"Women don't like nice guys"

>ou can be nice to people, but not bend over backwards for them. Nice guys typically go around putting women on a pedestal and bringing them offerings and always appearing available.

Yeah, I don't mean guys who act like that, but more just people who are nice guys in general. They have likeable personalities, are humble, have calm temperaments and don't act like cunts to people.

I know plenty of men like that who have been successful with women.

Eh, can kinda confirm, matched with some hoes on tinder and tried different approaches, went with very nice, to nice but dismissive, to full on not giving a fuck, just asking what i want. Only actual hoes go with the last one, most just stop talking or unmatch you. Which is fine because they are all hoes if they're on tinder anyway, but yea be nice my dudes

I'm going to go one step further and say that women just don't like desperation and extreme insecurity. Putting women on a pedestal is exactly that. These guys aren't sincere, they are just desperately trying to get a girlfriend.
You can be kind, sincere, and available while not being desperate and insecure.

If being an asshole was such a sure fire way to get a gf, wouldn't Jow Forums be drowning in pussy?

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There is a psychological principle about love that many people do not recognize immediately. When we are raised by our parents, they teach us how to love. Then when we go out into the world, we are looking for the same type of love - because that's how we have learned to perceive love. If you can from a bad home, the chances are you will be looking for someone considered "bad." In the same regard, if you had alcoholic parents growing up, the chances of finding a chemically dependent partner are higher. This is the same for both women and men.

With all this being said, women as a whole do not have a definitive opinion about what makes a man the ideal partner.

They like nice guys on the reg, it's r/niceguys they dislike.
For anyone but "nice guys" the distinction is plain as day and night.

>"Women don't like nice guys" is the biggest load of bullshit that has been said on the internet
Yes OP i'm sure this idea upsets you. I also get upset by ideas on here like "nice guys are actually assholes deep down" or "nice guys expect to receive dates/sex for being nice"

Let's even the playing field and say the unfortunate fact of a nice normal guy not being able to date is just a lack of communication on both sides plain and simple. 1 - It's the fault of the nice guy for constantly expecting someone else to take the lead socially, and then when it's him and a girl he doesn't know what to do. And also 2 - it's the fault of the girl for also constantly expecting someone else to take the lead socially and not knowing how to bring out the "man" in the guy which, trust me, is there deep down but has never been released in the proper setting. We don't put pressure on guys to be men anymore. Everyone needs to step up and tell these betas to be men, but politely and not in a cunty way.

"Nice guys" is code for assholes who act nice to get women in bed.

"Good man" is the actually kind hearted person who acts that way because that is how they are and not because they gain something from it.

But here's the problem, from the other end there's no difference between those two, so how is the kind-hearted person supposed to be nice if the girl can just assume it's to get her in bed.

Like that implies there was some shitty thing he was about to do and then he thought, "oh wait if this girl sees this asshole thing she won't sleep with me, I better be nice instead"....literally not a single dude thinks that way, in fact it's usually the opposite.

But that's how it is
They're nice until the girl says there's no sex on the table and they turn absolutely foul
They're literally nice to get the reactions they want. And I believe you ignored my clear point: they alone are under the delusion of their subtleties. To everyone else, the difference is painfully obvious. Individually nuanced, I'll grant-- but still obvious.

The proof is usually in the pudding during introductions or questions; in getting to know the guy, a girl will quickly know if he's an asshole or not, unless she's inexperienced and isolated in which case she's got different problems but that's neither here nor there.

No, you can change. Don't be the creepy beta orbiter who showers every woman with attention, that bats an eye at you, but don't be a complete asshole either.

If a fat and ugly, but kind hearted girl asked you out,, would you say yes? A lot of girls have to deal with that shit a lot of the time, so understand why every girl you ask out doesn't go fro you.

What you can do, is have self-respect, and be a good person. Don't fall in love with every attractive woman that treats you like a human being, and do your best to make sure that people perceive you as kind, relaxed, and good at some skill you're passionate about. Things will get easier from there.

Also, actually care about your appearance. No fashion is not a meme for gaybois, it is a way to present yourself and you should look into it.

