GF says there's no reason to get married in this day and age, especially from a man's POV even though we both want kids...

GF says there's no reason to get married in this day and age, especially from a man's POV even though we both want kids. She said she thought I was smarter than that. We've been together for 6 years. Not gonna lie, I'm pretty traditional and almost think of her as trashy now. What would you do in this situation? Is this a red flag? I don't want to have kids with my "girlfriend". I wanted her to be my wife.

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If it's the kind of thing you'll never see eye to eye on and one of you doesn't compromise and hold it to the same level of importance as the other, then yeah, it could be a huge gamebreaker because it will invariably come up. Whether consciously or not, one of you or the other will always remember having to make a steep compromise.

She’s wise beyond her years. If you love someone then you love them. Throwing a party and signing government contracts won’t change that.

Don't listen to this cuck.

She thought you were "smarter than that"? What the fuck? Yeah ditch her. She sounds immature, and she's insulting you for wanting a traditional relationship. Like I'm actually blown away by this. Huge red flag.

Dude she's bright, and I can already tell you she wants to be with you for you, not half of what you own, alimony, or child support.

Tell me right fucking now why you NEED to get married is important, especially as a man.

>WHAT IS TAX RELIEF
It doesn't even have to be a wedding with witnesses, you could both get a common law marriage in the courthouse and both be better off for it. She is either a legitimate dumbass for thinking marriage doesn't have any benefits or a cheating whore that doesn't want to be "tied down".

Fuck off back to Jow Forums tradcuck.
Your gf is right.

You know everything you said implies she is in fact a whore, right? And she knows it, which is why she's saving OP the trouble and won't tie the knot because that means giving up half of her shit too. Some of you tards like to act like divorce is 100% the man giving shit to the woman and she gives nothing but that's not the case.

>"Daddy, why do you call mommy your girlfriend? How come she's not your wife?"

>He thinks family court is going to side with him


Let's play devil's advocate, even if she is a whore, she is saving you fucking trouble down the road.

I mean, if you're gonna be yet another deadbeat bastard of a father then yeah, court isn't gonna side with you. Your kids are gonna know which side gives more love and which side is dumping them into daycare and putting on airs to collect money.

I agree with your girlfriend.

50% of marriage ends in divorce. Do you want to flip the coin?

Is love not enough? Do you want a formal contract and state, perhaps religious, involvement?

Saying "I love you" and being committed to one person should be enough. You shouldn't need to have the threat of state enforcement behind you.

Nothing traditional about marriage these days anyway.

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She's right. Better to owe child support than child support AND alimony. Go knock her up repeatedly, my man.

Girl here...
I WANT TO GET MARRIED.
There's something special about being husband and wife. I don't want to be an eternal boyfriend and girlfriend. If I dated a guy who said that he never wanted to get married, all I can say is he better reconsider real fast or I'd dump his ass and warn every girl within a 100 mile radius to stay away from him so that he'll die old, withered, and alone.

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You were with someone for 6 years and didn't know how they stand on marriage until now?

So call her your wife. You don't need to get married to do that.

If you need a legal contract to keep somebody in a relationship, it's not a very strong relationship.

>Not gonna lie, I'm pretty traditional and almost think of her as trashy now
Your relationship was a joke anyways if one disagreeable conversation causes you to call the person you've dedicated 6 years of your life to trashy. If this is situation is reflective of how good you both are at talking through conflict then your marriage would be a disaster. Honestly, its amazing you've made it this far.

>calling your girlfriend a girlfriend and your wife a wife when addressing her

Lmao polcuck virgin

>If a man does not conform I will trash his reputation

With that attitude I'm sure someone will snap you up fast.

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My advice is to break up.

>calls him a cuck
>shills for marriage
get a load of this guy

OPs girl is correct - marriage in this day and age is just a tool for cold blooded whores that are willing to take advantage of men and stab them in the back.

Her saying this is a good sign for OP.

I was like her in my old relationship.
Married for 2 years now.

You sound like a shitty material for a wife if you display this line of thinking. No wonder he told you that he doesn't want to get married. You probably just further encouraged his reservations towards marriage.

