Hey so i’m gonna be killing myself soon, within the next month or less

OP wants to kill themselves because they are miserable, meaning they want to end their misery. OP's misery can end while they are alive.
The people that care for you want you more than they do your posessions.

you wont do it faggot

Please do not kill yourself.

don’t believe me just watch lmfao

yeah but i’ve gone to counselling and mostly it’s just me crying and feeling worse when i leave

i’m trying to make my life better and taking big steps but i can’t escape this pain that follows me and haunts me every day, no matter what i do, it won’t stop

How many times though? People can try multiple counsellors before finding one that can help them.
I recommend that you try anti-depressants at least if counselling still doesn't work out for you. There's nothing wrong with using medication to cure an illness.

You know, user, if I was your parent or sibling, I probably wouldn't sell all your possessions because even though I should put you behind me, in my mind you will never fully die and I want to remember you.
But if your dead, you've wasted so much time I could've spent with you. So many things that could've happened while you were alive. It would be sad, but I don't think it would be like a breakup.
I wouldn't be angry with you, or if I was it would be a different type of anger. I would probably frustrated, confused, sad and those emotions may lead me to a weak type of anger. They kind of anger where you just flop your fist down on pillow and cry for hours.

And you know, it wouldn't be about the possessions. I probably wouldn't use them. Maybe I'd keep them for good luck or something.

I really hope that you can get help before you do this, but until then user perhaps what you should do is think of everything you want to do before you die and do all of it before you take your life.

that’s true but all of my friends that take anti depressants are really wacky whenever they don’t have access to them and i have been trying to work on myself and i feel like if i can’t make myself strong enough to deal with my pain then i just shouldn’t even be here. natural selection in a way?

i know it’s selfish and pathetic that i want to go through with this — luckily i don’t really have a family so the only people that might miss me are some friends but i don’t think any of them care enough that they would bothered for the rest of their lives or even half a year. i do appreciate this nonetheless

I don't know what you specifically mean when you mention whacky, but I assume it's better than suicide.
> if i can’t make myself strong enough to deal with my pain then i just shouldn’t even be here.
Such an attitude isn't reasonable. When someone has an infection or a trauma injury, it's better for them to get that treated, rather than to try and bare the pain. Why would your case be any different. Also, you have as much a right to being here as anyone else.

>i don’t think any of them care enough that they would bothered for the rest of their lives or even half a year.
You don't know that for sure. Even if you didn't have anyone that cared for you, you can meet people that will care for you.

>Get a job.

>Hit the gym.

>Hang out with friends

>Get the girl/boy.

I was in the same boat as of 2017, but I realised I should stop feeling sorry for myself and get my life together.

The more distractions, the better.

It may not be the same for everyone but it worked for me, do what counts today and stop waiting for someone else to do it for you.

my ex would always put me down for my illness and would say that anyone who is depressed or whatever is just weak and shouldn’t be here and i was with him for three years and now that’s how i feel towards myself i suppose

it seems as thought people only care for me briefly when they see the good sides of me but once they see how low i get they want nothing to do with me

i workout really hard two hours a day, i go to class, i work 7-8 hour shifts 5-6 days a week, i spend time out of the house as much as i can — i am honestly doing my best but i just can’t seem to be okay at any point. my ex and i split a month ago and i’m not over it and i didn’t want it to happen and i’m upset about it all the time because he told me i’d never find anyone that i’d love more than him and i think he was right and i just — idk. sounds pathetic and shitty i’m sorry

i was also fucked before we split but afterwards i’ve just been a mess

Don't be sorry, you'll get over it, just give it time. (trust me 6 months tops)

Btw your ex seems like an ass and he doesn't deserve you. If he treats you like you're worthless (not to white knight)

Like the saying goes, plenty more fish in the sea

I got in a car accident at my fault and a friend and I got injured badly as a result. I thought I'd never forgive myself and was depressed for so long, but in the end shit happens and I got over it (it just takes time). We're still good friends now too, though I still feel an ache in my ribs now and then and get thoughts of the accident, but remembering it isn't as bad as it used to be.

it’s wild though — i keep thinking of really intense special moments i had with him and i’m so mad because i know he’s going around telling people really gross things and despite everything between us i can’t stop thinking of him positively? i wish i could stop but i can’t stop missing him and i have a million things to tell him and i can’t and it’s just fucking wild — idk. he always told me he was no good for me but i just saw so much good in him and i loved him so intensely and i left him for mainly his own sake but now i’m suffering so bad all of them time. it’s so strange, yenno? it’s like i don’t even wanna find better than him, i just wanted him and now so many aspects of my life feel so meaningless, of course not entirely because he’s gone but i just don’t feel okay and i wish i could fucking hug him one more time

he was also in a really bad accident and he was going through those feelings too and i helped him as much as i could and now from what i hear he’s doing fine and i’m alone with all this pain? idk it sucks and it won’t leave me alone and idk if i can even last six months more

All I can say is, if you truly believe your ex is the one,

Try start things all over, get in touch and ask if he wants to talk.

