I hope that someone can help me with this...

I hope that someone can help me with this. I need a very honest opinion about a question I’ve been asking myself for months.

I wear a very vintage style, not the cute, pin-up one which is often portrayed in Medias, but a really historically accurate look from the 40's.

I've never really thought too much about it before, it was just a fun way to prolong my interest in this time period to me. But recently, a friend of mine confessed that he uses to have very negative and specific opinion back when he first saw me,just because of my look.

I asked him if it was one of the usual cliché insults like “oh she must be boring/ conceited” or she is a “goody two-shoes/ nerd /weirdo”.
But then he made a face, and told me in a polite way that it was actually worse than that.

He then promptly refused to tell me more, and still refuses to talk about it nowadays. As an "excuse" he told me that he wasn't the only one who thought like him, inside and outside of my social circle.

I’m wondering what have I been missing all this time?

I'm ok with the idea of someone having bad assumptions about me because of my style. People make presumptions about other people all the time, and I think that it's totally normal and fine as long as you stay neutral.

Although, I’m still very curious about the exact nature of those presuppositions. Was it about my personality, standard of living, political orientation, sexual orientation, etc…?

Do you guys might have some idea what could it be?

( I’m very sorry about all the english mistakes )

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Can I have a few examples oc the outfits?

I am curious and have a dfew opinions but i wanna hold judgement until i see whqtyou wear. (They dont have to be your picks, models are more than enough)

How do you dress? Like your pic related? They're no friends if they're so rude, and if you pull it off well in your estimation, it's entirely possible that it's envy.

dressing in super accurate clothing from a past time period could make you look like an out of touch, autistic weirdo
especially since most normies dress to conform, not to stand out

It's this type of clothes. ( I also do my hair and make up that way, I don't know if it's important )

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Them shoulderpads look sexy..

Well, being an outlier in something so visible like fashion might seem to offset people basically because it is "different". Dont think of being out of fashion clothes, think of them just as simply different.

About which assumptions it brings to me, it does feel like you might be reserved and prudish since old clothes=>old people=>prude should be a quite common logic. You might be 4eminding them of their grndmother for example from their pictures and do you really want to hang out with your grammy as a friend?

They probably assumed you were autistic. And they're probably right. If you care about what others think, then start wearing normal clothes. If you don't, then keep looking like a complete weirdo because it's what you like to wear.

Personally, I think you'd be best off with a middle ground where you dress normally/fashionably with accessories, accents, or patterns that call back to your preferred time period.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. People have all kinds of weird associations for no reason with certain styles.

Well, I don't think that it's envy, this friend is some sort of popular "arty" guy, I know it sounds bad but he is trully a nice person, I don't really feel like he would have any interest to gain by lying to me.

yes, i think that's this whole " I don't want to hand out with my grandma" is probably part of the good answer, but he did that he made it sounds like something even worst. Do you think that he was exaggerating ?

Possibly, follow up question. Where are you from?

This is imporant cause ww2 is a thing.

That was actually the "assumptions" that I was the most afraid about. This whole episode happened in Spain. In what way do you think that people might associate me to ww2 ?

Oh yeah, it might definitely be about Franco and fascism. Even withthis happening in Spain, if you are german or italian or qnother axis power it would be a multiplying effect. Are you form N axis power country?

>Personally, I think you'd be best off with a middle ground where you dress normally/fashionably with accessories, accents, or patterns that call back to your preferred time period.
this desu, while boring pure conformist fashion sucks, you should at least somewhat appropriately for your surroundings

a guy who wears period-authentic 40s suits all the time would be looked at as a weirdo as well

care to post an outfit pic btw? you could also ask about this on /fa/

That's was very eye opening. I'm from France, I never assumed that I would be associated to fascism because of my origins ( half of my family are Sephardi Jews ). Also, my interest in the time period started because of reaserchs about the resistance.

I just realized now that while I was too buzy being in my own little world, thinking about only one part of the ww2 history, people might not really understand it in that way. That was very dumb of me.

To me, the most interesting part about this, is that nobody ever talked to me about this problem. I use to think that it was because nobody cared but maybe they just didn't dared to ...

Now I'm wondering, do you think that this style of clothes will be more appropriated in other part of the world ? At this point wearing something else that vintage clothes feels very weird and wrong to me ( just like wearing a costume ). Do you think I should try to wear a more mid 50's style ?

Can't you just tone it down a bit, picking the elements of 40s fashion that wouldn't stand out too much in a modern context?
I knew a girl who clearly took inspiration from interwar fashion but didn't make it look like a costume. She looked great and was quite popular afaik.

