I fucked up everything in my life. Don't know what to do

Please no bully.

Basically I met my GF on an online forum. I'm in my early twenties. We got along really well and fell in love. Everything was good for a while, until one time we had unprotected sex. And from that one time, she got pregnant. I tried to convince her to have an abortion for a long time, and she wouldn't have it. Until she eventually budged, and we were already at the clinic ready to take the pills. Before that she was constantly guilt tripping me telling me how bad it is to kill our baby etc. So at the abortion clinic I felt too guilty and told her to not do it. She was happy and relieved and told me I made the right decision.

The whole pregnancy was basically just constant fighting. Even broke up when I found some sexual messages she sent to another guy at the beginning of our relationship. But got back together. She didn't cheat as far as I know.
Anyways, after fighting for 9 months our son is finally born. I was happy for a bit but then the dread set in: I am too young for this. Our son is basically 18 hours of work a day, and needs to be attended to constantly. I never wanted children and I also look way too young to be a dad(I look like I could be 16). Yes it sounds lame but it is fucking embarrassing honestly. I feel like I'm just wasting my whole life with my GF and our kid. I can do nothing after work because she bothers me the whole evening and our son needs to be taken care of. I have a feeling she will eventually cheat on me and I will have wasted my young life for absolutely nothing. I love my son but I don't want to spend my time taking care of a baby and changing his diapers etc. It is just not for me. It really frustrates me. This is a woman's task.

I'm not really attracted to my GF anymore. I also don't like her personality because I feel like she always starts pointless drama and fights and basically is just a giant time sink. She is overly protective of her laptop and phone, so she is probably doing some sketchy shit.

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cont.

I just think I’ll waste all of my time and money on her and taking care of a kid and get cheated on in return. I am not able to do any of the things I wanted to do in life because of this. I can’t start a business, can barely go to the gym, nothing. And on top of that I moved to another country(my gf’s home country) where I don’t really want to stay anymore.

I don’t want to abandon my son but I also don’t really want to take care of him. I don’t like my gf but I also don’t want to see her with another man. I also don’t want another man to raise my son. I just don’t know what to fucking do. We also live in the same apartment, I want to move out but I can’t because I have to pay all the fucking bills myself. My GF got a job now and my mom is taking care of our son temporarily, but when our son comes back I’m worried that she will try to dump the responsibility of taking care of him on me because she has a job now. And then I will get fired from my job and stuck with our child at home. I just don’t know what to fucking do. I don’t want to be one of those niggers that abandon their child but my whole life will be wasted and fucked if I don’t.


What am I supposed to do? Can anyone give me advice?

You done goofed. That's why abortion should be legal.

Anyways, you made that choice the moment you went in unprotected.
Now you have to be a man. It's not your life anymore. Everything from now on is for your son.
Of course, you can be an asshole and just disapear, like a shitton of men do (male abortion, normal stuff). Your gf won't have that choice since she can't just bail and pay some money every month, and I have a feeling that you understand that Time is a lot more valuable than money.

Man up, stick to it, grow up and be a father.
"It's a woman's task" LOL I wonder why so many younglings have so bad daddy issues.
Don't be a son of a bitch. Be a man.

Also, if you don't like your girlfriend, you can break up/divorce and still be a present, responsible parent.

Well you did say no bully so i guess you're just fucked, your kid is fucked and your gf is fucked. The best thing you can do now is go teach in schools so nobody else follows in your retarded footsteps

Yeah it's easy to say "just be a father". Imagine if you have a child that literally requires attention 18 hours a day and you can do absolutely nothing else all day. I am fucking 23 years old, practically still a child myself. By "just being a father" I will not be able to achieve any of the things I wanted in life and basically stay poor my entire life. And by being there for the child, my gf will always be able to terrorise me and annoy me with all of her drama bullshit. I'll have to see that cunt weekly for the rest of my life. It's just not fucking worth it. I even offered her to take care of the kid myself if she gives me all the rights to him and resigns as the parent. But she refuses to do it, but still complains about "doing my work all day".

Basically I will just waste my entire life unless I leave.

That's why I said no bully. I know what I did was retarded and I already feel fucking horrible about it. Whenever any user posts about his gf getting pregnant on accident I always give them to advice to get an abortion. I don't want this to happen to anyone else.

Get a fucking paternity test to make sure that kid is yours, whether or not you believe she cheated. Get a fucking dna test.

Trust me brother, I would but the kid looks exactly like me. You best believe if it didn't look like a copy of me I would've gotten a DNA test and taken the first flight out of here if it wasn't mine.

