Girlfriend wants to hang with other guys

Second this. Nothing is more unattractive than a jealous insecure boy. Ew.

Don't fucking reply. Ghost her stupid ass. You got better shit to do.

no he doesn't look how involved and self righteous he is lmao

This is a shit test and you're blowing it.

I'm a girl. I have a friends group with both girls and boys, sometimes I go out just with 2 boys or one boy.
It is fucking annoying when my boyfriend assumes I'm going to suck someone's dick just because they're in my general area.
Honestly, if you were my boyfriend for 2 months, I'd just dump you.

You're a girl. Not a woman. Shut up.

How do you pass this particular shit test? By not caring, or by not putting up with her shit?

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I'm probably older than you, in a committed long term relationship. Shut up.
I fully understand the implication of a man telling me to not hang out with a guy friend. Nothing is more offputting than that.
What you're telling me is that you see no reason for a man to stick around me unless he gets to put his cock in me, and that I'm a whore who has no respect for you, our relationship and myself and is incapable of being faithful.
If you think this of me, I'd just rather dump you.

I understand wanting to set boundaries (I'm not one to hang out at home while drunk with a male friend, not because I think something will happen but just out of respect for you) but in general, fuck you.

That's because you don't understand how men think, that's why you think it's ok

you sound like a 15 year old, stfu

Honestly as a woman, her sending you that text is really weird and suspect. ‘Boys’? Like ‘lets hang out and talk with cute boys’??
You don’t really call platonic guy friends ‘boys’. Maybe ‘the boys’ but maybe shes just usig weird terminology.
If it were her friend mike or jim, then why didnt she specify ‘guy friends’ or something?
OP i would have responded witht your response if my boyfriend sent that to me. I guess just wait and ask her about it

Listen to me OP I was in a very similar situation with my wife when we were dating our first month. If this girl doesn't respect you enough to honor you and not hang out with guys you don't wanna hang out with, then dump her. At the time my current wife respected my wishes and didn't hang out with certain guys if I asked her not to. It's the ultimate thot test, if she doesn't respect you dum that hoe. Another girl will respect you in the future.

Men are not a hivemind, you microwaved hamster.
1. Even if you're my boyfriend, you have no right to tell me who I should hang out with. You're not my dad and I'm not 7.
2. You're implying no man would hang out with me unless he gets to fuck me
3. You're implying that even if he wants to fuck me, I have no self control and will fuck him just because
So yeah, it's all over disrespectful. I'm sorry.

>What you're telling me is that you see no reason for a man to stick around me unless he gets to put his cock in me

You're going to want to sit down for this one

Yeah. That's my point.
I don't want to have a boyfriend who thinks I have no worth beside my pussy.

"it's all around disrespectful"
calls me a microwaved hamster top kek
Kid, I'm a grown man in a happy relationship of 3 years, been married for two. Me and my wife have alot of respect for each other. If she asks me not to hang out with a girl I won't, if I ask her not to hang out with a guy she won't. We're not telling each other what to do, hmwe're asking each other if the other one doesn't mind. It's called having respect for your partners feelings. 99% of guys who hang out with you (especially one on one) want to fuck you, period. If you can't understand that you're more immature than I thought.

If you can't trust her when she's being open and honest, how can you trust her not to lie? Work on those trust issues, nigga. You won't keep a girl for long with attitude.

t. someone with trust issues

This.
She definitely is being open now that I read some things in OP's post more clearly. Definitely work on trust the issues OP. Trust me ( the irony) I got screwed over by women before. It seems like she will respect your feelings and if she does she's worth the relationship.

Kek. You clearly don't realize that 99% of your male friends want to stick their dick in you. Dumb cunt.

By containing your spaghetti and not attempting to forbid her from talking to other guys. I get why you'd want to but girls in general don't like to feel as though you're controlling them or limiting what they do, as demonstrated by some of the replies in this thread.