Goddamn, the level of ignorance that people have about marriage is absolutely staggering.

listen to this guy

marriage is fucking retarded, literally nothing about it makes sense now. there's no reason to artificially tie yourself to another person.

if you love her, and she loves you, then what about a marriage makes that any more concrete? having children is one thing but it still makes no difference, if you're gonna be together you'll do so with or without a contract saying so.

and 5 years from now when the two of you realize that staying with the same person for over a decade gets boring and causes problems, you're not legally tied at the hip. which is a huge burden off of both of you and may actually be a boon to a healthy relationship.

so seriously, who fucking cares. give me one legitimate reason for marriage, seriously. one reason that doesn't boil down to pointless tradition or ceremony. one fucking reason to legally bind yourself to a person and bring all of that burden and responsibility and stress on your shoulders which doesn't actually bring a quantifiable (or any) benefit that couldn't already be done without it.

This. And if you're adamant about it you may even get her to wear a ring when you two go out to social events.

marriage was originally a contract designed to attempt to apply rules to family conduct.

people used family and relationships as an excuse for all kinds of garbage. they would marry a girl 20 years younger them under contract, and then have absolute control over them and their life.

alternatively, it gave women sway over the husband. if he was found to be unfaithful or unlawful, the contract held him obligated to certain things, which helps the woman.

in the 21st century, where women and men can more or less live however they want in first world countries, marriage is basically just a layover tradition and a legal trap. women can fend for themselves and make their own money, they are no longer required to tend to a house all day and take care of children.

there is no reason to get married. your relationship is gonna do what it is gonna do, getting married only adds a huge legal battle to it should you decide to split. judging by your knee-jerk attitude, you aren't going to last with her anyways.

so stop being retarded. you can get most of the scarce benefits of marriage with a much lesser contract anyways, like a cohabitation agreement, and not lock yourself into the ridiculous struggle that is getting married.

the only reason to get married these days is so your money and assets go to your spouse when you die, which shouldn't be a fucking concern unless you've both made it together much longer than 6 years and are much older than you are now. and you could always just get a proper will written, anyways.

She's right. Marriage is for chumps. Dump her and give me her number.

Well she's right. If there's no reason to get married, then you shouldn't.

The world is changing, it's time to adapt user. You're not living in the last century (or millennium for that matter).

The only scenario where marriage is a smart move, is if your partner makes more money than you. With marriage, you're legally tying someone down to share their resources 50/50 with you both during the marriage, but also after you get divorced. Which is not coincidentally why women usually get the better end of the deal with marriage. For women, getting married is like signing their personal insurance policy. After a woman gets married to a guy with a high income, her financial future is basically secured.

If you're a capable, competent dude who has a solid career, getting married is the most retarded decision you can ever make.

>no reason to get married in this day and age, especially from a man's POV
Well she's aware of the unfairness and thus less likely to fuck you over.

Explain to her you want to take the risk and marry her.

My bf and I grew up believing marriage was a bunch of bullshit. Both my parents and his parents are absolute retards that probably should have gotten a divorce eons ago. Now we're in our mid-20s and have actually started to grow up, and everyone else we know is settling down/settled down already. We've reconsidered our beliefs and will probably get married ourselves, when the time's right.

Will it work out in the long run? Who knows. But if we're going to be married for even just a decade, that's a decade of financial benefits and the ability to have the best healthcare through our jobs. That's worth it to us.

>Everyone else we know is settling down/settled down
>We've reconsidered our beliefs
Sounds like the only reason you've 'reconsidered your beliefs' is due to social pressure. There is no rational/logical consideration going on here, you simply feel the social pressure of seeing your friends/relatives get married but not you.

Not really, we've just realized that holding back from something completely normal to parade our own egotistical moral superiority is a useless endeavor. The only sanctification you get from not getting married is what, being bitter and proud that you're "not like the other guys?" If you're in a long-term relationship where you live together and have no sign of stopping, it's impractical to dig your heels in the mud to deny that you were wrong.

>holding back from something completely normal to parade our own egotistical moral superiority is a useless endeavor.
If you haven't realized it yet, doing something because it's considered 'normal' IS social pressure.

If changing your mind due to new information that contradicts your previous beliefs is the bar for being subjected to "social pressure," than the very beliefs you hold are also due to "social pressure." We are not born with ethics and values, we are born into them and modify them based on our cultural experience. You have either been "pressured" to believe that marriage is to be valued or not valued, through your own observations, where you go, who you trust, and what you specifically believe.

