Shpuld he go to jail?

My son is 21, extremely lazy (isn't working or going to school, and lives off me and the government). He is immature and super lazy. He acts like every single thing he has to do is torture (cleaning dishes, doing laundry, vacuuming, general cleaning and organizing, etc.) He acts like he's out of breath every single task he does! On his free time (which he has way too much of in my opinion), he lays in bed and listens to music and stares at pics on his. This behavior isn't acceptable and I am considering getting tough on him. As much as I love him, I think it's time to use tough love. If he doesn't change this behavior by his 22nd birthday (coming up next month), I will call the police and have him arrested. I don't mind him living with me, but obviously I'm not going to be around to lift him up forever, so he needs to step up and stop acting like everything is so tiring! I don't care if he doesn't like it, feelings do not matter in a case like this! He has three choices: Get a job, attend a school, or go to jail!

I talked with my neighbor about this, and she agrees with me. It's time for my son to face tough love.
He does house chores, but always acts out of breath after them, even if it's a small thing!

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Unless he's actually doing something illegal, the police are just going to get mad at you for making a false call and wasting their time because you're a shitty parent.

To follow up, if for some reason you manage to pull this off and get your son falsely arrested and charged for something, all you accomplish is making him actually unemployable.

You sound like a selfish parent. Kicking him out of the house might be good for him but why get the police involved? This whole post has to be trolling, I'm an idiot.

It's entirely your fault. You shouldn't have had children if you were going to complain. It's your fault, you had a choice and you chose to have children. There are a fuck ton of methods you can use to avoid a pregnancy, and if those fail there's always celibacy. You chose to have a kid, the kid didn't choose to be alive. You forced his existence upon him. He was your responsibility and you failed. You are the lazy one and the immature one.

Oh my god are you people really taking this post seriously? Hey, while you're at it I've got a cool motivational speech to check out youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

No, I just wanted to get that anti parent stuff off my chest.

>haha i was just pretending to be retarded XD

I'm gonna end up in the same situation with my brat. He's 11 now but I don't see him changing. I don't think the people blaming you know shit. You can be a good parent with bad kids or the opposite.. My plan is to give him nothing but what is required by law when he is fifteen or sixteen. Standard clothing, adequate but no fun food, a place to sleep. No tv, internet, music. Nothing. I figure if I make him uncomfortable enough he will be motivated to do things for himself. If he needs to hate me, I guess that's okay.

I bought property when I was eighteen and his mommy came here by herself from another country. We are each decent members of society and neither rich nor poor enough to spoil or deny him. I don't know what the fuck.

Kids only respect strenght and follow the strenght. You are probably weak pathetic fool and your kid dont give a shit about your weakness. Do what you must.

Okay so outside of the whole "this shit stinks of bait", if it is real you've already lost the war. By coddling and resiging yourself to allowing this behaviour into his twenties, you've ruined him. Call a therapist and get him some help. Or throw him on the street and let him flounder. Either way, you've done enough damage.

So you're planning on making his life so mundanely miserable that he A) hates you for the rest of his life and B) may decided that his lot is worth suicide because he believes his parent doesn't love him.

If this is your idea of proper parenting then you shouldn't have had kids and you're an idiot for thinking deprivation will do anything but sour him farther. Grow up and learn how to parent or just resign yourself to losing him now.

>probably
Your words are weak. Why use such pusillanimous language? Fight like a man.

Hells yes. If someone is too damn lazy to do for themselves what they should be doing and they’re just living off of the government tit, then, by all means, yes, they should be arrested. They’re no better than theifs.

The word "probably" was to point out my uncertainity in judging your character. I was about 50% sure that you are weak and pathetic the other 50% was retarded and pathetic. Now after reading your comment it seems to be both with bonus of autism.

Enjoy your retarded kid because it seems he has your genetics.

