How do you deal with your sex drive being different than your partner?
So my boyfriend has a very high sex drive and while I don't feel like mine is low, it's definitely lower than his. I do enjoy when we have sex and I get into it, but I don't often iniate. I'm wondering if that is alright or will he start to resent that he is always the one to start stuff.
And anybody else is welcome to post stories or questions on this subject.
Give him random blowjobs and surprise him with something sexy every so often. He shouldn’t be doing all the initiating.
I initiate sometimes, he just does most of the time. We have sex about 3-4 times a week and I initiate probably once a week, maybe less. Should I try and do more than that? Though honestly I would probably be ok with sex once or twice a week.
Shit, I was going to post this but from the man's perspective. I'm currently in an 8 years relationship and I'm starting to resent my girlfriend/baby mom for this reason. If I don't initiate it will probably be months before anything happens from her!
get creative, maybe
This might sound absurd but my ex used to just watch me get myself off when I was feeling it more than her. She kinda enjoyed it, I enjoyed it, and I wasn't pissed because sex isn't always about putting your dick in someones pussy, sometimes its just releasing sexual energy with the person you luv
>How often do you have sex?
>How often did you have sex in the beginning?
>Does she seem like she enjoys it? Or is she just going through the motions?
only do it as often as YOU want to dont let yourself get caught up however keeping him on his toes and giving him a surprise once in a while will make him feel like the wait is worth it. i sounded fucking retarded in this post
My girlfriend is a much hornier person than I am. Except she gets very sore down below (she's small, I'm not) so I just have to give her a good dicking and then she leaves me alone. But god damn every day it is like she is king arthur and she needs pull Excalibur out of my god damn pants and sit on it. I used to get annoyed by it but then I started hitting the gym and now it doesn't wear me down for the whole day.
I usually initiate in my relationship and years later it's no cause of resentment. We've just taken as a matter of course that I'm usually initiating. With respect to that, I always make sure to take the time to get my girl going, since I have more or less a hall pass.
It'd only really be a problem if it were the other way around. Guys are used to being sexually frustrated.
Thank you, I really appreciate the advice. And I don't think you sounded retarded at all.
That is a relief to hear. We haven't been together very long, so I was worried about this being too big of an incompatibility. I try to initiate sometimes because I know it makes me feel good and wanted and I really want him to feel the same way. I just worry I should be doing more.
just let him fuck you, we dont care who initianes, we arent insecure manbabies who need princess pussy to beg for our cock, we just wana ram you whenever the urge is there, primal instinct
Idk every girl i ever fucked was a jackrabbit just like me, dumb that prude bitch.
This is partially why my last relationship died. She barely ever initiated it. Destroyed my self esteem, thought she didn't want to. She would say she does find me attractive, but, actions speak way louder than words re sex.
In the beginning it was everytime we we're together but I had to always start it (2-3 times a week) Now it's zero if I don't start anything. I personally believe she is just going through the motions but she verbally says she enjoys sex but her actions don't line up with the words.
Damn I wish my girl were like you. She's got the libido of a monk. We have sex like once a week and the last time she sucked my dick was last summer and she did it for like 3 minutes before saying she was bored. Fuck I hate her
Unrelated to OP's post by why are you still with her if you hate her?
Hey guys..I figure this thread's the best place to ask, my gf wants to give me BJs but she complains of bad smell so she doesn't do it.
It gets to the point that I wash it in X way with X soap and make her smell it, she gets visibly uncomfortable and tells me she can smell it.
I've tried bar soap, liquid soap, random shower gels, and now even with "intimate wash" neutral pH soap, she can still smell it, I'm uncut and I know I don't have a urinary tract infection (checked 2 months ago) so what could be causing it? or is it just her not liking my "natural" smell?
probably can't get anyone else?
She isnt smelling your dick, she is smelling your pubes you brainlet. Use gillete razor, completely shave your pubes off crotch and balls, take a shower and you will stop smelling like ass.
Pic related. Or give him quick handjob every morning / before sleep. Learn how to make him cum under two minutes. Remember: empty balls + full stomach = happy marriage
I've had times when I shower and actually scrub everything around my penis and crotch and then let her sniff it, so that's not it.
