Ask the Opposite Sex Anything

Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

>1. Do girls/guys like ?
>2. What do girls/guys think about
There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>3. I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.

>4. I like someone. What do I do?
>5. How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>6. Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>7. Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.

>8. XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.

>9. This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>10. Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?

>11. Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, .

>12. Guys insecure with their 4+ inches dick
Fuck off

>13. Why is there no new thread?
Create one yourself. You can use these macros:

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Why are tripfags so cancerous?

If you have a problem with it, go tot he meta board and complain about it.

Since the rules permit it, then you need to accept it. I'm not going to stop doing something that I have the full right to do.

Like, your complaints may or may not be valid, but you're burning your energy fuming here and detracting from the quality of this board. Try instead.

>You can't be depressed because of loneliness

Why is that girl in the other thread so retarded

Because I know the diagnostic criteria for depression.
You feel sad, which is fine, you don't have depression.

Gatekeeping being depressed literally. I can be depressed because of being lonely and being lonely is probably the biggest cause of depression there is.
But no, keep spewing your bullshit spoiled brat.

Loneliness ( in the broadest meaning of the word) is the leading cause of addiction and probably of depression as well. Don't listen to that tard
It's a pervading spirtual sickness

For "shy" men specifically.
I have a class tomorrow that I share with a guy I'm interested in, and the last time I tried talking to him he seemed really uncomfortable but also gives me mixed as fuck signals. I won't ask anyone to interpret, but it really could go either way. Mentioned shy men because from what I know he's very reclusive and socially anxious.
Should I continue coming on strong in such a situation or give him space? Is straightforward best even with nervous men? Are there any men who actually do communicate through "signals?"
I've asked women for their opinions but I wanted to ask men too.

I explained this 4 times.
If your mental illness would disappear the second someone gave you a hug, you don't have one.
I have no problems with someone saying he's lonely and depressed, and being with someone fixes the loneliness, but it doesn't fix the depression if you actually have a medical condition.
And it makes sense to "gatekeep" depression because it's a medical diagnosis, not a fan club. Same way a good psychiatrist won't diagnose you with depression because you lost a job, or had a rough break up, because that's sadness and not a fucking mental condition.

>Gatekeeping being depressed literally.
It's a medical term, they have very specific definitions. It's like complaining about gatekeeping diabetes. You either have it or you don't, it's not something you can self identify.

It's manipulative depression.

Or using depression as a weapon to get what he wants :)

anyway you're right user don't let that depressed loser get you worked up

>would disappear the second someone gave you a hug

Yeah no. That's a hilariously superficial notion of loneliness

Be direct but don't pressure him. If he's *really* shy he might get spooked from being put on the spot, so consider making your move over text or something, if you think he's that bad.

>If your mental illness would disappear the second someone gave you a hug, you don't have one
Neither one of us said that and there were at least 3 of us including OP.

She keeps shitting about how she has her problems but also a boyfriend and that if we just want a girlfriend and are depressed so we want someone to comfort us we aren't really depressed.

>Peanut sucking up to every female trying to get the moral high ground
No wonder people started disliking you as I stated in the previous thread.

Nigga if you have depression because of something, you don't have depression. Loneliness sucks and can make your life a living hell, but depression is a very specific thing.

>would disappear the second someone gave you a hug, you don't have one

He said that he wanted someone to support him and that it would be easier that way and that he would get over his self doubt and insecurities that way.

You take it as "girl hug you you not depressed k"

You're really dumb along with being spoiled as shit.

If he's socially anxious he probably doesn't have much experience talking to women in which case you can literally just act friendly to him and that's all it will take

Guys who don't like cats, help me convince my fiance that we should get one. Give me all the reasons you hate cats so I can get my debate ready.

If your depression would disappear if you had a partner, you don't have it.
And it's fine, it's not a club you want to be part of. You should be glad you don't.