If he's feeling the same way, he'll reply and you guys can work things out.

Otherwise he's not right for you and is immature for not trying.

Don't live life with regrets, it's short as they say and move on to the next one.

And if you can't date just yet, just chill with friends, watch a movie, play videogames or something

There are always other options, and I hope you're ok wherever you are.

i had to get a restraining order a month ago because he was physically abusive among other ways but i couldn’t handle it and he wouldn’t stop so i kind of had to do it and i don’t regret it, i just... wish things happened differently. i’ve considered dropping the charges and maybe talking to him but i’m sure he hates me because of it so i doubt he would talk to me — which is unfortunate because there’s a lot i need to say for my soul to finally be chill bc things escalated so fast but i don’t think i’ll ever get the chance to tell him any of it and so i’m constantly going to have this shitty weight on my chest about it :/

but thank you for this — spending time with friends kind of helps, but i kinda zone out sometimes and then my existential dread settles in or once i’m alone i’m hurting again. seems like nothing rly helps

user, you remind me of myself.
I would miss you if I knew you were dead. The fact that I might not know if you were dead by the end of this thread would bother me a lot.
Recently, I realized that I've wasted a lot of my life when my eyes were opened by a women who could not reciprocate. My feelings others seemed to be shrouded or protected in some way before then; I hated people, I was jealous every couple I saw. Now after that woman, I feel like I can't hate people, I'm not so jealous of couples, its suddenly easier to talk to people (just a little) but more than that, I just felt all this pain that I think I always had but kept disguised for so long.
There was another girl recently that I started to feel I felt something for, but that was fucking retarded of me.
Despite me not being that old, I feel as if all those years are now catching up to me like a thing that died in my life which isn't entirely untrue. I'm afraid I won't get what I want out of life or that it has already been wasted because I won't get many shots decide whether I want children now and there were years I could've been supported. All these things I could've learned about when I was a fucking teenager. I could've kept friends, I could've been more social and not as miserable as I am.
Plus I'm struggling through college. Not sure how I'm going to get through it.
I took a stress assessment thing that placed me in the highest extreme bracket of stress. I even caught myself thinking about suicide myself today, if even not seriously.

I feel very emotional lately and I'm trying to seek a therapist to help me not lose any more years. But just even to see someone else in pain... To be honest, right now OP, I feel like I really want you to live. If you could just give me that and not make me worry. Because I really am worried. Its hard to get a therapist that's available. How am I supposed to know, really know, that I won't follow you some day?
So yes, there are people that care.

That's not pathetic. I've never even been in a relationship and I'm not even going to tell you my age, but suffice to say I still now feel what was lost.
I think I now realize the pain of having developed that side of me would likely be less bad than the pain I incurred overall without it.

don't pick stupid methods, don't just say goodbye, make sure you're not going to hell

wasting time is a big fear me i’m glad to be pretty young and somewhat wise, i just have had this pain so long and it was easier to bear before he left but now it’s almost impossible and it sucks life from me.

i’m sorry you felt hate for so long, hate is the root of most miseries. i’m also sorry that you’re crazy stressed — i’m doing my best but i’m not strong anymore and i haven’t got money for therapy either. i do greatly appreciate this message, despite how bad i feel — this is the one unwise choice i’ll be making this year, it’s t

* it’s too much for me to keep looking for reasons to stay, which sounds wacky but :/

>may 2018
m8 contact a suicide hotline or talk to people that are close to you

i do but i’ve been dealing with depression for years and no matter how much i try not to be a burden, i think anyone that cared about me stopped caring awhile ago because nobody likes a sad cunt i guess lol

nu

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>hey so i’m gonna be killing myself soon, within the next month or less.

Just stop bothering others with your emotional blackmail bullshit and do whatever you need for yourself by yourself and in secret, bitch.

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I don't mean to be the cocksucker in the thread but you really should have your will in order.

Good news is, sorting a proper will takes about a month or so, so you've got time to think it over until it arrives in the post.

Please don't die though mate.

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am i really bothering others with “emotional blackmail” if i’m not talking to any of my friends or loved ones about it?