Femanons, imagine your are about to have sex with a man and he uttered
"Just want to let you know i'm actually a virgin"
How would you react?
Femanons, imagine your are about to have sex with a man and he uttered
"Just want to let you know i'm actually a virgin"
How would you react?
My advice to you;
>Just want to let you know i'm actually a virgin
Don't say 'actually' it makes it sound like you were intentionally deceiving her. Just say something like
>hey, I've never done this before.
t. Also a virgin
She’d probably be happy that you aren’t a manwhore, and maybe worried that you’ll get too attached due to being a virgin (whether or not this myth is true idk).
To be honest, and this might be personal preference, but I wouldn't care. I would just like to know ahead of time so I know it might not be the best, but I can bring my A-game. Not knowing in advance, and only learning until after our pants are off would frustrate me a lot, not because I want good sex, but because I'd like to mentally prepare for the opportunity to make an otherwise new and scary experience for you not an awkward mess.
t. not a virgin, but also not turbo-roastie (only been when 3 guys, all long term) femanon
I wouldn't mind. My first time wasn't mind blowing at all and sex got a lot better with my boyfriend after that, so I'd extend the same courtesy to him. Really, the most important thing is willingness to learn.
laugh bc he's just being silly. We're both virgins and will be each other's firsts.
Not op, but when would you like to find out, roughly? Like when you're making out right before, we'll ahead of time, the moment we first make eye contact, or what?
When things get heavy would be fine. Like, if you're already inside me and go "hey, by the way, this is my first time" and we just met, again, I wouldn't mind a whole lot, but I don't know, it would spoil a mood that's already set? If you're kissing me and we're about to head to the bedroom or we're gonna get naked, tell me then. In short, don't over think it. Wait until we're about to do it. Tbh, if you've gotten me up to that point and I like you, I won't really give a damn either way because I'm horny and I'd make it work, but all girls are different, user.
I know it's obviously not ideal, but how would you feel about a guy telling you well before you've had sex, but after you're 'in a relationship' (as opposed to just dating)? I suck at escalating things, and I'm kinda wondering if telling a girl beforehand might make her a little more patient or understanding.
I know this is totally subjective and specific to the girl in question though.
Honestly, wait. Telling me that beforehand would kind of make me feel like you think you already got the goods. Take things casually. Don't blurt that out. Make me like you first by telling me what you do, what your plans are, what music do you listen to, etc
Complexes are really easy to spot, so seriously, don't stress. Don't act like you have sex every weekend. Act like yourself. Unless you are in your late 30's I won't think you're seriously that weird for being a virgin, especially if you're introverted like me or my ex's and husband.
I know this will sound weird, but act like the girl is your guy friend, but don't talk about your penis or video games or other stuff like that. If you have interesting hobbies that you can show off (that aren't fucking video games, I swear to Christ) than talk about those. Talk about your ambitions. Just have fun. The V bomb will come when I'm at your house.
Not who you replied to, but probably when you feel you're "heading towards" sex- you've been kissing/making out for a while. It's hard to say objectively when that point is. I think it's more important how you frame it. "Hey, I've never really done anything like this so let me know what feels good" or something to that effect is a lot more appealing and easier to work with than "I'm a virgin, so sorry if I suck". Make it clear that you're willing to learn and communicate what feels good with her. But regardless, as said, if you're already at this point she clearly likes you and admitting you're a virgin is only going to drive away the shittiest kind of person.
why would you even admit to this? it's stupid and a turn off, like it or not but preselection is a big deal in male attractiveness and never having been able to fuck other women after 18 is not a good sign
just do yourself and the girl a favor and lie, at the most just say you had a dry spell for whatever non embarrassing reason, but for the love of god never admit to being a virgin because no she won't be understanding, it's embarrassing and unattractive and unmanly
Oh man, Jow Forums is leaking again. Pack it up, girls. Apparently, we're fucking robots and only fuck men who's seen more holes than a pro golfer.
Times have changed so damn much... when I lost my virginity I was TERRIFIED the guy would know I was a huge loser/freak for being a virgin at 23. Because in the ‘80s-‘90’s any girl who hadn’t had a dick in her by the time she was 17 was considered such.
However, he knew. And he loved it.
Well I am a guy and said that to the girl I lost it to many times before doing anything and she did not believe that I was a virgin afterwards. Felt kinda shit to hear that.
If a girl said to me that I am her first I'm not sure if I would go a bit slower or go way faster just getting the hots.
that's qt. i prefer virgin guys but i can never find them since they don't actually advertise the fact.
kek i think i will do this if the moment should ever come. in the end it is only a minor detail and i'd like to prevent utterly exposing myself like this. it's like telling a millionaire that you eat from the trash can or something like that.
