Sister was "raped"

If she was blackout drunk she wasn't capable of consenting to anything. I agree that she should've taken more precautions and that her friend should've been more steadfast in getting her to leave but that doesn't change the fact that whoever committed the crime is responsible for the crime, like said, even if she and her friend unintentionally made her an easy target.

All you can do now OP is damage control, try to help her heal and offer to help her find counseling if she needs it. I don't know if she wants to seek legal recourse by pressing charges but you could always talk to a lawyer about the details of her case and see if they think it's winnable to get whoever did this punished, but only seek punishment for this guy if it is something your sister would willingly take on doing and thinks would help her. I personally think, based on this story, the best thing you can do is just he there for her and listen to her and of course later down the road you might talk to her about being more cautious in the future. But her bad choice in making herself vulnerable and her friends bad choice in not pushing harder were ultimately not the factors that raped her, the guy who did it was. They contributed and set up the situation he could take advantage of but if not for him it definitely wouldn't have happened.

>sane person
>on this vietnamese gardening forum

If he was lucid enough to recognize that she was inebriated and took advantage of her inability to refuse, yes that's rape.

I agree with this user. If he was also shitfaced then it wasn't rape.

>All of you would be singing a different tune if it was you in this situation and a gay dude has raped you. Guys will never understand because they'll never have to actually live as a women and can enjoy judging them from behind a screen.
I've never been to a drinking party and I wouldn't go to one. Just look at all the thousands of stories that exist. And his sister not only went to one, but she went to one in someone else's ride, and then voluntarily drank until she was incapacitated.

I am so tired of people not taking responsibility for the actions and bleeding hearts running to their defense. Yeah, no one should ever be taken advantage of, but lots of things never should happen. Life is messy. Kids need to be in school learning, playing sports, learning a musical instrument, having wholesome fun, etc. Adults that allow children to party with alcohol are corrupting our society. And the youth don't want to live with the consequences, so they just find someone else to blame. And the bleeding hearts enable it. It's sickening.

Sorry rape is being forced against your tortured and having your genitalia damaged in the process. It's more like being dragged behind a dumpster and being beaten until you submit. It's not sloppy drunk sex with some random guy at a bar or party you barely remember.

The fragility of people in this generation is frankly sickening. She made a mistake and had sex she regretted. Dont you dare equate that with rape. Rape is far more serious than something so foolish. What she feels is not trauma, it's shame like she should be feeling. She acted like a moron and needs to deal with the consequences of her own actions not blame society for them.

This.

This 100%

Check out this faggot

It's time to tell your sister that if she's gonna blame the person who tried to get her to leave, you're going to take that person's side and claim your sister's calling fake rape. That's what I'd do. Your sister is being a huge MeTooing cunt right now and she needs to get that shit right out of her dumb fucking head.

As for your mother I'd just tell her that her input is unwanted and worthless since all she's doing I'd aggressively worsening the problem.

But then I also wouldn't tolerate feminist bullshit. Egalitarian or fuck off, negro

I assume these guys react like this because the only way they can get laid is if a chick is off her ass drunk.

Cut your ties, there's nothing good coming from being around these people.

I'm not going to say if it was 'rape' or not, but OP, don't let your idiot sister or mother blame that nice girl.

She did everything that a good friend was supposed to do, and physically dragging someone against their will, kicking and screaming, out of a house party is *not* a reasonable thing to expect someone to do.

That statement, "Because of that girl, I got raped" makes my blood boil. And the fact that your mother *agrees* with her?

Jesus fuck. This makes me never want to court or date women, ever.

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Not like anyone's trying to differentiate between getting drunk at a party and putting out, versus being forcibly taken against your active will and sexually abused

That would just be POPPYCOCK

My girlfriend generally believes cases like these aren't rape
Don't go for chicks who put out to strangers while drunk. That's all there is to it

>Don't go for chicks who put out to strangers while drunk. That's all there is to it

Yes, fair enough, but this shit is the orthodoxy being preached right now, which means there will be more girls will believe it than not; and, this kind of attitude can be hidden until a relevant situation arises.

Reminder that if you believe this was rape in any kind of way, you deserve nothing less than the rope. Getting drunk and having sex with a rando is nowhere near the shit actual rape victims go through. Kill yourself if you believe otherwise.

My sister also said she was 'raped'. She slandered the man. It was 100% consensual, but they broke up shortly after which made her angry. Why? You guessed it. She's fucking NUTS.

>Because of that girl I got raped
I don't know why I expected a girl to take responsibility for her mistakes but as expected she didn't.
I'm so tired of you fucking tumblr tourists fuck off already. This bitch asked for it and no amount of feminist gymnastics bullshit is going to change that. I would wish rape upon all of you but nobody is that desperate

No, it wasn't her friend's fault. Everyone has freedom of choice and your sister exercised hers. It was her choice to drink heavily, not go home, flirt with this guy all night, and presumably sleep with him (if it even happened).

