My gf/ex gf, has cut herself. I’ve told her don’t bother contacting me again until she gets professional help. Was this the right to do? Pic related
My gf/ex gf, has cut herself. I’ve told her don’t bother contacting me again until she gets professional help...
Nah man, I think you should be there to support her. I don't know the background of you, two but I'd try to stay close and help
It's a pretty selfish thing and probably not good for her, but good for you. If I confessed to a guy I was struggling and he told me to fuck off till I went to therapy, and I went to therapy I'd never go back to a guy who abandoned me when I told him I struggled. You should have supported her to find professional help.
Sounds like an incel thing to do for an ex
kek gonna lose his gf and it's all his fault
Great. Good job user. It's not like you're responsible for her cutting herself even more, perhaps even suicide or anything like that when it comes to it. But, good on your girlfriend for no longer having someone who doesn't care by her side.
Please let's not pass the narrative that you can't break up with someone who has depression or you're responsible for them hurting themselves.
It is fine to break up with someone if you don't want to date them, you're not obligated to date them if you don't like them or if it makes you unhappy. You're under no obligation to be in a relationship with a person, and if someone kills themselves or hurts themselves after you break up with them it isn't your responsibility or your fault.
You're responsible for them suffering, you're not responsible for the unhealthy ways their suffering shows because of their mental condition.
Yeah, but let's pass on the the narrative that people are disposable just because they cut themselves.
You sound like a miserable fuck. Cutting oneself is selfish too and there's a huge gap between cutting and actually killing yourself, plus it's not even OP's obligation to support his ex or to be her personal shrink. Grow the fuck up.
whatever man I mean like 90% of all girls that I dated cut themselves. It was never really bad or suicidal it was just some embarrassing scars on their arm or thighs. It's not a big deal.
Guys do that kind of shit too when they get overly emotional only they'll like punch a wall and fuck up their hand or put a cigarette out on their chest or something even more dramatic.
People aren't disposable, if you want to stay by someone's side through mental illness till they sort themselves out it's good. But it is though, and not everyone can do it, and you're under no obligation to. You're not obligated to date a person who cuts herself if you don't want to.
I'm married to a someone who is very mentally ill, I never left their side. I'm happy with my choices. But it has to be a choice and not an obligation.
What I'm saying is that if you don't want to date someone who is mentally ill you shouldn't have a bunch of people making you feel bad about it.
Maybe they're cutting themselves because they've noticed how much you, or anyone around them doesn't seem to care about them.
Depression can happen to all of us and is very human emotion, it is your job as her partner to try to help.
In fact, you've decided to just dump her without talking it out. They were right after all.
I'm not OP, you passive aggressive dumbfuck.
They're cutting themselves because they're depressed. Depression is an illness, it isn't someone's fault. Stop being a fucking cunt about it.
like I said, idk their background. Of course I wouldn't stick around to help a bitch if she cheated on me or some bullshit like that. Other than that there's no shame in helping someone who was important to you, even if they aren't anymore.
Yeah sure, but your decision when someone who is supposed to be significant to you is depressed just shows your true colors.
No one forced you to date her if you just don't care about her well being. You're just a sociopath in my opinion.
I guess that you wouldn't be depressed if things just didn't turn out right in your life. You have to somehow be born into depression.
NEVER EVER LET ANYONE THREATEN YOU.
I'dve called the cops and told on her.
"I'll kill myself if you leave me!"
Yeah and itll be suicide by cop. Miss me with that shit, she-witch.
You did good, user. Don't let that shit spread. Otherwise it will escalate
>t's not even OP's obligation to support his ex
The implication is that he broke up with her because she cut herself
No, the implication was that she cut herself to threaten OP back into a relationship.
It's not true. I dumped/stopped talking to people with mental issues because having them around was really bad for my own mental health. I kept around other people because, despite it being draining and tough at times, it was still doable for me.
In your life, your priority should be your own well being. When you feel like shit, you can't be useful for others.
If you surround yourself for people who turn out to be toxic for you, whether they want to or not, you just ruin your chances of living a decent life and helping them. It's better to cut them off and focus your efforts on yourself and people you can actually help.
You can care about someone's wellbeing but not being in the position to help. You can feel very bad about not helping, too.
For example, I dumped a guy who had BPD because he made me fucking miserable. It was constant emotional warfare.
I am married to a man who has mental issues (even more severe ones) but it doesn't hurt me at all, beside basic sympathy of being sorry because I know he suffers - I'm not hurt by his condition. I'm very happy with him.
At the end, you do you. You think for yourself and consider what is best for you. If someone can't handle a relationship with someone who is mentally ill, there's nothing wrong with them not dating them. It's probably better for both of them to just quit it.
There's nothing to imply that.
>My gf/ex gf, has cut herself.
He calls her his gf still, meaning they were still together until he found out she cuts herself
>I’ve told her don’t bother contacting me again until she gets professional help
he unofficially broke up with her because of it.
But how can you be well knowing that someone close to you is just hurting themselves? It should bring you down even more to not be around them and have them wonder off on their own without your help.
If you feel like you just can't help, fine, but that doesn't mean that you should just leave them behind. Find a way to help them. If OP had just said "Seek professional help" it would've been fine.
Now, I understand leaving behind distant friends, but your girlfriend/boyfriend? Seriously?
>the right thing to do
>the correct thing to do
You don't owe anyone else your life so why would you put up with straight craziness?
>I dumped a guy who had BPD
Now, keep in mind that we're talking BPD here. If we're referring to actual illnesses, like schizophrenia, that, then I see the point. But depression is nothing like those illnesses.
You probably aren't going to go out partying and laughing with your friends the night after the break up, you need to heal too. It's very hard to break up with someone you love when you realise that being with them hurts you. But it can be the best thing for you to break up with them, and maybe for them too if it frustrates you that they're depressed (my ex got really mad at me when I was suffering from depression and I wish he broke up with me).
