Is there anything wrong with wanting a girl whose a virgin?

Is there anything wrong with wanting a girl whose a virgin?

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No just understand as time passes, you'll will likely never find one. Have a better chance at winning the lottery

*preparing for the wannabe psychologists of Jow Forums to start talking about how it's actually a sign of insecurity and other copes*

No. There's just something unanswered about it, namely the reason. Reasons are what drive practical choices in life.

Because I'm inexperienced and want the same in a partner.

The advantage of being a man is it's totally okay to date younger. That said, at my current age(25) I know it's impossible.

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What's dissuading you from being with someone who is experienced to any degree?

Because I'm not experienced, and I'd like experience mutual inexperience.

Yes, even the awkwardness.

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>experience mutual inexperience.
That's fair.

I wouldn't get too hung up on it though. I mean, by definition it's something you can only experience exactly one time. After that, both of you are now experienced both with each other and in the view of anyone else in the future. Is literally a single unique experience really worth disqualifying potential relationships?

>Is literally a single unique experience really worth disqualifying potential relationships?
You can make a virgin girl into an experienced girl. You can't make an experienced girl into a virgin girl.

Right, which is why I called it single and unique. There is literally only one time in your life where you'll be able to experience mutual inexperience with someone. It's completely impossible to ever do again.

So, all of this consideration just to chase a single moment? Or to put it another way, does it really matter if you disqualify yourself from that single moment and just get on with someone else?

Scarcity, that's about it. It will be exceptionally difficult to find a girl who is both a virgin AND thinks YOU are special enough to give her virginity away to.

That's why I suggest you give up on that demand from life.

I'm female and still a virgin (I'm 21) but I'm not really interested in sex and if I ever did do it with someone, uh
I'd want it to be with the man I love.
And I guess in this day and age it's hard to find anyone who is out for love and not just getting laid, or having a relationship as a status symbol or something like that.
I'm probably a retard who's wasting my time waiting for something like that, maybe love isn't real, but I still want to hold out hope at least.

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It is girls like you who give men like us hope. Don't think it a wasteful pursuit.

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It's not a "single moment", it's a shared experience that will hopefully strengthen the romantic bond between two people.
Saying "I do" at the altar takes only a second, but would you call it just "a single moment?"

Having your preference isn't wrong, but getting mad at the world and the individuals in it for not conforming to your preference is. If you're cool with waiting for your virgin girl and understand you might never find her, then more power to you.

>caring about Jow Forums's opinion and not just living your life and going out looking for the virgin girl you want
Cringe and bluepilled my guy

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No

But you will make a load of insecure non-virgins angry

Yes, it's wrong, because you're setting up a riddiculous standard only because of your own insecurities, wich makes you see as treatening that a girl has had sexual partners, that is having lived and important part of life itself.

Bro, 1)You can't expect nor demand for someone to be out there waiting for you, avoiding for herself to live an important part of life, just because of your own insecurities 2) she could have more sexual partners than you and it wouldn't matter. You are no worst than them, and they are not better than you. Sex is an important thing in life, but it's more than the number of times you have done it or the experience you have.

It's not wrong. But it's unrealistic.

whats ur discord babe im you but male

It literally is just that OP even says it in his next post lol

I mean there's nothing inherently wrong with that but the question is why would a virgin girl want You?

I'm assuming also she has to be somewhat attractive and a bunch of other factors of attraction and not just some 500 lbs bitch who can't wipe her own ass but hey she's a virgin and that's all that matters

not at all

How are his preferences “ridiculous”?

In America or Sweden maybe

like I said, I'd want it to be with someone I love, and uh, I guess I'm not really into randos I just met on the internet. On Jow Forums of all places.

Not him but it's a begging chooser scenario.

What makes him or anyone else like him on Jow Forums that special that they would give their virginity to them and not anyone else when they've been saving it all this time?

>riddiculous standard
lmao

It's not so much that he's special or thinks he's special, he just doesn't want a girl who has sex without strong commitment

Wrong? No. Silly? Yes.

This.

It takes more than just strong commitment for a virgin to give it up.

If all these incels want a virgin girlfriend that's fine but it's never gonna happen if they're not anyone special. Like I said it's a choosing beggar scenario that's what's ridiculous about it.

I am also wondering this, do I have better chances now or should I wait until I am older and have more success?

