>29 years old >ESL teacher in china >went abroad for personal experience >nerd, play video games >virgin >don't drink or smoke or drugs >out last night in bar drinking soda >place is filled with hookers >some look very nice >reminded of std in back of mind but still feel tempted
I am not looking to simply lose my virginity for the sake of it nor have an obsession about losing it. But being a reserved and nice person has got me no where and quite frankly I am not boyfriend material.
But I do want to know what sex feels like and having a nice woman physically. Obviously I would take the usual cautions with a rubber and such but I am nearing 30 and in my current state my relationship status is going to be single.
Two things are keeping me from trying
>the guilt >breaking my principles
I don't think I could feel wholesome around my family if I did it. That and supposedly those who have gone ahead and done what I am considering have said it feels empty.
The second is, I may not be outgoing but I do have my principles. I don't cheat, lie and am as honest and polite as I can in public.
But I am getting frustrated seeing no real progress emotionally or intimately for myself or with others.
Why do you not feel good enough to be boyfriend material? Why do you have to be someone's boyfriend to have sex with them?
Adam Rivera
Few simple factors but essentially
Reserved personality by nature Not "confident" in the social sense Limited, niche interests Small 5'3 Hobbies are not very sociable Nerdy No career established Not much money Ethnically Asian (which has dual issue in west and eastern countries as I cannot speak anything but English)
Also experience with what little I have. Girls say "you are smart" or "you are nice". Not bad in principle but clearly not interested on a romantic level. Which i get as I have near null experience with romance so its like i bring a club to a tennis game.
Asher Edwards
Bump
Wyatt Diaz
nothing he mentioned makes him boyfriend material, let's be honest. No offense OP, I'm the same.
Sebastian Rivera
Have sex with a hooker and get it over with. You're already here asking for advice so it's clearly weighing on you.
Owen Perez
Yeah I get you.
My main concern is StDs or getting mugged as well as feeling guilt. I just do not know.
Andrew Hall
>too pussy to drink alcohol You should get a bullet in your brain
Nathaniel Cruz
>STDs or getting mugged If you get a cheap one like a dumbass. Escorts are cleaner than normal people since their cleanliness makes or breaks their job
Thomas Jenkins
I actually just have no preference towards it. I can get giddy off sugar and not wake up with my head exploding.
Don't know where to start for chinese escorts.
Samuel Gonzalez
Know that it isn't going to change much outside of removing the stigma of being a virgin.
It's not gonna fix loneliness. It didn't for me.
Isaiah Reed
It's weird, we're both almost the exact same. Same exact height, asian, nerdy, don't drink, do drugs etc etc. but I got extremely lucky and found a young qt3.14 gf at the ripe age of 29 (33 now) as a complete fluke. I even got a hooker before I met my gf (around 27ish?) and it sucked ass honestly. If you have any self awareness, you'll be overcome with feelings of how pathetic you are for this being your first experience. I did feel really guilty afterwards. I also feel bad that me and my now-gf couldn't lose our virginities together. Maybe that's something to think about, but if you're anything like me you probably have already (understandably) gave up in that department. I can honestly say, afterwards (reminder this was still pre-gf) I felt like I would've rather died a virgin. Maybe that's just my "pride" though.
Anthony Campbell
I have no issue with being a virgin. I just want to be with a gorgous girl and have sex with her, feel what its like and get rod of all the pent up lust.
But since you have done it, did you feel guilty? Did you feel bad hiding it from your family? How did you find the experience?
Isaiah Rogers
Thanks friend. It is nice to know someone is in a similar department. I guess in a weird work around I was going to go to a bar and *try* to pick up a girl than outright whore monger but still considered if offered.
Would you suggest I just wait it out then? But damn its already hard imagining getting a gf to begin with.
Evan Perry
Honestly I'm not going to tell you that you're gonna find a gf because I don't know. Literally everyone I know calls it a miracle I got mine and I'm not even offended because it's true. All I'm saying is that the shame wasn't worth the sex, even disregarding my feelings about not giving it to my gf instead. It probably depends on your own morals, but I'm just making assumptions because we seem strikingly similar. Only you can really be the judge because we don't know you personally. If you're that pent up and have the money, maybe compromise and just get a blowjob and see how you feel? kek. Not actually sure if it'd make a difference in the guilt unless you did serious mental gymnastics though.
Cameron Ward
Forgot to link.
Elijah Diaz
We are similar it sounds like. If the shame is that bad then maybe I will look at alternatives. But it is pretty hard as is finding friends here, let alone girlfriends due to language. But thanks for the sound advice.
Evan Mitchell
Good luck user. I think maybe if you could just pull a normal ONS instead like you said, you probably wouldn't feel as bad (if at all). Easier said than done though, of course.
Anthony Garcia
Cheers and thanks for putting a nice patch on my issue. ONS is fine morally as far as I am concerned, we will see how it goes first. We will be starting to go to bars soon so heres hopes. My sincere thanks man.
Chase Gomez
"I fucked a prostitute" I want you to keep that thought in mind. Would you want that memory?
Nathan Robinson
What principles do you have that say “don’t fuck prostitutes”? If that’s not something you do, don’t do it.
The experience is nothing special. The first time almost always sucks, and you don’t join some greater section of humanity who suddenly “get it”. If your sexual desires are going unfulfilled, get some better toys and/or a back massager. (Depending on local law) Otherwise, don’t put so much weight on to the idea of sticking your penis in to an actual vagina.
If you want a relationship, put some effort in to meeting people and discreetly finding out who’s available and who isn’t. The first step of being comfortable with another person is being comfortable with yourself. Get comfortable with the idea that you may be a bachelor for the rest of your life, and that’s ok.
Josiah Hernandez
why not, have fun.
Gabriel Cook
There is literally no country on earth where it's easier to get laid than in china mate