Different guy but fat never bothered me.
Women on the other hand are picky af about everything.

lol true

This has been annoying the fuck out of me lately in a very personal way. Every female coworker I know thinks I'm just being a "nice guy". When in reality I'm being a good man that is not in any way trying to manipulate any of them because I'm actively trying to stay away from anything tgat can be construed as workplace romance since I'm resolved to not shit where I eat.

It's honestly quite annoying. I legitimately have no ulterior motive and wouldn't fuck them if they laid down for me but they all still act like I'm some sort of creep.

Sounds like that's the women you like. My girlfriend found my cum rag and understood that men have needs.

Remember, it's a big world out there. Saying "women don't" or "women do" is making a lot of assumptions about ladies who are, patently, as weird as we are.

My thoughts on the matter are women generally don't find being nice to be attractive or unnattractive, it's more like it doesn't register much when it comes to daing. Things like charisma and confidence are worth more than being nice. An confident guy with a boatload of charisma who also happens to be a complete asshole that will cheat on every woman he's with will still have little trouble finding a new partner, but on the other hand a confident guy with a boatload of charisma who also happens to be a nice will never have trouble finding women either. Niceness just isn't a trait that sits high on the list when women seek out a guy but if she starts dating him and finds out that he is actually a nice guy well hey that's a bonus! Maybe she'll be more likely to stay with him.

If you're genuinely nice but you lack things like confidence and charisma you won't get women and I think that's what breeds resentment among these men. To be told that no you're not actually nice you're exactly that same as those sleazy "nice guys" when you know you aren't would be infuriating, but it's an easy way out in an argument if people reduce all unsuccessful men into that one group. It's not just trying to convince you but also to convince themselves because they would feel a bit bad if they realised there were actually genuinely nice guys who still couldn't get women. The "nice guys" they describe definitely exist though.

And what if a woman that physically repulsed you asked you out? Would you say yes?

I'm just saying that all these r/niceguys complaining about rejection would still reject people that don't meet their standards.

And jesus christ they have unrealiistic standards. I've seen threads of these guys rattling off demands about their ideal virgin, white, short, submissive, pure aryan, waifu, completely blind to the fact that they have literally no positive character traits that would make that kind of person interested in them.

Lol at thinking that white is a high standard if you are white yourself. Also short, most girls are short

>And what if a woman that physically repulsed you asked you out?
Yes actually. Maybe she's fun. Personality can go a long way towards me wanting to fuck someone.

I don't think the proof is in the pudding, I think girls have a tendency of assuming nice guys are assholes to justify not having to deal with their awkwardness.
It's much easier and more fun to give an interesting asshole a chance even when painfully obvious he's not a good guy at all. I've seen a girl get into an argument with my a-hole friend who straight up said "get the fuck out of my apartment" and not listened to a single word she was saying even though she was being polite, lo and behold they were hanging out again the next day. True assholes have no problem getting sex. None. They don't need to put up any kind of farce because they are interesting.

>oh wait if this girl sees this asshole thing she won't sleep with me, I better be nice instead

You got it backwards. They go in acting nice from the start and if they get turned down they usually drop the facade. I have seen in real life a guy acting nice and complimenting a woman and asking her out and after she turned him down he called her a skank. Instant 180 as soon as he realized he wasn't getting anything. The only real way to tell is time. If a guy is nice all the time then odds are he is actually nice.

You can also tell by how he acts towards other people. If he is nice to other men, unattractive women, older people and children then he is probably, genuinely, a good person.

>Personality can go a long way towards me wanting to fuck someone.
This is true, but I can't believe it would make up for being physically repulsive.

I didn't mean that I like fat girls especially, just that it's something I can easily get over. I'm not that shallow, it would take something really ugly to >repulse me. And indeed, I'd say no. But thing is, women ARE much more pickier than men. I'm not physically repulsive, I'm actually quite good looking, and I am getting rejected 99% of the time. Had a girlfriend who dumped me in less than 3 months because her friends thought I was a no-name aka not enough social status.
I wouldn't complain if I was indeed >physically repulsive, but I'm far, far from that, and I'm getting rejected by girls way below my league

As long as she has *something* I'd rock her world.