>should I wait until I am older and have more success?
What does that have to do with a girl's virginity

I'm not going to try picking up a girl from Jow Forums (also I'm only 20) but I think I might feel similar to you. I went through my teenage years thinking that most of the people I knew were not ready for a real relationship, and judging by their drama, I provably wasn't either. I had an Ideal that I would have a first relationship that would last my life, and I figured I would have a better chance of that if I waited until I was an adult. This might have been unfair stereotyping on my part, but I believed that girls tended to be more romantic than sexual when compared to guys, especially as teenagers, so I would be appreciated for my uncommon view on relationships. Unfortunately I realized as I got older that women, even virgin ones, tended to prefer men with experience, and suddenly I started to be insecure over something I was a bit proud of, around when I turned 18.
It is sort of a sad point for me that I am being lumped in by default with "incels" that never felt anything for my view of love.
Do you think I have any chance of finding a girlfriend who actually appreciates my feelings, even if asking that she feels the same way is asking too much?

It’s okay to want it, but unpractical and pointless.

If you're a virgin I don't see how only wanting a virgin would be unreasonable

>It takes more than just strong commitment for a virgin to give it up.
Is that why most people lose it in their teens? Teenagers form strong commitments?

"I do" at the altar isn't a good analogy for the single moment referenced in the previous post, since you can get married multiple times.

I don't think being a virgin matters much if you're a guy, you could just lie and say that you have done stuff but have had bad experiences. Women would absolutely eat that up and think "well, I can totally be the best he's ever had"
Well, non-virgin women anyway.
Personally it's not a dealbreaker for me if the guy I'm into is a virgin or not, (mostly because I wouldn't be able to tell anyway), but I might be iffy if he's had, say... more than 3-5 sexual partners...

I think it's a little silly to think that your first relationship is the one that's gonna last forever, but I guess it's because I've dated before. I'm not the type of person to date someone unless I really know them and I really feel something for them, but I don't know if I think I'm the type of person someone would wanna be with forever. I still hold out hope, I suppose.
And uh, good luck user.

But even most that have a bit of experience are still awkward about it.
What is wrong about a girl that knows what she wants and can navigate her body?
Not even one that would rather help you navigate yours?

I mean that there could be a virgin girl that would go for a successful older guy, rather than just a male peer.

I should say that when I want my first relationship to be for life, I meant the first one that actually involved sex. It seems like it should be special in some way. I really, really do not want to lie about being a virgin, I would like if a girl thought that waiting to have a certain experience with the right person was desirable.

Ah, enjoy that slow death then. Most women would rather sell their virginity than uphold conservative standards. The ones that give to parental abuse of desocializing them so they can never talk to men are usually the first at the bar to get roofied, or don't actually care about sex with men because toys suffice.

you're disgusting
but true
Don't lose hope, chief. If I'm any indication, that kind of girl exists somewhere. It's statistically impossible for there not to be.

Honestly I think having and desiring sexual experience or skill might be the worst part of it. The general attitude towards sex that involves it as a physical experience rather than an emotional one is what bothers me about women who have had sex with men outside of a committed relationship.

Being "good" at sex means just about nothing to me, and I cannot imagine being in a healthy relationship that views "good sex" as an important part of it.

>Being "good" at sex means just about nothing to me, and I cannot imagine being in a healthy relationship that views "good sex" as an important part of it.

How do you not want to be in a healthy relationship if you want someone to wait until marriage to experience sex with you?
That's like waiting around for a woman and when you marry her, she turns around and bites your dick off because "Lol that's what I like".

I don't understand how I could come to my beliefs as a boy but girls would need to be brainwashed to possibly believe similar things to me.

Why not deprogram if you acknowledge that you're brainwashed?

Because nobody brainwashed me? My a
Dad told me to use a condom when I have sex like two years before before I first felt arousal. We rarely went to church. I had unrestricted access to my own laptop and the internet since I was 12. I never felt like I had a reason to abstain from having a girlfriend other than my own reasons.

No but get your priorities straight

I honestly have no idea what you are trying to say here. Can you rephrase it?
All I was saying is that a woman being able to "navigate her body" means nothing to me, and caring about the quality of sex probably means focusing about sex as a physical act other than an emotional one.

It could never work out with me and somebody who views sex in an entirely different way than me.

>I never felt like I had a reason to abstain from having a girlfriend other than my own reasons.
Which is?

>All I was saying is that a woman being able to "navigate her body" means nothing to me, and caring about the quality of sex probably means focusing about sex as a physical act other than an emotional one.
Uh, no. Actually caring about the emotional aspect should mean that you would value skill way more than inexperience. Because as sex as an emotional experience, if you don't satisfy each other, you lose your card and look like a blasphemer to your own sex religion.

I don't want to pry, but could you tell me where to a look for girlfriend who feels similar?
Obviously I'm not going to get it on a tinder match but asking random women seems like it would have a low chance of agreement.

If you read my posts, I mentioned that I felt most teenagers were not mature enough for a relationship, and I probably wasn't an exception.
That is the thing, I am not looking to be sexually "satisfied". I don't think I truly value inexperience on its own, but it would be difficult to find a strange mix of these traits outside of rape victims.

"Hey, do you have a hymen?"

