Man I've been dating for 3 years suddenly wants kids. Had to end things with him and it's destroyed me mentally. I'm now extremely paranoid and don't know how to get back to dating. I feel like every guy is going to catch baby rabies in his mid 30s and end up leaving me.
Man I've been dating for 3 years suddenly wants kids. Had to end things with him and it's destroyed me mentally...
Have you fucked since?
somewhere a jew is rubbing his hands together giddily
No, I have not. I'm not comfortable with sex outside of a committed relationship.
You lucky fucking cunt, I'm in the sex reverse of this rn. Won't get on bc and I can't use a condom so i just been pulling out but i bet it only matter of time.
Enjoy your wall
Gonna complain that you cant find anyone to impregbate you in few years huh
Dumb whore
Require a vasectomy upfront or lie to dudes and tell them you've already had your tubes tied and will never adopt. My bf knows for a fact I'm never having kids and that he'd be wasting his time waiting for me to change my mind and we've been cool for over 5 years so idk. I still have this fear too, though, you can never really know. Sorry OP, good luck
That situation is in no way the reverse you mongoloid.
I'm not lucky for being in the same situation and not being a dumbass about it. You're the one who gets to choose whether you reproduce or not.
I told him I was getting my tubes removed in a couple of years. Can't find a surgeon who will perform the surgery. He was adamantly childfree and suddenly did a 180.
Why don’t you want kids?
Nah. Fuck off and admit that you men are baby crazy.
Schizophrenia and Alzheimer's runs in my family, I have a phobia of pregnancy, I enjoy having a degree of freedom in my life, I lack maternal instincts, I had abusive parents, the list goes on.
This thread can't be real. Good bait. Women go from baby crazy at 17-20, adjust to their hormones, then go baby crazy again 30-40 because they realize their time is running out.
Men never want kids, you lie.
Very spicy bait. Have a (You)
Wtf do you mean men choose, bc can fail, condoms can fail, pull out works for some people but not all, ect. I would say the majority of babies aren't planned and seems like the people who do plan ironically have a tougher time getting it done, guarantee all of you were mistakes
Don't. Have. Sex. With. Her.
Leave.
It's what I did. You can do it too. I'm not saying you have contraceptive options, I'm saying you have reproductive options.
That's crazy, you must have felt so blindsided, I'm so sorry to hear it went like that. reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/doctors has a list of doctors that are more likely to listen to your concerns and respect your choice, sorry if you've already seen it, hope you can find someone to perform the procedure for you.
Pretty sure i'm in love with her though, of this was just fuck buddy wouldn't bring it up. She said shes getting on iud in a couple weeks but it may already be 2 late, ironically find out in 2 weeks when she gets period, or doesnt.
Seek counseling unless you want to be self-destructive forever. You just ended a 3 year relationship over some twisted reasoning.
Thank you for your concern. I appreciate it. I used to be pretty active on r/childfree but quit reddit as a whole when everyone got too political. I'll likely be able to find a doctor once I move but there are only doctors who will perform vasectomies in my area.
>"Some twisted reasoning"
I don't want kids. He does. How do you compromise on that? You can't have half of a kid.
Okay, then be unhappy instead of taking advice.
You sound like somebody who's more on the fence about kids than anything. Trust me, if you really didn't want kids you wouldn't pull and pray.
Try going your ENTIRE sexually active life with girls on bc going raw then suddenly have to use them. They are aeful. Even the thin ones you don't feel a fucking thing. It's not sex. Anyone who thinks it is hasn't gone raw in a good pussy.
Also, I've been going to therapy for 2 years. It actually took me a long time to even have sex because of my phobia. No amount of therapy is going to make me like kids. It's just not going to happen.
You could discuss it over a week while abstaining instead of jumping out of the plane. Maybe you did, its not coming off like that.
People change their minds.
>I feel like every guy is going to catch baby rabies in his mid 30s and end up leaving
Most certainly will. You should hop on board or stop dating altogether.
Meaning he may change his mind not you.
I waited a month for him to think things over, but told him that ultimately if he wanted a family in the future that things were over between us and I simply can't provide that for him. It's been a week since we ended things now.
Why would any rational person stay with him? He just showed that he is a flipflopper, staying with him would just be a waiting game until he changed his mind again. Too wishy washy, she's better off starting anew
Damn, well some people just don't know or lie about it assuming they can convince you. You did the right thing and gave him several weeks more than I would have.
It could have been outside pressure from his family or just stupidity. My fiancé and I are both getting the treatment from both sides, its not happening until after college so they can keep dreaming.
