraction and build from there, like a fire. Start with a spark and some tinder, add kindling, then, if you can keep it going, get it good and going for a long time. Why do you think they named the app that?

I tried all those things and they didn't work so now I just stay home and play league of legends

Im not going to ask a girl out who I don't know/strongly think is attracted to me.
I do not know how to determine attraction
Therefore I do not ask girls out.
It really hurts too, because a new semester just started at school and the amount of young ass is driving me bonkers. I'm 22, so a little old to be a virgin and on a college campus, but it still makes me sad.
I wish I knew how to get sex once. Just how to get over that first bump in the road.
I'm afraid I'll have to get an escort for my virginity and then a surrogate when I'm ready for kids, which I do want

pretty much this

>hey wanna get coffee
>no
>ok

Why is confessing a beta move? Better than not telling the girl about your feelings and later bitch about her not being interested in you romantically

It makes you unnecessary vulnerable with no requirement for reciprocation. It is the dating equivalent of that thing dogs do where they bare their throat at you to show submissiveness. Unattractive to a T.

>ask on dates
This is optimal way how to court girls after ~10 minutes of first contact
>confess to them
The moment you use any word like love, relationship, feeling and similiar as a man, she will lose any kind of respect for you. NEVER EVER DO THIS. NEVER. Only phrase as a man you can say is: me too baby.
>ask them to be their girlfriend
See above. That is her responcibility, not his.

>i dont ask girls on dates
Then you will be single forver...

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That's kind of the point.
Either I'm entirely unattractive and no female has ever shown attraction towards me, OR I lack the mental capacity to determine attraction.
Either way, I'm not risking a rape charge for cold approaching females. I guess I was born to get a surrogate

ok but why do guys then bitch about girls playing around with their feelings when girls are not given a chance to say no nicely. Not trying to bash or be mean, i am sincerely curious

>not risking a rape charge
You have spend too much time online reading memes. Real life is different.

Because male ego is the most fragile thing in the world. Girls are allowed to cry, do gay things like talking openly about their feelings, having full social backup net or even fail at certain tasks.

Men? Men either succeed at everything they do or they are laughted at and shunned away. Thats part of reason why is Jow Forums full if these insecure teenagers / older men blaming society and women for everything.

These days the only place for men to vent their stress is online.

I'm pretty convinced I'd be negatively affected if I asked a girl out who I do not know is attracted to me.
I would ask one out if I knew what them being attracted looked like. I cant learn that online and I have no one to teach me

If asking for date is too much for you, then have a small talk instead first about random memes like weather or muslims refugees crysis in germany. If it goes well (she isnt screaming rape), simply ask for her number :-)

And dont forget to put smug smile on. Btw talking to woman is still not yet considered rape even in california.

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Maybe. I suck at small talk as well as generally conversing. I can't tell you the last conversation I had with anyone my age that didn't center around work or school.

I'm no expert but that depends on a lot of things if your more attractive than she is and has lots of other positive features this will give will probably make her very happy. Depending on how non-autisticly you go about it.


on another note I've experienced something odd recently, if I could get some feedback I'd be nice.

For a while now I thought that love or those kind of mushy feelings were non-existent and just fantasy's. But for the first time in my life I think I've experienced love at first sight.
I don't want to really fuck her, but hold her hand, cuddle, go out and do couple things.

She's a complete qt3.14, she has a lovely smile , weirdly it's her that always starts the conversation. ( When most girls expect you to talk to them, in terms of attractiveness we're both 7.5/10-8/10's). It's obvious that she likes me, she even said I hope we can speak again soon before I could say it.
( We work together) When I asked a group of people if they knew where x was, she enthusiastically was the first to volunteer and even though she didn't know where it was she still looked for it. It was so sweet you should have seen it.
It's so rare in the west that you find a girl who's as good natured. Unlike all the narcissistic, class B personality disorder frumpy women men seem to tolerate. ( She's also half Japanese and spent her first 11 years living in Japan, that would explain the non-shit personality )

my question is, am I just deluding myself that genuine love can exist between a man and a woman? I really want to be happy lads.

For most of human history virginity was a requirement for marriage. So you can shove that purity fantasy straight up your ass.

Most self help books aren't worth the paper they're printed on, why is that one any different?

Pretty sure this post is meant for me
Thanks OP, I'll open up to her by the end of this week
Pinkie promise

marriage really isnt that old, its not the end all be all of relationships. on another note, dont you think marriages have been overly romanticized a bit?

It's not and none of them are unless you're completely atrophied and need to be told that people generally don't like pressure, stress or arrogance, and that you should indeed be possessed of enough willpower to make your own goddam bed and clean your own goddam bedroom

That's what I thought. I've heard that same book touted as some lost bible book since it came out. Self help books are bullshit, go out and pay for your social skills with the pain of rejection and awkwardness.

BECAUSE SHE ISN'T GOING ON THE DATE BECAUSE SHE LOVES ME, WANTS TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND, OR EVEN JUST WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME. SHE IS THERE BECAUSE SHE HAS DEEMED ME WORTH CONSIDERING, AND IS NOW SPENDING TIME WITH ME IN ORDER TO DETERMINE IF SHE WOULD LIKE TO PURSUE A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME.
A date is only the interview, you aren't hired yet.
>inb4 don't treat dates like a job interview!
Yeah, and don't treat relationships like a job. It's an analogy.

Memes like school or work are perfect topics for small talk. Ask them whats their least favorite class or which boss they consider the best. Always follow with question WHY

Most people who claim
>self help books arent worth
dont need the help because they arent retards. Try to read OP's post and try to use empathy skill to figure out how big retard OP is. Yes, for someone like them the book will definitely help.

