Why do people on this board keep saying that getting a gf won't make you happy? Is it just to keep depressed guys depressed? I got a girlfriend and I've been improving my life steadily and I haven't felt this good in ages. Explain yourselves, shitheads.
Why do people on this board keep saying that getting a gf won't make you happy...
Jackson Foster
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Jace Wilson
It's more like having a girlfriend isn't some magical bandaid fix-it-all for your social anxiety, your depression, your lack of a job or finances or ability to support yourself, or other things that are wrong with your life.
If you have a problem unrelated to relationships or sex, those are still going to be there with a girlfriend.
A girlfriend is a nice thing, and part of a healthy support network, but she's also going to be her own person with her own problems, and you can't expect her to take the weight of all your problems or act as a savior.
Ayden Morgan
>Why do people on this board keep saying that getting a gf won't make you happy?
The same reason people with easy access to wealth say that having money won't make you happy.
Xavier Smith
>you can't expect her to take the weight of all your problems or act as a savior.
Since we started dating I've started to feel much more motivated to improve just so I stay attractive to her. I've also been good at keeping my issues hidden from her because I'm not some pathetic pity party throwing baby. I never said a gf has to be a savior, just that she can improve your outlook on life.
Parker Ward
It's such a fucking meme
Like I get that a gf won't magically fix all my problems, but it'll fix my ">tfw no gf" problem.
Carson Hughes
>just that she can improve your outlook on life.
This is absolutely true. A supportive partner is very helpful and motivating. But a lot of people expect their significant other to magically cure their mental illness or fix their life, and then get aggressive or resentful that they aren't.
The fact that you don't is good, OP. Seek support from each other, lean on her when you have to. As long as the give and take is equal, it's good.
Gavin Nguyen
>But a lot of people expect their significant other to magically cure their mental illness or fix their life
Does this ever actually happen? I see it touted a lot, but have never seen any instances of it IRL. If anything, the opposite happens.
Angel Lewis
It's relatively uncommon, but I've seen it happen. In romantic relationships and friendships alike. Sometimes people who are hurting don't realize how much they're putting on others.
There are also a lot of people who don't know how to seek help at all, either, and bottle everything up. It's a hard balance to hit, and most people swing to one side or the other in some way. Some are more extreme than others.
Luis Allen
>your social anxiety, your depression, your lack of a job or finances or ability to support yourself, or other things that are wrong with your life.
>If you have a problem unrelated to relationships or sex,
Except that being in a proper relationship is a lot more than just sex and going to the movies. Everytime that I'm in a proper relationship, all of my other issues in life improve.
Being in a relationship with someone is opening up to them, they give you a fresh outsider's perspective on your life and your problems. Also if you didn't meet them on Jow Forums, they likely have more of a head on their shoulders than you and can also be a positive influence and good example.
The only exceptions are if you're some sort of toxic relationship where negative behaviour is not only enabled but it's often mutual. For instance you're a couple of NEETs that did meet on Jow Forums, or you're both meth addicts or maybe it's a one-way street with enabling like those couples on those reality TV shows where one person weighs 500 lbs and their partner is more or less normal weight and always bringing them pizzas and ice cream and shit 24/7.
Leo Hernandez
We get tons of threads of people who have been in relationships for years and have been miserable the entire time.
Explain yourself, shithead.
It's almost like this varies from person to person and what we encourage is self-propagated resources so that you're not stuck relying on other people to produce meaning for you so that being dumped doesn't mean you're chronically depressed.
Almost as if we're just trying to suggest that you should attain upward momentum without the requirement of other people.
See, this is so advanced and far away from what we give advice to-- from the type of person we give advice to-- it's basically normie-tier. In fact, people might call you out for being a normie, just because you've probably always had a relative level of that kind of momentum.
A lot of people don't. They genuinely think that a girlfriend is going to fix so many more things and so much more raw mood than it does, and then they're all shocked when it turns out that no, there's absolutely no correlation and if your problems are numerous and overwhelming before a girlfriend, they probably will be after.
You're not wrong, but then the problem is that many, many guys make this problem bigger in their heads than it actually is, and the whole resolved-no-gf thing just reminds you that you're now an otherwise-still miserable or sad or depressed or suicidal person, just that now you've added the extra packet of guilt that is dragging another person you (should) care about into the whole mess.
If your problems are manageable but you genuinely just want a shoulder to stand by in life then maybe you're like OP. But I can speak for multiple posters when I say we get threads that are the foil of this, the "what happen, I got GF and still do a sad" and all we can really do is tell them to get therapy and get help and get on it, because they should have been doing all of that before a partner.
Levi Green
The analogy doesn't work, because the people always saying that having a gf won't make you happy or even that sex is overhyped or even not that good at all are incels that are just saying that to convince themselves that they're not missing out on anything.