>if we just want a girlfriend and are depressed so we want someone to comfort us we aren't really depressed
I never said any of that.
I said that if the second you get a girlfriend your depression gets fixed, you don't have it. You're sad, you're lonely, but you're not depressed, because that's not what depression is.
You can want a girlfriend to comfort you, and it is honestly a terrible idea: if your girlfriend becomes your therapist you screw the relationship up. But it's not your escape rope from a mental condition, and you shouldn't trick yourself into thinking it is.

so i have this girl friend whom i have some feelings for but she already told me she doesnt feel the same way some time ago and we stopped messaging each other a bit
anyway we hung out in a group of friends some days ago and on the next day i asked her about something college related but she completely ignored me (she might have been working or something)
i mean i kinda want to know this information so do you guys think i should like ask again, do you think she doenst like me like not even as a friend

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>He said that he wanted someone to support him and that it would be easier that way and that he would get over his self doubt and insecurities that way.
No, OP said that if he had a girlfriend all his problems with depression and self hatred would disappear. Verbatim.
I took issue with that.
I also insist that it's not fair to ask a girlfriend to be your therapist, and it will ruin any relationship you manage to get into.

> what is situational/reactive depression

This is a terrible idea, but my mom Didcot twice and it worked out.
Just get a kitten while he's out and don't return it.

Tell 'em user only you have the right to be depressed

it's called narcissism and no self esteem
I always report for off topic or trolling and ignore them. they'll die one day.

People end up drifting apart, so don't take it too hard. If she doesn't want to put in the effort to talk with you then all you can do without imposing is being receptive if she ever wants to start up the friendship again. My two cents at least.

Noooo you can't say that you'll break her illusion of being the only depressed snowflake in the world. Stop it user

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That's evil and I like it. But I'd rather get him onboard so we can both enjoy having one.

I never said I'm the only one who has the right to feel depressed. I said it's a fucking clinical diagnosis and you shouldn't self diagnose with it.
If you have serious mental issues, a girlfriend won't fix it.
If a girlfriend would fix it, you don't have serious mental issues.
Simple as that, really.

Being lonely and not having a partner isn't a one off situation like losing your pen. It's a state.

To the pretentious dumb female here, define depression and what are acceptable reasons for having it.

If he's shy he probably won't be sure if you're really giving him signals or not, you should be more assertive with him definitely.

If you're depressed because you're poor, money wouldn't fix you
If you're depressed because you have nothing to live for, finding a reason to live wouldn't fix you
If you're depressed because can't connect with anyone and feel like a social outcast, connecting with someone wouldn't fix you

Do you understand how dumb you are?

To all the girls itt
How big is your feminine penis

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being depressed is like being tired because you didn't sleep

depression is like having fatigue no matter if you sleep because of an underlying cause out of your control

it's really not that complicated to understand

He'll be less anxious if you show that you genuinely like being around him. A lot of shy guys think that when people show affection in some way they're actually faking it because they're going to be mean to you later. OR it could be just shyness in which case just being around helps a lot.

The cure for depression right here:

all penises were once clits tho

No it's not as simple as that at all. Having a fulfilling relationship is a natural prerequisite for happiness for most people. Never having one causes horrific spirtual havoc on the soul/mind, so can lead to situational/reactive depression.

It's not only >hurr brain chemicals bruh

So all men are trannies?

For real though, there was this girl I was fwb with and her clit was literally bigger than my thumb. I don't understand how she was able to wear a bikini.

Never having a girlfriend and feeling emotionally staved is probably the lead cause of depression.

The roastie just doesn't understand how it is.

its about something she talked to me the day before
i mean we spent the whole day together and on the next day she ignores my question about something related to the class that we talked about the day before
sighs why is it so hard for me to get close to people

You're trivialising depression to an extreme extent.
Depression is a pervasive mental illness that causes you severe sadness, emptiness, lack of desire to do anything, a ton of other negative emotions about yourself, and physical symptoms, to the point you are completely unable to function normally.
You can't perform well at your job, keep your house clean, shower, feel good about anything you accomplish. You can't sleep, you don't eat, you don't want to talk to people. You're a shell of a person, empty inside.
You don't really get depression for something. You might have situational depression (for example, someone dies and you feel depressed for a short period afterwards) but you don't get depressed because of something specific and it stops to that. Clinical depression is something that takes your whole life, it doesn't stop at one aspect.
You might start feeling depressed because you're broke, but if you actually are clinically depressed money won't fix it because depression is a disease that takes over your whole sense of self, your mind, your perception of who you are, your capacity of being happy. If you're actually depressed, when you get the money you'll feel like you don't deserve it and feel horrible about it too. Because that's what depression does to you.
I don't know how to put it more eloquently than this, I'm sorry if you still don't get it.

