I'm gonna be Batman. Yes I'll probably die but at least it will be interesting fot everyone involved...

This is good because I already started to train to become Bane

That mentality won't get you very far. You need to be fully prepared to die and accept the possibility, but do everything in you power to avoid it, not expect it to happen.

I truly hope we get into an autistic rivalry that culminates in a rooftop fight in the pouring rain

as we chant "deshi deshi basara basara"

mega kek

This is good because I’m joining the CIA

I don't live in a country with many guns. If someone pulled one on me my instinct would be to get away as quickly as possible and remember them as both a serious threat and priority. I'd very likely be shot, being realistic, but I think I'd get medical attention quick enough. I'm very fast thinking in bloody situations.

What area are you planning on cleaning up? Would like to know so I can follow your escapades in the news

Well first, I admire your fortitude and good will. I think if you want to become a real hero there are a few things you would need to learn first.
>become an expert in the geography of your city
>learn where all of the police stations, hospitals, fire stations are, etc.
>map out all the hotspots that cops like to hang out at
>learn freerunning to make a quick getaway
>invest in a pair of binoculars, stick to rooftops, and just toss down harmless projectiles like flashbangs, stink bombs, smoke bombs, etc. You wouldn't want to actually hurt anyone and it doesn't take much to scare a pack of criminals
>and I suggest rooftops so you can go back inside like nothing happened and be safe
>avoid close combat at all costs because real life is nothing like the justice league and niggas will straight up shoot you on sight
>be mindful of surveillance everywhere you go
That's all I can think of for now. The biggest thing would be to work on your cardio and get it down to where you can run a mile in 8 minutes.

Hitler was the only real Batman.

Stalin was the joker

Are you a big guy?

can i be your Robin?

Pretty sure a tightly dressed flexible twink in full obedience mode would distract me more than enable me

but you could relieve all your stress into me when you're done busting the bad guys

unironically do it op, but do because I NEED you to succeed.

I think I speak for everybody when I say - you're absolutely fucking nuts, mate. Seriously, certifiably cuckoo. Nineteen shillings short of a quid, deranged, demented, delusional and dangerous - but only to yourself. After reading this cross between a thunderous fire-and-brimstone recitation of the nastiest bits of the Bible, and a Charles Manson recruitment/brainwashing torture chamber soundtrack, it has been decided by the sane humans of Earth that you are have your arms and legs amputated (for your own safety), your larynx removed (for our sanity), and you're to be stuffed into a box constructed of foot-thick 55-Nitinol and thrown in the Mariana Trench, never to foist your unsubtle brand of pseudoreligious insanity on the denizens of this world ever again. May God summon His unlimited strength to maybe, just maybe, have mercy on that unfunny joke within you that passes for your soul. Now begone - whatever the fuck you are.

>8 minutes
Try 6. Also be able to run a half marathon (21k) at a moments notice.

>IRLsuperheroriddledwithbullets.jpg

It's all pretty sound advice. Though I'd also want to be able to sprint reasonably in gear/costume.
Yea, probably, but not enough people are the interesting kind of stupid/nuts these days.
As I've said, very very few guns here. If I ever get a gun pulled on me I'll likely die, or at least be far too injured to return to it, but that's unlikely and I'm not going to get shot willingly.

Crimefighting with an erection sounds stupid even to me, but a sidekick does negate the only real non-gun threat of being ganged up on so much you can't even run away

Have fun in prison when you get caught. It ain't like the movies where the law let's that shit fly.

Yeah nah dont get a costume. You cant make a quick getaway in a costume, and you cant just be walking around with a backpack stuffed to the brim all the time, that's suspicious. A costume in general will be more of a liability than an asset. Just wear long sleeved clothing with good running shoes or athletic boots, maybe a custom mask, and gloves to cover up fingerprints. Avoid backpacks as much as possible, or be discreet about them (like wearing them under a hoodie or something).

And I would leave my phone and any other electronics that could even potentially compromise my location, and go completely off the grid when I'm doing this stuff. Hell I would leave my phone with a friend and have him text me back and forth so I'll always have an alibi. An Obama phone would be good though.

But hey that's just me.

Going completely off the grid will cause more suspicion then it will do good. Just live a completely normal average Joe life and always make sure to have an alibi.

Not bringing your phone or other traceable electronics is a good tip.

And for the outfitting, I would say wear something tactical but yet comfortable, discreet and flexible for any gadgets you might bring along and ofc for fast and easy movement.

Oh yeah. avoid any stupid gimmicks or anything recognisable. Focus solely on tacticality and effectivity

Try joining special forces first, like Army 18X or Navy SEALS. Without millions of dollars to give you the equipment, support, intelligence and ability to focus on this mission as a full time job you will be unlikely to ever succeed. You however have a chance doing the military special missions unit. After 6 years if you decide you dont like it and still want to become batman - you will have received millions of dollars worth of training and experience to do it.

Attached: SMU.jpg (373x500, 53K)

Get a police scanner and show up to the scenes before.

the only efficient way I know of to get info is to be a cop, a criminal, or a rat. it sounds like you’re trying to be a rat. they are the lowest on the food chain, basically awaiting extermination if they don’t ‘get out’. yet, you are fantasizing about getting in.

so, I guess my advice is to be either a cop or just abandon this fantasy of fighting crime. I don’t know anything about being a cop—it might suck.

>wants to be Batman
>has pictures of cats with muscular bodies saved
>misspells 10% of the words he types

What could go wrong

Also a good idea. I wasn’t in the special forces but did some time in the Air Force and you’ll definitely learn some worthwhile skills and get access to a ton of handy equipment.

I mean, what crime are you going after exactly? Do you just want to start offing gang members? Go to the shitty part of town with a gun and some molotovs. If you see people wearing all one color then snipe them from afar. Burn down crack dens and torch drug dealers cars.

What's probably going to happen is you're going to get shot , so I'd advise you not to do this but hell if you're intent on doing it at least do it right. You'll be a mass murderer but you will scare people

>has pictures of cats with muscular bodies saved
Who doesn't have that pic?

godspeed OP, it's about time the world got interesting, so i wish you the best of luck. have you thought of a superhero name yet?