I want a man who does not belittle me, who does not belittle nor mock the things I like, who respects me, my stuff, my privacy and my opinions, who has no problem leaving me alone when I want to be alone and who has no problem giving me lots of attention and affection when I want attention and affection. Why is that so hard to find? It's like most men are either one of two extremes, either aloof don't give a shit about or extremely need who won't give you room to breath, ever. How do I find a balanced guy who fits me just right?
I want a man who does not belittle me, who does not belittle nor mock the things I like, who respects me, my stuff...
Why would a man choose you over the others? It's give and take, you need to have qualities that attract that kind of guy.
If he sincerely loves me, I can sincerely love him back.
I won't love anyone who does not love me first though. It's a bad idea to do that.
I must admit, it will be challenging.
The easiest way is to become acquainted with a dude that already is your friend, and to do the same for him.
If someone does any shit like you mentioned, don’t get down on yourself, because you’re better off without them at that point.
Also, don’t go for any of the dudes who are clearly douchebags in your opinion, the drug dealers and shit; I’ve seen them bounce from girl to girl like their lives depend on it.
As a straight dude, that’s what little advice I can provide.
That's it? Nothing about what you can provide in a relationship? No attractive qualities?
Sounds like a bum deal to me. You sound high maintenance as all hell and you like high drama.
Maybe find an actor, they could bullshit their way into your heart.
What do you have to offer?
I can provide financial assistance within reasonable limits, since the money I earn I also want to keep for myself to buy myself what I want. On the other hand, that means I don't expect him to spend my money on me beyond eventual shared expenses or essentials (i.e. I do the grocery shopping this week, I buy the food you want for you too so you do me the courtesy of doing the same for me next time)
He leaves me alone about the things I like and I'll leave him alone about the things he likes, if he's nice to me about the things I like I'll be nice to him about the things he likes. He needs someone to vent to or a shoulder to cry on I can be that shoulder, I already am that to my friends. I need to like him first though.
I will not provide sex on demand, that goes against me, but if I like him then I won't mind giving lots of physical affection like hugs and cuddles and kisses, I like being physically affectionate with people I'm happy to be with.
Of course it goes without saying if I don't like him first none of this is possible.
*his money on me
>I have a job
>I am cold and calculating with my partner all the time
>maybe I will act as affectionate as a friend, but only if he meets all my demands
Wow, sounds like you're quite the catch.
I don't need to be cold and calculating if he's not a dick to me and doesn't try to take advantage of me. I need to be cold and calculating if he shows to be a dick to me and tries to take advantage of me, or if I am not sure I can trust him yet. I don't want to be taken advantage of, I'd rather not be in a relationship at all then. I don't like and I have no reason to be affectionate with people I don't like, again if I have to suffer at my detriment then I'd rather not be in that relationship first of all.
Sex is an important part of a relationship. You sound like you just want a friend, not a bf. Outright saying no sex is a huge dealbreaker. Don't you realize this is why you can't get a man?
I didn't say outright say no to sex though. I said no to sex on demand, that is when he wants it but A) I'm not yet in the mood (and got nothing else to do), or B) really not in the mood because I'm busy doing something else that is important to me. In case A) either he does the things I like to get me in the mood, or I won't have sex with him, in case B) I want him to respect that I have other things to do too so we won't have sex in that instance. Having sex when I don't want to hurts me horribly and I don't want a man who doesn't care about that.
Date a retard who you won't be attracted to and will inevitably leave because you realize the only Male who seriously respect women as equals or greater is utterly weak and inferior.
You actually have to be good at something to be respected, men dont just get respect.
Third replier here; You sound like you literally give now fucks about the emotions or opinions of the man as long as you get a man to lay your sociopathic fingers on based on how you seem to try and pre-calculate every aspect of the relationship, so I’ll give one piece of advice; Don’t try and get a man, because you’ll get what you give.
What's wrong about a woman pre-calculating bad, hurtful aspects of a relationship that would hurt her and thus she wants to weed out, exactly?