Fuck these hoes bro you don't need them
Be the he cute pepe. Do you think he cares about how jannies feel about him? No, he's too based and redpilled for it, he cute.

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Situational depression is caused by a specific event. For example, your mom dies, between a few months you get depressed, that's situational depression.
Never having a girlfriend doesn't fit the criteria for it, since not having a girlfriend is a situation that protracts itself in time.
You might develop actual depression because of the loneliness, but getting a girlfriend won't fix it if you're actually clinically depressed, because depression is a disease that takes over your whole sense of self, your mind, your perception of who you are, your capacity of being happy. If you're actually depressed, when you get a girlfriend you'll feel like you don't deserve her, like she'll cheat on you, you'll feel bad about being such a horrible boyfriend and screw up the relationship. Because that's what depression does to you.

Girls, how big are your boobies?

>t. not a therapist that's for sure

>tfw I'm trying to get a therapist in order to see if I have Depression instead of asking Jow Forums

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I regret giving advice to that guy last thread because he took it the worst way. There are a few ways of reacting to advice. You can blame everyone around you. You can blame yourself even more and sink further and further away from your goals.

Or the hardest option is to look at yourself fairly. You're not a super special boy singled out by nature to never be with someone.

I was and I still think my and the user I quoted in my post had the best advice. Not the easiest.

I'm with you in basically every way here except I do think it's possible to fall into moods which some would call depression because of these issues. I look at the DSM V criteria and I don't meet the requirements for MDD, but that doesn't mean I'm not a very low mood, low self esteem person. You're arguing from a point of clinical depression and just because you don't have clinical depression doesn't mean you don't have issues with low mood and, well, non clinical depression. These things are better served by talking to a therapist instead of strictly defining them on Jow Forums. I'm not a good writer so I want to make sure to say that I do 100% agree with you in the strict clinical sense.

um no. You should give him clear air and a totally judgment-free zone when you talk with him. Don't react negatively to anything he says for a while and reply to any test messages right away (until he feels more comfortable), even if it's just a smiley face or something.

Shyness is fear. It can be solved with security. Going in strong to someone who feels fear will not work.

Who the person is, is far less important than what they say. If a woman tells the truth, then I will react in kind.

It's immature to value "who" says something. That's relativist thinking and it's fallacious.

Like I said, if you really think it's bad for this board, then go to the right place and make your feelings heard. Abusing the report system and derailing threads is destructive behavior and you can't act self-righteous about doing bad things.

>People end up drifting apart,
People don't just "drift apart". There is always reasons underneath it. Dismissing the reasons helps no one.

>Never having a girlfriend
Depression is more common in women.
>feeling emotionally staved
what does that even mean? If you want emotions, then go experience something. I'll help you!

Fear: ride roller coaster, sky dive, enter a debate with litHit
Amusement: browse /b/, go to a circus, troll litHit
Sadness: Don't work for the things you desire
Anger: Read a newspaper, watch a sports game, get into a bar fight
Happy: Go running a long time, talk to your friends/family
Disgust: browse Jow Forums for any length of time, kiss ugly girls, make food without recipes.

There you go! All your problems solved, no need to thank me it's just what I'm here for

>Going in strong to someone who feels fear will not work.

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Big C cups. But I'm slav so among our kin that's like an A cup among westerners.

I'm the OP.
I love how everyone is at the same time talking about my post but not answering it. I got 2 answers and then it turned into a fight.

This isn't what I signed up for

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Thanks, I'll continue to be forward but more friendly/easy going. I'm trying to graduate from social anxiety myself so maybe we can help each other in that regard, even if we just end up friends.
Anyway is the consensus that a man most likely would not try to communicate very subtly that he doesn't want to talk, instead being more upfront about it? I guess what I'm worried most about is that he's trying to tell me to go away without actually saying so (because it would be rude or some bs).

