How do i stop getting infatuated with a girl as soon as she shows me any attention?

How do i stop getting infatuated with a girl as soon as she shows me any attention?

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Stop equating love with contact, because that's degrading love.

Practice and Experience. After a while of dating and receiving complements it wont seem like a big deal. Its just a lack of practice and experience.

Shit into her mouth.

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Deal with the root causes of your insecurities (ie lack of unconditional love from parents while growing up)

is kinda right. If you're lonely and desperate, having someone who shows that they give any kind fo crap about you may immediately seem like they're someone special or that you have an invititaion/chance to pursue them.

They may be someone special regarding the former, but in case of the latter - you don't. Realize that some people, including girls, may be nice toward you and even care, but still find you buttugly or simply are interested in someone else and wouldn't be with you at all. In this case, treat it like male friends/bros - you can have one who is kind and has your back, but it doesn't mean he'd like you to suck his dick (with rare exceptions in case of certain people, I guess).

Also, stop overthinking things. Again, if kind words etc are a rare thing for you, you may consider any thrown your way quite significant. But many people throw those around more than candy and may even give you an honestly nice line while forgetting you minutes later.

Limit your thirst, have a nice fap, you'll feel better.

You cannot or should I say men cannot. Its just how men are wired.

monitoring this

First you need to learn that just because a girl seems nice, doesn't mean she's perfect for you. There's a ton of things to watch out for, red flags, that may indicate problems in the future if you were to be in a relationship with her.

Initially you should be looking out for those things and sometimes you might even not be interested in the girl because she's not gonna make you happy in the long run. Physical appearance is one thing but it can't be everything so once you understand that, it'll be easier to not get attached to any girl that says "hi" to you. Have some self worth, think of what will be good for you, don't just assume things are going to be great because she seems like a nice person or just gave you some attention

tell yourself she's tring to manipulatr you, because she is

What really sucks for me is that I wasn't super attracted in the beginning, but I forced myself to be attracted and now it backfired.

How does one do that?

This. It's just you being inexperienced with girls. After 1 or 2 gfs it goes away.

Numbers. It's like applying for jobs. If you spend all month working on one application, reading about the job, looking up info etc, you will inevitably become infatuated, and invest a lot into the position, only to still have drastically a lower batting average than a pitcher in the MLB, and thus likely get crushed when you don't get the job. If you apply to 3 jobs in a day, then get up the next morning and apply for another 3, you probably won't get super attached to one or the other. You might be more interested in some than others, but you won't become infatuated. Obviously the goal is not to work at 5 different jobs, you want just one long run stable job, but it would be retarded to just apply for one and hope you get it. Same with women, to get over this you need exposure to hitting on more women, to hopefully, getting attention from more women. A lot of people here conflate wanting 1 GF with having to only hit on one woman.

Ironically, one of the only ways to deal with insecure attachment is to have a long period of secure attachment. Good luck.

Everyone else here covered the basics, but I would also add one thing:

Spend some time thinking about yourself. Think about your goals, your dreams, your desires, figure out who the fuck you are.

One reason people confuse infatuation with love is because they don't have a stable sense of self, and therefor cling to external stimuli.

If you know who you are, are comfortable in your own skin, and know what you want, you're by default going to be a lot more aware of what other people have going on and how it fits in with what you have going on.

What if nobody finds you attractive and wants to be with you, except for really fat girls who have zero options and only consider you one because they can't do any better. I know that sounds horrible, but I'm asking in earnest.

See

If "nobody finds you attractive" it's either a flaw in how you perceive yourself (people do find you attractive but you don't see it), or a flaw in how you see the world (you've become a miserable cunt/lack a lifestyle that reflects a desireable person) and so you've got to work through the issues with yourself before you can actually make a relationship happen.

IDK man, the people who find me attractive usually aren't the ones I'm interested in and maybe that's my real problem. I also think the past year or two I've probably been a shitty human being, despite insistence to the contrary. I really think it's option C and that I'm either depressed, or it's because I got raised by aloof parents and I don't feel secure in myself, so I seek validation a little more than normal, thinking even the slightest brush off is a sign I am hated.

That's wrong as shit dude

You won't ever have a real relationship (or even be a real person, imo) until you stop needing validation from others . Some people will never reach this in their lives.

So then you've got to spend some time working on yourself.

I know that shit is some gay "lifetime romance film classics" advice, but it's true. Be it through therapy or self-guided reading or whatever works for you, you need to establish a solid sense of self-identity before the rest of it will ever come together.

Yeah that's half of it. The other half is being physically attractive, and not being tall has made so many women turn away from me it's not even funny.

Don’t sperg out and show attention immediately back. Wait a bit and look for other signs. Is she responding to what you say? Laughing at what you say? Give you body language signs? If so, keep it cool and don’t be retarded. See where it goes and then make your move.

This user is right.
Jow Forums boards (for the most part) foster and encourage unhealthy codependency.

Being codependent is not the same as wanting to be wanted at all. Humans are wired for social connections and mating. Without it something is missing. And wanting validation is not the same as feeling sad because you're alone. The people who don't need "validation" are like this because they KNOW they are desiriable. Think about it.