See a girl outside

This is something that has been depressing me for a LONG time. I had many chances, way too many, and i know girls wont talk to me first. I just cant get over the fear to start the conversation, dont know what to say, the fear of look like an idiot. Im not good at all with small talk, so i know the awkward silence will be there too long.

Last year i went to europe for a month and god damn, so many girls traveling alone or in pairs, perfect to talk to them, couldnt do a single one.

This weekend i asked a female friend for help since i just want to do it already, even if they all reject me, i just want to get over the "what would have happened if i talked to her", if they all reject me then fine, ill go back to playing video games.

Ive had gfs before, i have female friends, i get decent tinder matches, i dont think im an incel or one of those mgtow autists, so i still think i have a chance.

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And while we're on that:
>tinder
Artificial and more likely to be rejected.
>school
Title IX laws.
>friends
Never date your friends.
>interests
Men and women interests tend to differ diametrically. This also only works for mainstream interests; not niche hobbies.

Well, maybe make friends with the "brads" in those fields and they could introduce you to women.

Literally LMAO

I do have some friends in those fields, but they're like me - no female friends.

Don't sweat it.
Really, you don't need to have a girlfriend, and if you think you do, having one is the last thing you need.
Work on yourself, get good at something, find your ambition and follow it. Trying to find a girlfriend is much of the time counterproductive to finding one.
Let it be, let it go unpursued and it will begin to persue you. Women don't want a romeo, someone who will endlessly pine over and persue her, they want a hero, someone who moves towards a noble goal that just so happens to sweep them off their feet along the way. If you are trying to get swept off your feet, you are doing it wrong.

I don't need it but I would like it very much.
If I'd do that then what would happen is I would never meet one. I've talked to women my age (excluding cashiers) two times in the last ten years, and both of those times were chance encounters - I don't know the name of either one of them.
Do you see now why this is a problem?

Do you go to any cultural events other than stuff in your field of work? Concerts etc.?

Dance classes

Not really, no.
I mean, I do go to concerts occasionally, but it's not a good place to meet people. You go with friends, sit there, listen to the music, go home.
Not a great way to meet people.
I hate dancing, man

Either stop making excuses or be alone for the rest of your life.
Your choice.

>>school
>all male
is this an all boys school or what?
>>friends
>all male
your friends don’t have female friends?

Honestly - learn how to talk and just say hi to people and make small talk

This can be done with just random people about stupid bullshit

Despite what shit like the #metoo movement, leftists, and feminists are trying to convince people to believe there is nothing wrong with talking to a woman with the intention of getting to know her

When it comes down to it the only difference between cute and creepy is whether or not she's attracted to you

Tips when not to talk to someone:
When they're at work
When they're doing something and not giving you any opening or signals; ie the gym

Be cautious when they are 'trapped'

I mean that as in, on a bus or train or some other place like a waiting room, if they aren't receptive and asking you questions back just stop talking to them.

In practice, yes. In theory, there are some girls but I've only ever seen them walking to and from various classes.

Correct.
It's considered quite rude to talk to strangers here. For instance, the only people who have ever made small talk with me in the elevator have been newly arrived immigrants.
That said, if I want to give it a go, when should I talk to someone? The situations you outlined are pretty much the only ones in which I'd meet women.

>That said, if I want to give it a go, when should I talk to someone? The situations you outlined are pretty much the only ones in which I'd meet women.

When they at least give you some sort of opportunity to talk to them, rather than you having to squeeze in to talk to them

For example - at the gym if she's super into her exercises, wearing headphones, and explicitly doing her own thing

So same girl at the gym - if she's giving you an opportunity to talk and opening herself up it's way different if you catch her looking checking you out, comes to the water fountain at the same when you go, smiles at you, says something unrelated to the gym

Women's intuition is just a woman's natural ability to read body language better than men.If you are genuinely interested in who a woman is she will more than likely see that, if you just want to fuck her she will see that.

One of the best skills you can really learn is how to read body language - this will help you to know when to talk to women and how they are feeling after you start talking to them.

Yeah, but there are no such opportunities. Like, it would feel decidedly forced if I weren't talking about something which I did have a strong reason to talk about, like the train being (severely) late or whatever.
I've had a girl talk to me for something unrelated to once in my whole life, in high school while having lunch. So I don't think it's a great game plan.

Any other tips? You said the gym, but I don't go there and from what I gather there aren't many girls there.

>never date your friends
You have an odd conception of the word 'girlfriend.' I think that's part of your problem.

Well I don't know what your country or culture is - I am an American in California so I can only speak from my experience. Out here there are tons of women at the gym.

Other things you can do are meetups; like meetup dot com or some other website.