Even if he wasn’t already a weirdo, saying that like it makes any sense to do so would be a huge red flag
Shut the fuck up. Preselection has been accepted across the board as fact for decades you stupid fuck.
Evolution didn’t just stop working once people began writing.
As a guy, I'd honestly just lie. That's what I did. Sex is not as hard as virgins make it seem.
I had the benefit of doing it hammered with a condom on so my chances of "cumming" early was non-existent. It's better to just go for it and see what happens for multiple reasons.
1) You may honestly be average at sex to begin with which would make your insecurity a moot point.
2) Adding the virgin aspect changes the entire atmosphere of the whole act. It takes her (and yourself) out of the element.
Just do the basic things you would expect sexual partners to do to each other (assuming this is a heterosexual interaction).
The ONLY situation in which I would've told the girl I was a virgin is if it was a girl I was already dating for a while and the statement wouldn't affect much because she already likes me and would be willing to temper her expectations.
It'd make me happy and relieved to be honest because I am a virgin too. It'd make me less self-conscious about my inexperience. Plus exploring things together for the first time would be lots of fun.
Generalizations break down on the individual level and stop working. At that point it falls solely to personal preference.
>(that aren't fucking video games, I swear to Christ)
REEEEE stop trying to take away my vidya!
Seriously though, I know not to ramble about games to people that aren't interested. Talking to girls and being comfortable around them isn't my issue, it's communicating "I would like to have sex with you, please." that I struggle to do.
desu it would turn me on more
I'd ask myself how I didn't sniff this out before we got to the bedroom.
If that were the case, I'd re-exam my decisions and make sure that this is something that I'm prepared to do properly. First times can be emotional and I would wanna do right by him and make sure I take care to do it right and to be patient.
If he and I are into each other and this isn't just some pump and dump one night stand, I'd take the time to learn what turns him on and work with that. I'd talk about porn and what I like and ask him what he watches and what he might want to try some day.
I'd start off gentle and patient and try to be good, but then I'm sure I'd start to test new things out and throw in a few surprises to see what he thinks. After all, I am the one he trusted with his V-card. That's either flattering or sad, depending on his situation in life.
Once he's got a few rounds under his belt, I'd make sure to introduce him into some of my kinks and fetishes. Spoil him for the next girl he takes.
This fucking HAPPENED TO ME !!!!
not him but i have to defend his original point. its simple game theory in a way. if the probability of you finding some nasty and ruthless girl is 80% then your best bet is to adopt a strategy where you become a con man and lie about the topic at hand. if youre lucky and it turns out to be a good girl you can tell afterwards. its pascals wager applied in normal life kek.
story? or greentext either or
>if the probability of you finding some nasty and ruthless girl is 80%
Why do all of you neurotic and stupid incels assume a woman is by default out to get you? Like, were you wronged as a child?
Yeah and then you actually get out there dealing with individual, specific people one at a time and all this bullshit flies completely out the window and half of your projections and assumptions get BTFOd with the first ten words she says to you because you're dealing with their own specific interests and thoughts and not whatever strawman you test your theories against in isolation as if the average family literally has 2.5 kids as if that was physically possible.
Same. Being someone's first is hot as hell. It's only awkward if you make it awkward.
not by default, i said 80% lol.
His name is Leggy, and he's just as capable as all the other kids on the playground, you shut your fucking mouth.
anyone who sincerely thinks 80 percent is in a very dark place
I think telling a woman you're a virgin generally is a really bad idea.
It has to do with the perception that:
1.) You lack sexual confidence
2.) You don't have the experience sexually or otherwise and generally don't "get" women - how to turn them on etc.
3.) Something must be wrong with you that nobody has wanted to sleep with you.
Obviously these are generalizations (generalizations aren't universals so don't reply to me with hurr durr this breaks down on the individual levels like some retard) but they are fair, I think some women don't understand that we do not come out of the womb with a complete and thorough understanding of how to be attractive to women. They expect you to just "get it" and view educating somebody on sex or having the quality of sex in a relationship improve as it goes on, as "wasting time". These probably aren't women you want to date anyways.
Swear to fuck if there was a kid like that at school I would have been best fucking bros with him
I was cool with all the special needs kids, even the midget that all the popular kids liked. Hope you doin alright, lil nigga.