Dylan Long
>See, this
>is so advanced and far away from what we give advice to-- from the type of person we give advice to-- it's basically normie-tier. In fact, people might call you out for being a normie, just because you've probably always had a relative level of that kind of momentum.
I hate how r9k invaded literally aspect of every single board
Camden Parker
>the whole resolved-no-gf thing just reminds you that you're now an otherwise-still miserable or sad or depressed or suicidal person
Yeah, but I still think if you're reasonably well adjusted, the validation that somebody wants you is a big deal.
Jason Cruz
>are just saying that to convince themselves that they're not missing out on anything
That's a whole lot of projection there, Mr. Dubs.
Xavier Lewis
a gf is a distraction from your problems
Julian Miller
How is that supposed to be projection? I've been in plenty of relationships and 9 times out of 10 they only improved my life by having someone there that can be a positive influence in my life and be an immediate voice of reason as well as someone I can trust because I know they have my best interest in life and isn't biased from being a family member who is still thinking about shit that happened 15 years ago or whatever and stills sees me as that, etc.
William Gonzalez
Because it won't. You did a lot more than just get a girlfriend dude.
Grayson Morgan
Wow way to insult channers.
Ian Russell
How did you get a gf?
a-asking for a friend...
Leo Clark
>How is that supposed to be projection?
Presumptions based on scantility.
> I've been in plenty of relationships and 9 times out of 10 they only improved my life by having someone there that can be a positive influence in my life and be an immediate voice of reason as well as someone I can trust because I know they have my best interest in life and isn't biased from being a family member who is still thinking about shit that happened 15 years ago or whatever and stills sees me as that, etc.
a). Along with , you have the single worst syntax I've read in a long time.
b). At this point, this is succumbing to tangentialism that's decreasingly related.
c). And if that wasn't bad enough, this argument is so steeped in confirmation bias, I don't even know where to start.
Christian Morris
Very long story short, best friend invited me to his gf's birthday party, she had a cute single best friend and she and my best friend set us up.
Ian Williams
>scantility
>tangientialism
You want to complain about my syntac but you format your post like a multiple choice exam and end using pseudo-scientific jargon that aren't even actual words.
Joshua Rogers
I don't ever assume Jow Forums posters are well-adjusted. I in fact assume a lack of adjustment is what brought them to ask-- of literally all choices on the internet besides-- Jow Forums, which is mostly teenagers and projecting has-beens, for any advice at all.
In that respect, I try to encourage that people find their own standing feet. It's important to be able to keep afloat on your own; it's one thing to want a girlfriend to share life's experiences with, it's another thing to be driven to apoplexy because a girl turned you down. The shit I see out of those r/niceguy posts? That shit is not okay. If you're at that point, you need a lot of help and a girlfriend is not the kind of help you need.
Reminder that Jow Forums is containment for >tfw no gf threads, that they became so proliferated everywhere else, a board was made to contain them.
The truth is, we were always more Jow Forums than Jow Forums in the first place, by that judgement. Even Jow Forums will get at same-ass posts, Jow Forums can just have an entire front page of >tfw no gf.
I'm a taken guy and I insist guys sort their own shit out before taking it into a relationship. You don't need to be magi-cured, but you need to be a hell of a lot more bluepilled than to start arguments on Jow Forums over projection and sweeping presumptions
>been in
Not any longer I take
Daniel Robinson
>I'm a taken guy and I insist guys sort their own shit out before taking it into a relationship. You don't need to be magi-cured, but you need to be a hell of a lot more bluepilled than to start arguments on Jow Forums over projection and sweeping presumptions
Can you translate that into English for those of us who don't speak fluent r9k meme talk?
Landon Watson
Not him but,
>I'm a taken guy and I insist guys sort their own problems out before taking them into a relationship. You don't need to be perfect, but you need to be a hell of a lot more normal and well adjusted than the kind of person who starts arguments on Jow Forums over "projection" and "sweeping presumptions" is.
Hope this helps.
Jayden Reyes
>I got a girlfriend and I've been improving my life steadily
So is your girlfriend the direct cause of you being happy or is it just a byproduct?
Juan Powell
>You want to complain about my syntac
Because it's absolutely horrid (though better this time 'round).
>but you format your post like a multiple choice exam
What a myopic interpretation.
>end using pseudo-scientific jargon
Another projection.
>that aren't even actual words
dictionary.com
dictionary.com
Henry Evans
thanks, it makes a bit more sense. I just know that red pill is like being mad at feminists and wearing a maga hat and shit, so I thought that blue pill was being trans and a socialist or something.
Christian Gonzalez
>dictionary.com
not scantility
>dictionary.com
not tangentialism
so did you come here to have anything to about being in a relationship or are you just to try and sound like a fake British professor and also say "projection" at every post
Josiah Bailey
>not scantility
>not tangentialism
>doesn't know how suffixes work
>so did you come here to have anything to about being in a relationship or are you just to try and sound like a fake British professor and also say "projection" at every post
Tu quoque.