I give affection, assistance and respect when I get affection, assistance and respect. A man who would hurt me would either not give affection, assistance and respect, or his plans would clash immediately with mine and it would die immediately since I'm not budging on my plans, so I think you're worrying over nothing.
I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pool. Work on your obnoxious attitude before ever thinking of going into a serious relationship again,
Reading through your replies, it's clear you want a friend more than a partner.
To be honest, I wouldn't date you either.
The high maintenance is a huge deal breaker. You can't pick and choose when you want to be left alone and when to want company: relationships don't work like that. For better or worse, you have to adjust to the fact there is someone else in your life now and can't be all "me, me, me" about it. Being with someone means you have to tolerate their bullshit, just as much as they have to tolerate yours. It also means opening up to them, which it seems you have an issue with.
You also sound like you have a low sex drive and are not particularly attractive, which also works against you.
There ARE men out there like that. I just don't think you'll find one very easily with your personality and demands/conditions.
There's nothing wrong with it. You can be picky, if you want. Just don't complain about why you can't find anyone exactly according to your expectations.
Being stubborn or bullheaded is exactly that type of attitude that works against you in relationship.
It's fine to want equality but relationships require flexibility and compromise.
Since you won't change your mind, it's a bit pointless to say this, but if you really want to find someone according to your conditions, you're going to have to take a long hard look at what more you can provide to someone who's willing to put up with you.
What is it that you can give him in return? Definitely not care and attention when he needs it since you specifically stated that your need of space takes priority.
Tell me what the fuck is it about you that makes you attractive enough for a quality man to stay in a relationship with you? You sound like everything a man wouldn't want in a girlfriend.
The guy you are describing is better off going to a prostitute since there isn't all the risk involved of stepping all over your tender boundaries.
>really not in the mood because I'm busy doing something else that is important to me
Like Netflix? Or Instagram? Or anything you do in your free time at home?
You sound exactly like my ex. We didn't last a month.
It's true it is very hard to find. But it does exist and I found him. I was surprised I thought it was a dream. As you can see guys who ain't shit are going to be triggered and respond as if wanting someone who respects you as a human being is unreasonable lol.
Just hope for the best.
And never settle for guys like you find on this site replying with a chip on their shoulders. Afterall men can expect as much as they want and women should all settle for them in their delusional eyes.
Guaranteed that such a guy is going to be inferior in all aspects to posters here. But hey, your choice.
6/10 made me respond
>it's hard to find a doormat that I also find attractive enough to date
Gee, I wonder why?
Keep looking for Mr. Right, I'm sure he's out there somewhere!
im like that but im already taken
you can flirt with me and then ill make a move
its a bit confusing when you are taken back then the next day want to cuddle all day
how do you find "me"
we arent attention whoring like your avarage dudebro
we like to talk about shit instead of bragging and impressing you
we dont have weird or quirky interests so its harder to catch your attention
men in the fog if you like
t. pic related
Objectively superior to /adv9k/ posters
You sound literally like my ex, yes mybe I wanted some support during my depressed times and I wanted mybe some replies during the day, but she would rather play Mc then reply, desu it's draining af, I put a lot of effort, she claims she put in effort as well but only when it fitted her, you are a high maintenance person, for you to find someone good you are going to date someone for a while the minute he realizes you don't do something he wants to do, mby over a long course of time he is gna leave you, or. He is going to stop putting in effort until he sees it coming from your side but you being the way you are you probably won't, and just leave him instead for some reason I see you a Lil selfish and mby even childish from what you want in a man. All I can say is good luck, try put in more from your side, your relationships won't last too long unless you find a beta male that will worship you.
>chip on their shoulders. Afterall men can expect as much as they want and women should all settle for them in their delusional eyes.
But this is wrong.
It's the other way around most of the time and you should know this.
Men date down women date up.
Also, what makes you say humans deserve respect?
I make people earn mine, that's why it's worth something.