> 33 and married
Sex needs to be a 2-way street and mostly even flow in both directions.
When it isn't the relationship will eventually fail or one person will cheat.
It's a serious issue. You should have an honest discussion about it where neither person holds anything back.
Wow and I was in a relationship with literally 0 sex. None. 1 year.
How did you handle that? I think I would lose my mind after a couple months.
My first guess would be sweat, but I assume you're washing pretty good, so its probably not that.
Is she complaining about taste too? Or is it just the smell?
I absolutely hate it when girls initiate sex. It's a huge turn-off and I resent them for doing that.
When women want sex, they should use allure, as women, and as women should.
No, OP you shouldn't feel guilty. If he wants something, he'll ask. If you're truly insecure, then ask him if he wants anything more or if he's satisfied.
Also embrace your femininity. Men love above-all, women who act like women (and not men).
>He shouldn’t be doing all the initiating.
Terrible advice.
"how to end a relationship in under 3 months"
I hate it when girls don't let me hit them. Same with dogs.
you're a psycho huh
just smell, yup I wash very good
Something like that.
Are you retarded or something? Expecting him to do all the work is how you kill a relationship.
Maybe just slather some lotion or something under her nose if the smell is the only turn off. If you're washing, it must just be your natural smell that she doesn't like.
Everyone wants to feel like they've made a "catch" with their partner. That's the idea of dating... you try hard and choose the best you can.
You can sabotage this in a relationship (if you're a woman) by making yourself too available to him. When a woman initiates, it communicates a few things:
-You, man, are not satisfying enough sexually, I must do it
-I don't know how to use allure like a normal woman, instead I """"initiate"""" like men do and make you feel gay
-You are so good, I don't want to lose you! Here! Take my body, whenever whereever! I'm all yours, just please don't leave me!
It's a confusing message and it's all annoying.
Men feel safe, like they made a "catch" when their woman is very hard to access, beautiful, rare.
Men feel insecure, like they can "do better" when their women is too easy to access, ugly, common.
Think about it. Let it ping pong in your head for a while and I guarantee you'll agree with me.
It is important to drain his balls to decrease levels of aggression
dude I mean, you're not wrong, but too much of this shit is not good too
My ex of four years and I both had super high sex drives for the first half of our relationship. We had sex at least twice a day, most days more.
My sex drive tanked when I fell pregnant 3 years into our relationship. From being horny 24/7 and having sex AT LEAST daily, to only wanting sex less than once a week.
He dealt with it alright for a couple months but then started getting really passive aggressive about it. I honestly just didn't want sex 99% of the time. I was pregnant, sore, exhausted, nauseous etc.
As my pregnancy progressed, he became resentful. I was actually put on partial bed rest (meaning no sex), but didn't care. He started asking me for sex a lot, and when I said no, I'd wake up in the middle of the night to him having sex with me or trying to have sex with me, despite me saying no.
My libido got even lower after our child was born. I was breastfeeding what felt like 24/7 and was constantly touched out. I couldn't stand the thought of having sex, though I liked cuddling and being intimate in other ways.
I ended up leaving him a few months later after he'd guilted, coerced and forced me into sex many, many times.
I'm now 17 months post partum and still have zero sex drive. I haven't even masturbated in about 9 months.
My advice:
Just be honest with your partner about your sex drive and when you don't feel up to it.
When you do, spice things up a little, try to get really into it. And make sure you're both getting enjoyment out of the sex.
Also, be intimate in other ways if you're not wanting sex. Cuddle up together and watch a movie. Hug him when you walk past each other. Hold hands when you're out. Kiss him, give him back tickles in bed etc.
I've found that if one or both partners don't want sex, the intimacy needs to be "made up" in other ways to fill each other's buckets.
Adding: find out what his love language is and play on that.
If it's physical, be more affectionate and hands on in day to day life.
If it's acts of service, do something nice for him when you get the chance; make him a cuppa, cook his favourite food for dinner.
If it's quality time, rent one of his favourite movies and have a movie night.