I've come to the point where I get a legit surge of happiness when I pretend like my GF cucked me and the kid wasn't mine. Then I could just leave. I literally wish I got cucked.

why don't you just leave and take your kid on the weekend or something?

Men and their "I'm still a child syndrome". Never gets old.
Of course it takes 18h a day: it's a fucking baby.
And it will NEVER be as hard as you as it is on her. And if you do bail, you can start your life anew, and chicks even like a dad with no dad responsabilities
She? Forever a single mother, used and disposed. Whose fault? Hers, because she chose poorly.

OK, you made a mistake.. The only thing worse than what has happened is the idea it could happen again. Wear a condom now, and forever.

You don't need to stay with you GF, but you need to get a job and provide for your son. My advice is to get something quick in the medical field, like phlebotomy or something. Takes a few months.

It's going to get worse before it get's better, but keep in mind that everyone fucks up and falls behind at some point(not just you) Some people get addicted to drugs, some people get pregnant,some people get sick for various reasons, some people go to jail and have a record they need to deal with. The most important thing is to not fuck up again. keep on the straight and narrow, and in 10 years or so, you will be in a much better situation.

Sorry your life sucks user, but try your best now to do the right thing and make it better, ok? I know it's hard to belive now, but your 30s are more enjoyable than your 20s anyway, so build yourself a foundation to have a good life in 10 years. Remember, your son didn't ask to be here, and maybe if his mom is crazy, but having a good dad will be a real life saver for him. I grew up with a cray mom and a good dad(he didn't want me at first), and I love my dad and have a great relationship with him, even though he and my mom no longer talk. Dads are very important. they don't get enough credit in society, but the statistics are on their side. Chin up kiddo, it will get better, but it's going to be hard for a bit too.

>I don't want to spend my time taking care of a baby and changing his diapers etc. It is just not for me. It really frustrates me. This is a woman's task.
So you want to go around having unprotected sex and slinging your semen wherever you like then the moment you have to take responsibility for where it lands you want to say some bullshit like "this is a woman's task"? Taking care of the human life that you created through your conscious choices is a "woman's task"? You're a shit person. I could give less of a fuck about your happiness. I could give less of a fuck if you and your girlfriend like each other. You fucked up and had a child; a child who never asked to be born. Your only responsibility is taking care of him. The moment you had a child their needs immediately took priority over yours. Whatever issues you have with your relationship or your choice to have unprotected sex aren't your son's fault and you deserve to be hit by a bus if you let your own personal resentment cause your son any suffering. You're a father. Your job is to not fuck your son up. Now be a fucking man and take responsibility for your choices.

I find it amusing that Jow Forums is full of femanon bullies.

you only have to change diapers for a short while though, a couple years at most. Then they start to develop personalities and shit.

Good thing the government will never let you escape the messy situation you put yourself in. I hope your GF squeezes every last dollar out of you, or that you finally realize you aren't a kid anymore, man up and be a good father to your poor child.

I'm a 32 year old man who also has a child. Based "must be a woman" shitpost aside, being a distant/abandoning parent and mentally fucking your kid up for life because raising them was too inconvenient for you makes you a pile of shit parent and a pile of shit human. That really isn't up for debate.

Drop your gf like a hot potato, if you want you can keep the kid since your mom is helping you, kid won't make you miserable forever but it sounds like your gf will.

AHHH can't believe you kept the kid op you're a monster for doing this to yourself. I talk with every girl i have sex with and ENSURE that in the chance of anything going wrong that we both agree to an abortion.

First of all user its okay to feel everything you're feeling. The baby is super young though so it may need 18 hours of a attention a day now but when they are 5 or 6 they made not need it as much.


raising a kid can be really rewarding user. Your son is your legacy on this earth. You feel this way now but imagine if you put your all into him, imagine if you are always around, if you are always giving him pep talks, teaching him how to tie his shoes, being there when he rides a bike for hte first time and then he grows up to be a successfull business person. its gonna feel hella good.

user when i was 14 years old my nephew was born and i remember i stopped hanging around my brother as much but i look back and wish that I was around more. my nephew isn't even my kid and i beat myself up for not being around during his toddler to kindergarten years. i suspect when you're in your late 20s you're going to regret not being around for your first son too. c'mon user it is your kid don't leave him. sons look up to their dads like they are gods. if you leave it is going to torture him.

ignore all these other asshole comments they are probably kids.

also user if you are having a kid now for sure you will be ahead of the game maturity wise compared to your peers cause while they are out doing stupid stuff you will be forced to grow up. having a kid actually can help propel you forward not backward because you now have more motivation to get things together.

im sorry these comments are so dissapointing. if you dont find an answer here maybe you would fair better on reddit. they give good advice from what i hear

>Raising a kid at 23
>shit tier girlfriend who will cheat on you

Sounds like you fucked up real bad, should have had that abortion user.