Showing teeth over this issue is going to turn her off you. It might happen slowly, but she will become increasingly annoyed that you said she couldn't hang out with guys because, to her, it sounds like you're saying you don't trust her.

There's also a little bit of truth to her text. She's put you in a position where you either ruin the relationship dynamic by asking her not to hang out with guys or by allowing her to do it. If you allow her to do it now you aren't allowed to come back later and disallow it or she'll fling this "opportunity" she gave you to ask her to stop back in your face.

They've been dating for 2 months. Why would you trust her? Why would she expect to be trusted?

The bitch is a hoe. Pump her and dump her. She's of no other use.

In a happy relationship for 8 years.
Never asked my boyfriend to not hang out with his friends, same for him. We agreed to not see exes and stuff, and that was it.
Unless there's legit indication that a guy wants to do me (which has happened before, and I dropped them myself without me asking) I'm not going to stop talking to someone just because he's a guy. Most of my male friends are in long term relationships or married, even. Thinking they've been my friends for 20 years because they secretly want to do me since childhood is funny.
If my boyfriend asked me to stop talking to someone in particular and he had reasons to, I would. If he asked me to stop talking to other men in general, I'd be deeply disappointed and consider breaking up.

Honestly, why does an adult in a committed relationship need to keep single friends of the opposite sex? I'd rather my girlfriend didn't hang out alone with guys, and I feel it's inappropriate myself to hang out alone with girls and I stay mindful of the situations I find myself in/agree to.

I can understand group dynamics and work friendships, but in any other respect there's almost always some romantic subtext even if one party doesn't see it (usually the girl). Trust isn't an infinite resource and yes you should have faith in your partner, but they're doing you wrong by constantly invoking that trust.

At the end of the day, a relationship is whatever you want it to be. If you have different boundaries then you're just incompatible. No right or wrong answers.
Two extroverts who are 100% comfortable with it? Sure. But if someone has to be browbeaten into excusing their partner's behavior, that's just wrong, and what's more "insecure" than """controlling"""" your partner is allowing a completely voluntary relationship be a source of discomfort because you're too much of a pussy to be a cliche

I'm sure that the only reason why I have 20/10 year old friendships with men is because they wanted to stick their dicks in me since the beginning, and not because we have common interests, similar sense of humour and just compatible personalities.

>why does an adult in a committed relationship need to keep single friends of the opposite sex?
Because the relationship can end and having more social networking abilities open to you in case of such an eventuality would be helpful.

I can understand why that'd be okay? especially if they're friends since childhood. But new guy friends, especially single ones, but honestly even ones in a relationship too that's still suspect. Ever think your bf didn't tie the knot because he thinks you could cheat on him at any moment? I tried the knot as soon as I new my wife was all for me and not being a child.

*some* might not fantasize about it now. But i guarantee you they have all without exception jacked it to you at least once. Yes, even him.

>why does an adult in a committed relationship need to keep single friends of the opposite sex?
Because they care about them and they have fun together. And cutting off friends just because you are in a relationship is a bad idea, isolating yourself in your relationship means that if something goes wrong you're trapped because you have limited network.

>But new guy friends, especially single ones, but honestly even ones in a relationship too that's still suspect.
I have no problems with that, if they act like friends. If the friendship developed like a normal friendship, they act like normal friends, and never imply in any way that they want to sleep with me, I have no problems with it.
I don't hang out one-on-one with guys in private settings, especially if there's alcohol involved (if there's alcohol involved, not even in public), but mostly out of personal safety. And also out of respect for my boyfriend. If it happens to go study with a male friend, or to go grocery shopping with this dear friend of mine who lives 4 houses down the road, it's fine.

>Ever think your bf didn't tie the knot because he thinks you could cheat on him at any moment?
We didn't tie the knot because I'm still studying and if we got married I'd lose my scholarship because with his income I'd make far too much to be eligible for one.
I'm graduating debt free from my 6 year program in July, and I already have a 100k$/year job waiting for me. Then we're getting married.