Are you the person I was asking? What I was wondering was a better way to actually meet them, not identify them.

I'm actually OP, I was agreeing with you that it'd be awkward in real life.

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I sympathize with you but resent that you are essentially competition. How do you think it got to the point that there is an overabundance of men who feel this way than women, despite the fact that women are shamed for having sex?

No more wrong than wanting to have consensual sex in the missionary poisition for the sole purpose of procreation.

In short, you do you user.

The first portion is a rational deduction.
The second... well, the terms you are looking for lie in masochistic practices, and bordering that fine line of "consentual non consent". If you openly go into a sexual encounter, no discussion or study or even intrest towards a mutual goal of satisfaction, there are a lot of things to potentially get wrong as well. How are you supposed to bond with someone emotionally through sex if you don't care for their pleasure, much less your own? The simple answer is You Don't.

>How do you think it got to the point that there is an overabundance of men who feel this way than women, despite the fact that women are shamed for having sex?
Because women aren't actually shamed for having sex. If they were it wouldn't be that big of an issue.

The problem is that feminism and women's lib took consequences away from female promiscuity, so women no longer were expected to remain virginal.

Now on it's own this wouldn't be an issue, but women have always been the ones who had to be choosy about sex. They're the gatekeepers of sexuality, which is why the double standard of "a man who sleeps around is a stud, a girl is a slut" exists, because sleeping with many women is difficult for men. A similar double standard exists for women who beat up men, versus men who beat up women.

Anyways, my point is that it's easy for women to get sex and they're no longer shamed for doing it.

I think the real answer is that you are missing some executive function in how socializing and relationships actually work in the first place.
This is not 500BC we don't get married to solidify empires anymore unless you like being a cuckold in your own marriage. (Not gonna kink shame)
Relationships and marriage are currently based upon a mutual understanding of the social contract you agree to together, typically because there has been a prior exchange of pleasures in the forms of dating/gifting/affections that you both wish to contractually continue.

You have my view towards sex wrong, it is not that I seek to not make my partner happy, just that I view the primary pleasure of sex as something that has no "skill". It can not be "satisfied" through talent as there can be lack of satisfaction due to lack of talent. All the factors I care about for sex exist outside of actually having sex.
What I am saying is that to me, a woman can not become a better partner, sexual or romantic, just by having sex.

Dude, go back to square one.
How do you expect a relationship to form if all you have to offer in the pro column is emotional bonding, which literally anyone can do, even parents and friends.

There is no rational reason for wanting one. If that's your fetish then go ahead but it will greatly cut down your potential dating pool. Also, if she has kept her virginity, what makes you think she would give it up for you?

Yes because it shows trust issues and insecurity right off the bat. I lost my cousin at 22 because she married one of these freaks. She not only had to be a virgin but she had to report in on her daily activities with proof, wasn't allowed to leave the house while he wasn't at work and things culminated in him shooting her in the head point blank when a 12 gauge. She was the nicest girl I've known, the big sister I've never had.

Work on yourself first and don't be so selfish as to foist your issues on someone else. Mgtow at least got one thing right..

That's not psychology that's common sense. If you explain why you want a virgin even a 5 year old could point out the absolute cope on your side. Wanting a virgin IS ultimate cope.

Well I am attractive enough that some women wanted to date me throughout middle and high school, like I said, I am not an "incel" and I am not a virgin due to outside factors. I am tall and in shape.
Also my family has money, but I really don't want a gold digger.
Essentially my problem is that it would be difficult for me to meet a woman who has remotely similar views on love and sex as I do.

Women sense your mental illness and stay away from you because you give off rapist murderer vibes.

>This is not 500BC we don't get married to solidify empires anymore unless you like being a cuckold in your own marriage.
You are so full of shit. It's not like virgin marriages are some ancient thing that went out of style long ago. It was the norm like 40 years back.

>Yes because it shows trust issues and insecurity right off the bat. I lost my cousin at 22 because she married one of these freaks. She not only had to be a virgin but she had to report in on her daily activities with proof, wasn't allowed to leave the house while he wasn't at work and things culminated in him shooting her in the head point blank when a 12 gauge.
What the FUCK.

How can you believe that that is representative of even a sizable percentage of men?
Why the fuck did she even like him?

You have no fucking idea of what you are talking about. People have always fucked. You need to be a colossal retard to believe that Jow Forums virgins know what sex and relationships were like in the past.

It would describe most virgin chasers.

What lead you to think that based on my post? I just said that women have shown interest in me, the whole being a virgin thing is entirely on my end.

Another autist who don’t get the point, this thread really brought them out like ants. Fucking awesome.

control is part of the abuser's repertoire, plenty of men, way more than women, seek to dominate women through abuse. I think feeling entitled to a virgin is absolutely a red flag for an abuser. I don't know op but I do know that he wants to control a woman's sexuality.

