I'm willing to offer advice as a reformed autist. If you don't jive with redpill/MGTOW garbage, but you also want to be able to properly assess and respond to flirting/courting situations while appearing at least somewhat competent/confident, I can answer questions.
The Purple Pill
Also, I realize this is pretty broad, so here are some topics with which I have particular first-hand experience, knowledge, or insight:
* How your taste in particular kinds of music affects women's perception of you
* How your video game hobby will impact things in general
* Dating women who are more than 5 years older than you
* The kinds of things you might say that are likely to alienate women
* Where things land on the too timid/too pushy or too nice/too mean scales
>* How your taste in particular kinds of music affects women's perception of you
>* The kinds of things you might say that are likely to alienate women
I'm interested in learning about these two.
>how your taste in particular kinds of music affects women's perception of you
Elaborate, user. Say I like multiple types of music, one being rather popular and the other being more indie. How will a woman perceive me? For reference, I'm a big fan of hiphop but also like dreampop/shoegaze.
Connection error made me think the thread died. Be back home in a bit for replies.
OP is a charlatan
One unintuitive thing I had to learn the hard way is that women are incapable of taking compliments about their appearance. Obviously you shouldn't be commenting on them in a sexual way anyway, but even if you deliver an earnest, not-creepy compliment about something like their hair, they will find a way to turn it into a negative. If it looks frizzy and you like that, they will talk about how they hate that it looks frizzy instead of accepting that it might not be a negative after all. Most of all, they won't perceive it as a come-on. This is the sort of thing that only gets you points once you're already past the friendship stage. More on music below:
Different genres are going to be wildly different "flexes," and it's not so much rooted in the popularity of the genre as it is the public perception of people who like that genre.
Hip-hop is a good flex if you're trying to get with Hispanic women, and a bad flex for white girls except for the 16-25 demographic, as well as just about every other race in any age group. Surprisingly it's sort of hit and miss with black girls (jazz is often a better choice to attract higher-class black women).
Dreampop/shoegaze is like a neutral thing, but it becomes a negative if you insist on calling it those things in general parlance. It's a better idea in situations like this to just name a couple very popular bands from that subgenre to give the person an idea of what you like. Don't press it unless they light up about it. If they haven't heard of MBV for example, broaden the genre to like new wave or electronic rock; talk about how you like the Cure instead, or possibly Depeche Mode. Veer back into the middle of the road until you make a connection (but don't lie about liking certain bands, obviously).
Admitted.
Wow. I actually really appreciate the advice at the end. In general would it be a good rule of thumb to use the broadening technique with other hobbies and interests? Like with film, maybe naming some of the bigger 'artsy' kinda films if they haven't heard of more specific stuff I'm into.
Otherwise, is there any sort of purple pill stuff on Tinder? I'm not redpilled on Tinder persay (as in I don't think women are just whores for using it), but the idea of Tinder itself seems so unnatural and hard to engage with. I have an account and get matches, but I rarely message people because I get too embarrassed with shitty openers and the idea of the digitalized version of flirting/courtship that goes on nowadays.
I can tell I'm being autistic about it, but I need some form of other perspective that can turn me on to being more confident and being myself even on an app in order to try to see if girls are my type.
This but I don't get any matches on Tinder
Yes, absolutely. Just don't broaden so far that you get into what I call "bumper sticker" territory. Comic-book movies, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Journey, Boston, Legend of Zelda, etc. If you see them on bumper stickers, t-shirt walls in Hot Topic, these aren't good conversation starters because you're putting yourself in a box (it's absolutely fine if you like these things, just don't lead with it). After a while you'll get better at finding the sweet spot. One of my go-to music conversation starters is Bowie for example. Everyone's heard of him, people at all levels of "coolness" tend to like him, but he wasn't consistently mainstream enough that people turned him into a meme (I did once have a t-shirt, though...)
