I'm getting my test tomorrow, but if it's positive, I don't know what I'm going to do. My boyfriend and i live together and both have jobs. We want kids in the future, but not now. He's made it clear that if the worst was to happen, he'd want me to get an abortion.
However I just don't have the heart to get rid of this baby if the test turns out positive. I feel as though I shouldn't tell him if it turns out to be true, and just go have a life of my own. I feel like telling him would be a burden on his conscious, and he might stay with me out of obligation instead of love. I wouldn't plan on ever asking for child support or anything like that, I just feel ill over the thought of getting rid of my potential child.
" you never told me I had a son, you liar!" Or something like that If you guys are "kinda married" you should tell him, either way, he cant sue you, but he can ask for a legal document so that you dont ask for money later(like a bitch)
Sebastian Ward
I wouldn't have any problems signing legal documentation like that
My only fear is that he won't let me do this. He is the type who would stay and take care of the child, even if he didn't plan to
I don't want to ruin his life and burden his future, but I just don't have it in me to get this abortion.
Easton Myers
If you both love each other, then it's not going to be a burden. It's going to be tough, sure, but you both wanted a kid eventually anyway. Nothing ever goes the way you plan it, but if you don't want to get rid of it and he wants to raise it, then there's nothing you need to run away from. Just tell him what you're thinking and see what he says. Don't let those hormones get the better of you before you've even taken the test.
Logan Price
Abortion is murder. You could be a mother and you are seriously considering killing your child.
Aiden Thompson
hey. you're hormonal. it's going to be ok.
transparency is always the best option. your partner will want you to tell him. and he will want you to express your feelings about it all.
follow your heart.
Kayden Richardson
>put baby up for adoptation >have your best friend adopt kid >get to see kid without effort >??? >profit I dunno, really. You can always go full new wave feminist on him and shout "IT'S MY BODY AND I DECIDE I WANT TO KEEP THE KID!"
Nolan Ross
Reminder: A baby born in the fetus is a bunch of congregated cells and not fully human until it squirms out the women womb. Don't let this fucker guilt you into thinking you're a murderer. And it is justifiable in certain cases i.e., rape.
Lucas Ward
Abortion is murder.
We are all congregated cells.
Kevin Sullivan
op doesn't want to murder her baby.
also, several states just passed a law that says abortion can be carried out up to delivery day. aka. the doctor can punt a fully formed newborn straight from the womb out the window and it's perfectly legal. how does that make you feel? do you draw the line there? where DO you draw the line?
Isaac Carter
get the abortion you fucking idiot
James Morris
Yeah, and so is literally anything you eat; it's alive, at some point.
The rest of humanity got over it, I'm sure they'll continue to. Necessity is a bitch; roll over or die, but don't bitch at people trying to get shit done.
Adam Martinez
As a dude, I would want to know. Even if it were to throw my life into a tailspin.
John Barnes
Seconded. I think I'd have more comfort in knowing and being a part of the solution even if that is against my wishes. It's her body, after all; I refuse to force either birth or abortion on her since I don't deal with the bulk of the fallout if anything goes wrong.
Samuel King
Do you know what else is murder?
Child birth.
Women die all the time to give life to a child and yet nobody wants to talk about that. Instead they want to put signs of butchered fetuses in front of children as if it's an act of mercy that they learn a supposed "truth" instead of seeing it as the act of murdering innocence in children who don't need to see that graphic imagery.
But nobody wants to talk about that.
Christian Richardson
how old are you?
Carson Nguyen
ah, so THIS is whataboutism. where is your intellectual honesty?
Jeremiah Hall
>Life is defined by it's position from the vagina How are you this retarded?
Ryan Perez
New life and the next generation is more important.
Cameron Hughes
Fetus deletus
Henry Baker
Just bake him a pizza and use the baby as one of the toppings (all meats, supreme whvr) and then it will always be part of you
You all are fucking disgusting, this lady just wants some help.
OP, Tell your guy as soon as possible, but only if the test is positive. I am sure he'd want to know as soon as possible so he can start getting prepared for a potential child, rather than just figuring out one day and severely hurting your relationship with him, as well as causing unnecessary stress for both of you. I wish you two the best of luck.
Dominic Adams
You don't get to decide that. Women do, so fuck off.
Charles Watson
I support abortion because then unwanted children like you didn't have to exist and burden the world.