>you raised him like a bitch, like the bitch you are anonymous. This would never fly under my parents roof

You have sting but you seem like a child. It is out of love that I will deprive. If anything I am guilty of trying to enjoy our time too much. He shows no progress in maturing. If he makes it through without killing him self. He will understand why I did this and thank me for self sufficiency. It is the hardest thing to realize that your child is incapable being the man that you are. Every father should wish to be outdone by his son.

Your kid hasn't even gone through puberty and you already consider him a failure? People like you shouldn't even have kids

No. I'm just being realistic. He is lightyears behind where his mother and I were at his age. Of course, I tell him he is wonderful. And let him know in a matter of fact way, when he makes mistakes. That motherfucker is smart as fuck and everything is easy for him. Therefore, he never tries. This ain't my blog. Let's try to help OP

You can't get him arrested for being a bum without trying to evict him first.

Spoiling your only kid. Should have fucked your wife more times so he would have competetion with borthers and sisters. Now suck it up fag.

You're stupid for thinking he won't change, people develop at different paces.
You don't have to deprive your kid to make them independent. Just put him situations where he's exposed to failure, like playing sports.

>You're stupid for thinking he won't change
You're just as stupid for thinking he will. That, plus the added bonus of having never met this kid and knowing absolutely nothing about him.

> No. I'm just being realistic. He is lightyears behind where his mother and I were at his age.
That's because society and the economy are NOTHING like what they were when you grew up.
Fucking boomers, I swear.

You have a valid point. I lost my ability to children. He probably made it through the vagina gauntlet because there were no other competing swimmers.

Yes, The smartest animals in nature have the slowest development. You think I haven't heard this from myself? It is wise to hope for the bes and prepare for the worst

>The smartest animals in nature have the slowest development
they do not.

>The smartest animals in nature have the slowest development
This doesn't make sense on any level.

Octopuses are brilliant and only live to be 2-3 years old.

I was born in 77 and had kid at 30 and a half.
I'm having a good time with here. I hope OP benefits from my abuse. You are right. Things are different. That ain't nothing new for any generation. I know that he is living in his world and I can't expect to have the outside influence of the time and place of my childhood. I make plenty of excuses and I stick to my guns plenty. Hard to know when to do which. But the wife will usually do the opposite so, there is a balance.

Humans. Elephants. What the fuck guys.

Those guys are fucking aliens. You have to adjust schedule to Octopus years.

Dolphins, monkeys.

all of them have normal development cycle. Elephants take long to grow because they are big.

I understand you want him to get a job or study but how the fuck is laying in bed and listening to music on his free time unacceptable?
It's his free time. Free to use however he wants. If he wants to listen to music he should be able to. Do you also get someone telling you how you should spend your free time?

>no fun food, a place to sleep. No tv, internet, music. Nothing.
You will be depriving him of basic social interaction and all those things that make life enjoyable.
Guess what, he will not have anything to talk with his friends in school because his deprived of all of those things, if he has friends. If he doesn't he will have a hard time making them. He will lay in his bed and do nothing the rest of the day. He will end up depressed and finally he will learn how to find enjoyment without all of those things.
Without you, without friends, without music, without Internet, with nothing. He will have lost all motivation to do anything at all.
At that point you have basically no control over him whatsoever. You've already punished him when he did nothing, depriving him of everything. What are you going to do when he actually does something. There will be nothing you could take from him.
Get this through your head. Your kid is not you, his life is not yours. He's young, let him be for fucks sake.
Be a respectful, patient, hard-working, loving parent. Make him admire you and he will learn from you. He will see how you did so much so young and he will want to do the same or even better. That's where he will find his motivation.

Poor choice of words on my part. Talking about maturity. Reliance on mother. What ever, fuck animals. It can very well be the bs I'm telling myself. I know that. I ain't having an animal debate. I shall troll elsewhere. I feel bad for high jacking. However I am. I can be an example of what to do or what not to do. Whatever floats your boat. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round.

What the fuck are you talking about? Slowest development in comparison to what?

>Poor choice of words on my part.
Poor choice of thoughts, user.