Pretty face, big tits, shapely ass, clear skin, w/e. If she was a burn victim or something i might even get off on the exoticness of it all.

You're a freak.

No they like douche weasel mcdickcheese because of confidence. There's nothing wrong with being nice and still telling women you want some pussy. Hell, that honesty is nice on it's own. You can also be a nice guy who places himself first. Im sorry to say but your problem isnt that youre nice, its that youre a bitch.

>Im sorry to say but your problem isnt that youre nice, its that youre a bitch.
literally me. I still hold out hope that one day a girl will like me as I am but I doubt it.

What's a fear you have?

It's more accurate to say he was bitter from being rejected than to say the whole politeness thing was an act. Obviously he didn't deserve that girl if he took it so poorly, but I will say this, rejection hurts a lot whether it's big, small, the first time, the 100th time, it always hurts. I've willingly let one of my homies bitch slap me in the face and to be honest that only stung slightly worse than being rejected by a cute girl.

It's not about being an asshole to the girl, it's about being an asshole to everyone besides the girl to assert your dominance. Being able to fuck with everyone else and them not doing shit back to you is the manliest thing you can do. Women pick up on this and love it.

Several. An intense fear of rejection, a fear of showing my genuine self and losing what little friends I have, and a fear of humiliation. I've progressed from being a shut in neet to having a long term job where I manage a small team of people, as well as making more efforts to talk to others and be more social in general but I've only become marginally better at faking it all.

No, only bitches like that shit.

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You need to do something publicly humiliating on purpose then. I used to have stage fright until i purposely forced myself to give speechs. Courage quickly evolved into confidence.

Nope, some of the sweetest girls I've met were with the hugest assholes in the room. Women want alphas and being confrontational and disrespectful is the modern day alpha.

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I think having to listen to workmates talk about their partners and laugh and joke about dating, flirting and people they find attractive, while blatantly avoiding it when I'm around is plenty humiliating.

>shoving blame
I'm sure the problem is you are misjudged

A bit.

The whole "nice guys finish last" line is the same as "I intimidate men because I'm so strong and independent". It's just a way for someone who isn't lucky in love to feel good about themselves and not stop to wonder if maybe a lot of people aren't digging what they're offering they're doing something wrong.

nice guy betas get leftovers. they get to settle down with women who had fun with countless men. I know several men, all of them very attractive and charismatic, whom robots would consider chads. they bang hotties all the time. meanwhile I know some very good nice guys. high paying jobs, liked by everyone. but in the end they get no pussy and when they do they only get into long term relationships with unattractive women

every player says the same thing. women want exciting bad boys, not nice guy betas. you can be in denial as much as you want but at the end of the day nice guys get the leftovers while bad boys fuck the good pussy

Being a nice guy doesn't really count for a whole lot unless you're Gandhi. Because 99/100 times people are smart enough to realise that niceness isn't your entire personality.
Too good to be true is a very real thing.
Women talk to me all the time because I volunteer a lot of my spare time raising and rehabilitating abandoned and injured animals.
By all traditional meanings of the word, I am also nice.
But people just dig to find out more about me, so they can find a reason to not like me.
And I have a lot of psychological issues and don't really like lying so if people ask about it I'll tell them.
Which just makes people think I'm some kind of sociopath murderer, even though I've never done harm to anybody or anything.
And I would never want to.
You just can't change people's opinions about nice people.
You're either Jesus or you're just wearing a mask to fuck with people. There's no inbetween in people's minds for niceness.

Literally there's no reason to be a nice guy this day and age

they say that there's a difference between being genuinely nice and a doormat but those people will never give you details. They just don't want to be blamed for their choices in partners. If you act like a bad boy and you get fucked over then you can at least say "ok I probably deserve it" but if you try to be a decent person and get fucked then there's not much reason and if you ask for one you're just going to get your manhood insulted by people who originally said that people shouldn't be judged by gender roles.

tl;dr: better to be called a complete asshole than a nice guy

>Literally there's no reason to be a nice guy this day and age
Being kind is it's own reward. Knowing you made someone's day just a little better makes it all worth it.

seconding this. if getting laid is your top priority in life, something is wrong. focus on relating to and helping the people around you, or stop calling yourself a 'nice guy' and seek therapy.

