>be me 15, google: "I'm 15 and never had a girlfriend" read, remember, "This is my year" >be me 16, google: "I'm 16 and never had a girlfriend" read, remember, "This is my year" >be me 17, google: "I'm 17 and never had a girlfriend" read, remember, "This is my year" >be me 18, google: "I'm 18 and never had a girlfriend" read, remember, "This is my year" >be me 19, make this thread.
Like what is actually wrong with me? In these 4 years I have improved VASTLY in every aspect. Found a nice hairstyle, style, learned to be more calm and collected, learned to be more stoic, got friends, got female friends, hang out with friends at least twice a week, got more confidence, fixed my underweight problem more or less...
I'm shooting in the dark and every time I manage to shoot further but I can't see the target, I don't know if it's there, if it exists.
>be you 15, google, "why cant I play guitar" >Be you, 19, ITT never even picked up a guitar
You’re on track user. I didn’t lose mine until my 21st, but don’t give up. How good are you at reading body language/facial expressions?
Also be tall and white since that's all women care about.
I actually wanted to learn how to play it but settled for bass. What's the point of your reply? I I literally said that I'm improved a lot, like a lot. I'm really good at those, I can reed between the lines and see what the person really thinks all the time.... except when it comes to romance hints because I overthink it.
Can be white, can't be tall
One of the two is good. Having neither is a death sentence though, depending on where you live. Then you have to spend years of your life "working on yourself" and being amazing in every possible way before women even notice you. As you are now, you'll struggle a bit, but not as much.
I'm not seeing any results either way.
>Grug no ask cavewoman to date >Grug no have girlfriend Dumbass
Exact same thing for me OP. Except mine goes all the way up to age 22.
Improved myself every year. Changed for the better every year. Become more confident and well rounded every year. Still, every year, can't even get close to even a first date or a kiss.
I don't make it to the phase where I can ask out. I become a friend quick. I'm getting there too. Sometimes it feels like a waste of time.
I don't know if it's more or less humane to tell you to give up or keep trying. I don't know you so I don't know what could be wrong. Other than being short or non white since those two things are more important than they've ever been. Then you have "personality" which, I have learned, basically means kissing her ass and pleasing her to no end without ever having needs of her own that you want fulfilled, or else you're "entitled".
I'm tall and white. ( here)
I wanted to start lifting weights at 17, took until 24 to get started
>be more calm and collected, learned to be more stoic Girl's don't want that, they want a chad that is ready to exuberate and party up at a moment's notice, somebody that will add danger and fun. Boring guys don't have a chance.
> I don't make it to the phase where I can ask out. That's where you're wrong kiddo You don't wait for the relationship to progress to a place where it's "proper" to ask her out. You just go for it. Introduce yourself, make small talk, ask out. If you have a crush on someone right now, ask her out next time you see her; or use text if you have to. > I become a friend quick. I don't see the problem; why can't you ask out a female friend?
None of that implies OP is boring.
Perhaps you're avoiding the real issue. Working out, improving hygiene and fashion sense, being more successful, it can all help you. But it can also turn into coping behavior: Perhaps your problem is just that you don't ask girls out, but instead you blame all kinds of things about yourself to (perhaps unconsciously) avoid the real reason for your lack of gf.
Then why when I made a thread on Jow Forums something like 6 or 7 years ago asking "why can't I get a GF" were all the responses "improve yourself, get fit, wear nicer clothes"? Why did you all lie to me if the answer was simply "ask some girls out"?
Now I'm all these years older and I am on paper as ready as anyone to "get a gf". But I have a crippling fear of rejection cause nobody ever told me I had to ask out girls to get a gf, and now I'm so inexperienced at such an old age that my brain forces me to believe no girl would ever want me
It's hard user. If you get rejected you still have to see that person if you're from the same school/college It just makes it awkward for everybody. And it's an immediate loss of respect from both parties.
I wasn't on Jow Forums back then so I don't know. To be honest there is something to that advice; improving yourself in those ways really will increase your chances when you ask a girl out. But you still need to ask them out.
> But I have a crippling fear of rejection cause nobody ever told me I had to ask out girls to get a gf, and now I'm so inexperienced at such an old age that my brain forces me to believe no girl would ever want me 19 isn't problematically old. I had my first date at 22; and was nervous as fuck as well. I had seen this girl at uni for weeks, never daring to approach her. After trying to force myself multiple times I finally did approach her and got her number. I was too much of a pussy to actually ask her out irl so I did it over text as the result of staring at my phone for literally an hour, afraid to click "send" and deliberating for far too long about the exact wording. We had a date, and afterwards I woke up very nauseous every morning for about a week and was just constantly stressed out. I say that just as a form of encouragement: Despite my total ineptness at this task I still managed to do it; you've been working on yourself for a while now, so if you can only fix this I'm sure you'll have some success soon.