Volunteering

Taking some classes - art, dance, anything

Yes, you do have odd conceptions for labels meant for specific relationships. I bet you also consider your male friends 'boyfriend' or 'husband,' and all your female friends 'girlfriend' and 'wife.'

>I've only ever seen them walking to and from various classes.
Surely there must be places in or around your university where these girls hang out between classes, like a cafe or something.

There is a good bit of truth in there though.
Why would you want a girlfriend that is not also a regular friend, friendship is not the only part of the relationship, but certainly it should be a part of it.

I really see no reason why dating a freind would be a bad thing, unless of course you have bad freinds, which is not the case for everyone. The only 'problem' I could see with it is that you are too close to them to just use for sex, which is a good thing in my veiw.

Scandinavia
I looked at meetups, and it was just tech.

Advice for volunteering/classes? I don't know what I'd study or volunteer for.
Yeah, generally the communal dorm kitchens.
Sure, but it's still a sausage fest and it'd be completely apparent why I'd have gone there.

So let me get this straight. You’re saying that women around you only ever hang out in dorm areas. That there are no cafes, bars, laidback restaurants, etc. around your campus where women would hang out.

>Advice for volunteering/classes? I don't know what I'd study or volunteer for.
Things that are light and social - art, music, dancing, exercise classes, etc

I don't know what you can volunteer for out there, but you can't go wrong with volunteering for things that do with animals and nature

I am on my way out, best of luck to you.

>Why would you want a girlfriend that is not also a regular friend
Because they're two different types of relationships/affections that don't often mix.

>friendship is not the only part of the relationship, but certainly it should be a part of it.
What a childish view on the two. Romantic relationships are essentially heavier, more advance stages of rapport than friendship. Which has more baggage, responsibilities, and communion that you not only don't get with friendships -- but are often highly inappropriate for people who are only friends. They also carry more risks because of this. The gap between friendship and relationships are akin to the gap between short division and calculus. Sure, one requires the bare basics of the other, but they're still so far apart that comparisons become moot. There's a reason why you have multiple friends, but typically only one romantic partner.

>I really see no reason why dating a freind would be a bad thing
Because they carry more risk and have more disastrous consequences to them.

>unless of course you have bad freinds, which is not the case for everyone
1). Subtle ad hominem.
2). You wouldn't have them as friends if they were shit.

>The only 'problem' I could see with it is that you are too close to them to just use for sex
Friends with benefits and fuck buddies have always been a thing -_-

I don't know, I haven't seen any in the dorm where I live but there might be in some other dorm I haven't been to. I don't know where they hang out, I'm just guessing based off where I usually see people sitting.

My school is in the ballpark of 95% male, if you have a crowd of 20 people you'd have one woman.

>all this to say "I don't want to be friends with the person I'm dating"
Look, you're the single guy acting the expert on relationships. That's all. If your way works well at all, why are you here?
>fuck buddies have always been a thing
And even those people usually get along on some level, even 'friends with benefits' has the word right there in it.

>Look, you're the single guy acting the expert on relationships.
Ad hominem.

>That's all. If your way works well at all, why are you here?
>why are you on a board about receving and giving advice?

>And even those people usually get along on some level
Yeah, on the necessary level to have them. Otherwise it wouldn't be a thing.

>even 'friends with benefits' has the word right there in it.
Because they're FRIENDS that happen to have certain BENEFITS to them. That's what they mean. They're still not relationships.

Go back to r9k incel

Go out and explore what’s in your town. Stop sitting in your dorm moping about how there’s no women there. I guarantee there’s places nearby off campus where college age people hang out.

You also said you only know women mostly congregate in the dorm kitchens, so take a cooking class so you have an excuse to interact with them
>inb4 you don’t like cooking

Like I said, you're the single guy, complaining about being single, claiming they know better than people in relationships. It's not ad hominem just because you don't like observations being made, ad hominem would be me saying 'your arguments are wrong.'

All I'm trying to say is you're after a goal, but your current methods aren't getting you there despite your swearing-by them. If I'm mistaken in that, then I really wonder why you're here.

Was it just to bait?

Not him, but the few times I did date a friend, it ended being the worst experiences of both our lives. You see things about each other that only come out when you're dating. It fucks things over with your other friends and family. Half the time, it becomes caustic and abusive, even though none of you have a history of either. All the strains you two encumber end up spreading to your other relationships. The fact you were friends before means that you end up taking on more baggage from the start. And when it does fail, you lose so much not just in the emotional department, but also mutual friends, certain family members, sometimes job-related necessities. Occasionally you have to change your entire life like moving town, jobs, or schooling. And once it does fail, you not only never go back to being friends, but it ruins things between you two too much to even be in the same room. Even 15 years later, I've lost so much that I'm never getting back -- and whatever we had before has never been the same.

