Convince me not to do this

I’m a 23 y/o virgin. Partly because I’d rather save sex for marriage and I don’t want to stoop down to random disgusting hookups. I’ve had many opportunities in the past but turned it down everytime. I have though received blowjobs and done other stuff before.

This girl in pic related has been teasing me all week to come over. She’s been taking about what she wants to do to me and how she wants me to fuck her badly. I told her my back was hurting and now she’s going into this in depth scenario how the kind of massage she’d give me.

I’m tempted to go fuck her and lose my virginity, but I know I’ll completely regret it afterward.

I have no problem meeting girls IRL, I’m just looking for the right one to evenatully settle down with. These temptations are getting harder and harder to avoid the older I get.

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OP are you a fucking retard? GO FOR IT DAMMIT and if you want a relationship out of it then try it.

Sex is only as meaningful as the relationship you have with the girl you're doing it with.

Saving it for marriage is extreme and outdated, but saving it for someone you see at least a long term relationship with is a good goal.

I don’t look at her as anything more than just hookup material.

thats why i put the if in there. go for it still. at your age many people would discourage not getting some

Fuck dude, I said convince me NOT to.. not convince me more

Shameless bump

Find somebody you love. Ignore the marriage bit and screw somebody that you're in a stable relationship with. It's better than mindless hookup sex.

Jesus fucking Christ, OP, you're 23 fucking years old. Drop your deluded, antediluvian "sex before marriage" bullshit and hit the fucking developmental milestone you should of passed 8 years ago. I guarantee you the moment you bust a nut you'll come to the crippling realization that you've been waiting all these years for literally nothing. Plus, good luck settling down with the "right one" with absolutely zero sexual experience whatsoever. Your "perfect girl" will spend five minutes on top of you while you struggle to find the hole and immediately realize she's trying to fuck a middle aged man child and bounce to find a dude who has actually lived a little. You've over thinking this. Go get fucked. Stop being a nervous little twat and get some goddamn life experience BEFORE ITS TOO LATE. BEFORE YOU WAKE UP IN TEN OR TWENTY YEARS STILL A VIRGIN BECAUSE YOU KEPT WAITING FOR THE "RIGHT ONE" AND SHE NEVER CAME.

God damnit user.

All women - even virgins, are turned off by virginity in men. Men (or more specifically Chads) really do get their cake and eat it. The ideal woman is meant to be a virgin, the ideal man has many sexual conquests.

Does she know you're a virgin? You must be very good looking to get this response from a woman.

If you know you’re gonna regret it, then don’t do it. Real simple

No she doesn’t

tell her you're a virgin, her response will be interesting and useful for other virgins.
are you really good looking?

It’s too late to tell her, she thinks I’ve fucked hundreds of women lol. I’d say I’m good looking but not even close to a Chad.

You must be strong my brother. Don’t let your urges get in the way of your values

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I lost my virginity somewhat recently at 27 to a woman I hope to eventually marry. I found two sides to it.

First, you probably want to eventually have a healthy sex life, in which case it wouldn't hurt to get some practice in now. In my case, I didn't realize how much masturbation had reduced my sensitivity. If you don't masturbate, that may not be an issue, and you can always get a fleshlight either way. Still, your first time might not be what you expect, and having it with someone other than 'the one' might save you a bit of awkwardness.

On the other hand, any kind of physical intimacy with someone you love feels much better than with someone you don't take seriously. Definitely in the moment, but also afterwards. I'm really glad I lost it to the person I lost it to. If we do make it, I'll be proud to tell our kids she was the only woman I had ever had sex with.

sorry for your loss

I share similar views on sex, also a 23yo virgin who could easily lose it. I would only go through with it if shes very hot. How did you meet her?

Tinder. I’ve had many opportunities with really good looking girls, but I’d rather find myself in a situation like

I just get never get myself to pull the trigger. It’s not even about confidence, I’m a very confident man, I just don’t want to go against my principles.

>should of
You have no room to discuss a person's development.

This meme motivates me. Thanks user

post her pics lad

Do it faggot.

Think of all the time in hell you will serve in hell with her.
Don't do it. Others may look at it as a stupid choice, but the reality is that you are putting your values above carnal desires, your mind above your dick. Don't be a hypocrite and decline it, don't do it.

She literally just sent me this. Fuck my fucking life. The devil is talking to me.

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no please don't whatever you do you won't forgive yourself ahhh whatever shall indonto convince this man not to have a hookup that can lead to weird feelings eventually with either party or the aids I guess ahh is there nothing more anybody can do oohhh no there must be something we can sayyyy

Give in and fuck random thots outside your relationship and develop an unhealthy desire to continue doing it.