This is the one thing that I actually agree with him on. If not fear then at least anxiety which paralyzes you.

Depression isn't something you have to ask a therapist to know if you have.

how many of you report trips for always being off topic and trolling?

I agree with that, you can definitely have a bad mood or shit self esteem because of those issues, I'm not questioning any of that.
I just think that it's important to understand your condition to better fix it.

It's in the nature of Jow Forums.

And the fact that the girl that responded to you is a pretentious, spoiled idiot

I mean if he hates you you'll probably know, I wouldn't worry about that. If he's really shy then other than what I said about being paranoid people are tricking you he'll be glad you talk with him.

It definitely is, self diagnosing is cancer. Please don't encourage people to self diagnose.

That's great for you user, I hope you can get the help you need.

The term for depression isn't as precise as you think it is.
What are you going to do, tell someone they are not depressed? What do you gain from that?

I agree, self diagnosing is very iffy. I was even hesitant in bringing it up at my sessions because I didn't want to seem like I was self diagnosing.

I think she wants people to be treated the most effective way. If you're clinically depressed then there are ways to treat that. You don't want to get treatment for something you don't have.

True, but trying to be subtle won't work either. You have to be direct without intimidating him.

I fucked a 16 y/o a few days back ( nothing illegal, AoC is 16 here). We got drunk and fooled around. She said she wanted to 'feel me'. But was still pretty shy so I took the initiative. When it came down to it she suddenly averted her eyes and struggled a litte but did not really fight back or verbally refused to consent. I blow my load inside her and she starts crying about how she was a virgin and felt dirty and some other bs. I left. A few days later she texts me to say sorry and wants to meet up again. But I now I'm doubting if I fucked up
Did I, femanons?

Do u like them?

No, she wants to stop people from saying they are depressed even if not diagnosed because she wants to feel special.

>The term for depression isn't as precise as you think it is.
It's not as imprecise as you think it is. There's medical criteria that you should fit for the diagnosis.

>What are you going to do, tell someone they are not depressed?
Sure, if they're not depressed.

>What do you gain from that?
They can get better help if they know what they actually have.
Treating someone for depression when they don't have it (for example, giving antidepressants to people who aren't clinically depressed) can cause long term problems or be ineffective. If you understand your diagnosis, you can treat your symptoms.

Why do you feel better when you tell people they aren't depressed because you're?

ah ok I see where the disconnect is. You can't be subtle but you can't go too hard either.

Yes, you both fucked up. She fucked up by not opening her whore mouth to stop you from doing something she didn't want to do. You fucked up by going with the flow and not checking with her to make sure it's okay. Either way it's done and over. Just hangout with her and see where it goes, it doesn't hurt to talk about your feel feels. If you do apologize just say you're sorry that you got caught up in the mood because of how beautiful and radiant she looked and that you'll cherish and respect her for as long as she'll have you.

To the "depressed" incel
Stop shitting up the thread already.
Everyone can tell you are samefagging like crazy.

Girls, how do you know you actually want a companion? Wouldn't you rather be alone?

I don't feel better. Despite what you think, I don't think I'm special because I'm sick.
I'm just pointing out that it makes no sense to claim you're depressed if you aren't: it's not a cool club, it's a mental illness. And if you have it, focus on getting a therapist and not a girlfriend, because girlfriends aren't antidepressants.

It's a really smart thing to do. Talk about your symptoms and not about your expected diagnosis.
Is therapy going well?

I never wanted "a companion", I don't mind being alone too much.
When I met my boyfriend, I wanted to spend my life with him because he's genuinely the best person I've ever met.

Whatever you do DON'T APOLOGIZE.
Apologies can be used as an admission of guilt in a court of law.
Just because fucking 16 year olds is technically legal where you live doesn't mean they can't nail you for something.
Talk to her, be amicable and supportive. Don't apologize, never insinuate that you forced yourself on her in any way. Never apologize.

I'm the one that asked the original question.
Don't know if he's samefagging with the rest but he's definitely not me.

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Only been 4 times now so we're still early.

As of now I have some new perspectives about thoughts, learned about CBT and stuff. Trying to not shit on myself so much. Started about a month ago and other than thinking I haven't actually done anything.

