Dump my Hobbies?

Long story short

>Into vidya and tabletop gaming
>when growing up, saw players of both hobbies
>most low income and socially poor
>said I would not end up like them
>slowly becoming like them
>been single, virgin etc

I genuinely enjoy collecting and painting my tg hobby but I know in my hearts of hearts years of video games and, to a much lesser extent, tabletop games has hurt my personal and social growth.

I do have a degree and Masters but still as indecisive about my future as 8 years ago and currently doing ESL teaching as a means to experience living abroad and help me mature.

A part of me feels that dropping these hobbies will help me catch up with my social and personal growth. But I sincerely, at least with my warhammer minis, enjoy making, painting and playing. Also too video games somewhat.

But I know in my heart that if I had spent my time on other things, I could likely have my life sorted out by now, or closer. That fills me with regret and guilt. So I am not sure what to do.

Thanks for reading and any advice would be appreciated.

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Probably bullshit. Literally everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, has something that they “waste” time on. Even the most productive and social people watch tv, play on their phone, etc. You actually have something that serves as a creative outlet and is social. And it sounds like you mostly have your shit together. So how exactly are your hobbies holding you back? What would you be better off doing instead?

>what would you be better off doing instead?

Learning finance or something of the sort. Expanding my extraordinarily limited diet. Exercising. Committing more time to learning a language. I just feel lost.

>sounds like you got your shit together

Yes and no. Family is lovely, no drink or drugs or smoke from me or them but my career is non existent and other more troubling thoughts have come to me. Lioe today I went to a club and some racey yet attractive women came to us. Long story short they were prostitites and i felt very tempted.

My lack of financial and personal development, poor social skills, still no girlfriend (this is not a psychotic obession in losing virginity, just lack of intimate partnership) on top of that, just makes me feel all those years wasted. I am very immature for my age and I have aspirations and fantasies of being confident and succesful, suit wearing businessman in my youth.

But now I am an ESL teacher temporarily and will likely just end up a lecturer and continue stagnating. It is hard for me to express all of it in text as there are a few other things, but the overall is regret and what if?

If you are going to loose your virginity tpwith paying, so it proper with a high class escort so at least it will be a nice experience.

Also 40k or aos or t9a?

Dont regret user, you should already be exercising for example. Dont quit tg but so other stuff as well. Tg stuff brought me many friends and essentially made me travel several countries attending tournaments. And if i play my cards right i can even earn a living from it.

I would have been happy with just new people, i got a wholenew life instead. Enjoy the good parts but improve your lifes other aspects as well.

What you need is to get on the love game, my good man.
That doesn't mean you have to throw everything in the dump. Just spend a little less time on the nerd stuff and more time flirting. The rest of it is just stuff. It's not even good stuff. The whole rich kid in a suit fantasy is never going to be you, and you should be rightly grateful.

It was and does remain tempting. But I have always been reserved and "principalled" (read: did nothing big or exciting) and honestly, I love my family. I want to feel what its like to have sex with a beautiful woman but I couod not look them in the eye. Furthermore my grandparents too.

>40k, aos or

Blood Bowl and recently building kill team. I feel less bad about tabletop cause at least it is tangible. Video i got nothing to show. But socially I am on two sides.

1. I was always introverted so at least I picked up a hobby or 2. I see others involved in vidya and tg and a lot are in personal cases id rather not be. Also for social, tabletop did not help me that much (but did give my best friend and I wonderful memories) but video did. Granted I was 8 years older thsn some but still, again socially under developed.

It is hard not to regret. It is cyclical. I always fancied myself as ending up hard working and succesful but my circumstances see that as unlikely. So i reflect on how i spent my years and feel guilt.

I guess it is me projecting what I see as my faults onto my hobbies and what I could have been otherwise

This shit probably isn't the problem. The problem is how you manage your time. Read the power of habit and learn how to better manage yourself.

I think it's much more important to focus on what you're doing instead, and just let your hobbies suffer naturally, rather than trying to abstain; unless you're seriously addicted you don't have to make a hard choice between quitting or wasting your life on it.

Dont feel guilt user, i was literally in the same boat as you, still am. The high class escort suggestion comes from experience for example. I did feel like i shouldnt do it, but felt like not getting it done hampered me a lot so i did in the most proper way i can think of.

I had to waste several years and feel pretty bad sometimes to come to here. But now i am turning this franchise around, i started working out getting dressed better and reconnecting with old friends. People are not noticing my gains and finding me more relaxed. Do i have still have troubles? Sure but one step at a time.

now noticing my gains**

Playing Warhammer and everything is absolutely fine. Just because escaping into fantasy world correlates with being a loser doesn’t mean that indulging in fantasy is bad. Either way, a mature person will can put down video games and tabletop gaming without going into some kind of dangerous withdrawal.

I've learned this as well OP.

After long enough, I finally realized how fucking pointless multiplayer video games are.
Me and my friends bond much better when we go out and actually do things rather than playing games online with each other.

Go develop a new skill that you can use in life, find a hobby that stimulate more than one part of your life (for example, swimming can both be fun and a workout, learning to paint is both fun and a creative outlet that is more accessible than TTG), learn to maintain your body through exercise and cooking. These things here will keep you active and growing as an individual.

Easiest thing I'd say to get started on is learning some basic recipes, meal prepping for a week, and start some jogging.

Taking some official classes (no online) in some hobbies will help you keep the motivation up and can open social opportunities.

I'd say keep TTG too, but just allocate less time to it. You still enjoy it, so I wouldn't shun it completely from you life.

Well I am on here and yes to a great extent I was addicted to video games and to a far, far lesser extent still am. Same with porn but due to moving abroad it has subsided a fair degree. It certainly hit my academic performance. If not for the support of my family id be a dead beat.

At least one of us is doing good. When I was growing up, for context, I was a snobby little shit. Felt like cause of my family that auto made me a better person. Still a nerdy git but a snobby one. Also went through a phase of hating groups) things and only recently trying to patch up a "political rant" phase where I would not shut the fuck up over how X and Y ard horrible and should etc ala pol lite.

But to relate it back, I see people involved in vidya and tabletop and I just don"t want to end up where a lot of them, to me, seem to: unhappy, "bad" jobs etc. But its looking that way. I do have very poor impulse control when it comes to my time management. Hell i am on here at 4:13 am.

Tabletop does not give me withdrawal. I don't think it has ever been addictive (bar one bad game of dice so lets play another but thats a video version of it) except daydreaming obsessively. Video games though,most certainly have.

Escort user here,

Look user, you will have to slowly change course. 1 degree at a time. The other anons are right about cooking your own food and doing small stuff of taking back control of your life.

Go out with friends, meet new people. But break your cycle.

I have to go now, if you want to talk more contact me on kik " pgtfg " or i will be back in several hours.

You can improve user, i am rooting for you.

Dude, read the power of habit. Or find a summary online. He gives a step by step guide and breaking bad habits.

Thanks user for both your advice and offer. Granted I am afraid I wont taje you up on the kik offer but thank you sincerely. I will do my best.

I will check it. My thanks.

>Expanding my extraordinarily limited diet. Exercising. Committing more time to learning a language
How do these things help you "sort your life out"?

By being healthier and having an applicable skill essentially.

A limited diet is not necessarily unhealthy.

They won't make you less of an introvert.

I am very skinny though and it is very limited.

True but would make me more productive.