That's not entirely true. Here in New Zealand and Australia there are workshops where men meet up and give advice and work on projects. Although a few are being forced to admit women or face being shutdown.

>For most of human history virginity was a requirement for marriage
>was a requirement
>was
Yeah and for most of human history we didn’t have cars. What’s your point?

You have no idea yes we are atleast some of us now you may say i liked the wrong person but whenbi confessed she refused and told her friend who told someone else etc etc its extremely embarrassing and hurts like hell especially when its a bad rejection also if you're good friends with them you dont want to nake it awkward

>try to use empathy skill
I rolled a 20 and made some decent posts. Confessing is a wicked beta move.

Fuck you, captcha. I skip those slow loading ones every time.

You shouldn't have feelings for a girl that you barely know. That means you're desperate and lacking options.

The girl wants to feel that she has got a high quality guy. She wants to feel that she won a guy over. She doesn't want to feel that some desperate dude fell in love with her because she's the only girl that talks to him.

"Confessing" is literally a cartoon trope and it boggles my mind every time I see people talking about on this board unironically.

>Why can't guys ask girls on dates,

They can tho

>confess to them straight forwardly

Mate I haven't sinned and I'm not a beta, no confessing needed

>or ask them to be their girlfriend?

How old are you, ten?

>Are guys really that afraid of rejection?

Yeah most of them are

>How long are you able to go with just flirting and occasional dates without being with the person officially together?

Forever, but normally one party gets fed up

>She wants to feel that she won a guy over.
proofs?
>She doesn't want to feel that some desperate dude fell in love with her because she's the only girl that talks to him.
Come on dude this is just ad hoc reasoning.

Most people are deathly afraid of failing and will simply opt out of risk taking.

>proofs?

What the fuck do you want me to show you?

Women want high quality males.

When something is scarce, hard to acquire, and you have to work for it, you feel that it is valuable / high quality.

Therefore, when a woman must work for the attention of a man she feels that he is high quality.

>all men are pigs
>all men are creepy.
>Seriously, eww you fucking creep.

>Why is no one approaching me now? clearly the problem is men here, for my infinite fucking lady wisdom has made me infallible, it could not now or ever be because I have been utterly unapproachable.


>Are guys really that afraid of rejection?
Actually, rejection aint the problem. "no" runs like water off our backs. It's how you cunts reject mate, and you vicious cunts remind us constantly through your actions that the term "fairer" sex is just a shittty PR stunt.

"no" isn't the worst thing that can happen. It's the second best thing that can happen. Hell, if guys could ask women out knowing "no" was the worst that could happen, you wouldn't need to make this damned thread.

>How long are you able to go with just flirting and occasional dates without being with the person officially together?

Sound to me like you two are just mates LMAO.

The problem is men are supposed to be the more resilient gender, at least emotionally. However when dealing with relationships their ego is sensitive to things like rejection so I'm guessing it can hit them harder than women getting rejected.

Another thing, men know what it means to commit to someone and are afraid of not being able to deliver on that commitment so they hesitate to officially establish a relationship, it's a pride thing really. If they fail, they'll know they failed as men.

>Therefore, when a woman must work for the attention of a man she feels that he is high quality.
I'd say the work a woman has to put in and the work a man has to put in are at very different levels

Leaving aside all this "APLHPA BROOOO" sperging, have you considered that professing undying love to some girl on a first date is simply not proportional to the relationship you actually have?

You barely know each other, so how is she supposed to react to something like this?
Proportionality , nigger. Life is not a disney movie.
And yes, even though all this redpilly "value" crp is garbage, no woman wants a man who is dripping with desperation, and any man who "confesses" like a highschooler is very clearly just that.

>the regret hurts more in the long run than any rejection
This is absolutely not true, and the regret hurts a LOT.

Asking a woman to “be your girlfriend” like you’re 11 is about as weird as randomly asking an employer to “be your boss” with no interview or vetting process.

It’s not the man’s job to “get a girlfriend”

It’s the woman’s job to chase you until you become her boyfriend

Your only job as a man is to seduce her, fuck her brains out, and leave her begging for more

YOU are the object of pursuit

>seduce her
How do you do this?

This. I see a lot of people (especially guys on here) pining after someone that they haven't or barely talked to, building her up in their minds as this embodiment of perfection and The One.

Not only is this unrealistic and unhealthily putting someone on a pedestal, chances are she's probably not even like how they imagine.

And then they're suddenly, as a stranger, spilling out all of these feelings. Women especially are going to be wierded out by this, because remember that the whole "stranger danger" thing is taught tenfold to women.

It's just a recipe for disaster.

In a nutshell, make her feel shit. And escalate sexually. Just don’t be a safe boring faggot.

I did all of those things at least 20 times with no success so I'm no longer interested, I just don't like women that much anymore.

There’s two types of misogynists

>Guys who do amazing with women
>Guys who utterly fail with women

I'm not a misogynist I just don't have any need to pursue a woman romantically anymore. I enjoy talking with and hanging around my female friends and acquaintances. I don't feel the urge to date or be in a relationship at all anymore though.

I don't bother asking anymore, women so very rarely even aknowledge me, if not actively shun me so I almost enver have opportunities to take a shot, and when I do they shoot me down as hard as they possibly can, so why bother anymore?

I took the hint after hundreds of thousands of times being shot down or outright ignored/ghosted. Women as a whole do not show any interest in me, so fuck it I stick to myself now.

me too user. not everyone is meant to be with someone. enjoy the other things life has to offer.

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