Or perserve yourself and find someone worthwhile to have actual loving sex with.

Your choice. The harder choice is often the correct one. Things that are easy are rarely worth anything.

Thank you for the encouragement user. I’ve done a good job holding back my desires so far, and I’ve made it this far, it would be a shame to have let it all go to waste.

oh wow, shes hot. you're definitely going to regret this, lol

Well jeez thanks

Just unmatch. No excuses, no shit. Just unmatch and look for a real relationship, OP.

Cut off contact. You're letting her tempt you, don't do that. You should have stopped her as soon as she sent tits, if not before. You're just a piece of meat to her, something to fulfill some depraved fantasy. You will regret it the second you nut, and that regret will follow you for a long time. You're better than that, user. You can resist the allure of quick gratification and save yourself for a girl that deserves you, not some girl that just wants you to get her off. I hope you make the right decision. I regret losing my virginity, don't let it happen to you.

Probably the same pic she sent to 3 other guys.

Such is the life of a thot.

she fat

oink oink oink

Imagine the blow to her confidence if he cuts her off without any explanation xdd

Do it retard. You are a man - it's in your fucking biology to fuck as many women as possible. Sure you have to keep reasonable standards but if you keep that attitude you will become bitter after a few years when women inevitably disappoint you.
If you want it then go for it.

Why do you think I would become bitter? Because I didn’t experience other women before marriage?

You are a bunch of cunts that set up OP to become an easy prey for some disgusting thot that took miles of dick while he was abstaining (no OP you have no way of knowing unless she is a virgin and even that can be faked) that will exploit his feelings and trust in the future.

I lost my virginity at 18 to a good friend who now barely talks to me. I’ve had sex with two other women since, and I had the same idea as you, but at some point something clicked with me:

“Why save myself for someone who probably hasn’t for me?”

And so, since we were already talking sexy anyway, I asked her if she’d be willing to fuck, and she was. Do I regret it? Nope. I feel like when I do find that someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, I’ll have enough experience to keep a healthy sex life. Also, do you really want to have sex with the same person forever? One of you will get bored and want to explore eventually.

There are women who have a thing for virgin men, maybe that's the case. I have a boss who discovered that our colleague was already in his 20's and was a virgin. For some reason she was totally crazy about it and kept chasing the guy. I don't particularly think he's that cute, but she is very pretty, successful and is already in her late 30's.

You will become bitter once you learn the difference between how you view women now and what they are in reality. Foolish expectations only lead to disappointment. Women can be great but you have to take them as they really are.
Abstaining from sex is the last thing a male should do if in the future he wants to have a healthy relationship that he will be happy in.

Do it fgt.. make her do exactly what she says.. that sounds great

>I’m a 23 y/o virgin. Partly because I’d rather save sex for marriage and I don’t want to stoop down to random disgusting hookups. I’ve had many opportunities in the past but turned it down everytime. I have though received blowjobs and done other stuff before.

I'm like you from the future. 26 now. In a similar situation; but not the same.

My stickler was not wanting a relationship, but rather experience and personality. I wanted someone with a similar level of experience as me, and someone that I could feel comfortable losing my virginity to.
I have still not found such a person.

But something's changed - it happens differently for different people, but I look in the mirror and I see my temples have started going grey. Shadows of wrinkles on my face. My life is not much different from when I was 23, but I *feel* different; older. My body seems to be putting on weight easier; for the first time, I have to exercise to look good. My friends are stopping going out; partying etc.

The point is, youth is fleeting. You will only ever be that young once. Not that such pressures should necessarily move you, but: you will only have license to be that free once.
Also, girls age faster and worse than we do.
I remember my 33 year-old friend telling me exactly this back then. I didn't listen to him.

I hate the idea of throwing my virginity away on a random hookup, but I've come to the conclusion that I'll lose out on *both* my dream of a fellow-virgin-partner, *and* also the once-in-a-lifetime life experiences in my prime, if I wait any longer.

I've made my decision. The next sufficiently-attractive girl that propositions me, I'm accepting.

I can't tell you what to do because our situations are different. But for me, I think upon hearing my words, younger-me would take it to heart. I would tell him to go for that one girl - and moreover, to not beat himself up over it - but instead absolutely relish it.

It's absolutely corny, but: You Only Live Once.

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Appreciate your input, user. I enjoy listening to both sides of the spectrum.