Listen. I know you don't know me but you have to stop that. Don't marry him. Marry me. I'll love you more than he ever could.

Oh you convinced me. Brb, dumping millionaire boyfriend who I dated for 8 years to date a NEET from Jow Forums.

Chick here. I'm flirted with a solid 60% of the time I go out without my boyfriend around. Some of them are friends and acquaintances, some of them are total strangers. Some of them are better at it than others, some of them are quite charming and attractive. Not all of them are men. Not all of them are the men or women you'd suspect to be flirtatious, either.

As a chick, I get annoyed by men who set ground rules on socializing because they just don't understand that cheating isn't something you can just prevent by making rules. Cheating is just the breaking of rules, so if you make more rules to prevent cheating, there's cognitive dissonance there. Nothing protects you from cheating, that's what sucks about it. The truth is the more rules you have, the weaker you are inside, and the easier you are to manipulate. A cheater sees these rules as ways to trap you in a gaslight scenario. You'll only strangle yourself in your own web.

I have no intention of cheating, never have, never will, but you have to understand that cheating comes from a lack of character, empathy, or sound decision-making. No rules, barriers, or sob stories about your dating life will stop the person from being retarded or unethical.

The point is, I hang out and befriend who I want. A man that makes a rule like that is not a man worth my time. A man who needs extra rules is insecure and weak.

Thank you. You wont regret this. I'll make a cot for you on the floor of my parents basement. I'll take great care of you and love you forever. When can we have sex?

I would really like to have sex now. I'm a nice guy.

I have to finish a report for my internship, then I'll come fuck you okay?
Just the time to check the grammar and punctuation.

if 10 people came on to me telling me my gf was a whore I'd do the ol' double think too

>2. You're implying no man would hang out with me unless he gets to fuck me
>3. You're implying that even if he wants to fuck me, I have no self control and will fuck him just because
are you an actual retard?

Why? That's literally the implication of a dude who says that I can't have male friends.
If you think I have nothing interesting to offer beside my pussy, and have no character, I'm better off without you.

>You're implying that even if he wants to fuck me, I have no self control and will fuck him just because
Pretty much every single time you have fucked a guy you were purposefully or accidentally manipulated into doing it so no. In a certain sense you do not have self control when it comes to sex.

dwi

he said you don't know how men think. what he's playing as is they're what you call "snakes in the grass". he doesn't trust them and thinks you're naive if you think they're just harmless fun friends

>Pretty much every single time you have fucked a guy you were purposefully or accidentally manipulated into doing it so no.
I fucked one guy in my life, my boyfriend. We were together for a little over a year when I lost my virginity.
Guess that it was a pretty long mind fuckery but it turned out fine, we're getting married in 8 months after being together for 8 years.

Well guess what? Your boyfriend manipulated you into fucking him.

Then he's implying that I have no character and self control, and will fuck those guys.

Even if I'm so naive and for some reason didn't realise they all wanted to do me, I still wouldn't cheat because I don't want to fuck them and I have character. So no problem.

Yeah. I'm sure he never loved me and cared for me, and the hot guy with a million sitting in his bank account hangs around me just because I'm the only pussy he can fuck.
That's the reason why he proposed, and why we're getting married in a year. Just for sex.
It's not like a I'd want to fuck a hot guy who I love a bunch at all, anyway.

Fucking retards.

>Then he's implying that I have no character and self control
You are a woman. You literally cannot have either. Again, every time you have had sex you were manipulated into arousal. Self-control among women when it comes to reproduction is a myth, yoi don't have any. All that needs to happen is the guy you're with has to push the right emotional triggers.

Kek. I'm sorry, I didn't realise I was talking to someone who got his understanding of women off r/TheRedPill. My bad for wasting my time.
I'll go to sleep.

Well he definitely didn't pick you for your smarts.

so you're implying you're the personification of character and self control?