I've had sex with sober girls and drunk girls so your theory is shaky at best

That still doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel taken advantage of. She is a kid and most importantly a human being, these two things means she makes mistakes or poor decisions. And just because she got drunk like that doesn’t mean that she is at fault or that she wasn’t taken advantage of, even if the other guy was drunk as fuck and couldn’t remember it, he should still answer for his mistakes and know better in the future to avoid getting that ducked up around women if he can’t control himself, and if he was good enough in thought to make a moral decision then he should be punished by the full force of the law, for now and as long as you can support her (just tell your mom and her not to blame that other girl, she shouldn’t have to suffer for this anymore than she should have, you can tell her what you feel later but even then don’t expect her to fully understand, some people always scream about how we need to just “teach boys not to rape”, but you know what, even the most limp pathetic numale can be a predictor behind the scenes, no matter what you tell people, men especially they will still find a way to be horrible hypocritical assholes, and that is why we have laws and punishment.

yeah, "if". Maybe he was even more shitfaced and she jumped on his dick?

>also feel that I've failed her as a brother
Yes, and this thread is continued evidence of your failure. No one is contesting that your sister didn't make a terrible decision, but to play monday morning quarterback to someone else's rape and essentially just rattle off all the shit she could of done to avoid the situation is beyond shitty. Yeah, a lot of people should of done things differently but the only person at fault here is the guy who had sex with the black out drunk girl. Your sister obviously isn't handling it well. She's having a difficult time dealing with the emotions and right now she wants to blame this girl who didn't force her into the car. Whether or not your sister is correct is irrelevant to the fact that she needs your support. The fact that you seemingly prioritize the validity and mechanics of her "rape", as you put it, over simply being there for and supporting your sister who is obviously going through some very serious shit is very alarming. If it were my sister, regardless of whether or not she was making up the rape or blaming someone else I'd fucking be there for her. She needs help, regardless of what actually happened. Get this girl to some therapy. She needs it. The specifics of her story or who is to blame is beyond unimportant at this point.

Don't have sex with blackout drunk people. Don't get blackout drunk and have sex with people. This is how misunderstandings happen. If you think its cool to stick your dick into people who are incapacitated by drugs and alcohol then I think its beyond ridiculous that you would be shocked when someone accuses you of something or a misunderstanding happens. Don't take advantage of ambiguity then complain when it comes back to bite you in the ass. Like, if some stranger who was obviously blackout drunk, could barely stand up and was slurring their words came up to you and said "Here, I want you to have my car" and handed you the keys, would you take it? Then, if you decided to take their car in what universe would you have any ground to stand on if that person went to the police and said "Hey, that guy stole my car?" and you had to convince them that he just gave it to you? Can you imagine the kind of trouble you could be in? This may seem like a poor comparison to everyone but the point is you took advantage of someone's poor judgement and inability to consent for your own personal gain. Whether or not its right or just that you receive punishment for this is irrelevant to the fact that its common sense. Don't trust a blackout drunk person to hold up their end of a contract, guys. Its a bad investment with bad consequences.

>I think its beyond ridiculous that you would be shocked when someone accuses you of something or a misunderstanding happens
I 100% agree but I'm hoping the guy doesn't press charges against her. Who knows though?

I doubt that there is going to be any legal ramifications from this but the unfortunate part of these situations is that both legally and morally one has to decide who holds the MOST blame. Its a hard thing to determine, especially when drugs and alcohol are involved. Who was the most sober? Who took advantage of who? I don't think any of us know the answer. Obviously it was a mistake to get so drunk on her end and taking home a blackout drunk girl and having sex with her was a GIGANTIC mistake on his end. Whether or not any of this meets the legal definition of rape is a difficult question to answer but, ultimately, an irrelevant one. I think what everyone needs to stop and appreciate is that you don't need to be legally raped in order to feel violated. Being disgusted and feeling like shit about things happening to your body that you don't remember is not a feeling exclusive to the legal definition of rape. Maybe she was flirting with the guy. Maybe she didn't plan on having sex with him but things got out of hand, she blacked out, he took her home, things got fuzzy and she woke up the next morning feeling like she was violated. I get it. That's why my original advice was to get her into some therapy. Its obvious she's having a hard time dealing with this and lashing out at other people to compensate for the internal suffering isn't a bizarre reaction. Picking apart her rape is beyond unproductive at this point. Getting her into therapy and helping her sort through these feelings, whether or not those feelings are logical or not, seems like the only common sense way to put this event behind everybody and begin healing from it.