>worshipping a clearly evil abrahamic god while simultaneously believing in a benevolent dead kike on a stck that later turned into a zombie that is supposed to be the same god and ignoring the fact that you're following an altered and degenerated interpretation of his teachings.
>not getting laid because of it


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Yeah. Older women with high mileage that hit a wall but I doubt that this is what OP is after.

I’d prefer a girl around 20-21.

Damn user,mad respect
I'd love to marry someone like that.(19 yo fem virgin here)

Do beware of what this user said tho There's a chance you might never come across the "right person".In fact,reality will never fully overlap with what we want.Love is more about learning to accept the differences between our perception and the real thing.
It's good to have strong principles,but never see life in black and white,don't absolutize them.You don't want to wake up all old and wrinkly,realizing your youth's been wasted away on a foolish idealization of what the perfect partner should be like.
You might even find yourself falling in love with a woman who's the opposite of you, adventurous and overly experienced.

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Thank you

Stay true to your values and beliefs. Sex is just sex, birches come and go, you'll just end up regretting it like you said.

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If sex is just sex and bitches come and go then what is there to regret?

Betraying your ideals by fucking some random bimbo that doesn't care about you

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As a 26 y.o. virgin, thanks for the story. This is how I want my first time to be. The people who say you should lose it to anyone to gain experience don't seem to get it: I'm not after sex for physical pleasure. I'm after it as a consequence of a loving, meaningful relationship. And I would rather have awkward or "vanilla" and with a girl I love than great sex with someone i can't stand - not even mentioning you can get better at sex without leaving the person you're with.

You are in for one rude fucking awakening, lol. Sex can and should be romantic but you have a WAAAAAAAY over-romanticized idea of what sex is. Its just another biological function. Youre making it out to seem like its some sort of infinitely great and important thing when in reality its closer to taking a satisfying piss.

This virgin shit is dumb, im sorry it conflicts with your views but it really is. Get laid. Dont be a whore, but dont be a prude bitch either. Its ok to have sex with people. Preferably someone you have a real relationship with - but in anycase, saving yourself for marriage is retarded. You have no idea how let down youre going to be if your putting that much weight on sex.

tits are too small for my liking. C cup and better, or nothing

even if you start out 'making love' at the beginning, by the end youre always fucking

She's not fat. Def better than being a twig.

Wait what how did OP get girls claiming his dick over tinder? I've gotten matches and it's easy to set up dates but this is looking like he just outright got girls dropping panties immediately.

Virgin Chad? Is that possible?

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>just another biological function
Yeah. Just with the risk of disease or pregnancy, the latter of which leads to 18+ years of being responsible for another human. Not to mention it's the sole reason any of us are alive right now. Or the many proven psychological and emotional effects sex has on people. But nah. No big deal.

>saving it for marriage
I didn't say that. I said I'm waiting for someone i really like and trust. It's been hard to find for some reason. And I've tried. I wanna "get laid" but not with some emotionally distant person who can't even get over their ex and is depressed all the time.

>like taking a nice piss
Yeah, but even the people who say "it's just sex" have arbitrary standards surrounding it, like how the person looks, what they smell like, how they talk etc. You certainly do not have the same thoughts when draining your lizard.

>Or the many proven psychological and emotional effects sex has on people

That's nothing compared to the emotional toll of being in a bad relationship or having your heart broken. I envy you virgins. If you only knew how bad things really were

I’ve been in bad relationships and had my heartbroken as a virgin though..

I've had heart break too so I know how it is. Been really close to losing it to some of the girls I was seeing. Had to break it off when I realized they were not going to satisfy me emotionally at all. I can't see myself with someone who cares so little for my own well being.

I almost lost mine to a trainwreck of a girl. She was so fucking hot but my god she was so fucked up in the head. Had to cut her off.

Why are the hot ones always so fucked up? I have such a hard time leaving my gf because her body is perfect and her DD tits are also literally perfect. And she rides dick better than any girl I've been with. But she cant get past her ex to save her life.

The moral of the story, is that if you're a moral person sex should be something meaningful to you. The more meaningless sex you have, the worse you'll be able to connect with girls.Its really special when its new, and with someone you love. But you'll blow that meaning if you're fucking thots.

Don't do it OP, be strong. I had many opportunities to throw mine away, and it was very tempting at times, but now that I lost my virginity to the love of my life I am so happy. Words can't explain how grateful I am to myself. My boyfriend was also a virgin. Temporary satisfaction of a brief organism could never come close to this feeling. Once this thot ghosts you for what she thinks is a better guy you will definitely regret it. Maybe the other guys in this thread wouldn't, but they they don't share our values.