He's literally describing how female arousal works. You need to get worked up by a guy. Unlike guys you dont just wake up horny and stay that way 24/7.

don't you find the concern for you endearing? I know I would.

honestly I would be even more apprehensive about a guy you had been friends with from childhood. How could I compete with that?

I can't stand that women get so much attention and that if I ever tried to flirt with a woman I would just be adding to the problem. How do I cope with this? every time women talk about it I get anxiety.

> what's more "insecure" than """controlling"""" your partner is allowing a completely voluntary relationship be a source of discomfort because you're too much of a pussy to be a cliche

this is an interesting point, if I understand it correctly.

Say you allow your girlfriend to see guy friends with no hard feelings. This can be interpreted as weakness and unwillingness to assert your role as the dominant man in her life. Basically, you give her freedom with no oversight; she will not feel that you are a man capable of protecting her since by surrendering power, you also surrender responsibility. This allows her total control of her life without a need to consider you.

Say, instead, you forbid her to see guy friends. This can be interpreted as insecurity and lack of respect and trust for her. A need for control signals fear and aggressiveness against an imagined threat and implies your awareness of reasons (real or not) for her to be unfaithful towards you.

What do you do to avoid either of these scenarios?

Subjective case by case. You'd have to know your partner a bit more than what the OP gave us

Could you give a general example of when you should forbid and when you should allow her the freedom of meeting with guy friends?

This is why I come to Jow Forums, for these funny ass posts. Thank you.
Also, that makes sense I guess. Now that you cleared things up your overall argument seems valid, and the only way to explain our differences in relationships are that everyone has a different way of doing things in there relationship. Therefore whatever works for them is best. Also congratulations, and it especially makes sense now why you won't cheat on your boyfriend, Because HES A FREAKING MILLIONARE. If he was a broke night making less than you, you never would've stayed as long as you have.
>TopKek just joshing u harambe.

Btw that'd be so fukt if your bf walked in inconveniently and saw this one post you wrote lmao.

Gotteem

Gotteeem

You honestly destroyed your entire argument in one post. If you've only had sex with one guy you DEFINITELY wouldn't know when a guy just wants to get in your pants. Did he buy that virginity of yours with that million dollar bank account btw? Bet that had a big role in it.

kek

>-this is the bad part... when we first became a thing I had random people hitting me up over snap and some of my friends telling me she was basically a hoe. But I decided not to believe them...
Why people aren't adressing this is weird to me, because this is a really important part of the story.
We all know women are suckers for social validation and will do everything to climb that status ladder higher, even moreso than most men, because females date up and males date down (GENERALLY SPEAKING) and they want the best genetics and traits nature can provide for their eggs.
The fact you're getting warned by peers who have seen & experienced her social behavior, and condenm her to be an unhealthy individual for whatever reason (she's a slut, whore, uses males for money) shoud raise alarm bells for you.
It doesn't have to be exactly true but if there are multiple people telling you this you should be very, very cautious.
Basically, nature, and by proxy your species' social circle is telling you to get out of this relationship so you can focus on 'being yourself' (using your genetics and inherited traits to benefit yourself instead of someone else who might not deserve it in their eyes).
Examine for yourself honestly this relationship.
Treat the relationship like you're a 3rd party accountant with the best interest for the company in mind, but refuses to let the employees suffer for it.
Make up the checks and balances, have it double checked by another party(s) and ask your accountant if this business is still profitable.

2/2

I should add, I personally dislike this view of relationships and don't think it's healthy for a long term one, since it's built on trust and communication.
But the truth is we live in 2019 with social media and governments practicing psychic driving on the populus, so better take some precautions if you want to build something for yourself in this life.

I guess that's the other and only one side of the story, but I didn't really see it mentioned in this thread to the extent I did in my post.
Godspeed, OP. Don't get assfucked.

She’s already cheating on you.

Kek, sure.

No, I'm implying I'm capable of having enough self control and character to not cheat on my boyfriend. Which, admittedly, doesn't even take that much self control and character.