How old are you?
Honestly, he's the only guy I've ever been with and I was kind of falling into the sunk cost fallacy. I do still love him but things just won't work out and we'd both end up miserable if we stayed together.
I'm 24, he was 32.
you don't want them or can't have them.
Read the rest of the thread. I don't feel like answering the same questions 5 times. (Sorry if that comes across as rude)
This.
You're supposed to have kids. That's what you are here for. Ask yourself what's wrong with you, why would you not want kids with a man you love and have been with for 3 years?
ah my bad. Honestly I'd steer clear of anything permanent just in case you change your mind later down the line. Other than that just date young guys who I guarantee do not want kids
>You're supposed to have kids. That's what you are here for.
Nobody is here for any reason. We're all just the side effect of our parents fucking. There's no special meaning to it. It's just how it is. If I don't want kids, I don't have kids. End of story.
Also, as stated previously, schizophrenia runs in my family. Not only that, but he's also schizophrenic. It's hard enough just getting by day to day. I constantly have to keep track of his medication and ensure he isn't hiding anything from me. I don't wish that on any human being. It's pretty much guaranteed that any kids we'd have would be schizophrenic. So even if I wanted kids, it's for the best that we don't.
>I'm 24, he was 32.
OP, not sure if you're retarded or just simply stupid.
I will explain it as simple as I can so your tiny brain can handle it.
Guys in their 30's want kids. He already lived his life, fucked girls, bought everything he wanted, he now wants to settle down.
Date guys closer to your age and do crazy shit with them. Live out your life instead of dating guys 10 years older than you. Of course they want to have kids and settle down.
Better to waste 3 years than 10. I don't want to do "crazy shit." I just want to live a simple life and devote myself to my partner and nobody else.
Misery was the direction, that's too big of a difference.
There is no rush. Don't assume because he's younger he doesn't want kids like these others are saying. He may not really even know what he wants.
>I just want to live a simple life and devote myself to my partner
Why not have kids then? What the fuck are you going to do in a simple life other than raising kids? Watching netflix?
Actually nevermind, don't have kids
found your ex op
Kids aren't your partner. Look at any marriage with kids and they pretty much forget their partner even exists. They work 9/5 so that their shitgoblins can afford to eat, end up with dead bedrooms, never have any time for each other. And no, we wouldn't watch Netflix you oaf. My partner and I would regularly work on projects together, visit workshops, go to the shooting range. He was teaching me to program too. I'd make him meals and look after him when he was going through psychosis. It was a really great life we had together.
>work on projects together
>visit workshops
>shooting range
>teaching me to program
>I'd make him meals
Literally nothing that you can't do with 26 yo dude.
My point is:
If you date 16 yo, it's still a kid
If you date 22 yo, expect him not to have any wealth
If you date 32 yo, expect him to have children
If you date 58 yo, expect him to be less and less active with each year.
Each age has its' own ups and downs and you gotta accept that. Literally every unmarried/childless guy in his 30's that you're going to date will ask you for children. You can't run away from it.
I'd rather not date at all then. I don't see the point in dating a guy if you're just going to break it off in 10-15 years. I can probably find some guy who's had a vasectomy eventually. At that point they're dedicated enough to it.
vasectomies kill your mojo, baby
A vasectomy removes a portion of the vas deferens. It doesn't effect your balls at all.
Sounds like you found a solution. Your ideal partner does not exist. Even your truest love will be flawed, but that applies to every one.
I don't want to accept that.
Kill yourself you defective piece of equipment, nasty cunt.
You seem pretty salty for somebody who likely uses my tax dollars.
>Literally every guy in his 30s will want kids.
You're clearly not in your 30s. Every guy I know is as excited about having kids anytime soon as they are to start eating someone else's shit.
In this day and age, more and more people are recognizing that kids suck for a multitude of reasons. I'm personally torn on kids, but leaning no.
If your reason for having kids is "I wouldn't have anything else to do," you live a boring life.
>I'm not comfortable with sex outside of a committed relationship.
Did you ever have sex outside, or are you just guessing?
Btw, serial monogamists are the worst, the casual sex crowd is at least honest with themselves
That's not how schizophrenia works. Your kid would be likely to develop schizophrenia, but if you actually raise your kid right in a stable environment, then that won't happen. Same with literally any other mental illness.
become lesbean
The more you disclose the more it looks like you have deep seated issues that are going to infect every facet of your life. Issues you have regardless of whether you have 0 babies or 10 of them.