See the only negative aspect I see in saving it, is that even if I marry the love of my life, what if we're not sexually compatible? Or what if she doesn't have a high libido like I do. Just because I'm a virgin it doesn't mean I don't want to have an amazing, wild, and consistent sex life. I've heard stories of couples waiting until marriage and the sex ended up sucking. But I've also heard the opposite. I don't know, I'm just paranoid that it won't end up being what i imagined it to be all this time and regret not having fun earlier.

My second real gf was literally an 8/10 cute and thin blonde girl with blue eyes. But she was so messed up and when she wanted to fuck I had to turn it down because she was really rude and inconsiderate with me. Nowadays if I even see a photo of her I get turned off. Talking to her for a few minutes is all it takes to remember why we would never work out.

In the end everyone wants to rationalize their choices. Do what you feel is best and fuck the rest.

Guilty pleasure.

Make her pregnant OP

Close your eyes and ask your future wife what you should do.

Since you love her, your future wife, more than anything else on the planet, you should take her advice; not mine...

So OP, what did she say? Is she OK with it or does she cherish your virginity and sharing each other's first times?

>I have though received blowjobs and done other stuff before.
If this is emerging as guilt, don't. Just because you were close, you still didn't do it. Your life isn't like the broken window theory. Forgive yourself and don't self-sabotage on bad rationalizations.

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The truth is that the entire concept of virginity was invented as a social contract for marriage. The truth is that, whether or not you like it, having sexual experience and sexual compatibility is absolutely crucial for relationships in our modern day. Marriage and virginity and "purity" are ideas and concepts that are quickly hurtling their way into irrelevancy. EVERYONE is paranoid that their fantasy is not going to match up with reality but that's what experience is for. Experience teaches us how to rectify our fantasies with reality. It gives us knowledge that we then use to inform our decisions so that they most accurately line up with our wishes. Its cool that you want to be thoughtful about this but "love of my life" means nothing. It takes far more than love to sustain relationships. It takes commitment, sacrifice, compatibility, attraction, desire and, yes, sex. How do we find out how best to attain the best versions of all of these traits? Through practice. Through failure. Through knowing what negative experiences are in order to inform us of good ones. The concept that you're just going to wait for the "right one" and commit to her and everything is just going to be magical and perfect simply because you waited is a fantasy. That isn't real life. I understand that people really respect the institution of marriage and the values they were raised with but that shit is outdated. I mean, there's no other context in which simply "waiting" works. How are you going to just "wait" to buy the perfect bike when you've never ridden one before? How are you going to just "wait" to eat the perfect cake when you have no idea what its supposed to taste like? Think about it guys.

Nope.Eastern Europe.
I think when you'll be in love and all,you won't think about other possibilities,what it could have been.I don't think you'll feel cheated out of your time with the person you love.And you know,grass aint greener on the other side.Ultimately,all relationships are flawed,one way or another.
Maybe the relationship won't turn up the way you imagined it to be,but it was worth trying.It's normal to mess up,don't be afraid to fall in love.Do make mistakes.It's all about learning from them.
Now,I definitely wouldn't lose it on a random hook up.At least do it when you're in a relationship,man.Stay strong.Good luck.

I think its equally a meme idea to say you *have* to practice sex with a bunch of people before you meet someone you really want to be with long term. Yeah sexual comparability matters in that mismatched libidos or values (poly vs mono) can fuck a relationship up. But plenty of people ive talked to have said a relationship with someone they really love would be great even with mediocre sex. I've met others who dont share that opinion. I on the other hand won't date a hot girl who is amazing in the sack if I have zero emotional connection and she pisses me off to no end. Some guys would put up with it for the sex.

>I think its equally a meme idea to say you *have* to practice sex with a bunch of people before you meet someone you really want to be with long term.
Nope. Its just reality. (I never said "a bunch of people" either so save the strawman) What if you wait until marriage, have sex with your partner and discover that they have a shallow vagina and that you physically can't sex with them? What if there are physical limitations like the size and configuration of your genitals that makes sex painful or difficult? What if you or they discover that one of you isn't willing to perform specific kinds of foreplay? What if you only last 15 minutes but your partner needs at least 45 to be satisfied? What if your libidos are so mix-matched that finding the right time to have sex makes the process stressful and more trouble than its worth? These are just a few of the kinds of real life, exceedingly common things that tank relationships every single day and the ONLY way to know whether or not they are an issue is to have sex. We don't live in the 20th century anymore. People aren't socially forced to endure marriages and sex lives they don't want. Divorce isn't taboo anymore. Sex is important in ways that it wasn't 60 years ago. This is real life, whether you think its a meme or not. Decide whatever you want but don't delude yourself.

