Hey adv, I am a 21 year old guy and I'm dating an 18 year old. The age gap is large considering the ages we are at...

Hey adv, I am a 21 year old guy and I'm dating an 18 year old. The age gap is large considering the ages we are at. I really like her and she's very well spoken, we get along really well, but she seems like she wants to have sex and we have only been dating for a month. She's a virgin. I want to at least save sex for when we are more serious (she's only 18 I can't imagine she knows if she truly wants sex or not) so I can make things right between us, and ideally I would want to save it for marriage but in this day in age that will be unlikely.

If she comes onto me on our next date how should I go about turning her down while not making her think I don't find her attractive or something? I really like her I just don't think she (or we) are ready for such intimacy so soon.

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Just tell her before she comes onto you. Do it before the date and then if she just wants sex she'll go out with someone else

unless thats what she wants you can't enforce abstinence. she will find someone else. the only way this works out is if what she actually wants is to wait till marriage but feels pressured to have sex.

Dude, holy shit. You're 21. You're barely an adult. Stop acting like some kind of moral authority. Just have sex and stop acting like three years gives you any kind of better perspective than her.

Yeah, I know. I just don't wanna have sex with her so soon. If that's not what she wants it sucks but I'd be able to move on pretty quickly I guess
It's not what I meant. What I meant was is that the age difference is a lot. Like, if an 18 year old dated a 16 year old, it's a big difference, but if a 30 year old dated a 27 year old, not that bad. Know what I mean?

Waiting until marriage is a very strong standpoint compared to the average, but if that’s what you want, you can probably find a woman who feels the same way.

Just vaguely waiting “longer” but not until marriage is pointless. I don’t know if you think waiting three more months is going to protect you or do you some kind of favor, but it’s not going to change this girl into some perfect woman who will never hurt you.

And I don’t think you’re going to corrupt her with your penis. If you’re a genuinely good spirited, virtuous guy, then I don’t think you’d be harming anyone by getting involved with them sexually.

Eh, it's not a worry of being hurt. I've been hurt, I don't really care. It's more so that she's a virgin and I would rather her lose it to a guy she at least really likes rather than a guy she's only known for a month. I want it to be a little special at least.

That’s reasonable. I wonder why you’re dating a girl who you think would be better off with someone else, though.

Lol, just poor wording, I'm very tired. I mean that I would rather her know that she REALLY likes me before we go to have sex. I don't think she can know this after one month of dating.

Really knowing someone is a process that can take a several months, sometimes years. Usually, it takes lovers like a month to become totally infatuated, right?

Neither of those ages are a big difference, nor is yours and the girl.

Maybe? I don't feel that way about her yet but it's obvious she is that way about me

There it is.

What do you mean?

That’s the root of this internal conflict you’re having. She seems to be infatuated with you, but you aren’t infatuated with her, at least not yet.

What should I do?

I don’t know.

Well, thanks anyway user. Pointing out the issue itself helped. I'll mull this over

Hopefully it was a good read on the situation. Have a good one.

>21
>Barely an adult

Wtf you talking about 21 is still a goddamn child.

21 years old is barely not a toddler anymore