Does my fiance have autism? >terrible social skills >can't maintain eye contact >thinks saying/being called by first names is weird >had no friends for 6 years before she met me >whatever hobbies she has she genuinely obsesses over them >seems naturally amazing at a million different things >will pick up random shit she finds outside with 0 regard to how weird it is like rocks, acorns, beads, buttons, etc >likes cataloging it too >has a mineral collection >"had" pica (I think she's lying about not having it anymore because she's embarrassed)
I don't mind either way because she's great but I'm genuinely curious. Should I tell her to see a psych? It's not bad to be undiagnosed if you do have it, right?
Oh yeah, I've also caught her doing weird shit like playing with pieces of tape and rubbing tissues with her hands. I'd also feel a little guilty if she did have some form of autsm because that's like taking advantage of her right? I know it's not downs or anything but I remember seeing that it was deemed as inappropriate somewhere.
Seems likely but who knows. There's no cure for it and if it doesnt bother either of you, who cares?
Everything's been deemed inappropriate. Extortion, gouging and blackmail-- inappropriate, illegal even, still happening. Labels don't make, or unmake things. They just let people feel a little comfort in the notion that the world is as utterly simple as they are.
I think you should consider talking about the psychologist thing though, it might help her come to some level of peace with herself. On that note, if you two are happy together, I don't think anyone can really stop you from being together. Nor should they. It it taking advantage, or is it a lucky break that they've found someone who matches them? Either that or you're just as autistic but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt
>Should I tell her to see a psych? And then what? Do you not think she already knows that's she is not exacly functional? And if she doesn't and you can't do anything about it, do you really want her to know?
even if she is autistic, it doesn't make her retarded or unable to understand an adult relationship. I dunno if you'll get a psych to bite though, autism is mostly a male thing and diagnosed in childhood. not saying there are no undiagnosed adult women but it's very rare
Same nigga. I probably have tism too since my ma was 40 when she had me. Just tell her if she is making really shit social interactions
Dude I check a lot of those boxes myself. It's not autism, we just don't (biologically) expect women to drop the childish behaviour becase their only job (biologically) is giving birth and getting child through infancy. Was her father absent when she was growing up?
have you ever thought you might have the tims but have just learned the "right" responses to situations from watching others
>have you ever thought you might have the tims but have just learned the "right" responses to situations from watching others No, that's called growing up.
>m-me too!! >pica (a huge sign of childhood autism) and an attraction to sensory objects >not autism sure you do, snowflake.
>pica (a huge sign of childhood autism) and an attraction to sensory objects I didn't say which boxes so you must be projecting.
>terrible social skills >can't maintain eye contact >thinks saying/being called by first names is weird >has a mineral collection You can't even achieve final form without these qualities, fool.
I guarantee you only check the shitty social skills and eye contact or something because youre just a shitty human. I'm 90% sure OP's fiance has autism
>youre just a shitty human Elaborate.
>4/9 (11 if you count the ones he listed after) >a lot >they're also the most common symptoms shared with a number of other mental illnesses or just a result of shitty upbringing yes, user. you don't have autism, you're just retarded.
I tell you something, if she was a man she would be a virgin and alone forever, girls call these type of guys virgins, beta, incel or whatever, she's lucky she is a woman and man tolerate almost every female weird behavior.
the point was that you are nothing like OP's fiance, unlike what you claimed before. you even just proved it by admitting you only have the most miniscule traits in common with her. it's pretty likely she's an aspie while you're just a little faggot
If she is happy with who she is and her weird quirks, why make any kind of deal about it? The only way I could possibly suggest her seeing a therapist is if she has problems with it, but if she is content with herself then there is no reason to create a nonexistent problem.
>you're just retarded. >you're just a little faggot
Phew. Dodged the bullet there.
At least she has genuine hobbies unlike 90% of thots. Consider yourself lucky.
not that dude but now I think I really do have the tims vs just introversion. I forgot about having pica as a kid (even now I still bite my nails) and being strangely aroused by certain materials (like nylon and satin). don't know why I'm telling you this, but thanks I guess
I’m a female with autism and yeah, I have all of those symptoms Don’t bother telling her to go to a psych It cost me $2000 all up to get a diagnosis as an adult and all it did was tell me something I already knew Just accept she’s not neurotypical and move on There’s nothing wrong with being autistic you don’t need to go to a therapist and fix it
at least you can tell people without being a self diagnosed fag
Mild psych fag here. Not a doctor but took enough to know the answer to:
>It's not bad if it's undiagnosed right?
Psychiatrists are entirely interested in quality of life alone. Everyone has some downfalls and weaknesses, everyone had quirks, everyone has shitty days.