Austin Moore
>>dictionary.com
>not scantility
>>dictionary.com
>not tangentialism
splitting at hairs :/
Brayden Jackson
Nice brag thread asshole, I have a gf too
Camden Perry
>>doesn't know how suffixes work
I know how suffixes work, but those literally weren't words that you said. It'd be like me saying "homosexualism", that is also not actually a real word.
>Tu quoque, or the appeal to hypocrisy, is a fallacy that intends to discredit the opponent's argument by asserting the opponent's failure to act consistently in accordance with its conclusion.
>the opponent's argument
You don't even have an argument. if you did, you buried it in your pile of pseudo-intellectualism.
Ryder Ward
splittingtility at hairism
Cameron Clark
>know how suffixes work
>but those literally weren't words that you said.
Contradictory statements.
>It'd be like me saying "homosexualism", that is also not actually a real word.
It is a word depending on usage and context.
>You don't even have an argument
Tu quoque.
Luis James
>It is a word depending on usage and context.
Not a real word of the English language, no.
Benjamin Harris
It would be a real word depending on context and usage; like it is for all words...
John Reed
et tu quoque cogito ergo sum argumentum ad hominem
Zachary Morales
>It would
It literally isn't.
Benjamin Wood
It is; and any assertion otherwise is a complete misunderstanding of not only the English language, but languages in general.
Jack Long
I like where this argument is going. Are there any other words whose existence we can mindlessly squabble about?
Owen Jackson
...
Cooper Turner
whoa careful with that attitude buddy, he might say something in latin at you, and then you're fucked.
Grayson Mitchell
/his/ here, actually they would still count -- even in the English language -- because words are created and defined by how they're used and the context surrounding them. Especially if we're talking pre/suffixes, which the only general rule for them is taking a noun/adjective and attaching any fixes that are appropriate (even if it sounds awful). Hell, if anything, words with fixes on the ends of them actually aren't real words, just compounds attached to each other like it's fucking German.
Good luck to y'all.
Isaac Hernandez
...
Parker Ramirez
Okay, since you seem to have a good grasp on what's going on, let's get to the point.
If I have a job, have a home, have friends, can order fast food without a twinge of anxiety, have a good relationship with my surviving family, plan for the future, can keep an old car running and in general have proven myself to be capable of handling my own damn shit, should I get a gf Y/N
Michael Sanders
Getting a girlfriend will make you happy, it just won't cure depression.
Being depressed will harm your relationship.
Therefore, the advice is supposed to encourage to to fix yourself first, and autonomous of a relationship before entering one. It's a nuanced statement, you can't take it literally (literally, you're right. It's just not literal)
Easton Green
Cause sometimes it's true but sometimes it isnt
Levi Peterson
>actually they would still count
According to you, a descriptivist frogposter. According to me, a prescriptivist chad, they wouldn't. Scantily is a real word, though.
Being in a relationship, or just having friends might be enough to get some people through their day. For others, they might suffer just as much with them as without. People aren't all the same.
Colton Wilson
I'm one of the retards that was arguing, and I never said that scantily is a fake word. of course not, people say and write it all the time.
the word was "scantility" which is something that didn't exist until that other asshole made it up
David Brooks
No it hasn’t.
You’re an emotionally dependent little bitch and she will leave you soon.
Blake Long
>According to me, a prescriptivist chad, they wouldn't.
Well I'm sorry, Chad. But you're just plain wrong on this one. Since that's just not how words and languages work. Hell, it's even said that half the words we use today arose from similar (mis)usages.
>Scantily is a real word, though.
Scantility would still be a real word, depending on how it's used. Since -ility is typically for indicating state of conditions or certain relationships.
Hunter Carter
>Scantility would still be a real word, depending on how it's used. Since -ility is typically for indicating state of conditions or certain relationships.
>would
>could
>should
it is not.
Landon Hernandez
Again, I'm sorry, but that's just wrong and misunderstanding basic English,
Cameron Kelly
Nah, it's a reference to the matrix. The bluepill means the socially accepted range of normal opinions, and the redpill means the uncomfortable "truth" that has been hidden from you. It's basically the political version of normie vs robot.
Mason Foster
>Nah, it's a reference to the matrix
I mean it was 20 years ago, but since the last 5 years or something it's taken on its own contexts.
Gabriel Barnes
Do not accuse me of wrongalities and misundersandifications of the truthalities of Englishisms. I can also sound like 2004 George Bush like anyone else in this thread.
Zachary Smith
Because the girls are the ones meant to be saved, not the men.
Just another great societal double standard you'll have to learn to live with.
