I wouldn't call myself a stunner or a Chad but I guess I'm okay looking. I have a variety of pictures on my profile - selfies, pictures of me socialising, full body shots. My bio is concise but enough detail in there. Basically I've been making the effort.
I do alright for matches. Again, probably nowhere near Chad Thundercock but a reasonable amount.
But every time I message any girl I match with, regardless of how well worded and engaging my opener is, 9 times out of 10 I get no replies. And the 1 time out of 10 I do, the girl just suddenly stops replying.
the point of the app is for females to get validation by seeing how many people swipe right on them, and for a few top-tier looking men to get laid whenever they want.
This. I have seen my tinder dates with 1000+ matches, as they just swipe right anywhere they go just for validation. Also I have read somewhere that attractive guys are actually the ones getting the least dates on this app for some reason. This app is shit and I don't understand why people would still use it, for me it's over.
I know a couple of guys who are now in relationships with girls they've met on Tinder. While far from ugly and could probably not have much trouble picking up girls IRL, they're not male model tier, and their girlfriends are actually quite decent. What is the secret of their power.
this. In a way it's porn for women, it boasts a HUGE attention buff. Otherwise, it's used by men to maintain their sex addictions with attractive 18 year olds instead of Asian massage hookers.
I get a match every couple of days. They’re never better than a 6. Does this mean I’m a 6?
I rarely match with anyone higher than a 7.
Even the fucking 3s and 4s rarely ever respond.
>attractive guys get the least dates Do you know where you read this? I've had a number of flakes on here and I wondered why. I always assumed it was my "game" but recently I suspected it was something about them being anxious about meeting me, and me not liking them. I don't use the app anymore anyways.
Months ago this complete stunner matched me, and when I swiped right she messaged me an hour later saying she could die happy because she matched with somebody so handsome. I'm like a 6-7 at best myself if /soc/ ranks and what Jow Forums thinks are a good looking guy (tall, Caucasian, buff - none of which are me), so I was taken aback but happy...until she ghosted me after a few weeks of good communication. But I've had other good looking women and also really overweight ones and single moms match me, so idk what to tell you, I don't think looksmatching is really a thing.
You can tell the really unattractive girls swipe right on anyone.
Even the unattractive girls have had their egos inflated by online dating because some schmuck will fuck them no matter how fat and ugly they are.
I hate to say it but you're right. Guys are not rewarded with sex and affection by women if they're uber beta nice guys that bring nothing to the table, but women can download Tinder and get laid the same night.
>a few weeks of good communication.
I’ve never done tinder, but having done a number of dates from OKC, POF, etc. (currently 3+ years in to a relationship from it): that’s fucking long.
In my experience, when it comes to dating sites/apps, the longer you chat with someone, the less likely you are to ever actually meet them.
Why? In my opinion it’s either because they’re the type that was on the fence about meeting anyone anyway, and it gives them waaay too big a gap to recondite and overthink.
Or you basically made yourself boring and took away your ability to connect. 80% of all human communication is non-verbal, and all of that is completely lost over text.
That non-verbal shit is also exactly all the kind of shit that people tend to bond over and draw “gut feelings” off of.
Without that all you just did was dump a watered down 1/5th of the information you normally do, over the same period of time, with nearly none of that being what actually catches people’s attention. Even if your content is interesting, you’re basically just a block of text with nothing for them to bond with. You may as well be an interactive article or random forum poster for all the attachment that you build up.
Even if you *do* meet up, the longer you talk online, usually the less topics you have to bind over when you do meet, which basically hurts your chances since you’re effectively starting at 0 bond built having to build up with less potential topics.
Well to elaborate, I matched with her when I was on a business trip in a town 100 or so miles away. Normally I wouldve asked for a number and scheduled a date within a few days, but scheduling a meeting at that distance is tough. In fact, the distance might be part of the reason she ghosted, even though she would drunk text and ask when my next day off was so she could see me. Probably for the best.
yeah texting is bullshit. thats why i plan on doing good old speed dating. costs a bit more but at least allows some body work. really not interested in making 1000 attempts over tinder.