Tinder I don't have any first-hand experience with. I was slightly too old when it came out to actually live it (it is primarily an 18-24 thing, though people up to 40 do use it). I can tell you what you probably already know, which is that it is perceived as a hookup app. These people who matched with you probably wouldn't care if you had an impressive opener, and you probably could have hooked up with a couple just by being more or less brief. IMO the point of Tinder is so that the conversation opener is made for you: swiping right = "Yeah, I could see myself touching you."
Be wary that people don't think of it as something that fosters a deep connection, even the people who have success with it. I have a family member who met her current boyfriend of 2+ years through Tinder, so the whole thing can evolve obviously. But that's not the primary goal of the thing.
Here is my best low-effort appearance improver:
Shave completely or go with roughly 5-day old stubble. Wash and comb your hair into a comfortable but orderly style. If you are balding, shave your head (don't go 100% chrome dome). Get your unibrow.
Wear whatever clothing you have that isn't super gaudy or bright, but not excessively formal. Iron or throw a button-down shirt in the dryer and put that on, but don't put on a tie.
Don't take a selfie, have someone else take the picture from a close/middle distance or at least obscure the fact that it's you taking the picture. Don't have your shoes in the picture as people will judge you to all kinds of hell for your fucking shoes.
Tell me more about the part with dating women who are older than you.
They are more appreciative of quality behavior. All women will respond negatively to you if you're an asshole (you don't want the ones who respond positively), but women under 30 tend to take good manners, restraint, etc. for granted. To them these things are seen as more of a "bare minimum" thing because, like you perhaps, they haven't learned to love people's flaws. Older women realize these things are more valuable than whatever stupid thing they fetishized in their 20s.
I'm not going to be cruel and point out the potential drawbacks. I'm kind of an outlier because physically, I like the things time does to a woman's looks, so these things aren't really a problem for me. I can't say enough good things about my experiences with women 30+. You're also in good shape if your interests happen to align with things from their generation, of course.
>reformed autist
>still describing beliefs as colored pills
I think you're relapsing
I would be more than happy to give you a purple nurple, as well.
Hmm yes I had suspected this. I want to try dating this year and have come to the conclusion that older women would probably be my best bet. Those that are not yet infected by the speed of modern life as you imply. I suspect as an "autistic" man it would be where your highest chances are. The drawback that I forsee is potential infertility so you must have an upper age limit. Considering the time before dating and getting married, having children etc. I think the upper limit must be 35?
* between not before
There are women who can still have kids at surprisingly old ages. However, if you're dead set on having your own biological child, yeah, you don't want to push it much farther than that. It'll be harder for her body, and the risk of miscarriage is higher, plus IIRC kids are more likely to have health issues born to older moms (don't quote me on it).
There are alternatives, especially if you have money. Surrogates, adoption. However you do also have to think about what it'll be like for your kid to be 25 and have a mom who's a senior citizen already. My wife and I take on exchange students, which is rewarding.
Well thanks for the input, I will keep that in mind my man.
You are quite welcome.
Why care, just make your own reality and be happy with your cozy gf and don't think too much about how we live in a society
>p-p-p-p-please come back to the plantation and pay for my dinner
Fuck off cunt
>One unintuitive thing I had to learn the hard way is that women are incapable of taking compliments about their appearance. Obviously you shouldn't be commenting on them in a sexual way anyway, but even if you deliver an earnest, not-creepy compliment about something like their hair, they will find a way to turn it into a negative.
I learned this formally from somewhere (can't remember where), but it works in my experience: The way to compliment women about their appearance is
1. To focus on something that have done/have control over, as opposed to something they can't control
2. Deliver it in the most nonchalant, non-intense way - eg, just how you would make a comment on the weather.
Generally speaking put a shitton of effort into their appearance and love it when their effort is appreciated. But at the same time, they have to have their guard up because of constant male targeting. Giving a compliment about something they chose as opposed to something immutable makes them feel great for themselves, and delivering it in a nonchalant and non-grandiose way sidesteps the creepiness issue (intentional, focused compliments have a lot of baggage like an obligation for a response; regulation of positive feedback towards the compliment-giver, etc)
Basically, conceptualize, and deliver compliments to women like side-comments about the weather. It works.