If you’re this afraid of rejection, you are never gonna make it
I'm not denying that it's hard but this is the way that people castrate themselves. The right response is "it sucks but I'll go for it anyway". I still run into a girl who I asked out months ago every week at uni (we had one date before that but she rejected me when I wanted to go on a second date); I still have a huge crush on her; it sucks. I imagine if we had been friends before that it would've been even worse. But I would choose this over not having asked her out. At least I tried. At least I got rejected. That's better than "not even rejected"; and I got some experience in asking out and going on a date, which is nice. Maybe I will do better next time because of it.
I'm not OP. I'm the 22 year old user. It really is problematically old for me to be a kissless dateless virgin.
Besides not being able to I literally don't know when's the right time. Right away is 100% not happening, and I always fuck myself over by taking too long. You wouldn't ask someone out you've been trying to get with for a few months and with whom you already established a casual friendly relationship, you've missed the chance.
i dont have much advice but if it makes you feel any better im in the same boat. I, for a variety of reasons, never even made an effort to get a gf, not that I really had any attention.
>first couple years of high school, general social anxiety and lack of confidence. >other two years, start getting acne worse than 99% of people my age and have no confidence. i could not pursue a girl when i had huge red bubbles of puss all over my face. >enter college, acne is a bit better but not at all gone. dad jewed me into attending a local university instead of going away, all my friends made friends with their roommates and their friends by extension. I never made any good friends because people go to class and then go home. >later in college, acne gets worse again (was always much worse than what most people get) >take accutane during last semester, acne finally clears up, although I have some scarring thats leaves me where I am now, 22 years old, never having asked a girl out, first kiss, etc etc. I am afraid of intimacy, have low self-confidence, and don't feel like I relate to many people. I don't want to play the snowflake card, but it is especially demoralizing when I go through tinder and 95% of the girls either use snapchat filters in all their pictures, have post malone/xxxtentacion as their favorite music, or their bio is some copy and paste bullshit about dogs. I am not like these people
Then refer to what I said about "personality". In 2019, you have to be basically perfect. Don't let PUA types fool you; simply desiring strongly to become a man women want IS a form of supplication. The act of getting to a point where you act like you don't need women, consciously having to be alpha, that requires effort and you're still trying to get laid. Men need women probably more than women need men. That is why men put in work to be attractive but women just show up.
It gets better a bit in your 20s. If you make it to 25KHV then it's the time to kill yourself, there's no chance after that. Good news is looks like you have 6 more years
Do you even want a girlfriend? Like if you did you would probably have one by now, go on with your life fuck girlfirend pressure, if you don't really want one don't get one, but if you are in that awkward social phase just go out and fuck/acquire a girl, i don't get why you would have to improve yourself to find a girl like that makes no sense whatsoever, are you looking for a wife? I don't know much about that since i never had an urge to acquire a wife but since you are obviously looking for one just talk to more girls i'm sure you'll find a match.
>I don't ask girls out >why don't I have a girlfriend
Really makes me think
How many girls did you ask out user?
I really don't want to be mean, but there's your reason and there's nothing you can do about it I'm not saying it's impossible, but most women want to date guys that are taller/ as tall as them
>I actually wanted to learn how to play but settled for bass. this says it all really
I'm not him, but how much of a difference is there between talking to a woman and hitting on one? I have tried to just talk to women all the time to start building any conversation that could reasonably lead to signs that she is interested. But whenever I try to start talking, I get few word, sometimes one words answers, little or no eye contact, and attempts to look distracted, often intentionally pulling out their phone. Obviously since I don't actually have to fear rejection for this I have done it many, many times. Do you think any of these women would go on a date with me even if they had no interest in small talk?
Just relax,you can't force a good thing. Keep improving yourself but also be honest to yourself about what you really want.
honestly this. you've improved so much and yet you're still retarded.
Rang in there buddy,same boat.
>befriending women >why can't I get a girlfriend? Have you tried approaching a woman and telling her of your intentions? it's going to yield better results than just being friends with women, especially when that isn't effective at getting you a woman.
What if I'm 28? How fucked am I?
There are people who ask out their female friend they've known for years. Again, not denying it's hard but it's possible.
Stop making excuses. > i am not like these people You just have to be interested in dating them, so I don't see the problem.
Tall and white is the main demographic of Jow Forums.
Perhaps they are. This kind of self-doubt is why you're not getting anywhere. Just fucking try it. Last time I asked a girl out she behaved kinda like you described but accepted the invitation anyway. Maybe she's not interested, or maybe she's just shy/nervous/socially awkward. Only one way to find out.
I feel like there's one simple answer to every "problem" in this thread: just ask her out regardless of whatever issue you are imagining.
Spend less time on Google and go out and meet women