In other words, the way you're using "social pressure" implies that social pressure is inherent in all viewpoints, even yours. Now, what social pressure actually is typically interpreted as is, you know, your parents and your friends ragging on you 24/7 and actually trying to persuade you to join their viewpoint as opposed to passive observation. You know, actual pressure.

But sure, we were totally socially pressured into thinking marriage is great and got converted by those dastardly normies. Soon we'll be eating at Applebee's and refusing to use the self-checkout isle.

well, there's decent tax benefits

Part of growing up and and being a productive adult and not a stupid child is getting over yourself and taking part in the institutions and traditions that extend beyond your personal desire.

you're GF has something wrong with her, you'd better just let me have her

>She said she thought I was smarter than that.

Sounds kinda bitchy, honestly.

I'd wake up every day wondering if this is the day she's going to decide she can do better. Wait until times get tough, whether or not you have a kid, and this chick will be up and gone.

And furthermore, a marriage is a commitment to your partner. If she's not willing to commit to you, then you have some thinking to do.

Yeah, red flag. She wants an easy exit in case something goes wrong or a better option turns up.

there's some beneficial tax shit about this in the usa, aint it?
if you live there thats probably the only benefit

Maybe tell her why you want it? Tell her it's a celebration of love. It doesn't have to be big.
DESU, kids was always a kinda and marriage was always a definitely. I want to get married and have a life long commitment. When you're not married there's not much stopping you from just walking away.

>GF says there's no reason to get married in this day and age, especially from a man's POV
She is completely right

Yes that is extremely trashy. You should break up with her. And in the future, you need to talk about these things VERY early on in the relationship. Kids, marriage, beliefs, religion, ect. You should at least talk about these things a little bit within your first month of dating.

>50% of marriage ends in divorce. Do you want to flip the coin?
Marriage only ends in so much divorce these days because people don't see it as a permanent thing anymore and give up rather than working on their problems.

>Oh I think someone else is cute
>Time to get divorced
>Oh, I haven't been happy this month
>Time to get divorced
>Oh a cuter girl / richer guy is flirting with me
>Time to get divorced

Overall happiness has also gone down because of this shit.

>marriage is so great we have to bribe people to do it
huh

Dude you're fucking retarded why didn't you both talk about it early on in the relationship? Like what the fuck your goals are, what you want to do with your life, if you wanna have any children or not, or if you eventually want them, if you want to travel the world or not, etc.

>getting married

Butter much?

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>I'm pretty traditional

Yeah that's why. She doesn't want to be forced into a role to fulfill your happy ever after fantasy. Feelings speak for themselves. I don't even want a wedding myself, and I run from guys that see me and try to make me their wife because theyre a "family guy" because I already know that translates to boring and expects me to do all the work. I want an equal partner, she's been with you 6 years, nothing will change after marriage unless you expect it too which is what people try to avoid.

Huh?

I'd make sure if she is serious about not wanting to get married, she could just be saying it so that you wont get scared off or something, further inquiry is needed. Wanting to have kids but not get married is pretty strange.

You struck gold. She is 100% correct. Maraige is an antiquated concept. What the fuck is a ring going to give you that you dont already have in your relationship? Permanancy? Maraiges fail all the time. Feeling fade or grow over time, ring or no ring.

>is this a red flag?
You bet. On the plus side she is doing you a favor. Im sorry user, I dont know what to do. I'd say move on and look for another girl, but that 6 years of investment with her? Well shit, I barely ever even invested a single year with a single girl. It doesnt sound right user.

Not OP but i don't think that equal relationship and marriage are mutually exclusive. I think if you plan to be serious and have kids, marriage is the logical next step. Or do you want to be flexible your whole life and not ever settle for one guy? I think everyone should get married and have kids, i feel a little sad for those that don't.

So you want your fellow man to become slaves of treacherous parasites, and take joy in seeing it happen?
The bluepill meme is real.

>What would you do in this situation?
Listen to my GF.

If you live in the US, and you get a divorce for whatever reason, you will be subjecting yourself to an unholy world of hell which will last you years. It would literally bankrupt you, because not only would you be paying for your legal fees, but also HER legal fees and whatever other bullshit they can use to nail you to the wall. Divorce is completely one-sided for men, doubly so if you have kids.