Nobody talked to you about it because they probably thought you were insane and maybe a hitler white supremecist person. The picture you posted of what you basically wear, its in ‘costume’ territory and not ‘outfit’. Its like seeing a man walking around in a renaissance costume doing everyday things. Would you go up and tell him it looks strange?

There are ways to dress vintage without looking like a costume. You can curl your hair like vintage style, but wearing the period dresses is too much. You can wear the period dress maybe, but dont put a beret on or make your hair into a vintage style. I’d say 70s clothing is the easiest thing to pull off nowaday without looking weird, if you want to go period.

>Do you guys might have some idea what could it be?
No. We know nothing about you. We have no clue what you look like or what your friends are like. All this speculation is entirely useless. Who gives a shit what people assume about you. Wear what you want and stop worrying about it.

Keep in mind that the fedora and trench coat are literally the most iconic fashion of that period...

437 user here,

Well as long as you stick to any specific time era, you will get weird responses. They might even be unconscious responses, which means for people who already saw you in your 40s outfit thats a decision already made. You wont change their mind by wearing normie clothes at this point .


I understand you like to wear vintage clothes but until you reachs 60s or 70s you will get unusual responses, hell as long you are dedicated era fashionista it doesnt even matter which dedicated era it is. The issue is simply you are dedicated in a thing other people arent, it will cause friction.

But do tell mire user, on specific weird encounters you had about clothes please, i am awfully interested

Probably that you were a racist or white supremacists, walking around like a lady from those days. I bet it has something to do with race or politics.

Ben Askren is that you ?
You finally start looking to your self since you join UFC

You’re friend sounds like an asshole.

I think you are right, wearing 60s and 70s type of clothes are a much safer choice. I'm ok with being seen as a weirdo but people thinking that I'm a nazi makes me sick...

>But do tell mire user, on specific weird encounters you had about clothes please, i am awfully interested

well I think people are just very verbal about my clothes,I guess it's probably the same for all the people wearing alternative fashion though.
I know that it sound weird, but this style is strangelly sexualised by some people ( i don't know why, they can't even see my kees ! ) and I get catcalled quite a lot . I don't really get attention from people my age ( I'm 22 ), but fifty or sixty years old creepy old guy really love my style. They start talking to me about fashion as an "ice-breaker". One time I was running as fast as I could because I was late, and some guy started running alongside to me, and tried talking to me as we were both running, I tried to tell him to stop, but he kept on running, I was in a very public space so I didn't felt too thretened. ( Nobody did anything to stop him though ). He was quite old so after 3 minutes of me running as fast as I could, he just stopped to rest and started shooting in the street that I was an ungrateful bitch ...That's probably the weirdest one...
People also touch my hair and my clothes without my authorisation sometimes, it's fine when they are kids but adults also do that sometimes, especially in public transport.

I don't want to make it sound like I'm complaigning though, It's been 5 years that I'm wearing this type of clothes and the extreme majority of people are really neutral about it.

Also, all those "annoying" things seems so unimortant now, in comparison of people thinking that I'm a white supremacist or a nazi... I'm still quite shoked about this realization desu.

Feels like the fashion-equivalent of a useless medieval poetry/gender degree.

Sure, an interesting time, culture, and subject. It was once the center of that piece of culture. During that time. But it is now outside of established norms. Fuck conformity, sure. But niche habits and such have their consequences.

Cloaks and shit are cool, but if people started walking around in them again most people would be like wtf, why?

Chances are a modern post-40's style of fashion exists and will accomplish the same aesthetic while also silencing the dissenting opinions of your 'friends.'

Lol thats a weird story. I guess for 50 60 year old dudes you will be wearing the stuff who they had sexual thoughts about. A 60 year old entering teens back in 60s would have had 40s-50 era women to fantasize?

Like i said before though, for a thing as prominently up front like fashion, being different will make you stick out. And humans have a tendency to discriminate those who ard different. Even in small stuff like which kind of metal music you listen to is cause of friction between metal fans.

Also if you are in Paris and if i see you dont be alarmed when i say hi :) Just here for the weekend, will be gone Monday anyway..

I think the biggest thing is that to many people who don't know you, you are making yourself into a caricature. They see that you look like a forties woman before noticing anything at all about you. Is that really what you want?

You get this with any more extreme style, but yes dressing up specifically to match a decade is definitely odd to me. I would not jump to conclusions about racism or anything like that but it does scream (intense) conservatism to me, like wanting to look like a woman "from back when women were women". In most any conservative female community there's a trend of priding themselves on strictly wearing dresses, not going out without full hair and make up and so on. I would also wonder if you were intensely religious.