Not that you'd know anything about worthwile people judging by your close minded post, but you know.
never had a beard or a fedora but keep projecting permavirgin freak
>Hey partner, I am not a social person and I need some hours every day to myself alone to unwind and recharge. You cool with that?
>The partner I want: Okay no prob, I got my stuff to do too
>The partner I don't want: No I can't stand that
Sorry but this is non-negotiable, I get too much stressed if I don't have my alone time, I don't want a parter who stresses me, or worse, who doesn't give a fuck about me because he doesn't care he's hurting me. I want a man who doesn't want to hurt me, whoi s 100% ok with my conditions as my conditions are essential for my well being, not you. I don't want to be in a relationship if it only makes me suffer as it would with a partner like you.
That's what I hope for, thanks. Any man who doesn't want what I want is not a man I want to be with.
Why do you expect him to be available when you want and gone when you don't, when you are unwilling to return the favor? You expect him to not be able to tell you to leave him alone. You want an unequal relationship where he provides everything and you provide nothing.
You keep talking about getting hurt by someone not giving you space, but let's turn that around into the context you put in the original conditions.
>OP: Hey BF, can we cuddle and hug for a bit? I'm feeling a bit down and want some comfort
>BF: Sorry OP, I'm too tired from work
>OP: BUT I WANT ATTENTION AND AFFECTION RIGHT NOW
See your logic? Just because your partner doesn't want to respect your space, doesn't mean he doesn't care about you or wants to hurt you. This hypothetical partner has needs and wants, just like you, that needs to be met, just like yours.
I hope you understand how big of an issue this is. It's not that you want to find a man with your conditions, it's that you're too emotionally vulnerable and too fragile to put up with having another human being (much less a child) as part of your life.
To be honest miss, or sir, its asking way too much from another person who has feelings too.
People arent there to be at your disposal, and you should be happy they are there at all.
I had to learn this the hard way. Learn that when people are attempting to get me to feel better I acknowledge it at least and tell them they are appreciated.
No one can predict how you feel and niether can you. If you can accept this you can be more flexible and less inwardly focused.
>OP: BUT I WANT ATTENTION AND AFFECTION RIGHT NOW
I never said that though... if he's tired I can fuck off to vent and relax on Jow Forums as I already do anyway. It'd be nice to get cuddles if he's not tired but I don't want to impose as I don't want to be imposed on. Of course if this happens every day then let's just amicably split and go each our way.
>This hypothetical partner has needs and wants, just like you, that needs to be met, just like yours
I can't meet them if his needs are in conflict with mine because then I end up being hurt and losing out and I don't want that. I want a partner whose needs are not in conflict with mine.
>you should be happy they are there at all
No, seeing my friends die inside over a lot of bad horrible relationships with shitty men who demanded but didn't give back tells me this is wrong. I would be happy if I were with someone who's good for me and good to me. If I'm not happy with him then his presence is not going to make me happy at all, the opposite, his presence makes me feel horrible and his absence makes me happy.
from this thread alone you sound like a real piece of work. any man with half a brain should stay away from you.
You people say that everytime a femanon has standards
so many worthless dudes in here haha wow
I thought there were decent guys and incels were minorities but guess not
>all posters here whine and bitch they can't meet my needs while they want me to meet theirs
How is a man who CAN my meets my needs inferior? If anything he's superior because he would meet my needs and make me happy to be with him, unlike a man who bitches he's not happy with me and whom consequently I don't want to be with.
>I never said that though...
And you missed the point. The point is, maybe his refusal to not want to give you space comes from the fact he requires affection, just like you.
>Of course if this happens every day then let's just amicably split and go each our way.
That's exactly the issue. Your conditions are a daily part of life, as will his needs. That's what a relationship is, managing the wants and needs from two individuals. If you don't make an effort to meet your partner's needs, then you're not really in an equal relationship. You're looking for someone that can cater to you, his needs taking a second seat.
>I want a partner whose needs are not in conflict with mine.
So you want yourself, in male form? Because that doesn't exist.