Seriously: dating your friends is one of the worst things you can do. You lose so much more.

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>you're the single guy, complaining about being single, claiming they know better than people in relationships
Ad hominem and projection based on nothing.

>It's not ad hominem just because you don't like observations being made
That is so wrong and off the mark, I don't know where to begin, nor can I figure out how you came to that conclusion.

>ad hominem would be me saying 'your arguments are wrong.'
You just described the complete opposite of an ad hominem...

>All I'm trying to say is you're after a goal, but your current methods aren't getting you there despite your swearing-by them.
>If I'm mistaken in that, then I really wonder why you're here.
Ad hominem + projection based on nothing.

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>won't answer any of the questions because they debunk them being here
Ah, right, baiting.
Gotcha

>It's not ad hominem just because you don't like observations being made, ad hominem would be me saying 'your arguments are wrong.'
are you retarded?

>your arguments are wrong because you're single
not
>your arguments are wrong because they're not getting you to the desired outcome

>ad hominem would be me saying 'your arguments are wrong.'
Whoever taught you this had no idea what they're talking about.

Still waiting for a proper address to "if you know how to date, why are you here?"

... again, are you retarded?
>your arguments are wrong because they're not getting you to the desired outcome
that's not a nonsequitur that has nothing to do with what you shits are talking about.

You'd be changing the goalposts to a question that wasn't relevant to begin with. :/

Sure, but where? I could walk around outside but it's not like it'd give me any idea where people hang out.

>You also said you only know women mostly congregate in the dorm kitchens, so take a cooking class so you have an excuse to interact with them
No, I said that I guessed that since that's where people usually hang out. My dorm doesn't have any women, so it'd just be odd showing up at any rate.

>your arguments are wrong because they do not produce any results
>IT'S NON-SEQUITUR
Never change Jow Forums, never change

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>refutes dating advice despite being demonstrably bad at dating
>wonders why they're being countered on anything
>YOU'RE JUST GUILTY OF AD HOMINEM

I'm just asking why people who have no experience or success in the field are administering advice in the field and being told I'm guilty of ad hominem

If anything, this is a clear sign that maybe you guys are fully aware of the flaws in your methods and you need to address these head on like adults instead of creating pedantic pull-aparts on Jow Forums to try and hide the fact that you're actually extremely unhappy being single

Exactly, a romantic partner is a friend plus a bunch of other stuff, so why not start with someone you are already freinds with and see if it works?
Also, I think lots of people are friends with people they would consider, in general, to be bad people or freinds.

>Sure, but where? I could walk around outside but it's not like it'd give me any idea where people hang out.
How the fuck would I know what’s in YOUR town? And that’s the point of walking around, you would be seeing what’s out there. Or shit, use google maps.

>No, I said that I guessed that since that's where people usually hang out.
Why don’t you hang out there anyways? Yes I know there’s not going to be many women there but it doesn’t hurt to be social anyways. You may make new male friends who know women.

>people who have no experience or success in the field
And you're certain of this how?

>being told I'm guilty of ad hominem
Probably because:
>you're the single guy, complaining about being single, claiming they know better than people in relationships
>All I'm trying to say is you're after a goal, but your current methods aren't getting you there despite your swearing-by them.
>If I'm mistaken in that, then I really wonder why you're here.
>Look, you're the single guy acting the expert on relationships.
>And even those people usually get along on some level
Are transparent examples of ad hominems.

Even
>this is a clear sign that maybe you guys are fully aware of the flaws in your methods and you need to address these head on like adults instead of creating pedantic pull-aparts on Jow Forums to try and hide the fact that you're actually extremely unhappy being single
is an ad hominem.

Even me referencing you like this can be loosely considered an ad hominem. :/

>Exactly, a romantic partner is a friend plus a bunch of other stuff
No, romantic partners are relationships that are lot more pressing and meaningful than simple friendships. Which is why the two are rarely comparable.

>so why not start with someone you are already freinds with and see if it works?
Because it rarely works, and ruins the friendship. Not only is a highly inappropriate and abusive thing to do to your friend.

>Also, I think lots of people are friends with people they would consider, in general, to be bad people or freinds.
As there's a lot of people who go back to abusive partners. But we'd be skating on victim blaming territory there.

>your arguments are wrong because they do not produce any results
it would help if that argument was actually made (and relevant)

How do you know any of this?

The same way you and everyone else here purportedly knows: personal experience from either you or your loved ones. How can you be so myopic enough to not connect that?

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From his/her own experiences, likely. :/

>your personal experiences are wrong but mine are right
T. this entire thread, top to bottom.

Never change Jow Forums

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>T. human nature, from beginning to end
FTFY.