But if all things considered she's fine, (sounds like shes active engaged and loved. That's a good life) they don't really care much for diagnosing her. If she struggled with anxiety or depression they'd more likely treat her on a symptom by symptom basis, or use a diagnosis of a disorder on the autism spectrum for a framework on which to help her manage and structure her life, but ultimately no, it's not bad to be "undiagnosed" if your life is fine.
It's immoral if she's mentally challenged, which some autistic people are. If she's cognitively capable of making decisions for herself, then it's not immoral.
And no, don't tell her to see a psych. It's not up to you to force her to seek a diagnosis.
Oh and get that PICA checked out if she hasn't. Sometimes it's caused by an iron deficiency. Humans are kind of weird I know.
True, although I don’t really tell people anymore (this conversation excluded) because of all the self diagnosis fags lol Autism is a meme now
My boyfriend is autistic and gets his dick sucked every day. It's just you.
Literally every autistic person I know isn't a virgin. They land within their league, for sure but still, get off Jow Forums.
Looks like something more on the "social anxiety" side and not autism, in your case.
OP's gf is basically textbook autism.
most mental disorders have been reduced to a joke by medium or whatever flavour of the month clickbait site is popular. it sucks but I guess people need that label to be special. I feel you though, I wouldn't tell anyone either because you'll either get that or people who think that means you're actually retarded, can't win.
I have (diagnosed) ADHD. Actual professional advice is: do not ever tell people you have it. It's stigmatized to hell, basically no one has it right thanks to tv, and just as you say, if I say I have it, the assumption becomes I'm making excuses (I have nothing to make excuses for, the moment I say I have it people.make shit up in their heads), or they assume I'm retarded, which at worst leads to exclusion and at best leads them to be patronizing and talk to me like I'm 4.
Sorry, I had a point.. I agree, best not to disclose these things. It's need to know basis and just gives you a framework on which to build and manage your life.
ADHD is definitely the worst offender that comes to mind. like yeah, everybody likes being lazy and not doing things they don't want to do. I cringe because my sister tells me she has it sometimes, if it were true she'd have trouble doing stuff like the dishes in one sitting or baking cookies right? anyway it's ironic to me that everybody pushes for mental health awareness but it's more misunderstood than ever now
did it help you personally though? like, does knowing help you deal with reality better? genuinely asking, I want a formal diagnosis but I'm not sure if it'll change anything besides not being a self diagnosed fag.
Women with a mineral collection makes me rock solid dude. A woman of culture.
If she can survive on her own without government assistance, she's not a retard. Carry on.
It helped a tonne because the thing with ADHD is it isn't actually anything wrong with the brain. It's just wired differently and reacts differently. So you learn things like, yeah if I try to clean I'll start a bunch of jobs and work for 12 hours cleaning the house and get nowhere because I've only made a small amount of progress on 500 different tasks. But if I incorporate a ticking timer, and alot myself 20 minutes to do the dishes, it becomes an urgent priority matter, something my brain actually is very well equipped to deal with, so it cooperates.
Knowing what you have just gives you the tools to effectively play chess with your brain. But when it comes to official diagnosis, as long as you can work within the context of what you think you have and it works for you that's all that matters really..
Get some melanin and fuck white women.
Every single white girl I've been with has talked to me about her mineral collection.
And as for your sister, not necessarily. It varies. Adhd can hyperfocus. They can get very in the zone with what they're doing, especially if they're interested. If she likes baking and had ahds she could do it for days on end, or if dishes seemed somewhat important or stimulating to her. But yeah, for the most part anything they aren't interested in or don't find stimulating, which is most things, it's extremely difficult to stay on task.
>Knowing what you have just gives you the tools to effectively play chess with your brain. hmm interesting way to think about it. thanks for the insight, I think my issue is I don't know how to play chess with my pieces. something to chew on I guess but I'm glad, I was looking for advice like this for awhile now but didn't know where to ask without tipping people off. one last question for you and I'll let you be, how do you determine your "need to know" basis? I feel like I'd want to simultaneously keep it from people so they don't treat you different but also want to tell people that's the reason why you're weird.
I don't know if she has it or not, I guess I shouldn't say either way. what I do know is that she's never seen a doctor for it so I don't know until she does.
Need to no is basically you, doctors, and close family members who need to understand why you are the way you are and how to deal with it and how to "play chess" with you as well. My wife knows for example, so she knows a few tricks to help and when I need a push.
Other than that, if you're in college or university, then any body that can provide accommodations if you need them. Outside of that.. friends, teachers, employers, coworkers, none of them need to know. And none of them will get it. Part of it is understanding that knowing that doesn't change much about who you are to them. It's just irritating and inconvenient.
Dude we are normal people, how is dating one of us taking advantage We aren’t retards