Your partner's needs will almost always conflict with yours, by virtue of being a different person. That's why you need to be able to compromise and be flexible, to meet BOTH your needs at the same time, and not just yours.
As long as you continue to be unrealistic and selfish about your needs, then there's very little chance you'll find who you want.
You either have to change what you expect in a relationship, or change how you are as a person to have a real tangible chance at a long term relationship. That's all I'll say.
Good luck on your search. Nobody deserves to be alone, but don't make an effort to do so willingly either.
Because you don't really make an effort to meet his needs, even though he makes the effort to meet yours.
For someone to be like that, they'd have to have little self-respect. Someone who doesn't respect themselves enough to value their own needs too, makes them a poor character.
>No, seeing my friends die inside over a lot of bad horrible relationships with shitty men who demanded but didn't give back tells me this is wrong. I would be happy if I were with someone who's good for me and good to me. If I'm not happy with him then his presence is not going to make me happy at all, the opposite, his presence makes me feel horrible and his absence makes me happy.
Not everything is about you. Just because your friends had a shitty romance doesnt mean every guy is.
You are expecting men to read your mind before you even make it. You expect mister perfect. No such thing. You will be alone forever if you keep this up.
But, as I said I don't impose my demands for affections if my partner is not willing to give it, and I expect the same courtesy back. I can understand being too tired and needing time alone to recover, it's a normal thing for me too so it doesn't bother me. Eventually I can give affection, but if my partner can't, no problem, it means he's better suited to someone else and so am I. Splitting up is not a bad thing. I don't have to spend my whole life with the first guy I meet, especially if he's bad for me then I don't want to be with him. I certainly don't want a man who doesn't show respect to my time and space since I have no problem doing that for him, so I want him to do that for me, too.
>If you don't make an effort to meet your partner's needs
As I said, I can do that if his needs are not in conflict with mine. If they are, then I lose out in the short and in the long run, and I don't want that. That's not a good relationship.
>Your partner's needs will almost always conflict with yours
Nah, my father and my mother manage not to do that. Mostly because my father knows when to shut up and fuck off and leave my mother alone, and knows when my mother needs him and knows to be there when mom needs him, and viceversa. That's the ideal relationship to me.
>meet BOTH your needs at the same time
Can't do that if his are in direct conflict with mine. If I need to be alone and he wants to do whatever that requires my company, then I end up having my need unmet, and I don't want that. Over time I would only hate him and resent him for that. I will leave a guy who does not meet my needs like that. I am not giving up on my needs for someone else, it's not right I have to do that, I'd rather stay alone if that's the case. That's why I want someone whose needs are not in conflict with mine, or no one at all.
What are his needs here exactly? If he's someone I want to be with, I am meeting his needs because he wants the same things I want and he's okay with my timing and my schedule. If he's someone else, then the problem does not exist because I don't want to be with that person. Please don't project your needs on me, I don't want to be with you.
>Just because your friends had a shitty romance doesnt mean every guy is.
That's why I'm vetting out the bad ones that aren't compatible with me, as they show by their whining at my standards. :)
But you are whining about your standards now aren't you. How can you be any better when you are doing the same thing. Having standards is fine but right now you're looking for mr. Perfect you set your expectations too high. Keep yourself grounded, you aren't perfect like you said before why would you expect a man to be any different.
You are the worst kind honestly. I pity the poor bastard that will fall in love with you because it always takes a lot of wasted time, energy and emotional pain before he gets disillusioned about you.
I learned my lesson with women like you and I wish I never had to.
You literally cannot have a relationship without making sacrifices to make the other one happy and by refusing to do it you put the entire burden on your partner exploiting his feelings for you.
That guy that clicks so perfectly with you won't be real. It is simply an illusion so convenient that you will refuse to see through it until carrying the entire burden makes him bitter.
You will exploit his feelings until he burns out and then it was his fault all along anyway isn't it?
It was his fault indeed - as much as it's the victims fault for losing savings to a somewhat obvious charity scam.
This poster should consider it as well.
>What are his needs here exactly?