Anyways, you’ve made your bed, now it’s time to lay in it. There’s no undoing a child. He will forever be your son, he will always be by your side and will look up to you for guidance. He needs you to become the hero you need to become. Forget your current girlfriend. She doesn’t make you happy and you’re only staying together because you’re stuck raising a kid. That is no recipe for long term happiness, separate and find someone you can truly be in love with.

Raising a child is twice as hard if you're not into it(aka man-up).
Time for your balls to drop son, for your and your kid's sake.
Don't want to be bullied? Not bullying, just a heads up. It's not going to get any easier. Where are your parents? Hers? They usually have to smack you around to make you see the light, plus they can help take care of the baby when you need a break. It's their responsibility as well. They raised a dumb ass after all.

Most of it directed to OP.

This. It might give you a freepass!

Do your thing. If you have any space through the day to do what you want, do them despite the allegations of your gf. She can suck your dick if she really is that stubborn. If you're always sad or mad, your parenting will reflect it and your kid will be affected.

Join the foreign legion

My son is 7 and I've only seen him 5 times. Mom is a crazy cunt while family court sides with her while she makes false accusations constantly. I said fuck it and don't bother. When he's 18 I'll reach out and show him years of her bullshit. Women aren't worth it these days. If ever. I've paid $20K in child support for a kid the corrupt system is helping be alienated. Leave and cleave, user.

My husband was 24 when we had our first. I was 21. He had the life he wanted to be, and I did too.
We worked really hard for it and not bitched on Jow Forums about diapers.

>We worked really hard for it and not bitched on Jow Forums about diapers.
And became a passive aggressive cunt with a man's balls in a vice.

I was kind of openly aggressive about it, nothing "passive".
It's deplorable to think that it's not your job to take care of your child, and treat him as an excuse to not put effort into your own life.
It's shitty to think that your children, who's here because YOU made a choice, is responsible for how fucked up your life is.

Goku had a kid and he still followed his dreams. Just don't die.

Yeah, unlike him you dont get a power boost from it

lad, your mind plays tricks on you. It is a baby, you can't really tell, but because you think it is your kid your brain draws crazy conclusions. Get a paternity test.
Also, if you are worried about your gf cheating, sit her the fuck down and talk to her about it. Don't curse her out, don't act like a child or wifebeater and start yelling, be square and honest and lay out your concerns on the table and tell her to be completely honest.
Remember, it is completely okay to get a divorce in this instance, especially if she cheated on you. If it does end up being your kid, even if you get a divorce(and a divorce me be the best thing in this instance), you better step the fuck up to the plate and take care of that kid. You aren't a kid anymore, who gives a shit if you look like one. I don't care if you are 17 years old and this happened, you are a man now. Being a man is hard, but you have to do it. Be the man you would be proud to see your son grow up to be. I say this because I was in a similar position. Life hits hard and fast for some of us. You are getting through the hardest part now, everything else will look easy after this. Most everyone will go through a hardship like this, not manifested in the same way, but similar, in a way you are lucky to get this slap in the face so young. Just be glad you didn't get her pregnant with twins like my dad did with a cougar at a bar who happens to be my mother.

also, reading through this, I have some words of advice to offer. Please read what follows, OP.
Maybe your girlfriend isn't cheating on you. Again, as my earlier post said, have a conversation with her about it, make her be honest, be a fucking man. Say a prayer to God to give you a damn sack. If you both work, you'll have to send the kid to daycare. It is time to start busting ass at your job and putting in the hours and getting good performance ratings. If your job is dead end, get a different one. For myself, I dropped my shitty dead end job and started working as a carpenter's "helper", did everything I could to learn the trade as fast as possible and do it well, and made sure to put in overtime and work hard. As for the gym, don't be vain. If shit is as rough as it sounds then you definitely don't have the money or time for that expense. Just eat healthy, go for a jog once and a while if your job is sedentary, and remember that no matter what you always have 10 minutes or so to fire out 200 pushups and some situps, do a few sets of pullups in your apartment's stair case, whatever. Starting your own business? If anything this is more of an incentive to get the fuck on that. You think no parent has ever created a business? Don't start making excuses now. No matter what society tells you, you are a fucking MAN. You have unlimited willpower to kick ass and take names. Life is nothing but constant struggle, struggle is fucking hard, it is not meant to be easy. Embrace it and fucking slaughter it.

Why do fuck if no want child?

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