How do you stop being romantically interested in someone and keep the feelings from developing ever again? All advice appreciated.
How do you stop being romantically interested in someone and keep the feelings from developing ever again...
This is going to sound like shitty advice, but the best thing you can do is just stop talking and hanging out with them, I was in love with a girl for a long time, we worked together but she ended up having a boyfriend, what made it hard was that she told me that if she were single she would date me, she even went as far to say that she wishes she was with me sometimes, I wanted her so badly...
Because we worked together it was hard to avoid her, but I did, I kept thinking to myself the negatives of being in a relationship and literally kept repeating in my head "She has a boyfriend, she doesn't love you" in my head until the feelings went away
Did it hurt? Yes it did, did it help? Big fucking time, eventually my sadness turned to anger, anger towards myself that I wasted so much time loving and chasing after a girl who didn't even want me back, I decided instead of living and lusting after her, I started doing other shit that I wanted to do, instead of hanging out with her after work I instead went to the gym and out to the bars with buddies, instead of texting with her I just ignored the texts or sent the classic "K" when she sent me one
It's not worth the energy, remind yourself that your love and efforts are WASTED on that person, remember: if they wanted to be with you as much as you wanted to be with them, you'd be together right now
Good luck, user.
Just kindly tell him/her face to face that you should stop "developing" your feelings again directly. Not in a rude or negative way.It is like fighting a losing battle. Even if one wins in the opinion/argument, the cost may be more
than the worth of victory. An Ignominious victory is a defeat itself.
All of this
Had very similar situation, did similar thing (she ended up having to go away, so it was easier), had same sadness go into anger.
When she was away we talked very little and about uninteresting stuff, mainly how to do this or that, related to work. When I saw her again over a year after she's left, there was no feeling, nothing
He's my best friend and I've done this to him before. I know that having to pull back our friendship fucking hurts him and I always feel like a cunt for doing it. He doesn't lead me on intentionally, he's only platonic, and made his feelings last time very clear.
I'm already preparing for a withdrawal, it just makes me hate myself. I was hoping that maybe someone would tell me something else so I don't have to be a waste of space again, pretty much.
I know my love and efforts are wasted on him in a romantic sense, I do. I know I have no chance but somehow that doesn't matter. There's a small part of me who would happily do everything for him even as friends which is pathetic. I just want to go back to feeling platonic for him, not stop interacting all together, but it's probably impossible.
Don't go outside. Don't talk to anyone. Don't make your own decisions ever again.
If life is suffering, suffering is necessary to be considered alive.
So it's your bestfriend huh.You should know how to deal with him/her. No to friendship over.
He doesn't (I hope to fuck) know about me developing feelings. This is to hopefully stop this shit before it becomes a problem.
I want to just go into hiding for like sixth months but I know I fuck him over when I disappear. I'm tired of being his hopes up that I might actually be a decent friend this time round and being like lolno, no contact for another 6 months
I know how to deal with him, easy. It's me and my thoughts I have an issue with. I've already decided in going to have to stop drinking round him until this is sorted and that's going to get circumspect very quickly.
What?What kind of issue with? Kindly elaborate.But again,he's your friend you said. You can take a break without him/her but when it comes in friendship over.It's a totally no for me. Because a true friend is hard to find.
Honestly you should stop talking to them for a while if you can’t get over them. Cut them out and give yourself time to think about other things. If the person doesn’t return the same feelings for you, then they probably don’t care enough about you to stop talking to you and spare you the heartbreak
I take issue with my interest in him, I don't want it. Last time I told him my interests when I was drunk so I'll have to be avoiding that now.
I'd take a bullet for this man, before romantic interest and after. I'm really not interested in losing this friendship because my brain doesn't want to keep it in its pants. I don't want this.
I hang out with a bunch of bitter 30 year olds who regularly tell me about what a fucking disaster it is being in a relationship. Even when they seem like they’re happy, they’re not. Ever since I started listening to them, I’ve been pretty damn pleased with being alone, and haven’t caught feelings.
So I guess, find some really fucking bitter 30 year olds who are in miserable relationships.
I can't change the universe for you, kid.
Bearing your anguish is infinitely preferable to not having it.
He's my best friend. He doesn't have many friends and complains a lot irl when it takes me a few days to respond to messages (depression). He'll know I'm avoiding him and, knowing him, either figure out what's going on our think I think he's not worth responding to or such. I know it's probably wishful thinking but I want a way out of this without hurting him again.
Sounds like the best idea so far for what I want tbf, but much more specific. All of my friends are in great relationships, where do i find these bitter people? Aside from bars, of course. I occasionally hang round with my bitter single 30 year old friends but that just makes me pine instead.
Kek. I bare my anguish when it would be useful to do so, not when it is suffering for suffering's sake.
Maybe sooner or later or eventually.He will know/realize what im saying and talking about.
You can still be his friend. But the truth is if you really want to get over him then you need to give space between you and find something else. Maybe for 3 months stop talking to him, just say you’re busy lately. Or if you want to be ultra honest tell him your feelings and if he rejects you say that you understand no means no so you want to move on properly. If he really cared he wouldn’t hold on to you and play with you for his own personal amusement
So the options are either show how shit of a friend I am or show how shit of a friend I am. Fucking grim. I'm definitely not going to be bothering him with reality again so I guess my only option is pull back. No, he wouldn't play with me, I'm just tired of fucking with him
In all honesty, if you had an ounce of human dignity the fact that they have no interest in you or worse lead you on to use as a human coathanger should be all the turn off you need to give up and forget about those feelings.
Well adjusted people find that a reciprocated attraction is the sexiest trait in a partner.
Dunno. I'm my case I got dumped hard when I was 19 and stopped having "feelings" for women since then... I'm currently 27 by the way.
No romantic interest =/= no interest. Platonic kindness and being an interesting person is enough for me to start generating interest, so I probably don't have an ounce of dignity.
Whilst it's what I'm looking for, it's not exactly a situation I can forcibly engineer for myself to deal with this.
Surely there's another option than ghosting someone who's did nothing wrong?
Only bump. I just want him to be happy, I'm tired of fucking him about, but this needs sorting asap.
We gave you advice but you want to counter every suggestion instead of listening. If he doesn’t like you now, he never will. Take it from somebody who had feelings for their friend- he never changed his mind after years. I wish I had ghosted him years ago so I could take time to get over him instead of stringing myself along
If you don’t do that, and you insist on hanging around him, you’re just going to have to deal with it.