Also you make yourself stand out a lot, you take position in a big way, implicitly you show you have no fucks to give about what people might think about it/you. That's not a bad thing but if you're

I always assumed that your fantasies changed as your grew older, but I guess you are right, the teenage period is such an important moment in your development that it must have an impact on your whole life, so it's probably the same when it comes to sexual thought. ( That's quite a morbid idea to have, but I just realize now that in 10-15 years , they will probably be too old to do all those creepy stuff. )

> if you are in Paris and if i see you dont be alarmed when i say hi :)

That would be a very crazy and funny coincidence. I swear that I won't be alarmed ! I hope that you will have a nice time in Paris, even if France is currently quite a mess !

>Even in small stuff like which kind of metal music you listen to is cause of friction between metal fans.

I know that it's very offtopic, but now I kind of want to know what are the different groups of metal fans ?

Fantasies change, but they do more like evolve dont they? You can still trace them to a core. People who are into blondes don't change to liking brunettes in a quick way. And also Oedipus complex is a real fucking thing,

Even in fetishes once you find your thing, you dive deeper into it instead of saying "i had my fun, now i will do something else".

>about metal

Btw there are tons of metal subgenres, death metal, thrash metal, nu metal, heavy metal even christian metal! And they all believe their subgenre is the best one and how metal should be performed.

>France is currently quite a mess!

Oh i dont know i am liking here quite a lot, Paris is fun to walk around and drink coffees in random cafes. Been here for like a week though so kind of bored, any suggestions for a good sunday outing? I have come to paris before so done all the main tourist traps already.

>They see that you look like a forties woman before noticing anything at all about you. Is that really what you want

That's the big question...I use to not care at all but now, after having this whole discution, I don't really know anymore.
Sometimes, having an alternative fashion style can be use as some sort of filter, because you only attract people that are more interested about your personality than just your look ( that what I use to think about my style ). I probably missed some friendship opportunity because I might have looked like a highly conservative ( or maybe even worst ) person to them, I would lie if I said that I'm ok with this. I realilze that I can't really escape this problem if I don't change my style a little ( or a lot ? ).

> wanting to look like a woman "from back when women were women"

This is very interesting. To me, the whole 40's look is the direct translation of the change of the role of women because of the war. The fabrics are limited because of war, it's very practical. It conveys a very masculine feeling ( shoulder padds and military inspiration )
It represents to me a time period where women prooved that they were capable of contributing to the war effort and more importantly have jobs.

On the contrary, the highly femine style from the 50's ( corset and bust and hip padding to accentuate the thin waist ) are a consequence of people trying to forget about war and moove on. Everything needed to come back to it's "noramal" place : men at work and women as housewife.

I though that people might perceived this difference but maybe they don't really have this lecture of fashion history, You seem to say that I just look like I'm referencing to the past in general, i think that it's maybe the truth that I wanted so hard to ignore

> in fetishes once you find your thing, you dive deeper into it instead of saying "i had my fun, now i will do something else".

Yes, I think that you are right about that. I don't know if we should find that weird or is it just a natural part of a human being...

> Oedipus complex is a real fucking thing

I would like to hear your point of view about Oedipus complex. I don't know anything about psychology, but this concept always felt like an easy explaination to a lot of various problem.

>about metal
I will probably asked a very stupid question but how can people argue about the way you should perform ? Is it not something that should be decided by the band and not by which type of subgenres the band belongs to ?
You seem like you are more of a middle ground kind of person who enjoys different type of metal, but I might be wrong


> about Paris

I don't really know you taste so I will just give a messy selection of places that I really like:

You might want to take a look at the cupola of the Printemps. I don't know if you hate as much as I do going inside malls but I swear that it's really worth it.
The inside of the "Bibliothèque nationale de France" is also really cool.

Also, if you go to the "29 avenue Rapp" you will see one of the most original building in Paris.

And If you are looking for a nice place to walk around there is La Cité Fleurie, it's private but you can easily sneak in if you are patient and wait for someone to open the gait. It's a place full of art workshop,( some very famous artists worked there: Gauguin, Modigliani, ...)
It's really peaceful and beautiful.

I also really like to walk around in" la petite ceinture", it's an abandonned railroad. it's supposed to be close ( so not really legal ) but it's easy to go there. It gives you a very unique and different point of view of Paris. You might like it you enjoy abandoned place, you do need some good shoes and a flashlight though.

