Be 25 year old with a 20 year old cousin

>be 25 year old with a 20 year old cousin
>I used to babysit him sometimes when he was between the ages of 4 and 10, before our family moved away
>he was a very sweet, gentle boy
>life went downhill for him after we left
>his mother died in a car wreck when he was 11, father turned into a depressed and abusive alcoholic, older sister killed herself when he was 12 as a result of everything
>CPS eventually became involved and he was sent to live with an aunt and uncle, and his father killed himself shortly after because his whole family was gone
>between the ages of 11 and 13, his entire family - parents and sister - had died
>we are currently holding a week long family reunion which he has been dragged to by his aunt and uncle
>he is very morose and withdrawn and his eyes are vacant and empty
>he looks like the living dead

I want to intervene. Is there any way to help him return to the sweet, smiling, affectionate little boy I remember?

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>Is there any way to help him return to the sweet, smiling, affectionate little boy I remember?


Well you can help him sure. be friendly, crack jokes, hang out with him. im sure he'd appreciate it.

You are incapable of helping him. How did you not understand that?


nope, sorry, but he's kaput

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Why is everyone here so pessimistic? Hes had a rough start, sure, but that doesnt mean to say someone cant show him the world isnt full of shit events. So yes, it certainly is possible to help him, he seems sk dead because nobody has yet.

>ptsd'd the life out of him
>can I help him?
Idk, could you? I mean, your cousin is practically a vfw, foreign war being his whole fuckin living

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- slav proverb
I mean, you can see the point, right?
Livin with the dead turns you into one.

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What he needs is therapy. Encourage him to go see a therapist, maybe go there with him, if he is afraid or not motivated.

Give him a blowie that helped me

maybe try taking him to do something fun, like mini golf or to a cool place to eat or something. just be a bro and try to get his trust. then like others suggested, later try talking to him about therapy, explain that you want him to be happy like how he was when you were kids, and how you want him to be able to live a better life

His childhood may have had a traumatic effect on him, but he's around 20 by now, right? While the death of family members is a big thing, he should be mostly over it by now.
Then again, I'm not a psychiatrist. Some may need more help during and after tough times, more than others.

You can try lifting his mood up by being friendly, but if he's like that all the time, it'll only be a momentary enjoyment. He should find something to do in life, like a job or goal, something he wants to do. It helps to have a goal and keep doing it, because life gets meaningless without one.

I dunno.

He seems dead because his whole family is died in his formative years and now he feels estranged to the world.

No one can help him.

No, I'm that kid and the only way for him to change is within himself. My upbringing was terrible, people died around me , I almost died , severe mental illness and people shunning me etc. I can go on.

He needs to find himself more than anything , experience more of the world and study how people deal with great pain. It will take a great amount of will on his part, and some assistance in being shown the right path. He will never have his youthful innocence again, instead he needs to become a man.

He'll never be the sweet boy you remember, that has died.

The fact he hasn't killed himself along with the rest of his family is a good sign though and it may be possible to save him.

As another user said, he needs meaning or a goal in life. If you want to be a part of that, you need to be a part of his life. Move closer to him, or get him to move closer to you, to show him though his immediate family is gone, he still has his extended family.

I'm a britbong so know nothing of therapy, but perhaps that could help?

Irregardless, it sounds like you need to have many more interactions with him

>No one can help him
Yes they can, they can help him accept his situation and become stronger for it. Many people grow through these things and become great in their own right.

If you mean no one can help him regain whatever veil of innocence people wear over their eyes to hide the world from them yeah he isn't going to have that. He can be strong if he chooses so. Sometimes people just need to know that they have this choice.

Unironically fuck him, especially if you're hot.

I don't usually support incest, but getting him sex might be a good idea. Fucking then having a good old talk about feeling would be nice.

>you live with the wolves, you howl like the wolves
goddamnit what a perfect proverb for this god-forsaken site
>no regrets though

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t. delusional go-lucky asshole

Some people are just dead inside because their whole has been shit and probably will continue to be shit regardless of how hard they try to change it. Have common courtesy and leave broken people alone.

I am more broken than you imagine my dude, I've tried killing myself multiple times and had psychotic breaks from reality out of stress and depression. I can hardly relate with 99% of people around me on any sort of personal level.

You don't have a choice. You can choose to fade, or you can choose to use your experiences to be a better person than anyone else around you. Many great men in history had terrible childhoods where they saw their families wiped out from smallpox, war, suicide, or just depression leading to serious health problems where you watch your loved ones wither away with their hearts. They didn't cast themselves into a dark pit for the rest of their lives in dejection, they embraced their pain and moved forward with time.

Life is about struggle. Until you realize this you will never live.

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>Life is about struggle
There's nothing wrong with killing yourself. Until you realize this, you will never live.

Some people lost the struggle early in life or have nothing to struggle for. Just let them kill themselves if that's what they want.

Learning to overcome your fear of death is not the same as being fine with suicide. I've tried to kill myself 3 times and you regret trying every time. Actually getting the guts to do it usually means your actual attempt won't go as planned.

Suicide is weakness, a temporary ficition that perpetuates the same pain that lead your hand to kill yourself. It's a selfish, worthless act. The only way to permenantly make yourself a worthless person is to kill yourself when you are young. You're erasing your own existence, you chose to make yourself worthless even. One option is infinitely inferior to the other, so really there is no option besides living. Dying in the name of some struggle is not the same as suicide because one is an act that expands yourself whole the other is an act that diminishes. Never choose to lessen yourself for no reason but despair. It's pointless and counter productive

I don't know how to say this but your cousin has the making of an anime antagonist. If I had to take a guess at how his life is about to go, he's probably going to somehow get a GF thats into mopey depressed dudes before she finds out hes not the mysterious chad she thinks he is and break up with him, making things worse.

I suggest you stick with him from now on and spend as much personal time with him as you possibly can. Just to hang out and lend him an ear. I doubt he's had a person in his life to listen to him vent and he could probably use it. If he never mentions it, when the time is right, just ask him how he feel about stuff.

Thanks for the advice everyone!! I plan to talk to him tonight...

You should definitely fuck him if he's never had a serious gf before btw

>sweet, smiling, affectionate little boy I remember?
He's 20, OP. He's never going to return, but you can still try to at least make him happy

>20 year olds can't be sweet or affectionate

>whole family dies
>durmrnurmrnu sure he's had a rough start, but it can be helped nurrnurnrm
You're fucking retarded.

But did you have your whole family die on you while you were at most 13 years old though?

Your post made me laugh.
But you're wrong.


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>whole family dying is a "rough start"
That aint a rough start, thats an origin story. This boy gonna save the fucking world one dayn better get on that ASAP

He's going to stop the archdemon or some shit.

We just talked for an hour and a half. I'll post a summary in the morning if the thread is still up. That was... wow. Mindblowing. I don't know what to say.

You could've. You could've been there for him. You can try to be there for him now but don't expect anything. If anything you might just become even more estranged. Have you even tried to keep contact with him over the years? Don't feel bad though, he might've turned out the same regardless
>source: used to go to every family outing with family then dad died. in a car crash, mom became an alcoholic and attempted suicide; speeding down a highway, sister died, brother killed himself, but I had a great brother and sister to support me. could've turned out way worse

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Forgot to add this happened between 6-11 and most of my dad's family cut contact after he died. I can kind of understand. It's like they felt like they didn't owe us anything after that tie was severed.

I just finished replaying Origins

Why ask here? You'll know you will regret saying nothing when he's gone. And I guarantee you, he will go.