Ethan Hernandez
It's not necessarily a misunderstanding, per se. But it's suspiciously ethnocentric.
Kevin Thomas
Then don't get things wrong. Otherwise you wouldn't be called out for it.
Kayden Gutierrez
they want less competition
Jordan Miller
>Scantility would still be a real word, depending on how it's used. Since -ility is typically for indicating state of conditions or certain relationships.
Uh, no, that suffix indicates something is capable of something, and those phonemes sound like pure garbage off of the tongue when put together. That word you're so proudly bandying around will never catch on, because people are generally familiar with "nudity" which is all round better for whatever you'd want to use your Scrabble vomit word for, and people who know how to use "scant" aren't in scant supply, either. After today, I guarantee that nobody in this thread will see your made up word again.
And you're absolutely right, I'm not a chad for wasting my time studying linguistics - all it's good for is teaching you ESLs, and that's not something to be proud of. I wish I had a girlfriend, just so I could tell her how much of a retardility you are.
Lincoln Jackson
>It's more like having a girlfriend isn't some magical bandaid fix-it-all for your social anxiety, your depression, your lack of a job or finances or ability to support yourself, or other things that are wrong with your life.
Yeah but access to titties is nice.
Ayden Thomas
argumentum ad hominem
Levi Mitchell
coping and strawman arguments. the coping comes from people who have no partners and try to brainwash themselves into believing they don't need anybody. the strawman arguments come from holier-than-thou people who believe that the Jow Forums demographic mainly consists of the mythical incel with all his usual vices.
in reality, yes, having a partner can change everything. it is literally and unironically the prequel to the purpose of life. as the one user pointed out, wanting to improve yourself for your partner can activate much more energy than any other make-believe ideology.
Blake Mitchell
>Uh, no, that suffix indicates something is capable of something, and those phonemes sound like pure garbage off of the tongue when put together.
Uh, no. That's, again, completely wrong. -ility is from -ile and -ily, which are French/Latin origins, meaning conditions or relationships. Not only that, 'capable of something' is an example for those suffixes, not the definition; as well as 'capable of something' *is* a state of condition. In addition, whether or not it sounds like dogshit means absolutely nothing, as near all words sound awful in certain conditions, but their grammar remains the same. Plus, this entire retort reads like it was written by someone who just recently Googled his information.
>That word you're so proudly bandying around will never catch on, because people are generally familiar with "nudity" which is all round better for whatever you'd want to use your Scrabble vomit word for, and people who know how to use "scant" aren't in scant supply, either. After today, I guarantee that nobody in this thread will see your made up word again.
Irrelevant, and arguing popularity, since the usage and context is what counts, not its prominence.
>all it's good for is teaching you ESLs
Yeah, I was figuring that all the huffing-and-puffing over if word usages was rooted in some kind of racism. :|
Josiah Gutierrez
Nice, that was much better. Well, the second sentence was an ad hom (and just barely). But otherwise, roughly accurate.
Elijah Hill
I fell for this meme and didn't expect having a girlfriend to make me feel all that different since I still have to find a job but it's a fucking LIE
I actually feel like I CAN get a job now. I don't think I have been this happy since I began puberty. This feeling is what all the drugs I used in college were trying to replicate.
Jeremiah Perez
love to argue about the etymology of made-up words in a thread about someone asking about gf problems. I'm just a cool guy like that. I also know about latin words, everyone loves it when I bring up latin words in an English conversation.
Noah Scott
probably americans where knowing other languages is the mark of a genius lol
Adam Young
>I also know about latin words
not really a brag since latin is one of the most misunderstood languages
Carson Jackson
>everyone loves it when I bring up latin words in an English conversation
I speak German and Russian, but also know a little Icelandic and Polish. Get on my level.
Aiden Morris
>I speak German
You very clearly have the attitude of one.
Brayden Jones
mach mal feierabend, malte-sören
Charles Gomez
Most colleges require some kind of science course to get a degree. Which requires some knowledge of Latin and Greek.
Sebastian Barnes
>Dean of Admissions: Well Mister user you do realize that this is a very competitive field and this year especially we have potential students from all over th-
>Me, a Genius: Ad Hominem
>Dean of Admissions: GET THIS MAN A SCHOLARSHIP RIGHT AWAY
Daniel Brooks
I have a gf I'm still not happy my life has become a little better with the knowledge someone who isn't tied by blood possibly likes me feels alright .
It hasn't made a massive improvement on life I feel more shit sometimes because I worry about the longevity of relationships and how much sex i could squeeze out of this shitty membership of presents , movie dates and KFC meals which is my relationship before it ends and I feel like shit
I tend not to think about it , depends if the person actually likes you because they're going to try and make your life better
Levi Fisher
It's either galaxy level cope by some mad virgin or a normie trying to make you feel better by trying to diminish themselves in your eyes.