Me again and just waned to say nowadays, I completely agree about the texting stuff. A very long time ago while in HS, I was chatting with a girl online for months who lived in Europe (I'm a burger) and eventually went to go see. We had so little chemistry in person and it was so awkward, we both got on computers in separate rooms and I broke up with her that way. I share this because I'm no stranger to the destructive habits of using text as a primary form of communication (this girl wouldn't even talk to me on Skype and I asked for it several times. When I was in her country, she spent a lot of time ignoring me and skyping another guy she ended up marrying and then divorcing, though).
Nowadays, I try to avoid texting to communicate very intimate things and would rather see them in person. The most I do is ask when I'll be seeing them next after a brief exchange. A lot of my peers get to texting/DM'ing/snapchatting people they're seeing for weeks or even months, all day every day, That would drive me crazy now, but I used to be just like that too.
yep. just responding to emphasize just how important it is to understand this. texting is bad and should only be a vehicle for better communication methods.
Yup. Humans were attracting each other and mating just fine before LANGUAGE was even a thing. Think about that for a second.
I'm white, doesn't help.
Its just luck
Eh, at least you get matches. My ugly ass can't even get a like. It kinda degraded my self worth
In the beginning, it was a hook up app. Eventually, it because a dating app. Now, it is a validation app. It's not even like these women are showing up for a free meal and never contacting again, they don't even want that most of the time. I got lucky enough and found a girl that actually wanted to date and have been dating her for a couple of months but out of around a hundred matches in a few months she was only one of two that seemed genuinely interested. The girl I'm dating now, she showed me her Tinder to kinda make fun of some other guy she matched with, and I didn't see the number of matches she had but she could have kept scrolling for a while and had just a ton of messages she never even bothered to open. It was insane. Like, why would you even match with someone if you weren't gonna respond to them?
Youre dating a fucking disaster
I'd tell you guys the secret but I don't want to increase my competition.
get better photos
Try grinder. That sounds more like your style.
I live very far away from you, just tell me.
Maybe, but she's hot and fun and sweet.
Yeah me too. Most men on there are white.
I just don't get it. Last night I matched with a girl who was pretty, but a little bit chubby. Sent her a message, nothing. And that's from a fat girl.
Meanwhile in real life I've had a couple of girls who are genuinely at least 8/10 approach me at bars and clubs. Doesn't happen often, but it's still happened.
I don't get it. Pulling a fat girl on Tinder is harder than pulling a stunner in real life? What gives?
i have 130+ matches on tinder. in the last 3 weeks i've pretty much ghosted a lot of girls due to a new job which is stressful
you dont need that many pictures. just use 4-5. make sure they give off the vibe of what type of person u "are"
>Basically I've been making the effort. thats the issue. you wanna make medium effort. enough to not be creepy but not treating it like a job resume
far as openers. I used to get a lot of responses asking them whats their most unpopular opinion or most fav thing in the world but honestly if ur goal is to get laid. literally in the first message tell them ur looking for something casual. it weeds out the girls looking for a texting buddy who they might let you take them out just so when you meet in-person she can call you boring because you spent a whole week texting about your life and ran out of shit to say>Pulling a fat girl on Tinder is harder than pulling a stunner in real life? What gives? look maybe she was busy or had too many guys messaging her. stop caring so much. Im a guy and i barely respond to girls either. she wants the validation maybe
next match u get. tell them ur looking for something casual
Unless you are a very good looking guy, with great pictures and an instagram page with 1000+ followers, tinder is probably gonna be disappointing to you. Sure, you might get the odd date or the odd hookup if you're lucky and you have good texting game. But nowadays, the only guys who get regular success on tinder are top tier dudes. You're talking about the 10th percentile of guys in terms of looks and status.
I once had a tinder date with a girl who was like a 6/10 at best. I was even considering flaking on the date because i didn't like her that much initially. But i was like whatever i'll just meet up with her. She told me she had 950 matches in roughly 6 months of using the app. Fucking ludicrous. And i'm talking about a bang-average woman. Imagine how many matches and messages hot girls get on this app.
>She told me she had 950 matches in roughly 6 months of using the app. Fucking ludicrous. And i'm talking about a bang-average woman This is really because a guy will see her and think "oh shit, 6/10, I totally have a chance here." And he won't realize that hundreds of other guys are thinking the exact same thing. Women get the upper hand on these dating apps because men give it to them. I'm pretty sure that if guys were pickier, women would stop being so picky.