It doesn't matter.
They just wouldn't be as important as yours.
>It doesn't matter
Yes it does. If they are not in conflict with mine, we can be together. If they are in conflict with mine, we can't be together.
I'm venting as I always do on Jow Forums. I don't expect any guy here to be someone I want to be with anyway, and you guys never fail to prove me right on that.
>you set your expectations too high
Asking for a 6'2" supermodel billionaire who is happy to spend all his money on me would be setting my expectations too high. I want who I am attracted to and whom respects me and my will to do or not do something, without imposing himself just as I don't want to impose myself. If you think that's too high then you're not someone I want to be with.
You are more than fucking delusional if you think that your parents share your attitude considering the fact that they are still together after all the shitty circumstances and trials that life inevitably presents. Your own fucking existence proves you wrong girl. Grow the fuck up.
What does she need to consider exactly? OP is looking for someone but it seems she found someone she can love and who loves her. I doubt she needs to break up to date one of the winners in this thread. I think it's just encouraging people to not settle just for the sake of being in a relationship. A lot of guys are real losers, it's reality.
> wahh why don't these whores date losers like us!? fucking sloots
>without imposing himself just as I don't want to impose myself.
You have been doing nothing but that. All you want is someone to agree with you. Mindlessly. You are asking for something that they click with you on everything. Your standards are too high because you have this idea that you are owed something. Men dont owe you shit just like you dont owe us. By all the responses you got it seems that you are the problem to your own issues. You keep denying it because of your ego rather than looking at it fairly and objectivly. You are a controling type of person who thinks the world owes her but you bring nothing to the table yourself. You are spoiled and from what you described your friends to go through so were they. A life with out heartbreak isnt a life at all. Its a fantasy. You want to vent? Fine, but Jow Forums adv is not the place to ask for help and then vent on people. Its a place where you take people's opinion and experiences to help ypu understand your own and right now you are failing that. You dont deserve a person to love you because you are too selfish.
Talk about being bitter and delusional. Posters mainly pointed out how hypocritical OP is, being extremely demanding while offering nothing in return.
Spoiled bitch alert.
As I said, they are still together because my father knows to shut up and fuck when he's not wanted, knows to give company and comfort when he's wanted, and most of all he never thinks to impose himself in any way as he knows that would hurt mom and doesn't want to do that, not to mention she would leave him on the spot if he were stupid enough to try that. You're delusional if you think my father is a whiner like you guys here, he's a lot more like the "beta with no self-respect" you people bitch about, but I see that's the ideal man to be with - not you. You grow the fuck up.
Give me your skype ID
Let's skype and I'll record it
And even better any social media with real name and photo with timestamp
And upload these statements to it
If you can say that to my face I'll retract my statement
Willing to bet your bravery ends once you put a fave and name behind your bitter misogyny
See OP here's the thing, successful men are going to always follow those extremes. Unless you are willing to date losers that's all you got.
Wow, ok you do deserve to be alone. You are an abusive bitch. Incredibly spoiled and is the equivalent of a wife beater.
Enjoy being alone. You dont deserve any companionship, you should be with 30 cats. You dont want a man you want a dog.
>You have been doing nothing but that
Not at all. If someone's not happy with me they can leave at any moment, I don't want anyone to be in a relationship they are not happy in. No hard feelings, exit's that way.
>I want a relationship just like my mother and father
>Wow, ok you do deserve to be alone
Yeah I will do that while you send that to your echo chamber? Why dont you put yours up since you are so brave? You are a coward and an abusive bitch.
You sound like you want a psychic
Psychics don't exist.
Other people also have wants and needs of their own. It's why relationships are tough to navigate.
It's hard to find what you want because what you want is to be selfish and needy and that be okay
Perhaps but that cab easily be said without the trighered misogybistic comments. No decent guy would say those things which proves right they there are indeed losers typing furiously as they cum all over the keyboard. Plus it seems some other users said they found a decent guy and they then got worked up about it too. They hate women for exisitint outside of them. It doesn't even matter if OP was the most gentle woman on Earth. The comments wouldn't change . At this point she's feeding them more to prove her point, at least I think? I'm not sure what point there is to reading and replying to anyone here
>No hard feelings, exit's that way.