It's going to take a long time to fix 24 years of very low self esteem.

Going on Jow Forums and helping other people I think is helping me a lot. They say to treat yourself like your friend who needs help so I guess if I help other people I might eventually turn that inwards. Plus I get to talk to some girls, which as said in yesterday's thread can make you go crazy if you don't talk to the opposite gender.

thanks for asking user.

Hmm, cheers, guess we'll meet up and I'll keep hitting it

at least wear a condom this time jesus christ.

Yep. The default for any fetus is female. Testosterone (signaled by activation of the y chromosome) in the womb differentiates a gender neutral reproductive tract. Don't have that, and you become female.

Fun fact, due to a hormonal disorder, XY individuals can be 100% phenotypically female.

Therapy is a long and dreadful process, but it increased my quality of life a lot. It's very hard to learn to love yourself as an adult, but it's so important to get there to build better relationships with others, too.

You should be a little proud of yourself for working on it, it's a bumpy road but I found it's really worth it. I hope it works out.
Take care user.

Did you eve read the question?

I've always had the drive to have a romantic partner (used to write bad romance stories as a kid, got too serious about crushes in middle school). If I actually got a relationship I'm sure it would bring me great happiness as it would be nice to have someone to spend all my time with guaranteed. Extreme best friends but we fuck and are loyal to each other, sounds great.
It's just a personality thing, some women don't care for romance that much. They lack a "romance" drive, I guess.
Unless this isn't what you meant by "companion?" You replied to oddly.

Is it weird to send a girl a message just like "hey how are you doing" if you don't know each other that much, and if not, how do you get to know someone better if you don't know them that much.

In all honesty, I feel like I'm becoming too independent for a long term partner. I don't even like hanging out with my friends for more than two days. I don't know how I could deal with sharing my living space and activities with someone 24/7. My last relationship was very distant in that we didn't spend that much time together.

Be careful.

I do actually. summed it up nicely, only difference being that I've never had a relationship so far.

Travelling with friends, seeing sights, going eating, not having a partner nagging me constantly - unless I'd meet a Superman I get along perfectly with I won't trade desu.

Does the whole "Playing hard to get" thing actually exist or is that a meme?

Okay great. Do you think this romantic feelings will be permanent.

Femanon here.
My husband says it tickles his dick if I keep stroking him after he cums. What part of the dick is feeling that?

From my and my circle of female friends' experiences, not really. It's really shitty to pretend like you're not interested to keep them hanging on and it's much more common to call out behavior like that. Reminds me of pickup artist bullshit. Putting your honest intentions forward, or at least always giving signs you're interested, is best.

The head becomes too sensitive. It' doesn't tickle btw. It's like if he would rub your clit like a retard

I met this girl on tinder over 2 weeks ago, since then we've messaged each other consistently morning to evening, every single day. We haven't met in person yet because she lives about an hour away but we've made plans to do so next week. There's been a lot of flirting, she's obviously into me, and both of us are pulling our weight in the conversation equally.

I haven't touched tinder since then but I do check my notifications. Woke up this morning to a message so I check, don't respond, but then I click on feed... and it shows that the girl I've been talking to for 2 weeks now without pause just updated her tinder bio. She added a flirty line and emojis of some hobbies which we've been discussing.

I don't know what to think right now but I'm a bit hurt honestly. It's stupid to be this attached to someone I've never met, but I've spent hours upon hours talking to her. Should I read into this at all or is it just a careless bio update because she's bored? I know she doesn't just want a one time thing because of time invested into our talks and us making plans for doing other things down the road.

Is this drive physical, or is it emotional. What happens if you don't find a companion? Is there a time limit?

I guess it doesn't tickle for every guy, but he fucking laughs uncontrollably when I do it to him.
Thanks for the info.

I'm really liking it and I really hope it helps. Worst case scenario I have someone to talk to freely now.

I just hope my insurance holds out. I'm off my parents plan in a year and a half with 0 backup.

but anyway, you made my day a little better user, thanks.

Independent? Do you have pets and a good vibrator ? How do you equate independence with finding a companion?

Yes and yes. I have roommates and good friends, so my social needs are met. I don't get very lonely.