If you want to have a traditional marriage ceremony then that's OK, just don't get the law involved. That shit will fuck you up for life.

In all honesty, I only know one married couple that actually felt genuine. All the other ones I know are either known cheaters, sluts, or gay people who are lying to themselves. Totally not worth it.

>t. Seething roastie

This

Unironically this. I had a manager who had been trying to divorce his ex for years because she kept contesting it. He finally got it done, but died a few months later. Shit will literally drain you.

Funny comment considering that half the guys here in this thread are outing themselves as "BUT I WANT A WIFEY" princesses. Same reasoning as women wanting to get married, too, muh proof of love and commitment.

I'm a guy and i agree with you 100%

Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic but i can't live in a world where i can't have a girl to marry and love forever

>i can't live in a world where i can't have a girl to marry and love forever
Well, it's not impossible, but it simply puts you in a very vulnerable position to be taken advantage off. For this idealization of romance to work out, you're betting on meeting a woman who will not only reciprocate this kind of unconditional love, but will also always act in the best interest of both the two of you and the marriage.

If you've seen how many people get divorced nowadays, you can see how this is not how it works out in a large number of cases. For simplification you can easily go with about 50% of marriages in today's world. If you happen to project you idealization of romance onto the wrong woman, it can absolutely ruin your life.

There's literally no reason not to get married if you love each other. You only stand to benefit from tax breaks. If she's afraid of marriage she's afraid of commitment and wants an easy way out down the road.

Also, something i forgot to mention in Most people who are skeptical about marriage aren't saying you can't or shouldn't fall in love with a woman. What we are saying is, why would you get married? There is absolutely no logical reason or statistical evidence out there to assume that being married to someone makes you love them more. If you're in a relationship with someone, getting married won't all of a sudden make your relationship better. The degree to which you love someone isn't affected by whether you signed this little document or not. The only thing it does is complicate things if you decide to split up, it can even downright ruin you.

Basically, marriage is a high risk and low reward investment.

>don't give into social pressure user
>but don't get married unless you're a fuckin government cuck

Don't ask strangers for advice on what to do in your life, do you really want Jow Forums to be the reason you do/don't get married? If you want her to be your wife and she's not interested, its a dealbreaker. Sorry bro best of luck

Bait

If my girlfriend turned around and said this to me i would be heartbroken. We've only been together a bit over two years, but her being my wife is something I am working towards. What's the point of a relationship if you don't get a wife?

Why does love require logic?

>he thinks marriage makes a woman more loyal
user, women can make a living with divorce. if anything it makes them less loyal, as now the daddy state has given them the leash.

>She said she thought I was smarter than that.
That's where you say, "nope! I am pants-on-head retarded for you, babe."

She's trying to do what's best for you, because she loves you. Marriage is what's best for her though.

Why do you need to be married? I know I'm never going to marry my bf of over 5 years, used to want to but now I don't see the point. My cousin and his gf have 5 kids, a nice house, a great life, and they didn't have to get married. All of the married couples I know are miserable and feel trapped with each other. My mom told me she got married because she felt insecure and didn't want my dad to be able to leave easily. It just doesn't seem like a good reason.. I agree with the other Anons itt, marriage is really high risk and low reward, I trust that my bf wants to be with me forever and if he doesn't I wouldn't want to have to negotiate a legal battle to break up, for what purpose?

I understand your fears, and i don't know if you are right or wrong, all i can say is i don't consider myself the same as other people(especially from you since i dont live in the anglosphere), i think i know what I'm doing. And on top of that, even if the worst happens, i believe in "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all", so it's a risk worth taking. If you want to cook you're gonna have to get burned sometimes... or something like that...

moneyunder30.com/financial-benefits-of-marriage
I thought you were smarter than this

Well, you get a tax break for being married. But will that tax break pay fir the cost of your wedding?

Either she doesn't like you enough to marry or she's a brainlet.

> no reason to get married in this day and age
How about insurance, tax sharing, property sharing, able to give consent and visits in hospitals to your partner.

A traditional marriage is irrelevant but the civil partnership that comes with it is not. You need to be seen as a couple in the eyes of the law to request couple specific treatment.

50% of white people marriage ends in divorce. Other cultures don't have near the same problem as you retards do. I'm not sure why you devolved so much.