Yeah while you cry in this thread how men are such pigs. Bitch look at yourself. All you did was cry and complain about your feelings. Sorry girl, no one feels bad for you.
You do, and your mother sounds like an abusive bitch too.
Dude dont bother the bitch is psycho.
big yikes for him
Are you even his biological daughter?
>You sound like you want a psychic
Why do you people always presume that? I have no problem vocalizing my needs, I'm doing that now and I do that in person too.
Yup! And he's happy about his marriage too. That's exactly the kind of man I want. :)
As expected really.
You hide behind a computer.
Go create an instagram
Add screenshots of the convo including your post
Post your photo and timestamp
You can leave out your full name and use a nickname
Then send the link to your mother
All your friends
If you can make it public to the world
The reason you post here is anonymity
Deep down you know you are full of hate and wouldn't be tolerated if you had to verbally speak what you write
If you do it, prove you have done it and I'll send a timestamp photo
What do I have to be ashamed of?
As he holds a help me sign.
Thats what you are doing. Go on if i am the coward show us your balls you moronic hypocrit.
Cucks can be found on reddit. There are plenty of guys there which will allow you to fuck chad during your alone time.
No, my father has never done that. In fact he's always stated to anyone if he could go back in time, he would repeat everything exactly the same.
That's the kind of man I want to be with. :)
Are you seriously baiting me to give out personal information just to prove you wrong?
Ok guys ignore this poster. Just a scammer not even here to talk issues, just identity theft.
I'll post a photo hold up
Meanwhile record your voice saying these words to me
After voice recording and photo
You think you'll put your face and name to your words? Doubtful. That's why I can't take it seriously. People go online to rant their true feelings without judgement. You can't even quote me on anything of the sort
Yeah i am sure.
Why so you can take my identity? Yeah you bet your retarded ass I wont now.
Wait why dont you post one? Why dont you do what you are asking of me?
My dog is happy as well but I put a leash on him instead of a ring to avoid misunderstandings. I bet my dog gets more respect in life than your father.
Please do tell how I can scam you from a selfie? I'm really curious. Then I could scam literally everyone in Facebook and Instagram!!!!
Record yourself calling me a bitch
Send that and a screenshot to your mother. I dare you.
Well he's still happily married after 40 steady years of marriage to the same woman. What about you?
Keep on walking nigger lover
Judging by your comments you're probably a INT/FJ women batshit crazy asking for impossible demands reminds me of my EX.
I dare you do it first.
and a lot of women are fat nutcases.
I'm one of those lads that ram it in your mommy and call her a dirty whore while your father watches.
Kek you people are really pathetic. You're so mad a "beta loser with no self respect" is actually a happy and loved man you gotta be a bitter jealous incel about it, because you know that means the problem isn't women. It's you. You are such a piece of shit that's why your ex left you. :)
Sigh I almost added some decorations to mine. Nice touch.
Now let's hear you say it.
We all know it's easy to write anonymous shitposts. Actually this is open to any other posters still lingering around.
OP, I've read the whole thread, and while you're being a little selfish, I do get it. I'm kind of like you. I enjoy having either my personal space or the opportunity to go out with my friends and not have my girl glued to my side potentially getting mad because someone said something crass.
I'm also not really always that ready for sex. Or cuddling/affection. It doesn't mean I don't like them, it's just, like you, I want them on my terms. The problem with us in relationships is just that it can't really be that cut and dry. People work and have commitments, which leaves us in a spot where we only have so much time to commit to a significant other, even if it's inconvenient for how we feel.
I've chosen to be single for quite some time because unless I'm head over heels for that person, I don't want to sacrifice my autonomy. It might be worth just holding back and waiting, rather than trying to "find" someone.
Not working i try to put it on vocaroo and it wont support it. Oh well