So you're saying that, because you're 80% certain the woman is "nasty and ruthless", you'll lie 100% of the time? Sounds like a default to me. You really didn't think your comment through did you? Pic related
Good rule of thumb
Stop reading when you see these words
Wha- what? There are actually girls out there that think it's hot to take a guy's virginity?
Whatever you say dumb fuck
>1.) You lack sexual confidence
>2.) You don't have the experience sexually or otherwise and generally don't "get" women - how to turn them on etc.
>3.) Something must be wrong with you that nobody has wanted to sleep with you.
The first two are true though. And they're things I'd like my hypothetical future gf to be at least mostly OK with.
well default would mean 100% for me but whatever. you appear mad, relax lol. im not some "neurotic incel" calling all women whores or something. you probably dont get it but what appears as vitriol to you is merely attempting to reach a standard that might very well be out of reach for people like me. people like me cant make one single mistake.
I mean, yeah. It's rare to find a guy who's got his shit together late and still has his V card, but it's literally a huge fantasy of mine to find a late blooming man who's sweet and has all his eggs in a basket, and then just ravage his shit like a puma until we are married and he's been sexually "corrupted" all 'cause of me. You think men are the only one's who like taking virginity? Get fucking real.
My standard put forth so far is "is the dude honest" and "is the dude not a fuckboy". Nothing else. Stop getting defensive. Next lesson so you can eventually grow up and find a waifu: it's okay to admit when you're wrong, champ. No need to get defensive and walk away from the argument like a coward.
The fact that you *think* you can't make a mistake just shows how brainwashed you are into thinking that women are witches.
>Even in womens shitty fantasies you still need a good job, education etc...
I long for the day this shit isn't used to judge my value.
well i live in a harsh and unforgiving world but i will consider your words. maybe you are right.
You. Don't. Need. To. Have. A. Perfect. Job.
You. Don't. Have. To. Be. Rich.
Having your shit together means:
>can cook and clean for himself while he's single, but doesn't necessarily have to be great at it
>showers and grooms properly
>has a job that's pays his bills and has PLANS (see: things that haven't happened yet) to move forward and advance his career (nothing needs to be immediate)
>has a hobby that isn't playing video games for 10 hours a day, binging Netflix, or reading Wikipedia articles (seriously, learn something that you can share with me, even if you think I won't think it's interesting)
That's basically it. You'd have the exact same standards for us, but most of us do all of this shit already. Everything else is down to whether or not she likes your long hair, whether she's into your motorcycle kick, whether you like a sports team she doesn't (IDK I don't watch sports), and other shit that comes down to nitpicky preferences that you guys do for us girls all the time, except for you it's >tfw no gf to watch ssss gridman and play fortnite with
i'm sorry we expect you to shower
>got his shit together
Damn. So close. I'm in a good degree programme and I look pretty good, does that count for anything?
Out of curiosity and self interest, how old are you?
I didn't say shower.
Maybe I've spent too long in major cities, but this is not what the majority of women here mean when they say *Got your shit together"
I'm gonna be 100% honest with you, user, but I don't believe you? Being fit is nice as well, but otherwise, that checks every single box for me and literally all my friends. Like, tell me what you do on your weekends, honestly, and I'll tell you what you need to change? Unless you're convinced that these "city girls" are totally right.
I mean, yeah. Also, I'm 26. Also, don't ride those looks forever. Men love saying how they "age like wine", but if all you are is a pretty face and you're useless in all other facets of your life, no girl in their right mind will stay around.
You NEED to leave Jow Forums if this surprises you. NEED.
It's not just a suggestion, your life is irreparably fucked if this genuinely hits you as a surprise and you need to get the fuck off Jow Forums because it is legitimately stunting your growth and development, to the point of regressing you in both areas.
Why the FUCK does everyone in this board insist that men tell women they are virgins? You don't need to fucking tell her anything. Just have sex with her and get it over with. If you tell her you are a virgin she WILL think less of you. There's no way around that. Unless of course she's also a virgin and same age as you but that's probably never the case here.
>inb4 she will find out anyway
Doesn't matter. You can just say you haven't had sex in a while or something.
>lying is bad
Everyone lies. Only a shut in would think that a relationship requires 100% honesty 24/7.
>hey girl you should know I'm a huge loser by the way haha you are about to have sex with a loser! you are the only one who's lowered herself so much that she's actually having sex with me! no girl has ever had standards THIS low before
Like it or not this is exactly how you sound.
What I do on my weekend depends a lot. Sometimes I go to art galleries or museums, sometimes I go watch a movie, or a show/ballet. Might go to a bar at night, don't really like clubs but I go dancing a bit. There are some weekends I stay in and read or play games, play guitar, and other things.