James Morris
whataboutism is when people say every aborted baby was gonna be the bext Einstein or something as opposed to the next Hitler. There is equal chance of harm to mother versus not as there is the baby would become a serial killer or not.
William Howard
If the choice were about womans body then she would die not the baby. Its clearly a choice about babies life not hers. And decision should be made by both.
Kevin Long
If your boyfriend forces you to get an abortion against your own will I'd recommand you to leave him. A real supportive boyfriend / soon-to-be dad supports your choice and is there to comfort you, not to force you to do something you don't want to.
I am a pro-life myself so I wouldn't suggest you to abort it, if you both love each other deep then just try talking about it? Don't hate your kid because they come from an "accident" or because it's "too early", life and love for you kid shouldn't be decided by the time it is created but rather by its existence itself.
Dylan Brown
How do educated people in a civilized country get pregnant unwillingly?
Joshua Adams
this
Owen Roberts
Your concern about the entire situation is the one of a good human being, so keep being it and tell him.
Mason Evans
If you don’t want to get rid of it, you have to tell your bf that. If he don’t want it now, you need to move on.
Charles Cook
If you mother did the right thing and decided to abort, then we wouldn't have to deal with another retard who lacks basic reading comprehension but still replies. She literally wrote that she doesn't want to abort, moron
William Ross
"If the worst was to happen" Did you just call your unborn child "the worst"? Yeah, nah, you'd better kill it if thats how you think of it then.
Gavin Richardson
> several states just passed a law that says abortion can be carried out up to delivery day. This is absolutely not true. In most states, abortion can be carried out till the baby is able to survive outside of the womb or up to the beginning of 3rd trimester TOPS. No one takes a fully formed baby out of the womb and kills it.
Aaron Garcia
You guys are fucking idiots, how do you say don't want a baby and he doesn't have you on the plan b or pill whatever.
He obviously probs don't care, talk to him about see what you guys want to do.
Owen Moore
if it's positive tell him. contrary to popular belief, ignorance is not bliss. he'd find out eventually and not be happy with you.
Joseph Gonzalez
I have no real opinion on abortion, but I know abortion of a third child haunted my mother for decades and still does so now.
Depends. If there's too little nutrients the baby will get first but the mother can also go without for longer. If the mother is e.g. too skinny she will stop getting her period because she's not in good enough shape to carry a child, so that's self-preservation. We don't exactly know what plays a part in early stage miscarriages, but given how common they are it wouldn't surprise me that miscarrying because of stress is a built in way to invest in quality over quantity when it comes to childbirth and select for children that can be born in good circumstances.
I also doubt in other situations you care much about what nature wants you to do. As a man it is your biological job to sacrifice your life for any woman/child in the face of danger. That's the way it was evolutionarily designed, even if just a handful of men remain they can impregnate the women, women are more scarce resources because of how long it takes for us to have relatively independent offspring. But I don't take it you think your life is less valuable than that of just any woman because "nature" thinks so.
I agree both should be able to express their thoughts but as the full physical burden of either termination or pregnancy falls on the woman, it's madness to say it should be a 50/50 decision.
Owen Wood
At least you're not denying an unborn life is being killed. If you want to put a human life on the same moral plateau as a human's, try to convince OP that.
Owen Bailey
Just went through something similar. Wait til you're sure that you're pregnant before talking to him or making any brash decisions. Whether you are or not, you need to have a serious talk about what will happen if you get pregnant with him, especially since you don't seem to want an abortion. You need to be on the same page about this. Maybe he would prefer an abortion, but it doesn't necessarily mean he'd leave you if you don't get one.
Austin Scott
People telling me not to abort.... I wouldn't, that's the point of this thread
I am on regular birth control, but took a medication recently that I didn't know till afterwards that it made birth control significantly less effective.
I will post results later today after i take the test
I understand that he may stay and take care of the baby, but he'll spend his entire life resenting us for taking away the future he wants. I would rather him be happy
Gavin Lopez
>Women die all the time to give life to a child and yet nobody wants to talk about that. So you're agreeing that abortion is horrible murder. That's a good first step.
Step two, move out from Africa.
Eli Hernandez
He might resent the future with the child He might resent you never telling him about the child You don't know, and it's his his right to make that choice
Just make his options clear, but the right thing to do is to tell him
Aiden Jackson
Read the laws in NY and Virginia. They absolutely CAN kill a fully formed baby.
