I have a little cousin who's a shut in and my aunt allows it. She's been home schooled for 9 years and she's 16 now, she's had no social interaction with kids her own age ever since she was home schooled, she plays soft ball every summer but unfortunately all she does it play soft ball and just leaves. She doesn't bother to mingle with her teammates.
All she does at the house after her mom helps her with her studies is sit on the couch, on her phone, reading her books and watch Crime shows with her mother in isolation.
I'm personally getting concerned that she needs a social life and that her mother is enabling her out of fear of her being bullied in school. I have other family members who are concerned but they all just decided to just wait and hope she comes around but at 16 years old I fear the time for waiting is past.
For a situation like this what can I do to get my aunt to see that perhaps it's about time for my cousin to either go back to school or to do some social activities to get her foot in the door socially?
Have you got any other 16 year old relatives or friends? Do you know what hobbies she has or what she might be interested in?
Nolan Sanchez
Maybe become a mentor figure for her. Slowly get that Aunt to let you do activities with her that your cousin would also be interested in, and slowly work your way to things that requires socialization.
It'll take effort, the question remains are you willing to put in said effort? If yes, that's only the first half. You'll have to deal with moments of resistence or little to no progress.
But persistence is key, and as long as all the parties involved are okay with it, then you shall persevere, and knowing you played a big part in someone's life is an incredible feat that only the free would know. Your intentions are good op, but good actions come with a far greater burden. I wish you luck.
Liam Harris
Sadly no I don't have any 16 year old acquaintances. Which makes sense I'm ten years older than her.
Her hobbies consist of just reading. That's ALL she ever does. Only exception being when they're a new marvel movie coming out.
Landon Williams
I'd like for her to start being social with kids her age, she's able to be social with me or adults twice her age, but I'd like for her to mingle with kids her age.
Juan Price
Jeeze that's not making it easy. Has her mother ever expressed a desire for her to socialise outside of a school setting? Does the cousin have any aspirations or a job she'd like to do? Where's the father in all this?
Juan Rivera
I’m an introverted person. Many claim to be, but have no idea. She’s playing softball, and that’s good. It’s not going to be any different no matter how many social activities she does. I can go a million places and talk with a million people, and I meet no one. It’s all in my head.
When the harsh realities of life crush her innocence, be there for her. If she’s not yet unhappy, why change her? Maybe she’ll want to change one day, and won’t know how.
Jordan Moore
Nope she seems fully content on just leaving her for "when she gets ready to be social".
Nope she's shown no aspirations or a job desires other than she wants to work at foot locker for her first job as opposed to mcdonalds.
Father is separated she only sees him once every blue moon.
Zachary Reyes
Sorry but I'd rather her make the effort to be social than none at all. Softball doesn't make much room to be social unless you make the effort to go beyond the sport to be social. Better her for to at least get used to the idea of talking to people her age and attempting to be social than not at all.
I'm just worried that she'll just allow herself to be shut in within herself(Because her mother allows her to) and when it's time for her to HAVE NO CHOICE but to get out there among other people she's going to be too socially inept be able to stand on her too feet.
Oh yes Did I mention that she also has absolutely ZERO friends at all? This is the BIG BIGGEST cause behind why I'm worried about her.
Isaac Mitchell
I think the easiest thing you can do at this point is suggest she get a penpal. It's going to be a real uphill battle if she has no inclination of socialising at all
Zachary Hughes
Are there any book clubs she could join? The average age is probably going to be far greater than 16 but it may serve as a stepping stone to socialising outside her friends and family.
Camden Gonzalez
Hmmm I considered that but I don't know if there are book clubs with genre specific limits.
She only reads detective(Specifically Sherlock holmes) or adventure books, I wouldn't want her to go into book club and feel alienated by the subjects of books they may showcase.
Evan Davis
P.S. If she had friends to socialize with at ALL I wouldn't be this concerned.
Joshua Hill
>adventure books Has she herself expressed some desire to live out an "adventure" of her own?
Noah Rivera
Why would they bully her? Is she ugly? Is she abow 5/10?
Wyatt Morris
Only lightly She has but she feels as a kid she couldn't get any adventures beyond going on family vacations so she just shrugs it off and goes back into her bubble.
Brayden Hill
Because kids to this day can still be cruel and they look for any excuse to pick on someone who may seem weak and an easy target especially if someone is quiet and withdrawn which my cousin is.
Still doesn't change the fact that either way she would have to learn to face bullies anyway
Josiah Rodriguez
right, forgot. Does she seem like she has any interest in writing? Do you think she would have any interest in a writing class?
Oliver Bailey
I think you’re a good person for worrying about her, but she’s gonna know you all think she’s abnormal, which probably won’t make her feel confident or good about herself, which will just fuel her isolation.
It’s hard to know the right thing to do, but being good at work gave me the confidence to act normal with people around me. Maybe encourage her to get a part time job right away. For me, it took me a year or two working with other people full time before I was able to open up to some of them.
Grayson Powell
I've never seen her write anything beyond school work. I could politely give her a minor writing assignment to see how she would take it. I do recall hearing that she likes to write reviews for books she reads on some childrens site.
Xavier Jackson
That's just it, she's not abnormal, it's her mother who is allowing her to be in an abnormal situation and causing her to think that it's perfectly acceptable when it has limits.
I am definitely going to suggest that she start looking into getting a job for sure,preferably one where she can be around kids her age since in addition to her slowly opening up there's a higher chance of her interacting at work than during softball.
James Hughes
Well I can only express from my own experience as a friendless shut-in, but I've always wanted a cool Chad onii-chan that'd take me on a trip across Europe or something. I've never let anybody know about it though. Maybe she is the same?