Yeah, all of that reeks of mental narcissist that thinks money buys pussy, but he wants a woman equally damaged yet is not willing to go with the usual gold digger he actually deserves half the time.
I'm not sugar coating this. What you are actually looking for is usually only found in the manifestation of gold diggers. You will not find someone with "morals" that thinks like you.

As a girl, I’m definitely losing my virginity sooner rather than later so I can erase these kind of people showing in this thread. What an easy fix ;)
Later incels and chasers

I don't think this describes specifically men who want virgins at all, I have no idea why you would believe that. How would wanting a woman who is like you in any given way indicate a desire for control? It is just a preferance.

>People have always fucked
Yes, and people who fucked usually paid the price(being disowned, kicked out, etc) because fucking back then had consequences(pregnancy).

If history was just people indiscriminately fucking monogamy wouldn't be such a big deal.

Love you too, pal.

>I don't know op but I do know that he wants to control a woman's sexuality.
Well yeah, wanting to control someone's sexuality when you're in a relationship seems normal.

It reeks of jealousy, control and insecurity. Much like a beta male. No thanks.

>Well yeah, wanting to control someone's sexuality when you're in a relationship seems normal.
Please be sarcasm.. You don't control a relationship partner's sexuality in the slightest, it's their duty to uphold the social contract you form...

That’s rather emotionaless way of looking at it. Most people aren’t that.

People who fucked and accidentally got pregnant went through a shotgun wedding. Yay look, our daughter is marrying the man she gave her virginity to!

Actual stats show that casual sex is on the decline. People lose their virginity later.

I just said that having family money is something that a woman might want to date me for, but I wouldn't like it. I was just listing "pros" a woman would see in me, and I didn't list my personality because that might seem a bit conceited.
I really don't know why you chose to focus on the money thing, it's not that significant.
And I have no idea on where you get off thinking I view myself as "damaged" or want a woman who is also like that.

It peaked in the late 80's I think?

And while shotgun weddings were common, they weren't the only response. You'd see women get kicked out, or sent to a covenant. It's why being a single mother used to be something looked down on.

Answer me this: what's so wrong in wanting to be a woman's first and only love?

Everyone wants their love to be the first and only. But reality often gets in the way. You virgin chasers don't understand that a virgin girl is just as likely, or even more likely to cheat on you and leave you.

>You virgin chasers don't understand that a virgin girl is just as likely, or even more likely to cheat on you and leave you.
Not going by divorce statistics.

"Reeking" is not an actual claim. It could be associated but it doesn't guarantee it.
I would never demand my wife chart down what she did all day, that's insane. You cannot assume a general claim based on a single anecdote of what happened to your sister. How did they even end up in a relationship?

Uh, no, that's the definite definition of what a relationship is. You both agree on a standard set of behaviors to abide by. There's no "emotional merging of souls" happening in a literal sense, these are figures of speech. You are two separate beings having an experience to which you negotiate and come to conclusions upon what to do with each other in a mutual fashion. If you agree to give control of your sexualities to each other, and she cuts your dick off in your sleep, you earned that too, because that was in the agreement.

>If you agree to give control of your sexualities to each other, and she cuts your dick off in your sleep, you earned that too, because that was in the agreement.
You seem pretty fucked up, bro. Between your kneejerk reaction to men having standards and your weird insistence on remaining independent while in a relationship I reckon you got some damage.

Actually yes, by going by divorce statistics.
People are waiting until 30's now, incase you haven't heard from your social isolation. All the boomer marriages and old millenial marriages are in the toilet because of impulse and domestic abuse.

Yes, there are always exceptions to the rules. That’s why they usually go by the term “red flag”, just think before responding like a child with autism.

Dude, codependency is for omega individuals, and typically leads to mental deficiencies.

And that’s all it took before crazy came out. Good job. People will definitely take you seriously now. ( that’s sarcasm, i have to mention it because otherwise you would take it literally)

There IS something wrong with not knowing the difference between WHOSE and WHO'S.

>Actually yes, by going by divorce statistics.
Uh no?

It's funny how you talked so much about trust issues when you say shit like this.

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No. It's not wrong in any moral sense, or from any evolutionary risk perspective - which is what I imagine drives the INSTINCT. I put instinct in caps because despite what you might be told by media or people in this thread, it is completely natural. Arguments based on practicality, social norms, tolerance, double standards, etc - mean less than nothing. Words upon words, theory upon theory all the way back. Trust yourself man. You alone decide what's for you.

>"I don't know OP but I do KNOW that..."
Come on now. You don't know that through red flags alone.

Ok, go home, OP is an autist everyone.
psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-skeptical-sleuth/201103/did-study-really-show-abstinence-marriage-makes-better-sex