They can't unless the mother's life is at risk or the child is 100% going to die right after birth, and this is certified by multiple doctos. It is extremely rare that a circumstance like that happen, it is not legal to terminate a pregnancy right before birth in general.
Oliver Scott
>it is not legal to terminate a pregnancy right before birth in general. [citation needed]
Cooper Diaz
Virginia law: law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title18.2/chapter4/section18.2-74/ >The physician and two consulting physicians certify and so enter in the hospital record of the woman, that in their medical opinion, based upon their best clinical judgment, the continuation of the pregnancy is likely to result in the death of the woman or substantially and irremediably impair the mental or physical health of the woman. >Measures for life support for the product of such abortion or miscarriage must be available and utilized if there is any clearly visible evidence of viability. If the woman is at risk of death, they can try to end the pregnancy. If there's a chance that the baby can live, they have to try to keep it alive.
NY law: factcheck.org/2019/02/addressing-new-yorks-new-abortion-law/ >The RHA permits abortions when — according to a medical professional’s “reasonable and good faith professional judgment based on the facts of the patient’s case” — “the patient is within twenty-four weeks from the commencement of pregnancy, or there is an absence of fetal viability, or the abortion is necessary to protect the patient’s life or health.”
>out of obligation He's not the only person who's obligated to make your relationship work. The statistics are clear cut. Children without their biological father do worse in school, do more drugs, commit more crime, and commit suicide more often. You're not a child anymore. There's no excuse for this child to not have a loving, full home. You will not get affirmation from me on this. Grow up and bear your responsibility.
Liam Lewis
It was never murder, it was a crime to cause the death of babies after the 24th week (unlawful abortion). Now if you terminate a pregnancy after the 24th week you get charged with first degree assault, it doesn't prevent the crime to be persecuted. Just changed the crime you get persecuted for.
Aaron Sanchez
Can I ask what birth control method you were using and what is the medication you refer? My gf is on BC and wanna prevent anything like this.
Jordan Rivera
Then let him stay and take care of the kid. Why are you trying to make decisions for your boyfriend? Are you a control freak, or just don't trust his ability to make decisions for himself?
Angel Roberts
How about just talk with him about it? Don't try to run away from it to a retarded people, like us, but instead ask how it is? Personally, as a man, I would like to have kids, even if we're not ready for it, but I'm alone and lonly, so who cares
Connor Hall
Single motherhood is shit tier for you and the kid. If you’re preggo and the dude won’t step up, dump the idiot and adopt out the kid. Someone good will want her, a nice family. Or abort. But don’t single mom it.
Joshua Campbell
Antibiotics, anti-fungal medication, anti-seizure drugs (including topiramate, which is commonly used for headache treatment).
Aaron Davis
And what BC were you using? Pill? Monthly Inyection?
Joseph Nguyen
I'm not OP, just a med student - the medication I listed decrease how well the pill work. Also some antidepressants/antianxiety meds, or anti-nausea medication.
Brandon Murphy
>muh feefees i feel like beating the shit out of people every day but i dont dont destroy your relationship and future because you feel like having a kid now
Jaxson Nelson
>Necessity is a bitch there is rarely the necessity to kill an unborn child it mostly is convenience
Jackson Cooper
He threw his chance at happiness away when he knocked you up. What matters now is your kid, not you or him.
Charles Sanders
>Yeah, and so is literally anything you eat I don't eat human. Only humans can be murdered.
James Morris
It's public knowledge to see if you have a child if you're a man now
My ex ran away when she found out I was pregnant. She didn't know my family would have given us a set life with a house if she stayed. Instead she took one look our lifestyle- judged us and said fuck you guys here's some applebees.
This devastated our entire family. She makes excuses like I could have been an astronaut or something, but I had the best job when I was with her and had purpose and was shopping for rings and then she bails taking the kid with her and I didn't find out until much later.
Apparently I can just o kill myself so I did try- once.
I mean it's alright that the kid is with wealthy people, but she refuses to ever let me see him ever so he is just one of those wild oats out there.
Do the father a favor and at least tell him you are pregnant and think he is a POS
It's human to do that instead of being subject to cruelty for the rest of your days
I imagine she tells my child fake stories about me, but one day he will grow older and I'll just say. Your mother is a cunt. What can I say. She thought I was trash and continue eating my meal while I offer him a spot at a family table he is not allowed to ever sit at, because he is a bastard
