I want to stop being a nice guy, tips?
I want to stop being a nice guy, tips?
Tip 15% instead of 20, go first at a 4 way stop when someone gets there at almost the same time as you, steal a grape while you're in the produce section and don't pay for it.
You gotta be more specific than that, OP. I assume this is about women?
Have a backbone.
Say what you think.
Say no when you don't want to do something.
Treat women like you'd treat guys.
Don’t transform into a scumbag
>Treat women like you'd treat guys
This results in getting precisely no sex.
I'm a nice guy to everyone, not only women but this affects my relationships with women the most. My close friends know that i'm like this.
I have no problem being nice since I treat people the way I like to be treated but this can be seen as "beta, cuck".
I usually seek approval so the gf's i've had usually end up controlling me and I don't like that. It sucks.
Not at all.
What I'm saying isn't "treat them exactly like they're your buddy John", I'm saying "don't be kinder to a girl than you'd be to your buddy John".
Works like a charm. You don't need to be a dick to them, be a decent person but not any more decent than you'd be to a guy.
That's very different to "treating women like you'd treat guys".
Be more specific with your advice cause if you tell clueless guys "treat women like men" they're gonna take it literal and end up virgins forever.
It's so fucking hard in these times where everyone gets offended by anything. It feels like i'm walking on eggshells. Most of the girls I like are feminists and studying something related to politics.
I never harassed, raped or abused someone nor will I in the future. I developed this fear of approaching a woman and bothering her because I'm a male. I don't see them as objects and I know that they're more than their looks, heck, sex isn't the only thing I want but how am I supossed to approach someone, just saying "Hi" out of nowhere like a total creep and being wrong if I felt attraction by her looks and first impression.
Watch all the Patrice oneal videos in youtube on women and relationships. Its hard but a good eye opener.
I definitely should be on this thread.
Last 3 girls i tried to get involved with specifically told me,
>you're very nice and kind user
>you deserve somebody nice and kind
>you'll find her someday
In the context of "being nice", I assumed they'd get that I meant "be as nice to women as you are to guys".
But I hope that now that I phrased it as I phrased it in that post they get it.
Have a reason to approach women, continue conversation just if she seems into it.
At worse, apologise if she feels deeply offended by the fact that you talked to her.
Very few girls are such massive feminists that they get offended by "hi".
>I never harassed, raped or abused someone nor will I in the future. I developed this fear of approaching a woman and bothering her because I'm a male. I don't see them as objects and I know that they're more than their looks, heck, sex isn't the only thing I want but how am I supossed to approach someone, just saying "Hi" out of nowhere like a total creep and being wrong if I felt attraction by her looks and first impression.
holy shit are you me
Have you tried not dating thots. Because I'm a nice guy and I've been married to my 10/10 for 6 years with no issue.
Is it ok to try that at my uni? I use the bus, is it ok to try it there too?
When to do it? I just see someone interesting and say "hi"?
If you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down upon his shoulders - What would you tell him?"
I…don't know. What…could he do? What would you tell him?"
Real feminists don't have the energy to worry about guys approaching them being a bit creepy when there are still countless cases of literal cartoon villain rapists getting let off of their crimes against women.
Stop getting your life philosophy from Jow Forums and shitty subreddits. You have constructed a fabricated image of "the evil feminist" who gets angry and accuses men who say hi to her of sexual assault. This person does not exist.
Never been on Jow Forums and shitty subreddits, a lot of friends are like that and feel offended/objectified when someone tells them "hey I saw you x day at the uni and I think you're smart and good looking". I have nothing against feminism, I just feel intimidation because I never developed a good dating life and now I don't even know where to start or what to do without bothering someone.
It feels like I have nothing special to offer and that i'm just a dude on the huge crowd of available dudes. Last girl I was dating just stopped talking to me and a week later she was hanging out with a dude he met because he was handsome as hell.
This applies to everything, not only woman. I feel at disadvantage, I'm not good looking, not wealthy, not the smartest dude on the planet. There's people out there way better than me and I can't beat them, they can appear anytime and the people I like can choose them over me, why wouldn't they? Just like this girl, there's me and there's her crush who's way more attractive, she picks him and I kinda see why.
I can only offer being a decent human being, work on myself by studying and building a career that I love. I'm no artist, musician or talented athlete. The people that actually like me are ok with a normal, not extraordinary dude and something better can always appear and beat me.
This would be a good start OP.
Read No More Mr. Niceguy and The Assertiveness Workbook.
It may not feel like it but those chicks did you a favor. They couldn't return your feelings/kindness so they left. Believe people when they tell you about themselves.
Some people are naturally selfish and take too much. Others are really conscientious. It's not a good mix. You need to find someone else who is conscientious.
Seeking approval from others is a problem. You should be the one to decide for yourself what it means to live a good life and how to treat people.
I think you should work on self confidence. Do something challenging that you can take pride in. Go to therapy and figure out if their is some unfulfilled need that keeps you seeking attention from others.
Doubt they said these because they themselves weren't nice and would hurt me. I just am not that agressive when it comes to these things and quite timid. And i wouldn't aggressively pursue somebody.
So i think they just wanted to let me down nicely? Not sure.. They were really cute girls and polite too.
My friend's parents used to say this shit to me
>oh you're such a nice boy you'll find a great woman one day!