He's oversimplifying it to a ridiculous degree.
While women have a stronger emotional component when it comes to sexual arousal, they're capable of being aroused by the way a man looks alone, to be aroused because of a particular moment on their hormonal period, or just because they're made that way. Also implying that we need to be talked into sex is kind of wrong anyway - if a woman has strong feelings for you, she will want to sleep with you.
Women arousal is incredibly more complex than "you need to be manipulated to want to suck dick".

It's not concern for me, he's not afraid I might suffer. It is insecurity that he projects on me, and concern for himself because he doesn't want to be cheated on.

By being my boyfriend? My boyfriend is, by far, the best friend I have on earth and the person I feel the strongest connection (emotionally and intellectually) with.
I've known people since I was born, and I'm much closer to my boyfriend than any of them. It's ridiculous to think that "have been around them for a lot of time" means that you're close.

I haven't cheated on him when he was broke either, I met him when he was 20 and I was 17. Cheating on him now would be twice as dumb.

Kek, he reads my posts on Jow Forums all the time.

It doesn't really take a genius to understand when a guy wants you to suck his dick, user.
Even if I fucked just one guy, I have some level of understanding of how attraction and lust work.
He was a broke college student when we met, when I was 18 I worked for a year and I paid for all our dates. I was already fucking him.

Just bail This one is too much hassle

>I have some level of understanding of how attraction and lust work.
Clearly you dont, otherwise this thread wouldn't exist.
Or you actually do, and you're lying to yourself (and anons here) by saying this outcome isn't exactly what you wanted in the first place.

But what do I know, right!

I used to get girls to suck my dick all the time.

What the fuck are you even talking about?
I'm not OP, this thread would exist without me.
I understand that some men might be attracted to me and feel lust for me, I can recognise the signs. It's not that incredibly hard.
I doubt that a married man who has been my friend for 20 years is my friend because he wants to get in my pants. He might find me attractive, but that's not the same as basing a friendship off the fact you find someone hot or even feeling strong lust for someone.

That's good for you, I'm sure your mom and dad are very proud and keep photos of it on the living room to show guests and brag about it.

>I'm not OP
My bad

>No, I'm implying I'm capable of having enough self control and character to not cheat on my boyfriend. Which, admittedly, doesn't even take that much self control and character.
I mean if your boyfriend had girl friends who'd jump on his dick in a heartbeat if given the chance, would you gladly let him hang out one on one with them? that's what I meant with snakes in the grass.

We're on the same page with this kind of stuff. No problem with opposite gender friends as long as they act friendly, but we drop any friend who flirts with us in any manner (from friendly sexual banter to anything over that).
He doesn't give any girl the chance to jump on his dick, and any girl who tries gets dropped. Same for me with my male friends.
We agree that no alcohol or private places should be involved when hanging out with opposite gender friends one on one.
He doesn't like many girls, has maybe 2 or 3 female friends from college. I have no problem with him hanging out with them.

>cheating on him now would be twice as dumb
Of course, the dude is a millionaire.

Tell her that it's not okay. If you want this relationship to have even the slightest chance of success, you need to be firm here. You have heard from so many people that she's a slut and wants you for the money, the only way to learn to trust her is if she's willing to change things for you.

You know damn well what will happen if you let her do this. She will be out with guys, sometimes one on one, and you will worry every minute. She may or may not fuck them, or blow them, or kiss them, but you will never know for sure.

Don't disrespect yourself; your feelings are just as important as hers. If she wants to break up over your desire to control her, then let her go. If she isn't willing to work for a relationship, neither should you.

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>Of course, the dude is a millionaire.
And pretty attractive, good in bed, interesting and my best friend in the whole world. Plus I honestly love him a lot.
I can't do any better.

>tfw my friends made fun of me for dating the fat nerd guy when I was 17

Hey OP here. So first off thanks everyone for all the feedback I got. We ended up resolving this whole thing. She sent me a whole damn book but I'll just give you the important part she said

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Here is part of my response

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Yeah, but no matter what she's still going to fuck the other dude. Believe me.