Hope you will find something nice to do

>fetishes
I think it has something to do with internet, since you can just consume media for your current fetish in such a quick manner that in order to get more of the kick you just newer and more intense content. I mean even hookup culture contributes to this, when vanilla sex gets easier to get it becomes well .. vanilla so you go for harder stuff.

>Oedipus complex
It is indeed a cop out, even i used it an easy to go concept of "liking people who were around when you were growing up". There is even a biological part to to this, for example (i know this is a bit unrelated but stay with me) siblings seperated at birth seem to be attracted to each other sexually. There are many stories of lost siblings finding out they are related, normally when grown up in a healthy family enviorement these urges dont manifest at all. But they are still there , just suppressed.

>about metal
Well, a better and prominent way of explaining this will be religion instead of metal. Even in christian faith, they all agree christ was a special person but anything after that is up for debate and contention. Even small things such as the ebst way to pray, i mean even when it is the same god people can argue about which prayer you should say. In an even more subjective thing such as music taste, it is even easier to argue which note sounds better in what instrument and such..

>middle ground kind of person
Wow you got me right user. I even argued with my friend today when he asked me what food we should get and i just told him i was fine with anything, didnt even do it as a trap was literally fine with anything. He sort of scoffed at me i wasnt easy going and was just trouble. Amd this comes after last week when a belgian friend told me i was too nice and i should be more of a dick who just goes for what he wants.

This post is becoming too long so pt 2 coming soon.

>about Paris

Thanks for the suggestions user. They all seem related to art and aesthetics, which i enjoy but dont really know much about if i have to be honest. I just am not trained for it and didn't learn about arts proper in my life.

Even by name drops you personally seem super interested in arts. Which is not a surprise considering you do actually practice certain era fashion.

I think i have been Printempts when a friend was showing me around. But will check it out regardless. And you seem like the person who likes to sneak into places where they arent supposed to be. And considering your fashion choice it might explain the weird wibes you got from people. I am not really like that so would need a guide for those if i have to be honest since i own the school of "just walking in a city aimlessly", i just enjoy walking through random streets if i have to be honest.

So fi you are not going to be my guide, thats a skip on the "illegally entering places" plan by me. But thanks for the input and everything, i will consider them regardless. And you should question your friends about why they trouble with your fashion choice but also be able to not give a rats ass cause well it is your choice.

I might have been dropping some contact info here, but i wont. Each of us should make their own way i guess, so good luck user with your 40s era clothing and enjoy your life..

>Oedipus complex
I didn't know that thing about siblings attraction, that's crazy !

>middle ground kind of person
That wasn't really nice to scoff at you for something like that, people who are very difficult with food are annoying anyway! But, I do kind of agree with your belgian friend, I don't know the context of his comment though. It's not a problem in itself ( quite the contrary actually ) but there is a high risk of people using it against you. " Take it easy, dude, but take it ! "

>Paris
You got me, I like everything related to art and history.

> I just am not trained for it and didn't learn about arts proper in my life

I also don't have any training in arts too. You shouldn't think too much about not having any training. So many elitist prick try to make arts into something inaccessible.

>Paris
I totally understand that you don't want to sneak in forbidden place when it's not a city that you know. Hope that you will have a good last day in Paris !

That was a very interesting conversation and I have lot of things to think about now, thank you for all the advices.
Good luck with your life too user, you probably have your own problems to deal with!

>Oedipus complex
Yeah it is insane, just google "long lost siblings turned out lovers" and you will find some disturbing real life examples.

>art and history
I guess you are right, most things i am good at in my life i self thought anyway. I can certainly just reading about art and learn what i need to.

>paris
The stuff you said sure sound fun user, but i dont even speak the language so sneaking around in a place i cant talk to anybody and also might like to return someday would be weird.

>middle ground kind of person
"Take it easy dude, but take it" i like that quote. Also people have been using it against me you are right and it has been biting me in the ass a few too many times recently. Need to find out how reign it in a bit while not being a dick i guess.

Thanks for the kind wishes user, i do have my own problems but i am trying to sort them out one by one..

>not leaving contact info
Fuck it i will do it anyway, if you want to show around or just drink coffee with one goofball who is a bit too much of a pushover for one day here is my discord. Even if you axe murder me to harvest my organs, i will die knowing i got killed by somebody wearing something fashionable..

pizza-g#5827

I actually knew a girl like that in HS. She bothered me because of how often she was looking into her pocket mirror, doing makeup and adjusting hairs. I was a judgmental kid, but it was fucking ridiculous