Yeah but that's the point. Unless you are a top-tier dude, getting a hot girl on a date with you is pretty much mission impossible. But even snagging an average woman is difficult because even they get countless of matches and messages.
Bottom line, don't rely on dating apps. You're way better off getting out of your basement and approaching them in person.
online dating works. but u need to only go for ur niche im /mu/ so i only swipe right on /mu/core girls and it works for me
> u need to only go for ur niche This is what I'm saying about guys needing to be more picky. Not just see a girl and think "oh, I have a chance with that" but actually think "what do I have to offer? (i.e. the entire point of your bio) who would want that? (i.e. the entire point of her bio)" and go based on that. Obviously you have to find the girl attractive too but if that's the only thing or even the main thing you're looking at then you're probably not gonna find what you really want.
yeah this is true. but unfortunately guys think with their dicks instead. not gonna lie. even girls who share my similar interest have blown me off for guys who were hot and had nothin in common with them
In theory this works. In reality its tricky because most guys on the apps still act like thirsty beta men.
Have a friend who got close to 2000 matches while in another country. Ended up banging and then marrying the hottest guy she found. Talks about how out of her league she is but the only good thing about him is his looks. He is apparently way too arrogant and pretty rude but she puts up with it because he is a "model". So not all women have great standards or boundaries either.
I've had the same experience above with cuter girls. They seem more receptive. I think maybe some of them are more grounded and more approachable than the average ones who try way too hard to bar outta their league. If a super cute girl seems keen on you just go for it. If you are secure and confident enough itll be a better relationship than dealing with a neurose ridden, anxiety filled average girl who lacks confidence cause she cant pick between a hot asshole and a stable but average guy who treats her well.
its for the top 20% of guys and top 70% of women
>Or you basically made yourself boring and took away your ability to connect. 80% of all human communication is non-verbal, and all of that is completely lost over text. >That non-verbal shit is also exactly all the kind of shit that people tend to bond over and draw “gut feelings” off of
Also this is why youtube and ig are the best dating sites period. You can actually display yourself
I've found that older girls (28 to 30+) tend to be more responsive and willing to play ball.
Girls in their early to mid twenties though. Not a chance in hell.
What do you guys expect to get out of Tinder? I think a lack of clearly defined expectations is the cause of major frustration from this app. And I think further analysis on those expectations would lead one to realize Tinder is inefficient and not worth using
Sex. But all the girls where I live apparently want a serious relationship, or maybe I am just not hot enough to warrant a hookup. Also I get maybe 20 matches a month, so it's not like I have a big pool to choose from anyway.
What about bumble?
If Tinder is a waste of time like a lot of people think, Bumble is just completely pointless.
>9 times out of 10 I get no replies those are fake accounts to get you some dopamine and keep using the app
>tfw there is no app or service that has a big enough member base or charges 40 dollars a month for those of us attracted to cougars/GILFs
You tinder folks have it easy. My fiance gave me permission to fufill my one sexual regret before marriage by fucking a woman over 50. I have been looking for MONTHS and dropped 80 bucks on basically scam dating/hookup sites that were featured in national news about how successful the cougar/cub scene was. She keeps teasing me because I can't find a horny grandma.
yeah. life in general gets so much better when you push the average age of your surroundings up. i think the main frustration in e-dating comes from people who are in their late 20s or somewhere in 30s. usually the kind of guy who thinks he can pull 18 yo girls as a 35 yo man lmao. stick to your age group and the world looks much comfier suddenly.
tindr is really really vapid and just like... doesn't lead to shit. nobody answers, those who answer ghost, those who don't ghost text, and then stop talking.... it's turned into a bad version of online dating.
So whats the general consensus on what dating apps are good to go? Tinder is a mixed bag, as evidenced by this thread What about POF or OKCupid or suff like that
I had it for 2 weeks and got 0 matches. So maybe it exists to kick those who are already down
No one's ever made that joke before
>Want weeb girls >Hardly any on these damn things
This no app can change the fundamentals of dating. Girls will see men they want to see, and easy access to more men will only increase the probability that it won't be you.
Chad here. I feel like I can explain better how you use the app when you are wanted.