There's a million different ways to cope with this scenario, you'll have to be more specific in your question.

>This can be interpreted as insecurity and lack of respect and trust for her. A need for control signals fear and aggressiveness against an imagined threat and implies your awareness of reasons (real or not) for her to be unfaithful towards you.

Yeah, it "can" be interpreted that way, usually by a guilty conscience. If you ask your girlfriend not to do a thing, and you're willing to agree to not do that thing either, what's the problem? If she says no, you break up. If she says yes but betrays your trust, break up. No use being paranoid about it, make your expectations clear. Like I said, the only insecure move is to let a 100% voluntary relation walk all over you. I'm just so fucking tired of hearing that "dude ur insecure!!!" shit over and over and over again on this board.

Like I said, it's a two-way rule, what's the problem? You say rules and barriers are weakness and insecurity, but I follow the same rule myself and have on more than one occasion invoked that rule to politely turn down 1on1 female encounters that I perceive as flirty. It's not even a rule really, neither my girlfriend nor myself have ever had to verbalise it, it's just implicitly understood because we have the same boundaries.

I agree that no rules are going to contain someone who wants to cheat, but it does remove a huge aspect of plausible deniability. It would be far easier to catch a cheater early on if you were to set a groundrule about male/female company than in a relationship like yours. I've lost track of how many threads there have been on here where the OP is anxious about their girlfriend's abusing their trust, and if they just grew a pair and stopped worrying about being though of as "controlling" (their boundaries are the same, whether they verbalize them or not), they'd be able to press the issue, break up, and get on with their lives.

Your response makes you seem like a psycho, she’s probably going to leave you for someone more sane and secure..

Relationship seems toxic

It's a test. You need to display that you are so confident and secure in your ability to maintain her interest, as well as receive interest from other women, that you could not give a fuck if she hangs with other dudes. Because if she cheats, you're out and you'll rebound with some other chick.

Simple:
Hang out with other girls.

If she doesnt like it then she will empathize with your own feelings.

If she fucks the other boys you fuck other girls.

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Who has time for these stupid games, I guess it's an evolutionary thing but it's awful and women should stop doing it

Here's what I would say if I was in a good mood:
>"You do you and you'll find out what I think of it afterwards."
Then if she did it I would just laugh at her and verbally abuse the shit out of her not really caring if she stays or goes. Hopefully she'd cry or take a swing at me so I could make fun of her even worse. If she didn't, I would legitimately show her respect and elevate her and explain to her how much I respect her judgment and ability to make good decisions. If I was in a bad mood or just felt like fighting I'd bait her into a fight and just say
>"Lol..."
And then wait for the response. You have to recognize when a chick is trying to fuck with you and you NEVER let them fuck with you. You regulate the shit out of them, some of them need it more than others, and if they have a problem with it I will gladly play chicken with them. Worst case you go "oops that sucks thanks for releasing me back in the wild to sleep with other chicks" and you ghost them.

This.

It's the same winning solution to every shit test: tell her "no problem," let everything roll off of you, then the next time you have her in bed you hatefuck the shit out of her. Take it all out on her ass, let her know she's a slutty worthless excuse for a woman who deserves to be used like a cumrag and leave her in a broken pile on the sheets.

Even if that doesn't teach the lesson, you'll feel better about everything.

If it ever came up where I am in a situation that she is asking to hang out with guys, it's already fucking over. A girl who loves and respects me has no need to just hang out with guys, limited context. So, again, shut up. Your boyfriend is a bitch.

Last 2 girls I dated had this issue. Both cheated on me with guys they said were “just friends”. No guys want to be “friends”, my current gf was my “friend” at one point and I didn’t care that she was dating some dude in another state. Given that we never did anything while they dated, we mainly cuddled, smoked/drank, and played video games together. The closer she gets with another guy, the farther she leaves you behind.

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