It varies a lot.
>Just have sex with her and get it over with.
she might find out right there and then due to the shitty performance
I mean, I intellectually know that it's a thing, but I still kinda struggle to believe it's more than a fringe interest.
Don't ask women for advice of this kind, they are probably not gonna be honest. You should only take advice for guys who have had sex and see how each option turned out. What happened to the guy that lied, what happened to the guy that told the truth, and how old they were when this happened.
Who cares? Read my post. Just lie and say that you haven't had sex in a long while. Maybe you were busy with something or you simply didn't have a girlfriend for a while. But saying you never had sex will sound like you were never able to get a girl. That's a turn off. You are telling the girl that she's the first one to aim so low and have sex with a guy every other girl found undateable. This gets worse as you age. If you are still 21 or younger it's okay. If you are older it's unacceptable to be a virgin unless you are saving it for marriage since that's still a somewhat acceptable reason.
Because some guy who has to play angry comparison games on Jow Forums is a good place to take advice from.
But hey, whatever puts you to sleep at night, right?
I really hope you don't want kids with that attitude, user.
That's what every guy on Jow Forums wants these days, right? A pregnant tradwife they can tie up in their basement?
That actually seems interesting enough. Yeah, I don't consider games a hobby, but if you play guitar well enough, that's great. What's your job and job path looking like? Don't care how much you make.
Calling something you don't like as Jow Forums doesn't make you smarter.
All I'm saying is that I'd like to not have kids with a dishonest fuckboy, and you guys aren't as good at lying as you think you are.
Everyone lies in a relationship, I guess you must be still in high school or something if you don't know that
I've already said I'm 26 and happily married, thanks.
I'm a Communications manager (Connecting corparations and universties together, shit like that) and freelance web developer.
God forbid somebody is a beginner at something right?
You are not aware of this but your husband lies to you often, for your own good but also because he doesn't want you to be ashamed of him.
Thanks. I'll lose all this sleep tonight. You've truly enlightened me.
>God forbid somebody is a beginner at something right?
Okay, this right here is already a red flag. I understand that it's difficult to understand tone through text, but I wasn't trying to insult you. I meant that you play regularly. You're right, it *is* okay to be a beginner at something. It's not okay to feel like your hobby not only defines you negatively if you're not good at it yet, nor is it okay to have an inferiority complex. I'm not saying you are, now! I'm only saying that, with the comment you just made, that is what it sounds like, let me be clear. As for your job, that sounds really good as well. Last question: are you overweight? It's cool if you are, but this would be one last thing I'd like to know.
>I actually fucking meet all of these
>not even fat
>haven't asked anyone out in five years
>27 y/o virgin
I've played myself.
It is difficult to get tone through text, but do you understand how all these little "caveats" come across like? I assume you don't. Honestly, I doubt "well enough" even with tone would have come across the way you explained it. If you meant that I played regularly you would have just said that, not something that implies competence.
I'm not over weight, i'm 6'4 220lbs *Useful muscle" is my build.
Get off Jow Forums and get off Tinder, man. You'll lose it by Valentine's day if you follow through, put up with some of the bullshit on there, and have a pulse.
3 men is turboroasty
It only applies to the person they were with though. If you ain't gonna fuck that chick specifically the advice is useless. With your luck you'll end up fucking a chick with a fetish for popping cherries and then she just gets pissed at you because she didn't get to enjoy it.
Nah I'm definitely not useless in every other aspect of my life. I'm reasonably smart, people tell me I'm funny, my life is mostly on track, and I'm in decent shape.
get on* Tinder sorry!
If I had a fucking notebook...
>I assume you don't.
Assumes my intentions even after I have clearly attempted to explain them: check
>you would have just said that
Assumes I can't make poor word choices without obviously being malicious, implying that women can't make mistakes, not the other way around: check
>not something that implies competence
Again loading my words with baggage for me: check check check
I don't care how tall you are, I can hear plates breaking in the kitchen from a mile away. I'm not trying to be your enemy here. You need to be more positive about your attitude. Literally everything else about you will get you in her bed on Tinder, so I don't know what you're doing wrong besides acting like girls judge you for all of the great things going for you and not your attitude. Seriously, that sounds like the only thing you have to work on. Just be more approachable. Just take a day and assume that everyone you interact with is acting in good faith and see where that gets you.
Thanks for the rousing opinion. I'll put it in my pocket.
It's 2.30am here so i'm going to bed, but i'll re-read in the morning and bear it in mind.
>I can hear plates breaking in the kitchen from a mile away
stealing this lol