>But plenty of people ive talked to have said a relationship with someone they really love would be great even with mediocre sex.
Firstly, that seems like a difficult thing to decide having zero experience with sex or how it affects a relationship. It also seems a little difficult to determine that you'd be okay with that having no idea what sex with the specific person you're talking to is like. Kind of seems like you'd actually have to have sex and know its importance is in your life and relationships before making that kind of claim. Kind of hard to put value on an experience you've never had.

I didn't once imply to wait until marriage bro. I said I'm not shacking up with damaged, emotionally unavailable girls who provide nothing to me but boobs and a vagina, just so I can figure out if that one part of our relationship is covered. I'm not sure who said wait till marriage but it wasn't me. When i say the right one I mean someone who makes me feel comfortable with sex. For some reason that's been hard to find (I need to find her attractive, she needs to find me attractive, and she needs to not be a huge mess, and she needs to care about my feelings enough).

Yeah maybe you can't know until you've done it but unless the sex is seriously bad and underwhelming which is an extreme, I know I won't leave someone over it. Not if they can really satisfy me emotionally and show me they respect and love me on a real deep level.

>unless the sex is seriously bad and underwhelming which is an extreme, I know I won't leave someone over it
Yeah, we'll see about that. After ten years of unsatisfying sex with the same woman lets revisit this and see if you're so sure about an experience you know nothing about.

lol not everyone wants to fuck around, or puts sex high on the priority list for relationship satisfaction. Quit projecting your shit onto everyone else and get over it.

>so sure about an experience
I'm gonna go drive my car off a bridge tonight. Since I have never done it before and therefore cannot predict the outcome enough to make an informed decision. I was gonna wait until I actually wanted to kill myself, but I don't want my first suicide to be underwhelming.


There's no honest reason to keep your virginity as a Christian boy in this day and age. Just don't be desperate about it, just stay modest. And use some protection.

Did you wait til marriage? If not, how long into the relationship did you have sex? Like, did you have a set timeline ie. one year of dating or? Sorry for the questions, just curious.

>as a Christian
>no honest reason to keep your virginity
Yes there is. It's called actually being a Christian.

You kinda contradicted yourself here.

I would say in this case it depends on just how much value you put to sex.

On one hand if you're terrible at it, at the very least when you have it with someone who you care deeply about, you'll be good at it by then.

On the other hand though, make sure it's good. Your first time should feel amazing, special and by all means important.

It's better to start younger than to wait as well, makes it that much better for each time after.

Since my breakup I've fucked a whole manner of beasts of women. Large, terrifying creatures with personalities that baffle even the most seasoned adventurer. Sex here turns to a point where you feel nothing except a quick release.

Basically all I'm saying is, make sure this first time has meaning to you, Give it your all and don't let it just be a quick release.

Cause you'll remember it the rest of your life.
25 y/o lost virginity at 19, don't regret it the slightest.

>a women who’s adventurous and overly experienced

So a thot?

OP here. Question:

If I told the girl I’d be down for anything besides PIV sex and she agrees, would I still be going against my morals for temporary pleasure?

If you have to ask , then I think you have your answer.

You're wrestling with a demon in your head OP. Everyone has different morals IRL and here, you'll get a flurry of answers. You need to look within.

You’re right. Thanks for the advice, man. It’s tempting, but I believe I won’t go through with it.

Decided to cut contact.

I see tat you've cut contact with the girl, and that's okay. But, if I've learned anything as a frat boy, having had a lot of sex, 24 woman, I've only ever had 2 women in that pool that the sex was actually incredible. There is a distinctive difference between passionate sex thats grounded in connection with a woman, and just fucking. The feeling of a truly passionate sexual experience is not predicated on the "first time" It's all based on having a real connection with someone.

Stick to your convictions. Don't do it.
I'm like you, 22 year virgin, and kinda in a vaguely similar situation. I know i would regret it.

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Please be in Richmond

OP, if I was in your position, I'd be there with bells on.

But I got my first kiss this past summer at the age of 23 as part of a drinking game. I'm a sad fucking man who is desperate for physical attention and affirmation.

If you care about your virginity or whatever, then don't go for it. But then know you only have yourself to blame if you end up feeling lonely later on.

Listen to your heart and do what feels right. You've got a girl thirsting for you hard. If you wanna have fun, have fun, there's nothing wrong with it.

OP, just get it in.

You've been given an opportunity. There are starving kids in China who don't have any pussy to eat at all.

eh shes fat. dont lose your virginity to a 5/10