Basically you are used to very fun and engaging interactions in real life. So it's really hard to want to go meet someone from a random app. You just hope someone will stand out and actually seems nice and worthwhile. While waiting for that engaging person on tinder, you just enjoy the ego boost.
Tldr, be yourself, open up, show yourself, show emotions.
people on tinder are super middle class and almost make me believe in the normie meme. they also don’t take the app seriously, because why would they? and women on the app are probably nor devoting the same amount of attention or time to you, becuase they likely have way more matches than you, and guys interested in them in the rl.
if you are looking to get married, try a better app for that. if you want to meet girls casually but with more success, be one of the guys who has testicles to do singles things in real life.
Do you have to be in big cities like New York or Toronto for this app to be useful?
For whatever reason I get WAAAY more matches on Bumble than Tinder with the same photos. Different demographics?
No, Tinder has a huge issue where the top 80% of women go after the top 20% of men mostly, leaving the bottom 80% of men to go after mostly the bottom 20% of women. You're probably better than a 6.
>men >selfie what a retarded. I'm a female and I skip immediately when i see a guy with photos that was clearly taken by himself
>not only dating men who hire personal photographers If it's not a studio shot, he's not worth it!
idk I just prefer guys that have photos taken when they aren't aware about it when the photo is clearly cut to focus on his face
bumble isn't that much better. It's still pretty much tinder except there's an illusion that the girl will put in effort. The reality is that they'll open up with "hi" and leave the rest of the heavy lifting to you
Women and men aren't the same. Men are more willing to take the risk to get the reward. They'll put the work in with conversation in order to convince a girl to meet up. Women are adverse to risk and aren't as interested in the reward. They'll act bored and disinterested because they mostly are bored and disinterested and will only meet up if somebody manages to convince them that it is worth bothering with. I guess it is boring to them because they are typically way less interested in the sex. I guess they enjoy the journey more than the destination? I guess guys are doing this to get laid. Women are doing this to pass time and maybe get laid. You can say that is stupid, women are definitely on these apps to get laid, which is true to a point, but it is different to how a man views it. Men wouldn't use these apps if they didn't get laid. Women would use these apps and getting laid is an added bonus?
One thing I've always found particularly irritating about younger women is that bored, disinterested, I'm too cool for this shit routine that they do. I get it, you've got fuck all going on in your life, you still live at home, you can't drive, you've never had a proper job, you've been on holiday outside the country once and your brain is still developing so you are a bit insecure about that so you need a defence mechanism, but having some enthusiasm about the world isn't something to mock. Oh wow, like ... you actually care care about something? Oh ... sorry ... I thought it was a joke you were doing. Oh wow, that is ... tragic?
Back in the day though I used to be able to play that shit like a master. Yeah I know, it is super lame, but standing around here is even lamer, we are going to go do a thing. So you go do a thing and you keep doing things and you never show your cynical side even though your like bitch I'm only pretending to be having fun to get in your pants I've done this shit a hundred times already and they eventually start having genuine fun and look forward to spending time with you and they are like this dude is showing me a side of life I never knew existed I think he is somebody special then you get in their pants and then ghost them because they were just a dumb basic bitch who'd never grow further than the effort you put into them and fuck was that effort tiresome. The older I get the more I see that shit play out right from the first interaction and I know I'm capable of it and I've no need to prove it to anybody and I can get sex when I want it much easier and the thrill of the chase has to be sustained by something greater now, like they have to be worth something, offer something greater.
What are you doing on this app? Oh passing time? That is imaginative. I guess it is pretty hard to occupy yourself with something less normative in this wide world of wonder and potential. Yeah, I mostly enjoy opting out of real experiences by staring at a screen most of the day too. I think it might be a problem? But I don't want to do anything about it because effort right?
not directly related, but in the Tinder algorithm, you have a "ELO score".
If your ELO score is lower, you will get lower quality profiles/matches.
And the ELO score CAN be reset, but you need to register a new account under a different phone number.
So Swipe Right on 100% of the pictures, is not a good strategy for your score.
So if you have been using tinder for a while and arent getting good results, might be due to a low ELO score.
Register a new account under a different phone number.
On the web you should look at the top male tinder profiles and see what sort of things they put on their profile, then just copy adjusting for your style.
Good photos wi put you abouve 90% of tinder guys. You do not need a good body for success in tinder.