You leave behind who you feel like leaving behind. There's no obligation to stick around people who make you unhappy, unless they're your children really.
It is a mental illness. It's not super different, no.
My ex boyfriend didn't understand depression at all and being together made my life worse, his life worse, and my depression worse. He wanted to stay by my side out of obligation even if he hated trying to help me because he couldn't. It made my depression worse because he did every wrong thing he could possibly do, our relationship got so much worse, his life got worse, and my life was awful.
I'm so glad we fucking broke up because the day we did I improved so much, even if he truly loved me and I was alone in the world. I did so much better without him than I ever did with him.
Breaking up can be the right thing. Sticking with mentally ill people isn't the right thing in all scenarios.
OP here. I’ll give some backstory. I’ve been dating her for 7 months and even though there were good times it was mostly miserable. She is a very paranoid person, she had me stop seeing my friends and tried the same with my family, but I grew a spine. She always gave me grief whenever I left home and would always accuse me of cheating when I have honestly been faithful. I have had so much patience with her. I helped her, supported her. But my best was never enough. And it was always my fault. I recently broke up with her, but I still talk to her a lot, I’m struggling to cut ties. I think part of her still thinks we’re in a relationship. Anyway I went for drinks with friends last night to try and take my mind off the drama. When she found out I was out she kept telling to go home. I didn’t. And I got a call at 2am saying she’s done something stupid and it’s because I made her feel worthless. And like I mentioned I immediately cut ties. I refuse to be held accountable for her mental issues. Especially after the amount of effort I’ve put in to help her. So again I’ll ask, did I do the right thing?
I don’t think it’s right but I also think it isnt wrong either. In this case I think you’re looking out for yourself more than hers. Being with someone like that is hard and you have to really invest your time and effort. If you’re not 100% supportive then why stay with her? you’ll be in more stress and she’s probably going to feel like she’s not good enough if she sees your frustration. Depression is sad but also she needs to find the courage to help herself. You can only do so much. Idk how you guys are though so this is just my speculation.
I just read your backstory and yeah i think you did the right thing. She’s not being fair
I have my doubts sometimes. I obviously miss her. Feelings are still there. But this relationship has taken a toll on me. I wanted to help her and bring her up to my level, instead she dragged me down to hers.
If she cuts you just gotta ghost her, don't put up with that bs. I once had some dumb cunt try to guilt me into doing shit by sending me pictures of her fresh cuts every time I'd say no. By the end that bitch's whole body was covered in scars because I didn't do shit, lol. Don't ever put your dick in crazy.
>did I do the right thing
Yes it was the right thing to do. If they cut themselves they're seeking attention, if you then reward that attentionseeking behavior they will keep doing it.
Don't get guilted into giving her attention again. Make clear that seeking help is what's required to receive your attention again.
I cut myself, just the legs so nobody normally sees it.
I can't talk for everyone, but is more of a stress relief thing, kind of muting the inside pain with outside pain.
Talk to her and help her get medical help, sometimes is hard to move on alone.
Is not necessary for you to still be her bf, but at least try to get her to get help.
Anybody who cuts themselves, takes pictures of it and shows it to other people are the biggest attention whores. They're looking for somebody to be their emotional crutch and to be their savior. Don't get mixed up with these retards. Let them be attention whores to their therapists, as that's what they are paid for. You're not her doctor. You're not her father. You're not her personal Jesus.
(Actually, you SHOULD show/tell her family, as they are directly related and responsible for her. It's their responsibility to step in and get her ass thrown into a clinic to unglitch her brain.)
Hahaha get over your shit, kid. Self harm is as gay as it gets. Just go smoke some weed or something you stupid bitch.
how the hell did your brain come up with the idea of hurting yourself because you're already hurting? That's like starving yourself because you're hungry. You people don't make any fucking sense. Get out of your own head and join the rest of us in reality. Life is pain. Pain is a part of life. You deal with it and grow from it.
I don't have the money to buy weed.
I don't really know, when having actual medical issues there are certain impulses you feel, at the moment it just feels logic even if I know it isn't.
Taking meds help a lot but actually having a condition is something that cannot really be cured without a little help.
Cutting is a cry for help. Help her to seek professional mental help if you care for her. Abandoning someone you care for when they are showing you they want help with something is bad news.
You got scrambled eggs for brains, you know that? Your wires are crossed and the electrical pulses are NOT reaching their proper destination. Stop cutting yourself, you attention whore. Nobody fucking cares about you or your problems because we all have our own that we're dealing with. Either get the job done right and stop wasting our oxygen, or pull your head out of your thick-ego-ass and get with the program like the rest of us.
>Being this salty about what someone else does
You did read the part where they are wasting precious oxygen and food for the normies, right?
You'd be surprised at how many normies cut themselves.
You are an awful person and literally autistic. I would be fucking seething if someone did this to me and I would never forgive them for the rest of my life, if you had any emotional intelligence you would have understood that before this even happened.
My current gf is the only one who didn't cut herself, and it sounds like she came pretty close to it at some point. You retards need to realize how common this is.
That's totally different from what you told us. You're allowed to cut her off for good (you're going to have to live with the fact that you're a cold cunt but whatever), but you made it sound like you told her to just go and get fixed up on her own, not bother you with her problems, and then come back if she was a good little girl, which is a fucking disgusting thing to do to someone.
lmao she crazy bruh
Selfish piece of shit you are. But also her too.
Yeah, protect your own mentality first. If she was doing it to lash out on you, she was trying to control you, and you dipped when you should.
Right thing to do.
This is what emotional black mail is, and she want attention. If you give it to her she will continue this cycle. She absolutely needed help, but not from you.