Need the opinion of anonettes here.
What's your take on older guys and girls who date them?
I'm 30 and been flirting with a 18 year old I met at a cousin's uni party.
She started to "hit" on me, even my cousin (girl) told me to go for it at the party.
Anyway, I kinda wanted a gf but I've seen red flags everywhere.
She has been going out with group of friends to drink since Friday. And likes weed and cigarettes, I do to but I'm 30.
Thanks
I think creep.
Elaborate
Anyone above college age dating a teenager gives creep-vibes. You are approaching middle age, and this girl is still high school age. It is legal to have sex with 18 year olds, but she is still immature and has not formed the decision making skills of an adult yet. You are robbing the cradle here, and it isn't a good look.
My bf and I have been dating for 4 years now. I was 18 when we started dating, and he was 23. Even then, the difference in our maturity levels and lifestyles were very different. I cannot imagine a gap bigger than 5 years.
Well I dated a guy who's nearly 12 years older me so I don't and can't judge that
cam you tell me how you started dating? I'm 20 right now.
It's completely natural, though you should be concerned that she won't be mature enough mentally for a long-term commitment.
the teacher did nothing wrong in that video
You're immature for your age. That's all it is.
Find someone in your age group, that has as much experience as you. This isn't going to go well.
I understand, do you think there's no way to have something at all?
How was it for you? Was a good relationship?
Yes I get that but I can try, right?
My last gf was 32.
He said he didn't want anything too serious but he still sort of treated me like a girlfriend (always taking me out, paying for everything, introducing me to his friends) and I was not too concerned with it either. The sex was amazing and we did have a lot of fun.. But we always had problems communicating properly and relating to some things, not sure if it's so much the age gap because for example I'd have no problem talking more deeply to other people his age or older. He was also kinda immature in some areas of life and my parents disliked him. I'm an international student so I'm more often away than back at home hence why I was fine with it not being too serious but I started to get feels last time I was with him, which was Christmas, and it made me feel insecure because I don't think he feels the same.
Now I'm back at uni and we haven't talked really since so yeah. It's kinda sad, I did try dating guys closer to my age but it always fell apart so fast, hardly ever over a month, so this guy is the longest I've been with someone.
I understand, it is hard in these times to try to get serious as a guy, since as soon as we start to give "bf vibes" girls, specially the younger ones seem put off.
If I may ask how old where you when you started dating him? And how long was it?
And if he wanted it would you have a LTR with him?
I dated a lot of older guys when I was 16-18 (yup, illegally). They were really immature for the most part. They expected me to accommodate them rather than the other way around.
For example, when I was sixteen I wanted to celebrate our one month anniversary with my first boyfriend who was 22. It's the kind of thing you do in high school when you have zero experience dating, not something an early twenties guy wants to do. He was a dick about it honestly. He was very selfish during our relationship and expected me to act like a 22 year old. I honestly would have had a much better time dating someone my own age who would be going through the same feelings as me.
There are going to be a ton of developmental milestones she's going to be experiencing as an 18 year old starting college. You are the older more experienced one in the relationship and it will fall on you to bridge the age gap.
Are you prepared to do that? If not find someone around your own age.
I was 20, we dated like 3 months during summer then continued for the 3 weeks I was back home for Christmas. So yeah an on and off thing which didn't help me feel very secure either.
If we could realistically solve our problem of being so closed off with each other, I would want to be his gf.
Sorry for sort of hijacking your thread, it's been 2 months since I've seen him and I miss him a lot. I did try to get him off my mind and it worked for a bit but it's all come back
I read "red flags" and asked "So why is he still going for it?" Stop ignoring red flags. She's not good. Move on.
Shut the fuck up.
Why do you care what they think? They'll find a reason to hate you no matter what you do.
Why do people buy puppies instead of old dogs?
Yes, I actually would enjoy doing that sort of things, but I didn't consider those things to be that important, I will take note of that
I would love to have those milestones with her, hell I can even make it extra special and invite her to a trip or something to celebrate.
Don't apologise, your comments have been very insightful and I do appreciate them, with you and the other anonette's help I understand much better what to do, and feel much more confident about it, thank you very much, I mean it.
Well I want to know if I'm overreacting to those signs, and wanted more insight from women here.
21 here, get some you old boomer.
Hey sorry didn't see you.
You do think those are really red flags? They do make me approach more cautiously, but don't want to cut it off completely.
First off, I'm not a femanon and you should disregard most of their opinions cause they'll say something "ew you're a creep you should be dating someone my age like me" or "I was a stupid idiot when I was 18 therefore all girls are stupid idiots when they're 18" and "you're a pedophile for wanting to be with a literal adult who is 18"
Second, I'm all for people dating or casually hooking up across crazy age gaps regardless of gender but
>Anyway, I kinda wanted a gf but I've seen red flags everywhere.
>She has been going out with group of friends to drink since Friday. And likes weed and cigarettes, I do to but I'm 30.
there's the issue. Once you as a man get old enough you likely start to act like her dad.
What exactly are the red flags? An 18 year old likes to party on weekends and get high? What 18 year old doesn't like to do that?
You can hook up with her if you want, she probably wants to, but you're gonna shoot yourself in the foot if you think she's gf material for you when just the idea of her doing regular 18 year old things is enough to see that as red flags.
Women don't care a bit about age. They care about attraction and nothing else. Their friends will talk and try to convince her to leave you alone but they do that with everyone.
I hear you man, you are totally right I should drop that mentality and be more laid back.
Kek, yeah it seems that way.
just go for it OP there is a bit of a "taboo" on it but it doesn't matter, these girls are eager af
>be 23
>chatting with this 18 year old cutie who had 1 bf few years ago
>conversation shifts to her birthday
>she asks mine, tell her I'm turning 24 before her 19
>she says it would be a bit weird, but continues talking to me a lot
>start being less responsive to her because getting mad she cares about half a year difference, chatting with different girl anyway
>she suddenly gets way too eager, meanwhile my interest in her is totally gone
>still messages me after I told her I'm not up for meeting
may see her again someday since next year she is going to study in my city, might hit it if she's still cute
>Yes, I actually would enjoy doing that sort of things, but I didn't consider those things to be that important, I will take note of that
I mean that was just an example. A 18 year old probably doesn't want to celebrate a one month anniversary either. And you have to account for her own personality and wants.
There are just going to be things she wants as an 18 year old that you have probably already experienced that you have to be on board for. Like maybe she wants to have some big spring break trip or something.
You sound pretty mature and willing to accommodate her needs though. You have my blessing for what it's worth.