>. He will lay in his bed and do nothing the rest of the day.
No. He will do some fucking work around the house so that he might earn some privileges and have something to talk to his friends about.

I see what you mean but, I honestly don't think that anybody in here is speaking from parental experience. I already had your thoughts when I was a child and then again for the last eleven years. That's all most parents do is think about kid shit.

Low reading comp my friend. See the part where I readily admit to trying to bs myself?

He can do some work of course, that's nice. However give him back everything as soon as he's finished. Don't take it away for no reason.

Nobody is the same person at 11 and 21.

That's a very broad, idiotically over-simplified statement. No, nobody's psyche remains 100% unchanged from 11 to 21. Can their core personalities and habits remain, for the most part, unchanged? Sure. Can they get worse? Absolutely. Yes, people develop, but in what manner they develop and how much they develop is an entirely subjective, very specific question.

No. None of that pussy shit. I Ned to first see a great deal of work and he will see a small amount of privilege. When I see permanent improvements taking hold, He will get a small amount of permanent privilege. He will man up to the point that he has my respect and I approve of his judgement in how he uses his downtime. And my opinion will no longer matter because he will have the skills to ,are choices for himself and can go wherever he will and run with scissors and eat ice cream for dinner.

If he has done what he needs to do he should be able to get back all of his things. He has done his part why would you keep punishing him? If he stops take them back, as easy as that.
When he does his chores the rest of the time should be up to him to use however he pleases.

I'm sure he's gonna try that same bullcrap logic. Not gonna yoyo good one day, bad the next. Gotta change the way he thinks, not the way he acts.

Oh he sure will change his mentality when his father punishes whether he acts good or not. He will just do whatever he wants because first of all it's a waste of time to do otherwise and second of all he doesn't want the approval of a scumbag.
The only one using bullcrap logic here is you to justify acting as an asshole to your child until you "see permanent improvement's taking hold" which basically just means whatever undetermined shit you want and whenever you feel like. He's not you and he will never be. It seems to me like you want a clone not a son.

Doing whatever he wants is what gets him into this situation. He has been warned five years in advance. I don't consider giving what is required by law as punishment. Extra work, missing after school stuff, not hanging with friends, spanking. These are punishments. I am not required to give some POS shit that he doesn't deserve. That is not punishment..
Also would never use not hanging with friends as a form of punishment. It is important to establish connections and his friends will be there for him when I am dead and gone. I will defer punishment if it gets in the way of his social life. I bet you didn't think I was that cool.

There are many times when things you wouldn't expect to have an effect end up having it.
Don't give him a phone, after all it's not required by law. Good luck making connections with people.
Leave him without Internet, take away the possibility of discovering new things or experiencing those everyone of his age does, at the end he won't have anything to share and will be like an outcast. What could they be talking about? He won't know because his father thought he would man up without Internet because he bought a house when he was 18.
Instead of encouraging him to learn about new things, leaving him liberty to discover himself and make his own personality give him only the basic requirements to survive: food, clothing, and a bed to sleep, plus some work. You will end up with a drone and he will be as good as in prison.
Delude yourself that you're not punishing him at all if you want. You're putting every obstacle to his growth and that's bad.
There's a whole difference between not spoiling him and what you want to do.

Anyway I wish you good luck.

You speak wisdom and I have already considered these things. They will factor double in my thinking because you have given weight to them. I cannot tell if you are a youngster or an elder.

Good luck to you as well.

Is he maybe really out of breath though? Like he may actually be hiding a health condition?

Thank you. He's still young so take it easy.

Just look at the life long friends you've had. I bet a large amount of them were almost completely different people by that time. My point is you can't assume someone won't change much between the ages of 11 and 21 because most of the time people change a lot

Find out what your kid does and try spending some time with him doing things that he likes without talking business. Learn about your kid, I know there's more to him than you think.

The more time you spend the more you relate, the more you relate the better he'll understand how important it is for him to establish himself (without you having to sell the idea). You'll likely figure out why he feels the need to shelter himself from the world.