Seek a good therapist, Im not trolling you. Ive been raised in a manipulative household and just got over 10 years of depression and 5 years of anxiety attacks. I wasnt even aware that I had negatively reinforced my own views due to past experiences and those planted seeds that wrecked my work performance and relationships.
Youre not a futile roneryfag, theres still turning back.
You dont have to accept biology, it just is.
In any case you will hit 30 and start reconsidering. Its a part of a womens biological drive because after 35 their eggs have greater chance of babies with health risk and one day those eggs will dry up completely. And like other user said most people men and women are done fucking around at 30.
Men want kids after 30 IF they are stable and make good money. Before that or if they are unstable they dont want kids
itt disgusting breeders
My older brother developed schizophrenia in his early teens and never suffered any form of abuse.
My aunt never had children and is quite happy about it. She's pretty much the only sane member of my family. Most of our relatives that are around my age have 3+ kids, are strung out drug addicts, alcoholics, or all of the above.
read in here somewhere that you’re still in your early 20s
i suggest dating someone closer to your age so that both of you are on the same page about child rearing
men that don’t want children exist (despite people in this thread telling you otherwise)
in terms of getting your tubes tied, i recommend waiting until around 30 just in case baby fever happens to set in (which happened to me despite me absolutely fucking hating children)
i never ended up having kids because i have severe anxiety/depression and didn’t want to pass it on to my kid. my husband is also a schizophrenic so i understand completely the concerns you have there
children aren’t for everyone. best of luck to you mate
Thank you for your understanding. I'm still going to seek out a bilateral salpingectomythough, because I still have trouble with intimacy due to my phobia. Could only do it with 4 different contraceptive methods (condoms, spermicide, the pill, and pullout) and even then I'd still obsess over it until I got my period.
I've never had casual sex. I've only ever been with my ex.
The point of life is to survive and multiply. Every molecule and cell in your body has evolved with those prime directives in mind since we were a primordial soup spawned from the gases of a cooling ball of molten rock. There is no bigger way to fail at life then to not procreate. A multi-billionaire genius inventor that dies without having created children is a complete failure compared to a single mother raising six kids all from different fathers while working three jobs and still just scraping by while living in a downtrodden shithole.
That's your personal opinion. I want to enjoy my life and not spawn. I don't care if you consider me to be a failure.
It's a biological fact.
Enjoyment will fade eventually and you will want more out of life. Don't do anything that isn't reversible when it comes to your body. There's a pretty fucking good reason why trannies that cut their dicks off end up killing themselves. Just get an abortion or send your kid away to be adopted if you somehow manage to get one against your will.
I can guarantee you I would kill myself if I ever got pregnant. Only 3% of childless women ever regret sterilization. Stop pretending it's a 90% likelihood.
Sounds like you have some severe mental issues that you haven't dealt with. You should see a therapist to help you deal with them rather than fleeing from your issues.
I'm also calling bullshit on those percentages, either that or it's some potent denial happening. Not that strange since permanent contraception is essentially a form of suicide.
Read the thread. I already got therapy for it, for over 2 years. Didn't do anything for me. Also, trannies don't regret cutting off their dicks because they can't have kids. They regret it because they cut off their fucking dicks and are now freaks without proper genitals. They can still have children if they chose to freeze sperm for later.
>permanent contraception is essentially a form of suicide.
Oh fuck off. My relatives have plenty of kids. There's people running around that share 99.8% of my DNA already. Imagine being this obsessed about an arrangement of proteins.
Well since you seem really adamant about it. At least do yourself the favor and get a mature oocyte cryopreservation prior to the procedure. Better safe than sorry. Especially for decisions like this.
I'm not paying $20,000 so that a potential shitgoblin can have half my genes. By your logic why don't I just donate my eggs and get paid to be "successful"?
>Imagine being this obsessed about an arrangement of proteins.
That's a weird way of looking at genetic lineage. The real reason is because when you have a baby together your baby fucking looks like you and your partner. That's the real joy of it you have a child that has a mix of your features most people are not overly concerned with whether their great great great great grandchildren will have kids too.
I really don't see the point. Seems like a dumb novelty. I look nothing like my parents.
>why don't I just donate my eggs and get paid
Why don't you?
Because I don't want a giant needle stuck through my vagina. I'm fine with them slicing 3 holes in me if it means my tubes will be gone but the process of hormone therapy does not seem fun.
A small price to pay, all things considered.
I'd also have to get paid under the table. (It's illegal to be paid for donating organs and other things produced by the body) In the end it's too much work.