Now, imagine you had a troubled family, few or no friends, and all stuff on the internet is literally your only source on women and relationships.
How do you even start to cure someone like that?

>You need to do something publicly humiliating on purpose then. I used to have stage fright until i purposely forced myself to give speechs
Unrelated to the thread but maybe this is why I don't feel so afraid of doing stuff in public and shiet as my friends; I was forced to ask a girl if she wanted to be my gf in 8th grade when I was obviously too nerdy looking for her to accept, and also her whole class, my whole class, and maybe some other people were around us looking at it like it was some kind of spectacle. Ever since then, it's not like I became immune to stage fright or that I can go and talk to whatever stranger to ask their name or something and make a conversation or something, but I have much less of a problem to do stuff in front of people; and nowadays I'm just "who cares, I don't know most of these people and I'll probably never see them again, so why bother".

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Of course females like Chads and don't like nice guys.
No matter how Chad treats them, they still want to choke on Chad's cock every single night.
The other beta 'nice guy' cucks don't have a chance.
What's that? It's BS? Well, it's what the internet told me. I'm up to hear out females on the matter, but females won't even talk to me because I'm not Chad.
So you see how my opinion might be a little bit skewed, since one side of the argument doesn't really care to explain themselves.

>rrraaaahh I hate women bitches whores cunts
>girls don't like me because I'm too nice, they only want assholes
You and every incel.

My ex left me and I convinced myself she'd be fucking Chads left and right. She eventually started dating some beta manlet. That ended and now she's dating some goofy idiot who was in the friendzone with her for couple of years. I'm a sensitive kind of guy but honestly, these dudes make me look like a sociopath.

She could be fucking Chads easily. Guess some women just like beta men.

Literally cucking yourself to society. How sad

Anyone who wants me to be nice to them has to be worth my time. I won't be an asshole passively, and I'll hold the door open if someone's behind me, but fuck off if you think the average whore deserves to get anything more. They ignore me, and I ignore them.

I think the biggest issue with this is that most robots and incels don't realize that personality is dynamic. People have different sides depending on your intimacy levels. My boyfriend seemed like a dick at first before anybody knew him well, but the more my group of friends got go know him, the easier it was to see that he was actually a really nice person. He liked fucking around with people, but was legitimately caring and loving towards his friends and family.

We've been together for years now and have really only had one fight. He's a really incredible person and we have a really great relationship.
I could easily see some of the guys I wasn't interested in saying all this "GIRLS LIKE DOUCHEBAGS" thing after seeing us together, but seeing a more real and intimate side of a person's personality isn't for everyone.

Ignoring them would require them actually giving you attention

Well, I meant more in the sense of giving them more attention than is necessary. You're right though, and this is the way it's supposed to be

yeah. women only like nice guys like archie andrews that are ripped. niceness is a weakness for regular men.

Women’s preferences change over the course of the month

When in estrous, women prefer meaner guys

When out of estrous, women prefer nicer guys

As women get older and lose their attractiveness they gravitate towards nice guys

Source: your ass.

newsroom.ucla.edu/releases/what-do-women-want-depends-on-249813

You’re delusional but I’ll forgive you. I know liberals like to think everyone is an equal blank slate out of the womb.

Not the person you responded to, but
Yes, this is absolutely true

However, as a female in a happy long term relationship, I can say that I don't find myself gravitating towards other men during this time
I usually just want slightly more aggressive sex with the man I love, who is a genuinely good person in general.
A man is still a man though, so he's more than happy to oblige to my request for rougher sex.

Are you deliberately lying or just stupid? That article says "masculine characteristics", and they can't give it an accurate definition. Nothing about mean vs nice.

Don’t play dumb. Aggression and lack of conscientiousness positively correlated with female attraction during the estrous period.

Where does it say that?

Girls that like "bad boys" are usually trash with daddy issues anyway, why anyone would want to stay with them is beyond me.

By all means, if you want whores you can abuse for good sex then be an asshole, chances are it will work. If you want a normal gf who's not mentally ill, you need to be nice and respectful to her. This is what most of those MGTOW/incel faggots don't realize.